Online Dating Questions

[xise]

Do you respond to a message from a girl that you are not interested in?

My thoughts on the matter:

-The seeming conduct that others display thus far (based on girls responding to my messages) seems to be that if you're not interested, you ignore their message. However, popular or common courses of conduct matter little to me.

-If they ask a specific question that involves information that they could not get elsewhere and is not a thinly veiled attempt to just get to know me (such as a girl who might ask me about whether district attorneys rein in police falsifying evidence), I think I want to respond in order to increase their knowledge.

-If you do respond, do you immediately at some point include language clearly indicating you are not interested, or do you leave just keep it short and brief and try to simply strongly hint you are not interested.

-A part of me feels bad for not responding, because I know when I don't get a reply to one of my messages I can feel a momentarily twinge of of the feeling of rejection, but I also acknowledge that that feeling of rejection gets stronger if it occurs after multiple messages have been exchanged.

What's the most loving way to handle this?

[GentleReckoning]

Don't let the behavior of others constrain your actions. If you feel as though nothing will happen with them, honestly say that you're interested in helping them. Say "I'm interested in conversing with you, but I'm not feeling that 'into you'."

Practice makes perfect. You already know what you want to do. The only thing for you to do now is learn to transmute that intention into the outcome you desire.

[Jade]

I think GR is pretty correct, I think something like "At this time I am uninterested in persuing a dating relationship with you, but I am happy to offer my advice/knowledge for you to learn from, in a purely matter-of-fact way." I think if you are trying to offer the role as teach/learner, accepting a professorly like tone may give the other-self the hint. I think in this situation specifically it should be more blue-ray than green-ray, because the reason people are on dating sites is primarily seeking the green-ray, so when you are mostly congenial they pick up on that, which is why I assume the rejection sets in harder after a few back and forths. It's that ever-so-fine balancing act.

[Hototo]

If you need help in picking up "a mate" then you are approaching the topic from the wrong "angel" (hah).

Be more onto yourself and be social, eventually someone will find you attractive and wish to copulate, when this happens, have the best universal translator system of mate to you that is possible, beyond that. Have fun.

[GentleReckoning]

I think GR is pretty correct, I think something like "At this time I am uninterested in persuing a dating relationship with you, but I am happy to offer my advice/knowledge for you to learn from, in a purely matter-of-fact way." I think if you are trying to offer the role as teach/learner, accepting a professorly like tone may give the other-self the hint. I think in this situation specifically it should be more blue-ray than green-ray, because the reason people are on dating sites is primarily seeking the green-ray, so when you are mostly congenial they pick up on that, which is why I assume the rejection sets in harder after a few back and forths. It's that ever-so-fine balancing act.

I think people's red ray drives them to dating sites. :p

[Jade]

Absolutely. I've never used them so my experience is second hand, but I thought there was mostly an either or, red or green. Also, many women use red to get to the green.

[xise]

Yeah out in Cali online dating was pretty common due to busy jobs and a ton of people were on the sites, but here in NC it's slim pickings.

Back to the bars!!

[Ankh]

Love, light and beer then, my brother!