01-01-2010, 10:38 PM
For about three years now (or more) I have been having a dream with a recurring theme: I keep dreaming that I am in high school, with all the old friends and acquaintances (and enemies) that I used to have. I realize that I have been skipping classes, showing up late (or not at all), and I especially have skipped nearly every day of my math lessons, which was "first period" (first class of the day). I try to remember where my classes are located - that's how much I've skipped! I can barely think straight and I feel very disoriented and confused. I try to remember where my locker is and I wander the halls aimlessly trying to find it. Then I realize I can't even remember what my locker combination is!
I walk into my math class and I am very late. I don't understand a thing that the math teacher is talking about (and that was true in high school...me and math didn't jive well!). He starts telling me that if I don't get a LOT of work done, then I won't graduate. I feel my tasks are impossible.
I walk out of the class and wander the halls some more, and do some thinking about school. I feel high school is a waste of time and that I won't use any of my skills from the classes anyway. I already can read, write and do basic math, so why bother? I decide not to graduate from high school, but instead get a G.E.D. later. I wonder how I'll tell my mom about it - and how upset she'll be. But then I remember "I'm an adult and I can do what I want. She has no say in the matter."
These dreams always leave me with a very depressed, panicky, sick kind of feeling inside...like I'm lost, a failure....something of that nature.
Interestingly, in real life, I have reunited with at least 1/3 of my high school friends and acquaintances (via Facebook). It has been VERY healing in some aspects, because I have been able to talk deeply to a few people that hurt me very much and we were able to discuss what brought about the pain and then apologize and forgive for our immature teenage foibles. And now we're very close!
I did have a dream about ten days ago where I found myself just beginning University.
Anyway, I didn't know about LOO when I first started having these dreams. And now the dreams are scaring me, like somebody is telling me that I've messed up and I'll "never make it" in time to graduate (be harvested into 4D). Any insights, directions, or.....warm gushy hugs??
Luv, Kristy
I walk into my math class and I am very late. I don't understand a thing that the math teacher is talking about (and that was true in high school...me and math didn't jive well!). He starts telling me that if I don't get a LOT of work done, then I won't graduate. I feel my tasks are impossible.
I walk out of the class and wander the halls some more, and do some thinking about school. I feel high school is a waste of time and that I won't use any of my skills from the classes anyway. I already can read, write and do basic math, so why bother? I decide not to graduate from high school, but instead get a G.E.D. later. I wonder how I'll tell my mom about it - and how upset she'll be. But then I remember "I'm an adult and I can do what I want. She has no say in the matter."
These dreams always leave me with a very depressed, panicky, sick kind of feeling inside...like I'm lost, a failure....something of that nature.
Interestingly, in real life, I have reunited with at least 1/3 of my high school friends and acquaintances (via Facebook). It has been VERY healing in some aspects, because I have been able to talk deeply to a few people that hurt me very much and we were able to discuss what brought about the pain and then apologize and forgive for our immature teenage foibles. And now we're very close!
I did have a dream about ten days ago where I found myself just beginning University.
Anyway, I didn't know about LOO when I first started having these dreams. And now the dreams are scaring me, like somebody is telling me that I've messed up and I'll "never make it" in time to graduate (be harvested into 4D). Any insights, directions, or.....warm gushy hugs??
Luv, Kristy