awake

[rocky]

I was named Rocky because my dad loved Rocky marciano.I was born in Plattsburgh NY and currently live about 20 miles from there.The first memory that stands out who I might be is when I was maybe in 1st or 2nd grade and an older kid rubbed my peanutbutter and jam sanwich in my face...kids started laughing and I did too so I rubbed the rest of it in...when I got home my Dad hit the roof and I DO remember the lecture I got in cowardice and pride and all kinds of other stuff that I did'nt understand...Dad taught karate...was a corrections officer at dannemora...course back then it was "prison guard".I never had religious upbringing except in 8th grade my parents put me in a private baptist school because I was long past having my face rubbed in Jiff and now I was doing the rubbing!I could'nt take the strict school and begged to quit when I was 17 and my father granted it thinking that if I had to work I'd see my error,my mother worked at an apple packing house and got me a job picking apples with the Jamacians...got my first check and never looked back.I met my wife in 80 we both had worked the olympics in Placid and with an equivalency diploma I became a corrections officer at dannemora also.I was part of the "goon" squad" ( be as liberal with that as ya want) and lost my job in 91 in a Rodney king like incident inside the jail.I was a very physical man and deserved it ,I knew this then.Working construction of all kinds,tree service, if it paid money I did it people seemed to like me and my personality had calmed considerably.jump forward to 4 years ago,my wife had her first bout with cancer,I was clearing brush and found myself in "dark territory" hating this,that,drs,myself and then self pity my questioning was why?? and my answer "I DESERVE IT" and I would throw logs and drag brush untill I was exausted...I have tried to tell only my wife about what happened next and I refered to it as a "cosmic tickle" everything let go and I laughed hysterically..and laughed for longer than normal...and then it stopped and I felt at that time daffy with love for anything and everything,not normal for me.Of course I was having a "breakdown" so I got paranoid but I do'nt go to doctors,never have unless something is hanging off from me.over the course of a week I had a lot of strange breathing problems and of course I was dying so during one of these sessions I layed on the bed and said that's it and surrendered after a while I got up and cooked our supper like I was supposed ta.Not knowing why I ended up reading 2 years of all kinds of spiritual information while trying to keep it a secret and the last 2 years reading just about everything on and about Don,Carla and Jim everything else is secondary.I have "matured" enough to be myself finally without having false boundaries.wow...this is a long "thread" sorry bout that.[/size][/b][/font]

[Ali Quadir]

Pff not long at all, it was a breeze to read Welcome Rocky! Very welcome...

self pity my questioning was why?? and my answer "I DESERVE IT"

Clearly this was the turning point. Amazing how we can get such immensely clear answers if we ask questions that come from the heart. Incidentally when I asked the why question the answer was "you like it that way!"... The death experience you describe is a very common way of rebirth. People in the olden days used to do all kind of crazy things, including burying themselves in graveyards for three days, just to have these near death experiences. Modern life gives us ours for free, ain't we lucky? :-/

How is your wife now? Health psychologists say that cancer is influenced by a personality type of people who apparently convert stress to cancer in some unknown way. If that's true and I only know the little bits from your story, and you were harsh only 5 years ago, then don't let up on letting that light-bulb in your chest shine. In the least it will make her and you feel good. No woman can resist if her husband suddenly develops a powerful heart. At best optimism and compassion have profound effects on health and quality of life.

Oh, as children we tend to be very natural at finding the right path to happiness. So when life puts peanut butter in your face... Laugh! You can politely rub back, and you don't have to accept malice, but you have to laugh at it at some level none the less! And there's probably a lot left of that kid from before the lecture. Honor him and retrieve the jewel you lost there. You've been among the worst for long enough to know when you're not among them and can be free to be you.

[Brittany]

Wow, sounds like you were one of those people where it all happened pretty quick! I really resonate with a lot of your story. Self deprecation is an issue I still have to work very hard on to this day.

Rest assured that you can say anything here and everyone is very supportive. Welcome to the forum!

-Lynn

[Marina]

beautiful testimony to the power of the human spirit! Thank you.

[Questioner]

Thanks for sharing your story, Rocky.

Not knowing why I ended up reading 2 years of all kinds of spiritual information while trying to keep it a secret and the last 2 years reading just about everything on and about Don,Carla and Jim everything else is secondary.

What do you feel has been most useful to you in all you've read?

[fairyfarmgirl]

Thank you for being now here.

fairyfarmgirl

[rocky]

Thank you for asking...she has had 2 more bouts with it scince then but the last tests are negative!I DO believe that Cancer like the heart can be affected by stress because of the cells being part of our natural make up...but it is like a "catch 22"...western Drs treat it as something you "catch" and externally treat it in the most aggressive ways....with barely enough time to digest what they are telling you they are allready hooking up dates for blood tests density and all sorts of other foreign sound words and things and directly APPLY stress to the patient.Intellectually absorbing quantum physics has helped me understand a lot in the way of passive healing...passive because I still do'nt talk about anything and only apply what feels right... and maturing enough to live with an open heart has let me love myself enough to truly love my wife in a more "helpfull" way.I HAVE found that little guy who laughed all them years ago and embraced him...thank you[/font]
Pff not long at all, it was a breeze to read Welcome Rocky! Very welcome...

self pity my questioning was why?? and my answer "I DESERVE IT"

Clearly this was the turning point. Amazing how we can get such immensely clear answers if we ask questions that come from the heart. Incidentally when I asked the why question the answer was "you like it that way!"... The death experience you describe is a very common way of rebirth. People in the olden days used to do all kind of crazy things, including burying themselves in graveyards for three days, just to have these near death experiences. Modern life gives us ours for free, ain't we lucky? :-/

How is your wife now? Health psychologists say that cancer is influenced by a personality type of people who apparently convert stress to cancer in some unknown way. If that's true and I only know the little bits from your story, and you were harsh only 5 years ago, then don't let up on letting that light-bulb in your chest shine. In the least it will make her and you feel good. No woman can resist if her husband suddenly develops a powerful heart. At best optimism and compassion have profound effects on health and quality of life.

Oh, as children we tend to be very natural at finding the right path to happiness. So when life puts peanut butter in your face... Laugh! You can politely rub back, and you don't have to accept malice, but you have to laugh at it at some level none the less! And there's probably a lot left of that kid from before the lecture. Honor him and retrieve the jewel you lost there. You've been among the worst for long enough to know when you're not among them and can be free to be you.
[/quote]

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For me all books have been a stepping stone to the "Ra material and the Quo channelings...if I was to pick 3 independent works they would be "The inner life" Jim Burns, "journey of souls" Michael Newton" and "The human Radio" Joseph Sadony

What do you feel has been most useful to you in all you've read?
[/quote]

[Questioner]

For me all books have been a stepping stone to the "Ra material and the Quo channelings...if I was to pick 3 independent works they would be "The inner life" Jim Burns, "journey of souls" Michael Newton" and "The human Radio" Joseph Sadony

Thanks Rocky. I've read a lot of Ra and Q'uo material of course, the others are all books I haven't read.

Good news about your wife's clean lab reports. I think your comment about stress & overwhelm relates to many types of diseases, not just cancer. I noticed that cancer is specifically discussed in the Ra books. Is your wife also on some path of metaphysical seeking?

[rocky]

www.gatesofthemind.com, the article/book is called "at home with the innerself" and "the human radio",Michael Newton is a regression hypnotist " (this book resonates for some reason) I am currently focusing on trusting my own guidance and the Ra/Quo transcripts seem to give me permission,does that make sense?And by the way thanks for being a "questioner",it helps and my wife prays as she was taught,I do'nt discuss my path with her or anybody this is the first i've wrote of it...I feel it would cause more stress than help for them.

[Questioner]

www.gatesofthemind.com, the article/book is called "at home with the innerself" and "the human radio",Michael Newton is a regression hypnotist " (this book resonates for some reason)

Thanks for the references!

I am currently focusing on trusting my own guidance and the Ra/Quo transcripts seem to give me permission,does that make sense?

Absolutely it does, the L/L Research material has a lot about each person's own higher self and each person's own unique path. It also talks a lot about truth having more than one spokesperson!

And by the way thanks for being a "questioner",it helps and my wife prays as she was taught,I do'nt discuss my path with her or anybody this is the first i've wrote of it...I feel it would cause more stress than help for them.

I hope that discussion here is helpful and inspiring for you.