04-18-2022, 06:47 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-18-2022, 07:28 PM by MusingsofanAwakenedIteration.)
Hello, Everyone!
To begin, the last year has been an intense one. Lots of in-depth study into topics that I didn't know existed, such as chakras, third eye (pineal gland), kundalini, mudras, channeling, accepting the fact that ETs do exist, the other “taboo” religions, etc. All those plus quitting my engineering job to focus on myself and all the nebulous, unbalanced areas of my complex parts. There was a lot of things I had to work out and have made substantial progress. I do feel at peace with myself, which I had doubts my entire life that I could achieve. That life started when I was around two years old and became a ward of the state. Before that time, was sketchy but I made strides through my life to piece together from my biological relations - although trying to decipher what was fabricated was a challenge. In short, those first two years were not good, per se. Maybe I will fill those details in later. But, my life has been an interesting one.
During my times in foster homes, being property (during the 70’s) wasn’t fun, to say the least. At 7-8 years old, my biological father “rescued” - his words - me from the state system. Unfortunately, the life chapter he started lasted roughly 8 years. Those years were darker than the preceding years. More details that I might fill in later on this forum when/where appropriate. For time and length sake at the current moment, I will refrain. To sum up, I experienced lots of things (abuse) during my foster care days, but the time with my biological father, his wife, and her kids (and the fleeting reunion with my biological brother and sister) put a new level to bleakness and abuse. To say the least, I didn’t know what hate was until this timeframe. I will say this, during this timeframe, I experienced/discovered some interesting things about myself. In the end, those formative years, made me stronger.
At 14-15, I went and lived with my biological mother (she divorced her second husband and went through the legal system to get me away from my biological father). Although a reprieve, this was the beginning of another interesting chapter of my life. To sum this part up, it gave me insight into religious cults and further insight into myself. Standing up for what you believe in can make the school system (et. al.) take notice of you, within the classroom and elsewhere.
At 20, I challenged the church that my mom was in and was summarily kicked out. The challenge came into play when (don’t get me started on the medical industry) I was told that I had six months to live due to aggressive cancer in my saliva glands on my left side of my face. My life perspective was further broadened and darkened. Needless to say, after losing the saliva glands, and the doctor’s admonition that I was still going to die of cancer, I am still here. But that was the catalyst for me to make some serious life changes, hence the church challenging. Here I will say that the surgery took place Xmas eve during that same year of 20. No one showed up Xmas day. In ICU, alone, no one. I cried all that day. Keep in mind that, at 8, I shut all emotions off. I had to because I learned that physical pain would come if I didn’t. So, yea, I cried a lot for the first time in a long time that day.
At this point, I will jump to December of 2019. That for me was a turning point. I decided to quit drinking and to get my life together. Don’t get me wrong, I did accomplish a lot. Several college degrees, raised two kids, got myself independent, again. But, that came crashing down in 2009. I gave up for the first time in my life and started to drink a lot - another story for another time. But, I decided my life needed to get back to the fighter/survivor that I was previously. I stopped drinking like I said and decided to make some serious changes.
I quit my engineering job in Feb ’21 and focused on myself. Last year, April ’21, a month into my sabbatical, let’s call it, from working, I had an out-of-body experience [near death experience (?)] that changed my entire perspective and fueled my self-discovery journey, hence the intense researching into topics I didn’t know about, in most cases, at that time. It has been an amazing ride.
I have been recording some of that journey on my YouTube channel. There I have my recording of that out-of-body experience as well as some personal musings. You are welcome to visit.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOmZ_Vb...Thy1bTNlrA
I can say that the Law of One (which I just started reading a couple of months ago) has made most, if not all, of my life make sense to me.
To begin, the last year has been an intense one. Lots of in-depth study into topics that I didn't know existed, such as chakras, third eye (pineal gland), kundalini, mudras, channeling, accepting the fact that ETs do exist, the other “taboo” religions, etc. All those plus quitting my engineering job to focus on myself and all the nebulous, unbalanced areas of my complex parts. There was a lot of things I had to work out and have made substantial progress. I do feel at peace with myself, which I had doubts my entire life that I could achieve. That life started when I was around two years old and became a ward of the state. Before that time, was sketchy but I made strides through my life to piece together from my biological relations - although trying to decipher what was fabricated was a challenge. In short, those first two years were not good, per se. Maybe I will fill those details in later. But, my life has been an interesting one.
During my times in foster homes, being property (during the 70’s) wasn’t fun, to say the least. At 7-8 years old, my biological father “rescued” - his words - me from the state system. Unfortunately, the life chapter he started lasted roughly 8 years. Those years were darker than the preceding years. More details that I might fill in later on this forum when/where appropriate. For time and length sake at the current moment, I will refrain. To sum up, I experienced lots of things (abuse) during my foster care days, but the time with my biological father, his wife, and her kids (and the fleeting reunion with my biological brother and sister) put a new level to bleakness and abuse. To say the least, I didn’t know what hate was until this timeframe. I will say this, during this timeframe, I experienced/discovered some interesting things about myself. In the end, those formative years, made me stronger.
At 14-15, I went and lived with my biological mother (she divorced her second husband and went through the legal system to get me away from my biological father). Although a reprieve, this was the beginning of another interesting chapter of my life. To sum this part up, it gave me insight into religious cults and further insight into myself. Standing up for what you believe in can make the school system (et. al.) take notice of you, within the classroom and elsewhere.
At 20, I challenged the church that my mom was in and was summarily kicked out. The challenge came into play when (don’t get me started on the medical industry) I was told that I had six months to live due to aggressive cancer in my saliva glands on my left side of my face. My life perspective was further broadened and darkened. Needless to say, after losing the saliva glands, and the doctor’s admonition that I was still going to die of cancer, I am still here. But that was the catalyst for me to make some serious life changes, hence the church challenging. Here I will say that the surgery took place Xmas eve during that same year of 20. No one showed up Xmas day. In ICU, alone, no one. I cried all that day. Keep in mind that, at 8, I shut all emotions off. I had to because I learned that physical pain would come if I didn’t. So, yea, I cried a lot for the first time in a long time that day.
At this point, I will jump to December of 2019. That for me was a turning point. I decided to quit drinking and to get my life together. Don’t get me wrong, I did accomplish a lot. Several college degrees, raised two kids, got myself independent, again. But, that came crashing down in 2009. I gave up for the first time in my life and started to drink a lot - another story for another time. But, I decided my life needed to get back to the fighter/survivor that I was previously. I stopped drinking like I said and decided to make some serious changes.
I quit my engineering job in Feb ’21 and focused on myself. Last year, April ’21, a month into my sabbatical, let’s call it, from working, I had an out-of-body experience [near death experience (?)] that changed my entire perspective and fueled my self-discovery journey, hence the intense researching into topics I didn’t know about, in most cases, at that time. It has been an amazing ride.
I have been recording some of that journey on my YouTube channel. There I have my recording of that out-of-body experience as well as some personal musings. You are welcome to visit.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOmZ_Vb...Thy1bTNlrA
I can say that the Law of One (which I just started reading a couple of months ago) has made most, if not all, of my life make sense to me.
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