09-08-2020, 11:33 AM
You may be overanalyzing, which keeps your focus on him. I think that's the problem—the continued focus on that which you likely need to let go of (focusing on something is a way to control it). You might try focusing on new relationships and activities. There is no magic bullet. All things (internal and external) will line up eventually if that's what you really want, in my opinion.
Here is an analogy: A person, Jack, doesn't fit into society, or so it seems to him. He doesn't agree with average people about anything, because he actually thinks for himself and his thoughts challenge the boundaries of any system. So he analyzes his situation, looking for reasons why he can't resonate with others and the systems he lives in. He may come to think he is a Wanderer or a Starseed. So he looks for validation of this idea everywhere, as he continues to fail at relationships, jobs, friendships. The validating never ends, because the analyzing never ends, because the core problems aren't addressed—just the results are noticed. The core problem may be that Jack really is a Wanderer, or an above-average-intelligence being, and for this reason he does not fit and likely never will. But here is the point: Jack can either focus on validating his origins (which he will never be able to convince himself of entirely because there is no way to "know" while here, so the validation must be ongoing; and this will be the basis of how he interacts with the world, always focusing on how he is different), or he can accept the situation he is in, and play to his "strengths" instead of his "weaknesses." He can turn his attention to creating instead of validating. In this way, he fulfills whatever destiny he has here and likely understands himself better in the process in the long run.
Here is an analogy: A person, Jack, doesn't fit into society, or so it seems to him. He doesn't agree with average people about anything, because he actually thinks for himself and his thoughts challenge the boundaries of any system. So he analyzes his situation, looking for reasons why he can't resonate with others and the systems he lives in. He may come to think he is a Wanderer or a Starseed. So he looks for validation of this idea everywhere, as he continues to fail at relationships, jobs, friendships. The validating never ends, because the analyzing never ends, because the core problems aren't addressed—just the results are noticed. The core problem may be that Jack really is a Wanderer, or an above-average-intelligence being, and for this reason he does not fit and likely never will. But here is the point: Jack can either focus on validating his origins (which he will never be able to convince himself of entirely because there is no way to "know" while here, so the validation must be ongoing; and this will be the basis of how he interacts with the world, always focusing on how he is different), or he can accept the situation he is in, and play to his "strengths" instead of his "weaknesses." He can turn his attention to creating instead of validating. In this way, he fulfills whatever destiny he has here and likely understands himself better in the process in the long run.