07-29-2020, 10:30 PM
I feel like fully wrapping up the "story" of the transition between the communities, before moving on to more wider reflections and things about life and learning.
As mentioned in the other thread, I officially left the Cassiopaea community's "Fellowship of the Cosmic Mind" in September, 2019. There, I describe more about the philosophical differences, etc. Here, I'll write more about what happened.
The advice to "just leave" is the standard advice of the Cassiopaea community to those who no longer fit; if you don't like what they are about, it's the mature and free-will-respecting way to proceed. I do agree that it would have been pointless to stay around and argue with a crowd not open to the thinking I had developed.
And so, this is the email I sent on the 24th...
When some days had passed without a response, I quoted it and added the following on the members' board:
I was feeling some inner upheaval. I wrote what I wrote with a simple intention: making it unnecessary to respond, deciding in advance that I would not make any reply.
Anyway, I checked replies a couple of times before just leaving it. First, a few short, polite responses came in, expressing the basic sentiment: "Okay, you are leaving. Realities diverge. Take care." I remember that one member seemed to feel something in the air, writing a quick note about being wary of 4D STS influences.
A bit later, some invisible switch seemed to have been flipped. A member expressed a new sentiment: "You are playing the group and creating drama. You suck." The member seemed to expect that, like some others had in the past, I would jump in and make it a very drawn-out and manipulative good-bye.
Along with that post, I saw that others had come in very quickly following that turn in direction. One member quoted my line about having "irreconcilable differences" with the Fellowship, and concluded that I was so unreasonable that I probably wouldn't get along with anyone in the world. Another member pointed out I may be "slightly egocentric" in connection with seeming to identify as 'intellectual' in another discussion.
It was as if I was rapidly growing little "horns" in the eyes of the commenters, now that I was no longer "us" but rather "them" instead. It was fascinating, actually, to watch. But after reading that influx of posts, I let it be. I'd had enough of what began to feel like an inadvertent "scratch and sniff" test, revealing something I'd rather not remain in.
How blind had I been to not clearly see similar tendencies when the group directed it towards others in the past? I was suddenly reminded of one member who, years ago, had criticized the group by comparing its behavior to immaturity he remembered from the schoolyard. Perhaps it was simply the pattern of what was accepted and not accepted which differed. That's why I had earlier "fit in" with the Fellowship, while in school I had been bullied.
The next day I received two polite emails, each from an admin, confirming my removal. The two are, in a way, people fairly like myself, except that so far, they have not faced any irreconcilable differences standing in the way of their continued journeys with that community. And while I remember them as generally nice, they don't feel the stench which has slowly intensified around them over the years.
Half a year later, March 15, I finally tied up a remaining loose end, by getting my 2011 anti-defamation testimonial for the group unpublished. It was on the website "cassiopaea-cult.com", where they counter what's written on "cassiopaeacult.com" and elsewhere. I had let it remain in part for the sake of countering lies, by actual conman and black magick practitioner Vincent Bridges, et al. But keeping my distance to that does not mean I have to keep supporting the group. I emailed:
As mentioned in the other thread, I officially left the Cassiopaea community's "Fellowship of the Cosmic Mind" in September, 2019. There, I describe more about the philosophical differences, etc. Here, I'll write more about what happened.
(10-24-2019, 03:58 PM)Asolsutsesvyl Wrote: I felt I couldn't write all I had on my mind while still being a member of the Fellowship (FOTCM) which is the "club" (officially a religion) which is the inner part of the Cassiopaea community. As I mentioned before, I was really not sure what to say to them, with all I had on my mind. I finally came to the conclusion that the best I could do, having already discussed personal matters in the past, was to post a few things which may generally stimulate thinking and then simply leave.
I sent a short message about having decided to leave on September the 24th. I mention this because of a symbolic event. A few days after, while walking one evening, I bumped my head on a sign while looking down, a "slow down near the school" type of sign. I found that I had not yet gotten a response to the message (as it would turn out, the person usually handling it was away for the week). After posting a message on the members' board, the next day I was removed. Then followed a sense of inner expansiveness and healing which has gone on since then.
The advice to "just leave" is the standard advice of the Cassiopaea community to those who no longer fit; if you don't like what they are about, it's the mature and free-will-respecting way to proceed. I do agree that it would have been pointless to stay around and argue with a crowd not open to the thinking I had developed.
And so, this is the email I sent on the 24th...
Quote:Hello,
After a long time of being really torn on my membership, I think it's time to simply leave.
The truth is, I don't belong in the community, at any rate as it has developed.
It wasn't easy to realize that there are irreconcilable differences, but knowing that there are, I'm not going to pretend otherwise.
I simply request that you end my membership ASAP.
This is final, after much thinking.
When some days had passed without a response, I quoted it and added the following on the members' board:
Quote:I sent this both as email to [the address] and as a PM to [forum admin] on the evening of Sep 24 (with the same heading: "Leaving the Fellowship").
I would have hoped that in the three days since, there would have been some response (and preferably in the direction of going ahead with the request) - but there's been none.
So now I re-post my simple request to leave here.
[the text quoted above]
P.S. Since this is going to be read by various people who may subjectively prefer that I not leave. Please do not waste your nor my time and energy with "do not leave" replies. I simply mean it when I want to leave.
I was feeling some inner upheaval. I wrote what I wrote with a simple intention: making it unnecessary to respond, deciding in advance that I would not make any reply.
Anyway, I checked replies a couple of times before just leaving it. First, a few short, polite responses came in, expressing the basic sentiment: "Okay, you are leaving. Realities diverge. Take care." I remember that one member seemed to feel something in the air, writing a quick note about being wary of 4D STS influences.
A bit later, some invisible switch seemed to have been flipped. A member expressed a new sentiment: "You are playing the group and creating drama. You suck." The member seemed to expect that, like some others had in the past, I would jump in and make it a very drawn-out and manipulative good-bye.
Along with that post, I saw that others had come in very quickly following that turn in direction. One member quoted my line about having "irreconcilable differences" with the Fellowship, and concluded that I was so unreasonable that I probably wouldn't get along with anyone in the world. Another member pointed out I may be "slightly egocentric" in connection with seeming to identify as 'intellectual' in another discussion.
It was as if I was rapidly growing little "horns" in the eyes of the commenters, now that I was no longer "us" but rather "them" instead. It was fascinating, actually, to watch. But after reading that influx of posts, I let it be. I'd had enough of what began to feel like an inadvertent "scratch and sniff" test, revealing something I'd rather not remain in.
How blind had I been to not clearly see similar tendencies when the group directed it towards others in the past? I was suddenly reminded of one member who, years ago, had criticized the group by comparing its behavior to immaturity he remembered from the schoolyard. Perhaps it was simply the pattern of what was accepted and not accepted which differed. That's why I had earlier "fit in" with the Fellowship, while in school I had been bullied.
The next day I received two polite emails, each from an admin, confirming my removal. The two are, in a way, people fairly like myself, except that so far, they have not faced any irreconcilable differences standing in the way of their continued journeys with that community. And while I remember them as generally nice, they don't feel the stench which has slowly intensified around them over the years.
Half a year later, March 15, I finally tied up a remaining loose end, by getting my 2011 anti-defamation testimonial for the group unpublished. It was on the website "cassiopaea-cult.com", where they counter what's written on "cassiopaeacult.com" and elsewhere. I had let it remain in part for the sake of countering lies, by actual conman and black magick practitioner Vincent Bridges, et al. But keeping my distance to that does not mean I have to keep supporting the group. I emailed:
Quote:Hello,The request was promptly responded to, the old article deleted. By then, I no longer found it ethical to support the Cassiopaea group, either. In that, I largely agree with what Montalk has to say.
I have decided that I can no longer stand by the words I wrote here:
[link to now-removed article]
I request the removal of my old testimonial. Its absence will be of no significance in relation to the old defamation which is countered on that site. I do not support the work of Vincent Bridges et al., and will not do so in the future. The description of the community is however far from my current views.