I used to be a member here years ago and read the first 2 books of the Law of One.
Since I could remember I would do anything to distract myself from how I felt.
Whether it was cartoons or sweets from a young age; or the addition of video games and weed as life went on.
I would fill that void with anything that would make me feel good again.
Time and time again I tried to break the cycle.
People would tell me anything is fine in moderation, but that just seemed like an old fairy tale.
I would have to quit cold turkey because there was no other way for me.
I came to this forum looking for help, but all I found was hopelessness.
I tried everything that was mentioned to me on this forum and nothing ever worked; in fact it made it worse.
Looking back from where I am now, there was foolishness hiding behind the intent of love.
Here we are years later falling victim again to the cycle of filling the void.
One good acid trip and I know I must break the cycle or else my path is going to eventually kill me.
3 days ago I went to see a shaman who helped me sort out my energy.
As an energy sensitive person, he taught me how to decipher my energy from others.
Following his work, I found I had an inability to have any personal relationships because i had no clue how i felt.
Before the experience I knew there was a huge void inside me, but I couldn't understand or pinpoint it.
2 days after my visit I could feel and explore the void; which turned out to be the relationship between me and my dad.
After just a small talk we truly connected for the first time even though he has always taken good care of me.
It just wasn't natural for him to open up since his dad was in a war when he was a kid and never had time for him when he got back.
Now I have made more progress in 3 days than I have in all of my 22 years of life.
I find i'm quite sensitive to energy and am able to feel connections rather strongly.
I just wanted to share because I hope to help others along my path just as all of you do.
There are certain things we can help people with, but many of us still have our own distortions.
Through my experience I see an inability to connect to people that have certain blockages in their lower energy centers especially through online forums.
I have no doubt someone on here could've if not actually made the connection for me, but there is no way I would of been able to connect with their understanding as I was heavily distorted.
To put our distortions on others will just set them back, so we must be very careful and cautious in making sure we aren't hurting others.
Much love to all of you.
Since I could remember I would do anything to distract myself from how I felt.
Whether it was cartoons or sweets from a young age; or the addition of video games and weed as life went on.
I would fill that void with anything that would make me feel good again.
Time and time again I tried to break the cycle.
People would tell me anything is fine in moderation, but that just seemed like an old fairy tale.
I would have to quit cold turkey because there was no other way for me.
I came to this forum looking for help, but all I found was hopelessness.
I tried everything that was mentioned to me on this forum and nothing ever worked; in fact it made it worse.
Looking back from where I am now, there was foolishness hiding behind the intent of love.
Here we are years later falling victim again to the cycle of filling the void.
One good acid trip and I know I must break the cycle or else my path is going to eventually kill me.
3 days ago I went to see a shaman who helped me sort out my energy.
As an energy sensitive person, he taught me how to decipher my energy from others.
Following his work, I found I had an inability to have any personal relationships because i had no clue how i felt.
Before the experience I knew there was a huge void inside me, but I couldn't understand or pinpoint it.
2 days after my visit I could feel and explore the void; which turned out to be the relationship between me and my dad.
After just a small talk we truly connected for the first time even though he has always taken good care of me.
It just wasn't natural for him to open up since his dad was in a war when he was a kid and never had time for him when he got back.
Now I have made more progress in 3 days than I have in all of my 22 years of life.
I find i'm quite sensitive to energy and am able to feel connections rather strongly.
I just wanted to share because I hope to help others along my path just as all of you do.
There are certain things we can help people with, but many of us still have our own distortions.
Through my experience I see an inability to connect to people that have certain blockages in their lower energy centers especially through online forums.
I have no doubt someone on here could've if not actually made the connection for me, but there is no way I would of been able to connect with their understanding as I was heavily distorted.
To put our distortions on others will just set them back, so we must be very careful and cautious in making sure we aren't hurting others.
Much love to all of you.