Hello I'm new here
03-11-2019, 07:53 PM, (This post was last modified: 03-11-2019, 07:55 PM by Arian.)
#1
Hello I'm new here
Hello,

My name is Arian. I'm a wanderer. I was born on this planet in 1967. I'm 51 years old.
Life on this planet has been painful. I never married nor had children.
I gone through a lot. I have read many subjects and schools of thought.


One day in summer of 2016 I was meditating under an oak grove. When I felt another world a world for beauty and peace. I know it exists but we have missed it.
I have such a longing for this place and home that I have remembered form early childhood.

This world is harsh cruel and unjust. Violent. The people in this world I find apathetic and narcissistic.

I have studied The Law of One, the books by Osho, Scot Mandelker, David Icke, Jordan Maxwell, Michael Tsarion and many more.

Then I learned of the Gnostic Archons. They teach this universe is simulation like a computer program a Matrix.

Then I think are we here to learn evolve and grow? Or are we prisoners here?

I do not know. I have missed something and sometimes I feel as though my life is a complete waste.
I slave away at my 9 to 5. I take care of my elderly mother.

I find this world and society unfit for life. Violent weather and dangerous life forms not to mention corrupt humans.

I'm sorry, this tired Wander and old soul had to vent.

Thank you.

Arian


.
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03-11-2019, 07:56 PM,
#2
RE: Hello I'm new here
(03-11-2019, 07:53 PM)Arian Wrote:  Hello,

My name is Arian. I'm a wanderer. I was born on this planet in 1967. I'm 51 years old.
Life on this planet has been painful. I never married nor had children.
I gone through a lot. I have read many subjects and schools of thought.


One day in summer of 2016 I was meditating under an oak grove. When I felt another world a world for beauty and peace. I know it exists but we have missed it.
I have such a longing for this place and home that I have remembered form early childhood.

This world is harsh cruel and unjust. Violent. The people in this world I find apathetic and narcissistic.

I have studied The Law of One, the books by Osho, Scot Mandelker, David Icke, Jordan Maxwell, Michael Tsarion and many more.

Then I learned of the Gnostic Archons. They teach this universe is simulation like a computer program a Matrix.

Then I think are we here to learn evolve and grow? Or are we prisoners here?

I do not know. I have missed something and sometimes I feel as though my life is a complete waste.
I slave away at my 9 to 5. I take care of my elderly mother.

I find this world and society unfit for life. Violent weather and dangerous life forms not to mention corrupt humans.

I'm sorry, this tired Wander and old soul had to vent.

Thank you.

Arian


.
Hermann Hesse - Somewhere

I'm wandering and burning in the desert of human life,
and I'm suffering under this heavy burden.
But somewhere, there is an almost forgotten flower,
I know that there is a garden somewhere under cool shadows.

although it is so far away, like a dream...
I know that this resting place is waiting for me for sure.
Our spirit is holding the place of our birth again,
where slumber, night and stars are waiting for me.
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03-11-2019, 08:10 PM,
#3
RE: Hello I'm new here
That was a great poem Arian. And welcome to the forum.

My favorite poet is ee cummings. I like how he indents various lines to add timing to them.
I can't post an example here because I don't think this site allows indenting.

Your example is inspiring, because I too desire to be out among the stars. Just not here in 3D.
I'm sure you will find family among the people here.
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03-12-2019, 05:17 AM,
#4
RE: Hello I'm new here
Welcome to the forum, Arian!

What you describe was exactly my experience (except for romantic relationships and children) for decades and led me even to the brink of suicide more than once.

And, then, I discovered the Truth about who I am and what is happening "here". Now, I am loving and enjoying every moment of this illusory experience and my true creative power.
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03-12-2019, 05:22 AM,
#5
RE: Hello I'm new here
Hi Arian. Welcome to the forum. I hope you find some comfort here. Smile
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03-12-2019, 11:09 AM,
#6
RE: Hello I'm new here
Hello Arian, welcome here. I so hope, like Louisabell, you find some comfort here. it will get easier Smile
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03-12-2019, 12:01 PM,
#7
RE: Hello I'm new here
Hello Arian,

Welcome to the forum. I've recently joined it also. Hey, it's o.k to "vent", and not keep life's pressures all bottled up inside yourself.
From your post, you indicate that you've done a lot of reading. I would guess that most on the forum have that in common with you. Just reading the posts, you can tell that there's a lot of knowledge here, as well as many people with compassion and love for others.

On the "reading" subject, from the authors you list, I note that you mention a few of those known for dealing with the "conspiracy" subjects. I've read their materials as well as many others that bring to light the negative nature and actions of their "Hierarchical Pyramid".

(The following is just my life's experience)

I studied same for many years, ultimately depressing myself (and others) with every trip I discovered down another rabbit hole. A year or so ago, I finally came to the conclusion that ... o.k. ... I got the message. Metaphorically speaking, I "hung up the phone". I got it. It's rotten at the top of the pyramid, and that's just the way it is. Now, how much of this knowledge am I going to continually allow to spoil/exhaust/deplete my life-force, taking my mind/energy/time away from living in the present "moment". Dwelling on all that was "wrong" around me had literally stolen much time from my life over the years, time I'll never get back.

I'm not saying the study of the conspiratorial system is wrong, or that its your "problem", and that doing what I did will make all your negative situations go away. I'm just sharing what I did to attempt to bring more balance to my own life, and I can say that it did.

Whenever you have some spare time at home, bring up youtube on your tv. Select videos with a half hour or so of nothing but Nature... animals, landscapes... listen to the wind blow and watch as it moves the grasses in the scene back and forth. See the Creator.

You found a place of peace and beauty in that grove. Don't let it go. Keep in contact with it by "going there" in your mind when you have opportunity. Nourish it. You'll get there. It's yours.

I hope you find some "value" within this post Arian. My best wishes for you.
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Yesterday, 10:49 PM,
#8
RE: Hello I'm new here
Welcome, Arian.

I'm going to echo some of what krb said. I too spent many years reading about all the negative things happening in the world, and all the dark forces behind the negative side of existence. I was left with an incredibly bleak outlook on life, even trying to end it all years ago.

I thought it was a measure of adulthood to know all the terrible things happening in the world. I read varied news sources when I woke up. Blood and death and destruction and corruption with my morning cup of coffee. I plowed through Icke and others in the evening. In short, my free space was filled with darkness. I saw threats everywhere. I noticed people's flaws first, mine included. I was a cynic, a self-proclaimed "realist."

Then I came across a channeled message (can't remember if it was Q'uo or Orin) that said we're in control of what media we take in.

So simple. So profound.

In that moment I decided to become my own human experiment. I erased all my bookmarks. I stopped reading the news. I stopped looking at headlines. I deleted social media.

I could feel myself sloughing the residual negative goop.

But it wasn't enough.

I decided to volunteer and become involved with the youth in my community. I, too, have never married nor had kids. It's outside of my comfort zone, but it's been the most profoundly life-changing experience I've had.

These kids are so different nowadays. Qualitatively different. They are heart-centered and loving and accepting. It's not cool to be divisive or bullying or judgmental. Working with these kids - even the ones who are at-risk and in trouble with the law - has given me a renewed hope for humanity. Hope for the future.

Most importantly, it has helped me turn a corner in my baseline attitude. I feel more positive. Joyful. I'm surrounded by beauty instead of negativity. Of course it has an effect.

I hope this wasn't too long-winded. Just my experience and wanted to share.

Best of luck to you. Glad you're here.

You get what you concentrate upon.
                                              -Seth
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Yesterday, 10:57 PM,
#9
RE: Hello I'm new here
Hey Arian! Welcome to Bring4th! I am no longer so confident that I'm a wanderer, but I can relate to the feeling that life on this planet is painful. You probably feel lonely too, am I right? Hopefully you'll feel like you're in good company on these forums. Anyway, it's nice to meet you and I look forward to your future posts Smile
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7 hours ago,
#10
RE: Hello I'm new here
I echo what Rybo said. The media is to be avoided and information intake selected consciously. I will add that (for me) it takes constant vigilance. Avoiding the news is easy, but processing the suffering in this world is not.

I agree with Rybo that helping others mitigates the challenge of being here. It makes me feel good just feeding the birds every morning and hearing their excited warblings and chirps. I live in the desert and water is scarce, so I keep water sources on my property for the animals. I feed the bunnies, deer, javelina, and mule deer carrots and apples. Which brings me to another thing that helps being here—to immerse yourself in nature when you can and get some relief from human dramas.
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6 hours ago,
#11
RE: Hello I'm new here
(7 hours ago)Diana Wrote:  I echo what Rybo said. The media is to be avoided and information intake selected consciously. I will add that (for me) it takes constant vigilance. Avoiding the news is easy, but processing the suffering in this world is not.

I agree with Rybo that helping others mitigates the challenge of being here. It makes me feel good just feeding the birds every morning and hearing their excited warblings and chirps. I live in the desert and water is scarce, so I keep water sources on my property for the animals. I feed the bunnies, deer, javelina, and mule deer carrots and apples. Which brings me to another thing that helps being here—to immerse yourself in nature when you can and get some relief from human dramas.

Are there bees there too for you to water?
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6 hours ago,
#12
RE: Hello I'm new here
(6 hours ago)IndigoGeminiWolf Wrote:  
(7 hours ago)Diana Wrote:  I echo what Rybo said. The media is to be avoided and information intake selected consciously. I will add that (for me) it takes constant vigilance. Avoiding the news is easy, but processing the suffering in this world is not.

I agree with Rybo that helping others mitigates the challenge of being here. It makes me feel good just feeding the birds every morning and hearing their excited warblings and chirps. I live in the desert and water is scarce, so I keep water sources on my property for the animals. I feed the bunnies, deer, javelina, and mule deer carrots and apples. Which brings me to another thing that helps being here—to immerse yourself in nature when you can and get some relief from human dramas.

Are there bees there too for you to water?

Yes. There are a lot of bees. They come to all the water sources and sometimes I just hang with them. Smile
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6 hours ago, (This post was last modified: 6 hours ago by IndigoGeminiWolf.)
#13
RE: Hello I'm new here
I once let a bee crawl on my bare arm on purpose, because I knew they don't sting you unless you squish them.
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5 hours ago,
#14
RE: Hello I'm new here
(6 hours ago)IndigoGeminiWolf Wrote:  I once let a bee crawl on my bare arm on purpose, because I knew they don't sting you unless you squish them.

Yes, that's true. It is a matter of getting used to being around them. So kudos to you. Smile

Bees have wonderful energy, gentle, cooperative, just going about their business. And they play such a vital role in our existence. I love watching them. 
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