11-06-2018, 05:10 AM
Greetings everyone!
I’m new to this forum and this is my first post (I apologize if this is under the wrong sub-forum). I just found this site several days ago and was delighted to find such a wonderful and active community. I just finished the Law of One book three and there is endless amounts of material to discuss and review. The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know. That is why I would greatly appreciate it if this board could offer me any wisdom/guidance on a problem I’ve had most of my life.
Since my teenage years I’ve suffered from a very rare disease, one that Men’s Journal called “without a doubt one of the most mysterious diseases we've ever come across”. It is called postorgasmic illness syndrome, defined on Wikipedia as “a syndrome in which men have chronic physical and cognitive symptoms immediately following ejaculation”. Although there are physical symptoms, the main symptoms are mental and debilitating, including severe fatigue, anxiety, depression, difficulty communicating, remembering words, reading and retaining information, concentrating, and socializing.
There is no cure and very little treatment options, and although the prevalence is unknown, it is very rare. I have always been fairly spiritual and felt there was a purpose for it, and reading the Law of One books has strengthened that feeling, as well as helping me narrow down the possible purposes for it.
At first reading the Law of One I felt it could be a catalyst. Despite how difficult it has been, it has taught me so very much and made me stronger. As a child I used to pray to God for strength and wisdom, and I have long realized it has granted me a great number of opportunities to develop both. It has opened my mind to many possibilities, and I’m very thankful for what I have learned from this open-mindedness, particularly from the Law of One books which have been life changing.
Even more important than this however is that it set me on the positive polarity path. As a young teen I was unpolarized and alienated, heading down a negative path quickly. Although this disease and the obvious suffering I was going through alienated me much more, it also attracted service-to-others friends to which I was extremely grateful, and it allowed me to empathize with others struggles.
Despite the debilitating circumstances of this disease, overall I’m grateful for it, that it got me to this point. However, now that I’ve found the Law of One and this community, I’m far past the point of diminishing returns for the benefits of my disease. As I took away from the first few books of the Law of One, if it were a catalyst, I should just be able to meditate and stop it. However, after almost a week of meditation I haven’t been able to have a significant effect.
In one of my meditation sessions I considered that it might not be a catalyst and could simply just be a blockage of energy centers. Next, I was remembering my childhood, trying to see if anything could have led to a choice to block my energy centers. I remembered my feeling of alienation and lack of friends very clearly, and at the time I thought it was my intelligence that ostracized me. I hated that as I was “gifted” (as the school called me) and just wanted to be like everyone else. I think I may have blocked my indigo ray (and possibly blue ray) in order to fit in better, and when that didn’t work in helping me make friends I grew colder, and I think I blocked my green ray as well.
Even though I have many great friends now, I still feel alienated from everyone due to my disease, and I have great trouble loving those that look down at me (due to the diseases effect on my appearance and personality) even though I understand why they do. I still feel as though my indigo ray is blocked, after all a lack of energy is the worst symptom of the disease, making me feel like a zombie and unable to fufill some of my most simple responsibilities some days. Finally I think my blue ray is blocked as well, as I have great trouble communicating at times.
I will continue to meditate, look through the Law of One books, and this forum for help on unblocking these rays, however I have very little free time right now, so I would greatly appreciate any advice this board could offer on unblocking these rays. Further if you have any similar experiences please share and let me know if you think my analysis of green/blue/indigo blockage is correct for the underlying cause of this disorder.
I’m new to this forum and this is my first post (I apologize if this is under the wrong sub-forum). I just found this site several days ago and was delighted to find such a wonderful and active community. I just finished the Law of One book three and there is endless amounts of material to discuss and review. The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know. That is why I would greatly appreciate it if this board could offer me any wisdom/guidance on a problem I’ve had most of my life.
Since my teenage years I’ve suffered from a very rare disease, one that Men’s Journal called “without a doubt one of the most mysterious diseases we've ever come across”. It is called postorgasmic illness syndrome, defined on Wikipedia as “a syndrome in which men have chronic physical and cognitive symptoms immediately following ejaculation”. Although there are physical symptoms, the main symptoms are mental and debilitating, including severe fatigue, anxiety, depression, difficulty communicating, remembering words, reading and retaining information, concentrating, and socializing.
There is no cure and very little treatment options, and although the prevalence is unknown, it is very rare. I have always been fairly spiritual and felt there was a purpose for it, and reading the Law of One books has strengthened that feeling, as well as helping me narrow down the possible purposes for it.
At first reading the Law of One I felt it could be a catalyst. Despite how difficult it has been, it has taught me so very much and made me stronger. As a child I used to pray to God for strength and wisdom, and I have long realized it has granted me a great number of opportunities to develop both. It has opened my mind to many possibilities, and I’m very thankful for what I have learned from this open-mindedness, particularly from the Law of One books which have been life changing.
Even more important than this however is that it set me on the positive polarity path. As a young teen I was unpolarized and alienated, heading down a negative path quickly. Although this disease and the obvious suffering I was going through alienated me much more, it also attracted service-to-others friends to which I was extremely grateful, and it allowed me to empathize with others struggles.
Despite the debilitating circumstances of this disease, overall I’m grateful for it, that it got me to this point. However, now that I’ve found the Law of One and this community, I’m far past the point of diminishing returns for the benefits of my disease. As I took away from the first few books of the Law of One, if it were a catalyst, I should just be able to meditate and stop it. However, after almost a week of meditation I haven’t been able to have a significant effect.
In one of my meditation sessions I considered that it might not be a catalyst and could simply just be a blockage of energy centers. Next, I was remembering my childhood, trying to see if anything could have led to a choice to block my energy centers. I remembered my feeling of alienation and lack of friends very clearly, and at the time I thought it was my intelligence that ostracized me. I hated that as I was “gifted” (as the school called me) and just wanted to be like everyone else. I think I may have blocked my indigo ray (and possibly blue ray) in order to fit in better, and when that didn’t work in helping me make friends I grew colder, and I think I blocked my green ray as well.
Even though I have many great friends now, I still feel alienated from everyone due to my disease, and I have great trouble loving those that look down at me (due to the diseases effect on my appearance and personality) even though I understand why they do. I still feel as though my indigo ray is blocked, after all a lack of energy is the worst symptom of the disease, making me feel like a zombie and unable to fufill some of my most simple responsibilities some days. Finally I think my blue ray is blocked as well, as I have great trouble communicating at times.
I will continue to meditate, look through the Law of One books, and this forum for help on unblocking these rays, however I have very little free time right now, so I would greatly appreciate any advice this board could offer on unblocking these rays. Further if you have any similar experiences please share and let me know if you think my analysis of green/blue/indigo blockage is correct for the underlying cause of this disorder.