A somewhat unremarkable story
12-06-2017, 09:36 AM,
#1
A somewhat unremarkable story
My personal awakening experience started over 50 years ago, while yet a very young child. I never felt I belonged and as I grew through adolescence, my feelings of inadequacy and outright failing to fit in were attributed to the stereotypical teenage predilection for simply suffering through life and the associated growing pains. I was weird and even my teenage friends knew it. No girlfriends and no real bonding with my school aged friends. As I passed through my teenage years, I was attracted to many of the things that my friends were interested in sports like football and karate. However, I felt myself drawn into the philosophy of Bruce Lee instead of the mechanics of fighting.

Following high school I enlisted in military service and left home, my horizons began to open as the restrictive perception of my personal oddities were easier to hide from others. My introverted nature became more comfortable and, try as I might, I felt disconnected at social gatherings while failing miserably at producing “small talk.” Because I was able to accept the shutting out from my piers while simultaneously seeking philosophical inspiration, I felt that I was growing and learning. I was drawn specifically to Tai Chi, an individual form or martial arts, as well as the mystical side of that philosophy. This will recognized much later as a pivotal point in my life, having been attracted to purchase a book of Tao Te Ching without specifically knowing why.

My search for the Truth had begun, unknown to me, and I was on a path of enlightenment that stretched out before me. After the military service, I received what I now know to be a telepathic message of awakening in the statement, “As you dream, so shall you become.” I couldn’t, to this day, explain how or where this “message” had come from, or why. But it became the basis for my future study.

But, my lessons slowed to almost nothing during the middle time of my life and I almost went to back to sleep being completely enmeshed in living according to the world parameters; what became known to me as running in the “rat race.” I was achieving all of my goals and gathering “stuff” that should have constituted success but was even less happy feeling more disconnected with the passing of each day.

When my life fell apart as I divorced my first wife and I was shocked into my second awakening and returned to my search for the Truth.
This was my real awakening and the search began in earnest.

It is my belief that humans are “shocked” into or out of our reality by traumatic events in our lives causing us to consider or analyze our circumstances as we ask why things may have happened. I am now forced to consider if these types of events themselves are an affectation of outside influence to cause this response…

Since that time, I have been led to find many of the truths that I have defined as my “belief system.” The elements of my belief system have been discovered, exposed or hypothesized through introspective analysis as well as online research. What I thought was a singular effort may have been orchestrated or led by external forces providing clues that directed my search. I may never discover if my research has been assisted or guided and it doesn’t really matter.

I am here, I am ready and I believe.

"Not all those who wander are lost..." J.R.R Tolkien
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12-06-2017, 10:26 AM,
#2
RE: A somewhat unremarkable story
Hello Billz! Wonderful to have you here Smile Thank you for sharing your story.

Quote:It is my belief that humans are “shocked” into or out of our reality by traumatic events in our lives causing us to consider or analyze our circumstances as we ask why things may have happened. I am now forced to consider if these types of events themselves are an affectation of outside influence to cause this response…

Yes, I totally agree! Very perceptive. This is also how I woke up and began sincerely and consciously seeking. Crisis shakes us out of complacency.

I look forward to hearing more from you, my friend. Best of wishes!
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Quan
12-07-2017, 04:33 AM,
#3
RE: A somewhat unremarkable story
(12-06-2017, 09:36 AM)Billz Wrote:  My personal awakening experience started over 50 years ago, while yet a very young child.  I never felt I belonged and as I grew through adolescence, my feelings of inadequacy and outright failing to fit in were attributed to the stereotypical teenage predilection for simply suffering through life and the associated growing pains.  I was weird and even my teenage friends knew it.  No girlfriends and no real bonding with my school aged friends.  As I passed through my teenage years, I was attracted to many of the things that my friends were interested in sports like football and karate.  However, I felt myself drawn into the philosophy of Bruce Lee instead of the mechanics of fighting.

Following high school I enlisted in military service and left home, my horizons began to open as the restrictive perception of my personal oddities were easier to hide from others.  My introverted nature became more comfortable and, try as I might, I felt disconnected at social gatherings while failing miserably at producing “small talk.” Because I was able to accept the shutting out from my piers while simultaneously seeking philosophical inspiration, I felt that I was growing and learning.  I was drawn specifically to Tai Chi, an individual form or martial arts, as well as the mystical side of that philosophy.  This will recognized much later as a pivotal point in my life, having been attracted to purchase a book of Tao Te Ching without specifically knowing why.

My search for the Truth had begun, unknown to me, and I was on a path of enlightenment that stretched out before me.  After the military service, I received what I now know to be a telepathic message of awakening in the statement, “As you dream, so shall you become.”  I couldn’t, to this day, explain how or where this “message” had come from, or why.  But it became the basis for my future study.

But, my lessons slowed to almost nothing during the middle time of my life and I almost went to back to sleep being completely enmeshed in living according to the world parameters; what became known to me as running in the “rat race.”  I was achieving all of my goals and gathering “stuff” that should have constituted success but was even less happy feeling more disconnected with the passing of each day.  

When my life fell apart as I divorced my first wife and I was shocked into my second awakening and returned to my search for the Truth.
This was my real awakening and the search began in earnest.

It is my belief that humans are “shocked” into or out of our reality by traumatic events in our lives causing us to consider or analyze our circumstances as we ask why things may have happened.  I am now forced to consider if these types of events themselves are an affectation of outside influence to cause this response…

Since that time, I have been led to find many of the truths that I have defined as my “belief system.”  The elements of my belief system have been discovered, exposed or hypothesized through introspective analysis as well as online research.  What I thought was a singular effort may have been orchestrated or led by external forces providing clues that directed my search.  I may never discover if my research has been assisted or guided and it doesn’t really matter.

I am here, I am ready and I believe.

Lovely story, great example of finding ones own truth.

With trauma
"It is my belief that humans are “shocked” into or out of our reality by traumatic events in our lives causing us to consider or analyze our circumstance"
This is also clearly stated in Law of One
"It is to be noted that among your entities a large percentage of all progression has as catalyst, trauma."

One thing that may help I reasonsate strongly with from Law of One is pre-incarnation/ pre-incarnative choices set before you were born for you life and external forces help keep you on track as your free will is involved.. Major trauma would especially fall into that category set pre-life.


"Not all those who wander are lost..." J.R.R Tolkien 
I must comment on this, I still am in such awe with JRR Tolkein I really woould love to know if any authors that are similar to his level on fantasy type novels..to read as well.  Similarion book I just couldnt believe he envisioned how earth came about before its creation, gods/goddess shaping earth , the first age of elfes, second age of humans. It really is a whole world  and massive time span of history he invisioned in this work.
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Nau7ik
12-07-2017, 09:08 AM,
#4
RE: A somewhat unremarkable story
Now7ik,

Thank you for your comment and instruction.

I have not found another author, in fantasy, that can compare. In literature, Dickens was my first discovery and Anne Rice has shown the same skill. Crafting entire visions with words for these authors is magical. Ms. Rice can be controversial but that doesn't alter the fact that she is a master.

In love and light, bill

"Not all those who wander are lost..." J.R.R Tolkien
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Nau7ik
12-07-2017, 10:16 AM,
#5
RE: A somewhat unremarkable story
(12-07-2017, 09:08 AM)Billz Wrote:  Now7ik,

Thank you for your comment and instruction.

I have not found another author, in fantasy, that can compare. In literature, Dickens was my first discovery and Anne Rice has shown the same skill. Crafting entire visions with words for these authors is magical. Ms. Rice can be controversial but that doesn't alter the fact that she is a master.

In love and light, bill

Yes, I love Anne Rice! I mentioned one of her books in another thread the other day too. Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt was magical. Amazing. The compassion of Christ came alive for me during the reading of this book and I had a huge realization: I love Christ, my problem is not with Jesus, it was the church dogma. I had a disdain for Christianity and Jesus before that, but for some reason that book was “calling out to me” for me to pick it up and read it. The reading of that book was a major stepping stone for me in finding my spiritual path.

I also love the Vampire Chronicles. Rice is an amazing writer.
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12-07-2017, 10:30 AM, (This post was last modified: 12-07-2017, 10:31 AM by Billz.)
#6
RE: A somewhat unremarkable story
Now7ik:

I am glad that you have already found Ms. Rice. She is a gem. I am thankful for all these master's of the written word.

Regarding religion; it was explained to me this way:

"Religion is the organized structure that undermines all of faith, hope and love. The Word is the true message of God and Jesus. In The Word we find the manifestation of faith, hope and love."

It is my opinion that "religion" is a cult to blind the believer and enslave the faithful, binding them to worship through repetition and intolerance. I believe that true faith is based in the message Jesus came to share: Love God with all your heart, soul and mind. Love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus clearly identified these as the greatest of all commandments.

Our one infinite Creator has corroborated Jesus' instruction: Love is always the answer.

Yours in love and light...

bill

"Not all those who wander are lost..." J.R.R Tolkien
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12-07-2017, 07:44 PM,
#7
RE: A somewhat unremarkable story
(12-06-2017, 09:36 AM)Billz Wrote:  My personal awakening experience started over 50 years ago, while yet a very young child.  I never felt I belonged and as I grew through adolescence, my feelings of inadequacy and outright failing to fit in were attributed to the stereotypical teenage predilection for simply suffering through life and the associated growing pains.  I was weird and even my teenage friends knew it.  No girlfriends and no real bonding with my school aged friends.  As I passed through my teenage years, I was attracted to many of the things that my friends were interested in sports like football and karate.  However, I felt myself drawn into the philosophy of Bruce Lee instead of the mechanics of fighting.

Following high school I enlisted in military service and left home, my horizons began to open as the restrictive perception of my personal oddities were easier to hide from others.  My introverted nature became more comfortable and, try as I might, I felt disconnected at social gatherings while failing miserably at producing “small talk.” Because I was able to accept the shutting out from my piers while simultaneously seeking philosophical inspiration, I felt that I was growing and learning.  I was drawn specifically to Tai Chi, an individual form or martial arts, as well as the mystical side of that philosophy.  This will recognized much later as a pivotal point in my life, having been attracted to purchase a book of Tao Te Ching without specifically knowing why.

My search for the Truth had begun, unknown to me, and I was on a path of enlightenment that stretched out before me.  After the military service, I received what I now know to be a telepathic message of awakening in the statement, “As you dream, so shall you become.”  I couldn’t, to this day, explain how or where this “message” had come from, or why.  But it became the basis for my future study.

But, my lessons slowed to almost nothing during the middle time of my life and I almost went to back to sleep being completely enmeshed in living according to the world parameters; what became known to me as running in the “rat race.”  I was achieving all of my goals and gathering “stuff” that should have constituted success but was even less happy feeling more disconnected with the passing of each day.  

When my life fell apart as I divorced my first wife and I was shocked into my second awakening and returned to my search for the Truth.
This was my real awakening and the search began in earnest.

It is my belief that humans are “shocked” into or out of our reality by traumatic events in our lives causing us to consider or analyze our circumstances as we ask why things may have happened.  I am now forced to consider if these types of events themselves are an affectation of outside influence to cause this response…

Since that time, I have been led to find many of the truths that I have defined as my “belief system.”  The elements of my belief system have been discovered, exposed or hypothesized through introspective analysis as well as online research.  What I thought was a singular effort may have been orchestrated or led by external forces providing clues that directed my search.  I may never discover if my research has been assisted or guided and it doesn’t really matter.

I am here, I am ready and I believe.

Sounds like your ready to work. stay poised
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Nau7ik
12-08-2017, 10:38 AM,
#8
RE: A somewhat unremarkable story
(12-07-2017, 10:30 AM)Billz Wrote:  Now7ik:

I am glad that you have already found Ms. Rice. She is a gem. I am thankful for all these master's of the written word.

Regarding religion; it was explained to me this way:

"Religion is the organized structure that undermines all of faith, hope and love. The Word is the true message of God and Jesus. In The Word we find the manifestation of faith, hope and love."

It is my opinion that "religion" is a cult to blind the believer and enslave the faithful, binding them to worship through repetition and intolerance. I believe that true faith is based in the message Jesus came to share: Love God with all your heart, soul and mind. Love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus clearly identified these as the greatest of all commandments.

Our one infinite Creator has corroborated Jesus' instruction: Love is always the answer.

Yours in love and light...

bill

Definitey! That is the major point I make with Christianity as well: Jesus gave two commandments. Those two commandments encompass all of the positive laws in a loving manner. These two are the greatest and all that one needs to remember.

I feel that with religion and Church that many people miss the heart of Christ’s message. They aren’t “hearing” him. They’re taking in dogma, what to believe, what to think. The teachings of Christ are pretty radical when you have your ears and eyes open. The opening of the heart in unconditional love is consciousness transforming.
It’s just sad to see the pure teachings of Christ perverted into the opposite message of intolerance, judgment, and condemnation by some sects of Christianity. (One of the purer sects is the Episcopalians.) Very conditional “love”, which actually is not love because the only true love is unconditional. Again, that’s just my opinion.

Anyway, So glad to have you here and your brilliant insight!
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12-08-2017, 11:00 AM,
#9
RE: A somewhat unremarkable story
(12-08-2017, 10:38 AM)Nau7ik Wrote:  
(12-07-2017, 10:30 AM)Billz Wrote:  Now7ik:

I am glad that you have already found Ms. Rice. She is a gem. I am thankful for all these master's of the written word.

Regarding religion; it was explained to me this way:

"Religion is the organized structure that undermines all of faith, hope and love. The Word is the true message of God and Jesus. In The Word we find the manifestation of faith, hope and love."

It is my opinion that "religion" is a cult to blind the believer and enslave the faithful, binding them to worship through repetition and intolerance. I believe that true faith is based in the message Jesus came to share: Love God with all your heart, soul and mind. Love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus clearly identified these as the greatest of all commandments.

Our one infinite Creator has corroborated Jesus' instruction: Love is always the answer.

Yours in love and light...

bill

Definitey! That is the major point I make with Christianity as well: Jesus gave two commandments. Those two commandments encompass all of the positive laws in a loving manner. These two are the greatest and all that one needs to remember.

I feel that with religion and Church that many people miss the heart of Christ’s message. They aren’t “hearing” him. They’re taking in dogma, what to believe, what to think. The teachings of Christ are pretty radical when you have your ears and eyes open. The opening of the heart in unconditional love is consciousness transforming.
It’s just sad to see the pure teachings of Christ perverted into the opposite message of intolerance, judgment, and condemnation by some sects of Christianity. (One of the purer sects is the Episcopalians.) Very conditional “love”, which actually is not love because the only true love is unconditional. Again, that’s just my opinion.

Anyway, So glad to have you here and your brilliant insight!

Now7ik,

Thank you for you gracious compliment , but I need to point out that I am only parroting what I’ve learned and want to give credit to those teachers from whom I was blessed to have the chance to listen.

You’ve precisely identified the problem with religion as well as the complacency of most churchy type people who wish to be spoon fed their theology, complete their hour of weekly service and get out of church as quickly as possible, to return to their “regularly scheduled programming” as quickly as possible. This is the issue that disturbs me while breaking my heart. They don’t want to know.

Well, we’ll love them as they are and keep hoping that they may wake up some day to see the world for what it is, what it can be and to know the difference in having a real relationship with the Creator that Jesus was talking about in the Bible.

Until then, let’s continue working and loving them as an example.

Brother Dan used to say, you may be the only Jesus some people ever see. Let your light shine and lead them by example.

In light and love...

"Not all those who wander are lost..." J.R.R Tolkien
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12-09-2017, 10:15 AM,
#10
RE: A somewhat unremarkable story
Quote:Brother Dan used to say, you may be the only Jesus some people ever see. Let your light shine and lead them by example.

Beautiful! Thank you! Yes, I completely agree. Be the example that you wish to see in the world. I think it’s good that we are aware of and can see the pitfalls/problems of religion and dogma, but with compassionate wisdom. One doesn’t want to shut his heart to others, even when they hate us. We are all doing the best that we can. And we as positive seekers of the open heart, can BE the example of loving compassion that others may not be able to express yet, at this moment. That’s okay, for the open heart loves freely, without condition. (And who knows what effect that freely given love may have on another. Maybe this “impossible” loving is just what is needed to begin one on the journey of opening his heart. It’s my belief that love and kindness goes a long way!) I can’t say I’ve mastered the open heart at all, but I am very willing to work on love for all.
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Billz
12-14-2017, 07:25 PM, (This post was last modified: 12-14-2017, 07:28 PM by Billz.)
#11
A somewhat unremarkable story, Chapter Two
OK, next chapter, kind of...

Let me start by saying that I've been searching for the truth for years.  Literally, about 45 years of yearning to know more. I've traversed a wild landscape of the theology as well as self led-introspective analysis.  I've never meditated before; not really.  I don't even know if what I'm doing is right or correct technique.  Oh, ya, I've prayed many times but my conscious review of material and internal discussion has been all me.

No real experiences with metaphysics until very lately.  I knew what the word meant and at one point decided I should write a book titled; "Ruminations on Elementary Metaphysics/Conversations with God."  I wrote a few thousand words before I quit when I found out how crazy hard it is to actually write a book.  I still have those pages...anyway.

Almost eight weeks ago I was compelled to write out my "belief system."  I don't really know why I started this except as a form of self expression.  I had all this stuff inside me that just wanted to get out and I needed an outlet.  Well, that and also that someone presented me with a list of numbered questions from an online conversation about religion that had been completed by someone else as part of that threaded conversation.  I decided that I would "steal" the questions, delete their answers and add my own answers to the same questions.  I guess there were something like a dozen, maybe a few more.  When I made it to the end of the list, I continued to write out the remainder of my belief system that had not been addressed in the original list of questions.  Somewhere along the process of writing I was looking up references on a specific points when I discovered the RA channelings.  I finished the outline of my belief system recently after reading The Law of One (the first two books).  I had continued to add bullet points clarifying myself as it related to The Law and expanding on some points that had occurred to me earlier in my seeking for the truth.

Reading The Law of One is probably my first brush with something clearly reaching into the metaphysical in terms of the intended direction of my searching/researching.  Since finishing those first two books I went back and found a book that I had purchased and languished in my book collection since sometime in the early 1990s.  I have just finished reading Shirley MacLaine's, "Going Within."  I am shocked and awed on so many levels it's incredible!  The book is great and I highly recommend it for anyone seeking.

However, what shocks me most are the extensive number of similarities within my belief system and the content of Ms. MacLaine's book.  The comparisons are fantastically similar.  I cite different sources for my belief and she uses much more credible references, like Stephen Hawkings, but the outline is almost identical.  It's freaky scary how stinking close the works follow each other.  This afternoon, as I finished the final chapter of "Going Within," I was forced to wonder about the timeliness of reading that old book now.  Was I led to read this this specific book, after all these years since buying it?  Has some external force tired of waiting for me to examine the contents of that book?  Or, was it time for me to see that other people are working through their own methods to discover what seem to be the exact same truths?

I've never been hypnotized and am incredulous when I read of others past-life experiences.  It's not that I don't believe that they have had those experiences.  It's that I haven't yet been exposed to that specific part of my being (have been).

I am shocked and humbled by these revelations.  Just wanted to say something to someone about this experience.

"Not all those who wander are lost..." J.R.R Tolkien
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12-16-2017, 10:44 AM,
#12
RE: A somewhat unremarkable story
I think that that moment was the right moment for you to read the book. I do this a lot myself! I bookmark certain texts or videos and then come back to it later because, at the moment, I feel like “this should wait for later.” Then whenever I go back to what I had bookmarked, I realize that THIS was the right moment to read it, not before. I find that very interesting.

I believe that these synchronicities happen for a reason. You were meant to find it at that moment and not before. Your life and seeking before had prepared you for that moment.

On another note, you mentioned that you don’t really meditate. Might I suggest you begin a daily meditation practice? This will help out your seeking tremendously. I recommend meditation to everyone because everyone can benefit from it. Especially spiritual seekers. I will message you with my technique, it’s really simple. When I realized the simplicity of meditation, that was the catalyst that I used to begin a daily spiritual practice. I encourage and recommend others to start their own unique spiritual practice. Creating one yourself will have more power to it, I think. We may follow the guidelines of others but I think it best to personalize it. Everyone needs different things. No two entities are the same or need the same things.

Anyway thank you for sharing again! You’re a true sincere seeker and that is an inspiration to me Smile
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Billz
12-16-2017, 07:18 PM,
#13
RE: A somewhat unremarkable story
Nau7ik,

Thank you for your kind words. I have already begun meditation based on what I've read from The Law of One as well as well as what I've read from Going Within. I have spent hours and hours in prayer and my prayer time is somewhat different from what many would expect, so meditation is a very small leap. I have reasoned that meditation, like body-weight-exercise, can be done anywhere at almost any time since,...I'm always with me. Meditation doesn't take any equipment and I love myself enough to believe that going within is like an adventure and finding the mystery of myself will be great fun. I have completed a vast review by introspective analysis and know myself quite well; weaknesses, strengths, abilities and dark places. I find peace within and am really looking forward to meditation on a regular basis. I'm thinking of making part of my lunch a perfect time to find a quiet spot for meditation.

Anyway, thank you again for your offer of assistance. You are too kind. Be well and be blessed...

"Not all those who wander are lost..." J.R.R Tolkien
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Yesterday, 10:13 AM,
#14
RE: A somewhat unremarkable story
That’s great! You already know what you’re doing lol don’t mind me. I suggest meditation to everyone. Meditation as you say takes many different forms. One can even do meditation by taking a walk! Introspection, self analysis, to me, are forms of meditation and contemplation.

In the Buddhist Theravada tradition, there is vipassana meditation, which is insight into the true nature of reality. It’s an intensive form of meditation that is really looking at the self. You might be interested in that! I don’t exactly know how vipassana works but there is Buddhist temple in my area that practices the Theravadan tradition that I’ve been meaning to visit and talk to the monks about.
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