Silly activist starseed- "to help them all"

[1FOE*HAMMER]

Hello I remembered I was a starseed in a flashback dream, possibly a series of dreams.

The dream starts with the view of a wall of the inside of my ship, there is brown moss with white fruit growing there, I look over to my shipmate and think to him "agreed" with grim determination. He leaves around a corner, and I take a moment to thank my ship for growing the brown moss with fruit for us to eat and hope it will be ok. Then I look out the view screen and see a green and blue planet I know I've been to many times, but this might be the last time in a long time I will see it this way I'm not sure. My shipmate returns, and thinks to me "it's done, now your part" so I walk around the same corner into a darker room with a depression in the floor. A device of some sort rises out of the center of the depression and I begin my task of setting the timer/trigger. I know it will be ejected and detonate near the ship that is pursuing us and will give us time to land, or maybe crash depending how far we are from it when it goes off. Unfortunate we couldn't evade them. When I finish, I push a button and it goes back into the floor. I walk back to my shipmate, "done" I think to him. We then take a moment to remember each other, we were beautiful and strange looking to me through now human eyes. We were pale white with all black eyes and had giant eye sockets protruding to the sides almost like an elephant's ears with a face more like Spielberg's E.T. than a grey, and very long and skinny necks, such a friendly face. Then we looked out the window and waited, as the planet got bigger, and I thought to myself "to help them all"- I woke up crying over still being here.

Of course it took a long journey of self discovery to achieve the dream, but I still wonder if it really is true. I've had several dreams since then with a similar quality, sometimes I wonder if they are implanted, but even if they are I still would have to admit I'm a wanderer of some sort, from personal observations. These flashbacks are so emotional and real and physically painful in most cases, they are impossible to confuse with a mere dream.

Either I've relived several past lives in dreams in which I died violently, or its possible I was running holographic simulations on my ship, or a combo of the two. In one dream I was cut down in an alley, I had one where I fully felt what its like to blow your own brains out, once getting shot in the back as a soldier, and once being executed by mafia types. Most were still painful when I awoke, and I have a mole or mark where the wound would have been in most of them. The one that makes me question the others is where I was in a modern 90's office setting, but there were graphical glitches in the room, so I stopped the simulation to fix the holographic core because it was threatening to go critical, again, and I needed to do some maintenance on it. The holographic core was the same device I later set to overload and eject, though this time it was coming out of the floor of a second story balcony that would have been in thin air or blocking a door below if it went back down.

The other thing that has me wondering if some of the past lives were simulations or implants is that with further self discovery and looking into my family's past I realized I'm very likely a relative of mine I know a lot about, but he was never in WW1 where I remember I died being shot in the back, while zig-zagging to give my buddy a clean shot at a German soldier. Also I have no mole there I can see, and I don't really remember being shot, I woke up instead. I just knew the German couldn't miss and the emotional pain of it had me in a cold sweat and panting. I've had no dreams of my relative, but I get vivid pictures in my mind of details not listed in the known stories that I have only in print. His life's struggles and mine are also extremely similar, too much to be coincidence. I do also have his same talent set (and I look like him) but that's to be expected with genetics. The tough part for me to swallow is, he is famous, so no names, but that also makes me wonder if I'm just another wack-a-do thinking he is the reincarnation of Napoleon like they always show. (I'm not related to Napoleon lol)

I always thought having answers would solve everything, it hasn't yet though.

The part that makes me feel silly is that I can guess from Law of One information I must have been a lower 4d not just from using the physical craft, but also my reckless abandon in matters of compassion, as Ra said I will probably require much of the time/space of 5d to balance it with wisdom. So I figure I must have come here in protest like an activist, I don't think I had my peoples approval, or if I did it was in spirit only at the time. I have been shown in other oddly intense but otherwise normal dreams that because I sneaked in the back door unprepared I'm here only with my shipmate not my twin flame, she is not here. Everyone else made proper reservations and came in with their twin flame, I'm not alone but romance here can only ever be temporary. I just want to visit home again at least, but I fear I am tainted by the whirlwind of karma I've been swept away in since then. I often feel like Tarzan these days.

[Spaced]

Thank you for sharing your story! I'm glad you are at the point now where you are able to remember who you are and why you came here.

I can relate a lot to what you say about remembering past lives. I've had some similar experiences myself where I have remembered violent deaths which seem to match up with birthmarks or moles. I also struggle with the validity of these memories. I'm not too attached to them being "real" or not, the way I see it even if it's just my imagination it is giving me a peek into the unconscious aspects of my personality and that can be useful in the ongoing process of coming to know yourself.

Welcome to Bring4th.

[Nau7ik]

Amazing dreams! I think that memories of past lives bleed through into our dreams. Along with the veil of forgetting of third density, they can be confusing. But it sounds to me that you're understanding that you're here for a purpose, a mission. And that realization is wonderful!

Also, I'm interested in strange birthmarks because of what you've said. Some of your dreams and experiences raises questions for my own. I have a birthmark on my chest near my heart, it covers about 2/3rds of my nipple. I wonder if it was a gun shot wound from a previous lifetime?

Do fatal wounds from previous lifetimes manifest as birthmakes in later incarnations? I remember Q'uo talking about cellular memory that is carried through lifetimes.

Anyway, thank you for your interesting story. We are glad to welcome you

[isis]

http://www.theepochtimes.com/n3/681034-3...n-of-body/

"He was born with a long, red birthmark on his head. The Druze believe, as some other cultures do, that birthmarks are related to past-life deaths. When the boy was old enough to talk, he told his family he had been killed by a blow to the head with an axe."

[1FOE*HAMMER]

Thanks for the replies. The info about birthmarks I heard my friend say it once, and it was a total epiphany for me. He had been researching the topic, run across the information about a link, and it lined up with a dream he'd had too.

There is more about that from other selves in my experience, some of which are self proclaimed service-to-self types, though who but Creator Source truly knows about the orientation of any other self? However, I hesitate to share it for multiple reasons. I can say I was told of another life I have ample reason to think might be true which lines up with the same idea, violent death marked by a mole, in this case its almost like some kind of etheric bullet is still lodged in there even between lives. Plus the trauma repeated in my current life, in a different way, almost same result visually, I feel like it may have been a reverberation, but thankfully it was diminished this time and I lived to tell the tale. I'm hoping not to be revisited next time since I may have "figured it out" so to speak. If not I'm thankful it seems to be diminishing, lol it MIGHT not even hurt IF it revisits next time. (It won't)

I was also just reading how current ailments relate to your emotional state, and can offer clues for areas to work on. The older I get the more apparent the folly of the idea of coincidence becomes. I don't care much about my physical appearance normally, but I wonder if removing moles might actually have a positive effect on the other bodies. Maybe it would, I guess it's all in the intent and method. Though in looking at the photos of the real faces of real Humans who have achieved the rainbow body, I see MANY moles and blemish's and they are still beautiful people.

[AnthroHeart]

I have a mole too on my left shoulder. It doesn't hurt though.
Might cost too much to remove it. It's not causing any problems.

[1FOE*HAMMER]

Considering catalyst is meant to teach, and the effect of it varies as much as people do, I think any carefully considered decision you make will be beneficial in one way or another. All serves the Creator Source.

After thinking about all this and while I was reading Law of One, in Carla's notes I read something that really seems appropriate here. I'll never find the quote but the gist of it was this: Unless the issue at hand will still be relevant 10,000 years from now the higher confederation type of beings probably aren't very concerned with it. Those on the inner planes of Earth are the ones slightly more concerned with day to day details. The message being don't loose the bigger picture, that's the direction we need to go. What rings in my ears is : "The devil is in the details"

NOT that everyone on the inner planes are the devil, of course, but if we strive to be like our most advanced other selves, its the big issues we need to address. Before this came to mind, I was always frustrated with myself for not being good at details. Helps me see I'm at least going in the general direction I need to.