Unresolved Self

[ada]

[Edited]

[Stranger]

Papercut, there are a couple of possibilities. One is that this is a nightmare, reflective of some sort of distress, anxiety or trauma. Although this may not be the "cool" explanation, I think it's important to consider this possibility as well as others. With that in mind, how is your "waking" life going?

At the same time, the experiences you've described reminded me quite strongly of accounts found in Dolores Cannon's "Convoluted Universe" books. Have you read any of them? She has many hypnosis subjects who come in with unexplained experiences, including strange experiences at night, and discover they are actually very busy at night, while the body is asleep, working with non-Earth beings in various ways. Some of these are not necessarily what you'd call pleasant experiences, but all are, reportedly, what the human agreed to participate in prior to the incarnation, in the service of a higher purpose.

Finally, have you considered asking the part of you that knows exactly what is happening about it? Many ways to do so. The obvious one given the preceding paragraph would be a QHHT session. This is Dolores Cannon's hypnosis technique. Sadly she herself has passed on, but there are trained practitioners you can locate on the web. I've never had a QHHT session so cannot speak about the quality or experience - maybe others here can.

More directly, if you meditate you can bring to mind a recent "dream", ask about its nature and just listen. Pretend your Higher Self, who knows all your experiences past and future, is there with you, and simply ask him or her. Perhaps write down whatever words or concepts pop into your mind, without filtering. Don't forget to take whatever you receive with a grain of salt, as one always should.

Whatever the explanation for the phenomena you describe, it seems to have succeeded in at least one important way - waking you up from the 3D dream. (More accurately, I'd say, awakening makes it a lucid dream - we're still dreaming until we die, but at least we now know we're dreaming and don't have to continue taking it as seriously or blindly following the dream narrative). Now that you've awakened, how has that affected your daily life?

[ada]

Thank you for the response Stranger.
I am very interested in this QHHT session.

I cannot speak of my meditation here as I strongly feel it will be rejected.

I'm more dedicated to the self, emotional pain is merely a thought. Everything became synchronized.
All my needs are gone, I seek nothing but light and love. That is the only sensation my self truly wants.
And an unexplained empathy towards others.

However my journey hasn't ended, I wish to know the entity that visited me. Therefore, I am here.

[Stranger]

I understand your concern, but we don't reject much here. We may disagree with something, but everyone has their own path and we as a community tend to be very supportive of each other's efforts to navigate this crazy dream.

[ada]

Too much negativity is involved.

[Jade]

I'm more dedicated to the self, emotional pain is merely a thought. Everything became synchronized.
All my needs are gone, I seek nothing but light and love. That is the only sensation my self truly wants.
And an unexplained empathy towards others.

Hi Papercut. Have you read all of the Law of One?

What you desire is possible - seeking light and love with the desire of empathy towards others. It's not an easy path but I would argue it's an easier one, and it gets easier as you go.

The Law of One specifically delineates the processes where one can slowly begin to 'penetrate the veil' and begin to see 'the truth', the truth being unconditional love and acceptance for all. It takes many acts of will, many choices towards love in the moment, repeated with focus, but eventually, like everything else, it becomes more habitual than anything.

If I were you, I would pray before bed. I would ask for my higher self to protect me.

[ada]

Thank you for the response Jade.

The Law of One brought me here, my inner self told me that I might find who I seek.

I pray to my higher self every time before meditation.
The problem is the the distortion of negative polarity.

[GentleWanderer]

______

[ada]

Papercut if i understand well your story, the entity you saw with green eyes
was in the "real" world and not in your dream ?

GentleWanderer, thank you for your response.
You are correct.

[Minyatur]

Too much negativity is involved.

How is this negativity triggered and expressed?

[ada]

Thank you for the response Minyatur.

As I stated above, it is triggered by meditation. I am not sure I should discuss this specific issue due to rejection/disagreement.

[GentleWanderer]

______

[ada]

Something in your story reminds me of what i've read. When Mikhael Aivanhov
was young he was practising some concentration methods and had acquired a
very powerful mind. To test his abilities he started to do some experience where
he could control some people just by telepathy, like make someone remove his hat,
or make someone get out of a bench. He said he had no negative intention but
just wanted to do some experiment.

One night while in his bed, he woke up and saw two entities. One was beautiful,
powerful but entirely devoid of love. The other was also beautiful, noble and was
very loving. Aivanhov said that this event pushed him to make a choice between light
and dark. Of course he choose the light.

In my younger years I always prefered darkness over light. As everything that happened to me was negative, I accepted this negativity and let it empower me.
However, I choose light now. But there is no one left to guide me. And it won't go away.

[Minyatur]

Thank you for the response Minyatur.

As I stated above, it is triggered by meditation. I am not sure I should discuss this specific issue due to rejection/disagreement.

Well then I guess that whatever it is, the energy need to be transmuted from it's roots.

[ada]

Thank you for the response Minyatur.

As I stated above, it is triggered by meditation. I am not sure I should discuss this specific issue due to rejection/disagreement.

Well then I guess that whatever it is, the energy need to be transmuted from it's roots.

Could you please explain what you mean by that?

[Minyatur]

Thank you for the response Minyatur.

As I stated above, it is triggered by meditation. I am not sure I should discuss this specific issue due to rejection/disagreement.

Well then I guess that whatever it is, the energy need to be transmuted from it's roots.

Could you please explain what you mean by that?

Well in my understanding, negativity is not something that disappears and vanishes away. It is polarized love that can be transmuted back in it's opposite polarity.

What I see as the core teaching of the STO path is acceptance. To transmute darkness you need to distill the love/light and light/love from within this darkness and by doing so you find within yourself to accept and love this darkness for what it is and what it was. By doing this, nothing is overcome and what is not needed falls away of itself.

[ada]

Thank you for the response Minyatur.

As I stated above, it is triggered by meditation. I am not sure I should discuss this specific issue due to rejection/disagreement.

Well then I guess that whatever it is, the energy need to be transmuted from it's roots.

Could you please explain what you mean by that?

Well in my understanding, negativity is not something that disappears and vanishes away. It is polarized love that can be transmuted back in it's opposite polarity.

What I see as the core teaching of the STO path is acceptance. To transmute darkness you need to distill the love/light and light/love from within this darkness and by doing so you find within yourself to accept and love this darkness for what it is and what it was. By doing this, nothing is overcome and what is not needed falls away of itself.

You do not understand.
I accept everything for what is, existence's all the same no matter how different.
You need to try and gap the severity of this. I am not suffering, I am not afraid nor I am able to do anything beyond to my ability about this.
There is another mind/spirit/thought/being with its own awareness. That is what I mean by "negativity".

[GentleWanderer]

_____

[ada]

You do not understand.
I accept everything for what is, existence's all the same no matter how different.
You need to try and gap the severity of this. I am not suffering, I am not afraid nor I am able to do anything beyond to my ability about this.
There is another mind/spirit/thought/being with its own awareness. That is what I mean by "negativity".

Do you mean that there may be an other entity/consciousness in you ?

Not precisely, I am in my own control/thought.
There's something else in what I can describe a parallel window/reality that collides with my own whenever I meditate.

[Minyatur]

You do not understand.
I accept everything for what is, existence's all the same no matter how different.
You need to try and gap the severity of this. I am not suffering, I am not afraid nor I am able to do anything beyond to my ability about this.
There is another mind/spirit/thought/being with its own awareness. That is what I mean by "negativity".

Do you mean that there may be an other entity/consciousness in you ?

Not precisely, I am in my own control/thought.
There's something else in what I can describe a parallel window/reality that collides with my own whenever I meditate.

I don't think this happens for no reason as this would require resonance between you and that other-thing. But the reasons relate to you and so you have their roots to uncover within your unconscious.

[ada]

You do not understand.
I accept everything for what is, existence's all the same no matter how different.
You need to try and gap the severity of this. I am not suffering, I am not afraid nor I am able to do anything beyond to my ability about this.
There is another mind/spirit/thought/being with its own awareness. That is what I mean by "negativity".

Do you mean that there may be an other entity/consciousness in you ?

Not precisely, I am in my own control/thought.
There's something else in what I can describe a parallel window/reality that collides with my own whenever I meditate.

I don't think this happens for no reason as this would require resonance between you and that other-thing. But the reasons relate to you and so you have their roots to uncover within your unconscious.

What is reason?
I'm apologize as we aren't on the same line of thought, therefore I ask to put this conversation aside.

[Fastidious Emanations]

You do not understand.
I accept everything for what is, existence's all the same no matter how different.
You need to try and gap the severity of this. I am not suffering, I am not afraid nor I am able to do anything beyond to my ability about this.
There is another mind/spirit/thought/being with its own awareness. That is what I mean by "negativity".

Do you mean that there may be an other entity/consciousness in you ?

Not precisely, I am in my own control/thought.
There's something else in what I can describe a parallel window/reality that collides with my own whenever I meditate.

do you ever think about him/her when not meditation?

[Stranger]

Papercut, this I (and Carla) found to be a very effective response against any negative contact attempts:

Bathe the source of the contact in love.

It has been my direct experience that negative emotions open us up to unpleasant contact, whereas maintaining a loving and kind disposition throughout the day is the most effective protection.

I have never had a negative contact persist after I responded by creating in me a mental/emotional state as if giving him/her a warm and loving hug.

[ada]

You do not understand.
I accept everything for what is, existence's all the same no matter how different.
You need to try and gap the severity of this. I am not suffering, I am not afraid nor I am able to do anything beyond to my ability about this.
There is another mind/spirit/thought/being with its own awareness. That is what I mean by "negativity".

Do you mean that there may be an other entity/consciousness in you ?

Not precisely, I am in my own control/thought.
There's something else in what I can describe a parallel window/reality that collides with my own whenever I meditate.

do you ever think about him/her when not meditation?

Barely at all.
The thought/idea of it's Existence is a mind of it's own. It's there, I just can't sense that.

Papercut, this I (and Carla) found to be a very effective response against any negative contact attempts:

Bathe the source of the contact in love.

It has been my direct experience that negative emotions open us up to unpleasant contact, whereas maintaining a loving and kind disposition throughout the day is the most effective protection.  

I have never had a negative contact persist after I responded by creating in me a mental/emotional state as if giving him/her a warm and loving hug.

Thank you both for this response I found a lot of love in your words.
I'm really starting to feel positive about this, as no harm comes as I meditate and listen carefully to its Existence when it desires to.

[Minyatur]

Why do you think it tells you to not be afraid yet seems to hold you in a way you don't seem to appreciate?

Did you have any insights as to what that entity is and why it interacts with you as it does? What it's goal is?

[Jade]

Thank you for the response Jade.

The Law of One brought me here, my inner self told me that I might find who I seek.

I pray to my higher self every time before meditation.
The problem is the the distortion of negative polarity.

The "distortion of the negative polarity" only has as much power as you let it. You are a sovereign being. If you pray to your higher self while believing that it can't help you, well, there's no way for your higher self to get around that belief system you have in place, because you are using your free will to make it powerless.

You have just as much power as your 'friend', actually way more when it comes to affecting your own being. What hurts you is your panic, and that is what is being exploited. It's like when Carla had a blue-ray blockage, and her negative friend exploited it while she was out for a walk and she had an asthma attack, and Ra said if she would have panicked it could have been lethal.

96.2 Questioner: Could you tell me the cause of the lessening of the physical and vital energies?

Ra: I am Ra. We found the need of examining the mental configurations of the instrument before framing an answer due to our reluctance to infringe upon its free will. Those concepts relating to the spiritual contemplation of personal catalyst have been appreciated by the entity so we may proceed.

This entity has an habitual attitude which is singular; that is, when there is some necessity for action the entity is accustomed to analyzing the catalyst in terms of service and determining a course. There was a most unusual variation in this configuration of attitude when this instrument beheld the dwelling which is to be inhabited by this group. The instrument perceived those elementals and beings of astral character of which we have spoken. The instrument desired to be of service by achieving the domicile in question but found its instincts reacting to the unwelcome presences. The division of mind configuration was increased by the continuing catalyst of lack of control. Had this entity been able to physically begin cleansing the dwelling the, shall we say, opening would not have occurred.

Although this entity attempted clear communication upon this matter, and although each in the support group did likewise, the amount of blue-ray work necessary to uncover and grasp the nature of the catalyst was not effected. Therefore, there was an opening, quite rare for this mind/body/spirit complex, and into this opening the one which greets you moved and performed what may be considered to be the most potent of its purely magical manifestations to this present nexus, as you know time.

It is well that this instrument is not distorted towards what you may call hysteria, for the potential of this working was such that had the instrument allowed fear to become greater than the will to persevere when it could not breathe, each attempt at respiration would have been even more nearly impossible until the suffocation occurred which was desired by the one which greets you in its own way. Thus the entity would have passed from this incarnation.

....

98.5 Questioner: I have a question from the instrument. She states: “Could Ra tell us what factors are allowing our fifth-density, negative companion to be able to continue greeting the instrument in the throat area as well as with other unusual sensations such as dizziness, smelling of orange blossoms, the feeling of stepping on imaginary creatures, and what can be done to lessen these greetings? And why the greetings occur on walks?”

Ra: I am Ra. There are various portions of the query. We shall attempt answer to each. We tread close to the Law of Confusion, saved only by the awareness that given lack of information this instrument would, nonetheless, continue to offer its service.

The working of your fifth-density companion, which still affects the instrument, was, as we have stated, a potent working. The totality of those biases which offer to the instrument opportunities for increased vital and physical strength, shall we say, were touched by the working. The blue-ray difficulties were not entirely at an end after the first asking. Again, this group experienced blockage rare for the group; that is, the blue-ray blockage of unclear communication. By this means the efficacy of the working was reinforced.

The potential of this working is significant. The physical exercising, the sacred music, the varieties of experience, and indeed simple social intercourse are jeopardized by a working which attempts to close the throat and the mouth. It is to be noted that there is also the potential for the loss of this contact.

We suggest that the instrument’s allergies create a continuous means whereby the distortion created by the magical working may be continued. As we have stated, it shall be necessary, in order to remove the working, to completely remove the distortion within the throat area caused by this working. The continuous aggravation of allergic reactions makes this challenging.

The orange blossom is the odor which you may associate with the social memory complex of fifth-density positive which is known to you as sound vibration, Latwii. This entity was with the instrument as requested by the instrument. The odor was perceived due to the quite sensitive nature of the instrument due, again, to its, shall we say, acme in the eighteen-day cycle.

The sensation of stepping upon the small animal and killing it was a greeting from your fifth-density, negative companion also made possible by the above circumstance.

As to the removal of the effects of the magical working, we may make two suggestions, one immediate and one general. Firstly, within the body of knowledge which those healers known among your peoples as medical doctors have is the use of harsh chemical substances which you call medicine. These substances almost invariably cause far more changes than are intended in the mind/body/spirit complex. However, in this instance the steroids or, alternately, the antibiotic family might be useful in the complete removal of the difficulty within which the working is still able to thrive. Of course, the allergies would persist after this course of medicine were ended, but the effects of the working would no longer come into play.

The one you call Jerome might well be of aid in this somewhat unorthodox medical situation. As allergies are quite misunderstood by your orthodox healers, it would be inappropriate to subject the instrument to the services of your medical doctors which find the amelioration of allergic effects to be connected with the intake of these same toxins in milder form. This, shall we say, treats, the symptom. However, the changes offered to the body complex are quite inadvisable. The allergy may be seen to be the rejection upon a deep level of the mind complex of the environment of the mind/body/spirit complex. Thus the allergy may be seen in its pure form as the mental/emotional distortion of the deeper self.

The more general recommendation lies with one which does not wish to be identified. There is a code name prayer wheel. We suggest ten treatments from this healer and further suggest a clear reading and subsequent following, upon the part of the instrument, of the priorities of allergy, especially to your foodstuffs.

Lastly, the effects of the working become apparent upon the walking when the body complex has begun to exert itself to the point of increased respiration. Also a contributing factor is the number of your second-density substances to which this instrument is allergic.

Your blockage appears to be rooted in fear, so starting with red and likely involving orange, fear of the self, and fear of losing the self and/or body complex, be it to death or to the grips of another entity. If you can learn to trust in yourself and believe in love, you will completely eliminate its power.

[ada]

I am misunderstood time by time and this is starting to become a bit frustrating.

Thank you for the analyzed response Jade. However I have been through all the Ra material.
I was afraid of such things when I was a teen, I am 22 years old now.
Fear is not real, I can sit in the middle of the graveyard at night and be completely calm. Please understand that fear/unacceptance/death/trust is not the issue any more.
I take it to my fault for confusing everything, I don't know anything about "it". "it" has it's own choices, It's not always here. It's not always active, but sometimes when I meditate "it" lets me know that it's around. This does not bother me what so ever.

Why do you think it tells you to not be afraid yet seems to hold you in a way you don't seem to appreciate?

Did you have any insights as to what that entity is and why it interacts with you as it does? What it's goal is?

Back when I had those dream the voice was telepathic.

Nothing.

[Fastidious Emanations]

perhaps it stands so tall, because it seeks your reverence / respect/ acknowledgement?
Can you imagine that it is possible such an experience is being sought by both parties?
You mentioned green glowing eyes.
Is there 'love' behind these eyes?
How does the paradox resolve in this situation where one would hold on so tight to 'another' self in the pretext of love, or in your case be held by.
Thank you very much for sharing, I am learning compassion.
Peacefulness dear friend.

[ada]

perhaps it stands so tall, because it seeks your reverence / respect/ acknowledgement?
Can you imagine that it is possible such an experience is being sought by both parties?
You mentioned green glowing eyes.
Is there 'love' behind these eyes?
How does the paradox resolve in this situation where one would hold on so tight to 'another' self in the pretext of love, or in your case be held by.
Thank you very much for sharing, I am learning compassion.
Peacefulness dear friend.

You are most welcomed.

And yes, this is highly possible that this is sought by both sides.
As a teen I have always wondered if there is anything more to life. I've looked in the stars and prayed for a sign, anything at all.
But when you're in such situation, alone with something that powerful. It takes your breath away literally, I was unable to breathe due to me being frightened.
Again I must mention that this was 4 years ago, I would not react the same way as I did.
Furthermore, it's impossible to assume that this is the same entity that I am experiencing when I meditate. There is no knowing

[Jade]

I am misunderstood time by time and this is starting to become a bit frustrating.

Thank you for the analyzed response Jade. However I have been through all the Ra material.
I was afraid of such things when I was a teen, I am 22 years old now.
Fear is not real, I can sit in the middle of the graveyard at night and be completely calm. Please understand that fear/unacceptance/death/trust is not the issue any more.
I take it to my fault for confusing everything, I don't know anything about "it". "it" has it's own choices, It's not always here. It's not always active, but sometimes when I meditate "it" lets me know that it's around. This does not bother me what so ever.

I'm sorry if I was presumptuous, I would not put that on any fault of your own. Communication on a deep level often takes a period of time, especially when entities don't know each other well. The combined powers of the forum, however, have infinite patience for you to attempt to clarify yourself so that you do feel understood, if you so desire.