I experience it regularly.
I feel like everyone does, to one extent or another but they just attribute alot of it to their own behaviour.
The 4D entities "set us up" with thoughts and then the 5D ones come in and emotionalize them. Then when we're in negative time/space, they have full control of our thoughts and emotions. That's why we get gaps in our memory. The higher self is reluctant to enter that space, resulting in experiences that will be remembered by a distorted part of us, I feel. It's hard to see anything outside of what you're feeling because there are hurt parts of you, that they kind of "hide in". That hurt part of you doesn't want to be healed most of the time as this will lead to it's perceived "death".
When I'm in that place, I can't see any light and they bombard me with suicidal thoughts.
It's not that I don't have any memory of the experience. It's more that I'm not really all me. It depends on how much of a hold they gain too.
I feel like I've got a whole platoon working on me, with the General who comes in and torments me.
It's in these moments that I can't really see any light and it doesn't matter who you are, I won't respond. I feel that this some residual "Maldek" or "Martian" energy.
I feel like a hybrid. My Father was full blood Maori descended from Chiefs and Priests. His Father was the one who welcomed the queen of england to Auckland in the 50's. My mother's parents are English/Irish/Scottish...Grandfather was 6'5" nephilim lol
Indigenous and colonizing.
My job is to balance all the cannibalism, Orion worship and other actions...my great uncle was the minister of defense in 1945 and sent the whole country to war.
I've been told that there is a curse on the male line of my family...every one of my male cousins on my Dads side have these issues.
I don't believe in the terminology but it's definitely a darkness that makes me want to turn into an atomic bomb and destroy the earth so that not only will I be destroyed but everyone who exists on the planet. That way there will be no living memory of the hurt I want to wipe out.
There is a balance though.
I have intense moments of perfect understanding.
I came here to do a job n this drama comes with it. Without the dark, there's no opportunity for light and other cliched s***.
So my partner and I are using the offers of negativity. We tell them thankyou...thankyou for being who you are, which enables us to do what we do and that even though they think they're destroying me, they're doing the creators work. Must be frustrating as a muthafucka for them lol...tryna attack and destroy and all they're doing is unknowingly helping the creator evolve and turn super saiyan.
I feel like everyone does, to one extent or another but they just attribute alot of it to their own behaviour.
The 4D entities "set us up" with thoughts and then the 5D ones come in and emotionalize them. Then when we're in negative time/space, they have full control of our thoughts and emotions. That's why we get gaps in our memory. The higher self is reluctant to enter that space, resulting in experiences that will be remembered by a distorted part of us, I feel. It's hard to see anything outside of what you're feeling because there are hurt parts of you, that they kind of "hide in". That hurt part of you doesn't want to be healed most of the time as this will lead to it's perceived "death".
When I'm in that place, I can't see any light and they bombard me with suicidal thoughts.
It's not that I don't have any memory of the experience. It's more that I'm not really all me. It depends on how much of a hold they gain too.
I feel like I've got a whole platoon working on me, with the General who comes in and torments me.
It's in these moments that I can't really see any light and it doesn't matter who you are, I won't respond. I feel that this some residual "Maldek" or "Martian" energy.
I feel like a hybrid. My Father was full blood Maori descended from Chiefs and Priests. His Father was the one who welcomed the queen of england to Auckland in the 50's. My mother's parents are English/Irish/Scottish...Grandfather was 6'5" nephilim lol
Indigenous and colonizing.
My job is to balance all the cannibalism, Orion worship and other actions...my great uncle was the minister of defense in 1945 and sent the whole country to war.
I've been told that there is a curse on the male line of my family...every one of my male cousins on my Dads side have these issues.
I don't believe in the terminology but it's definitely a darkness that makes me want to turn into an atomic bomb and destroy the earth so that not only will I be destroyed but everyone who exists on the planet. That way there will be no living memory of the hurt I want to wipe out.
There is a balance though.
I have intense moments of perfect understanding.
I came here to do a job n this drama comes with it. Without the dark, there's no opportunity for light and other cliched s***.
So my partner and I are using the offers of negativity. We tell them thankyou...thankyou for being who you are, which enables us to do what we do and that even though they think they're destroying me, they're doing the creators work. Must be frustrating as a muthafucka for them lol...tryna attack and destroy and all they're doing is unknowingly helping the creator evolve and turn super saiyan.