Advice on feelings of annoyance

[colorado]

Hi,

I was just posting to see what you guys think about some strong negative emotions I have always struggled with my entire life and have been more pronounced recently. I am visiting my mother for christmas, and I have been having very strong emotional responses to things my mother and her friends say and do in the form of annoyance. The feelings tend to consume me. My mother is not someone who I would think of as especially intelligent, and says things that I think are very "stupid". I do not want to be bothered by these comments, but I find anger and annoyance welling up inside of me when she says these things. Her friends do similar things that annoy me. I am worried by these emotions, because it reminds me of a state I was in before I started reading the Law of One and meditating. Before I did these things, I would see "stupid people" all throughout society and laugh at them and think I was better than them because of this perceived lack of intellect. However, in the last four months I have made strides to overcome these feelings in my attempt to see others as an other-self, and these feelings seem to be a regression back to my old outlook.

I suspect the source of these emotions is an unbalance. I have recently been thinking that I may have an overabundance of knowledge or wisdom (is there a difference according to the Law of One material?) with a lack of love. It reminds me of the Q'uo channeling that talks about the difficulty of going from head to heart, rather than the more usual path of heart to head.

I was just wondering what you guys do when you have emotions that you do not approve of. I suppose I should meditate on them, but I was just wondering if anyone had specific suggestions as to the type of meditation I should perform.

Thanks for reading.

[Peregrinus]

46.7 Ra: Control is the key to negatively polarized use of catalyst. Acceptance is the key to positively polarized use of catalyst. Between these polarities lies the potential for this random and undirected energy creating a bodily complex analog of what you call the cancerous growth of tissue.

Hi Colorado,

Frustration/ anger is a choice.

It is your choice to accept, control, or suffer. That's as clear as I can say it.

Accepting that not everyone is the same is part of it. Somewhere in this mix is your ego. Perhaps consider that if you were in a room of mensa people, and they became angry at you because what they considered what you were saying was below their intelligence; would that be right? Would that be fair to you to treat you with disrespect just because you were born with a different IQ than they?

Or should they treat you the same as them because you are, after all, a human being with feelings and emotions too?

Being too intelligent or unintelligent has its good and bad points. Acceptance is how I deal with it. I simply love everyone for being on their own path.

I hope this helps.

[colorado]

46.7 Ra: Control is the key to negatively polarized use of catalyst. Acceptance is the key to positively polarized use of catalyst. Between these polarities lies the potential for this random and undirected energy creating a bodily complex analog of what you call the cancerous growth of tissue.

Hi Colorado,

It is your choice to accept, control, or suffer. That's as clear as I can say it.

I hope this helps.

It does.

Thank you.

[Aaron]

I think I am seeing two problems here. Correct me if I'm wrong, and I'm not trying to play Mr. Psychologist here, but this is the conclusion I'm drawing from your post.

You seem to be disturbed by a lack of understanding of the actions of those less awakened. And you seem to be disturbed by a lack of acceptance to your own reaction to the actions.

Does that hit pretty close to the mark? Even though you have come across the LOO and have started to awaken, or realized that you are on the path as I like to say, that doesn't mean that you will be a master of or will be unaffected by catalyst. Actions and reactions still exist. You are right in the middle of yin and yang. You're just fortunate enough to be aware of it! So, these actions and reactions are observed by you, and you have the choice to polarize them positively or negatively.

Some exercises I would offer:

1. When your mother or other people say stupid things, try to realize that they are experiencing exactly what they are supposed to be experiencing in the moment for them to learn.

They have a special opportunity now that you are awakening. They now have the opportunity to be led into a higher state of consciousness by you! Now that you can observe your reaction to the action and choose to react from a higher place than your annoyed ego, they are able to see a conscious reaction to an unconscious action and learn in a new way. The universe is making you a teacher.

2. When you feel annoyed by the way they're acting, try to look inside yourself and ask which part of you is annoyed. Go from bottom to top till you find it: Is this situation life-threatening to me? (red) Am I having trouble allowing my true emotions to be shown in this situation? (orange) Are my relationships with these people suffering in this situation? (yellow) Am I unable to unconditionally love/accept this situation? (green) Am I unable to communicate effectively in this situation? (blue) Am I unable to understand this situation fully? (indigo) Am I unable to remain present in this situation? (violet) Am I whole in this situation? (approaching white) When you find the problem, the answers to all the other "color questions" above it will be "no". Whatever reaction you had/have, learn from it. Find the unconscious part of you that reacted that way and accept it. The next time the situation or a similar one arises, the new acceptance inside will lead to new acceptance outside.

I was feeling similar (like I had no problems being conscious in most situations and feeling wisdom flowing from me in most situations) until about last week when my heart chakra started opening more. Up until then, I didn't realize how powerful the feelings of true love and acceptance were, and now I see how the Buddha was always portrayed as so joyous. In fact, I'm almost scaring myself at how much I feel love/acceptance towards everyone now. But ah well, you have to explore both sides for balance I guess.

I would say what I did to open green that you can do also is to ask yourself with each person you see: "What is stopping me from loving this person unconditionally?" whether the person is old or young, male or female, family or stranger. I think this is similar to the balancing exercises talked about by Ra, and it's amazing how effective they are.

Hope this helps you.

[colorado]

Accepting that not everyone is the same is part of it. Somewhere in this mix is your ego. Perhaps consider that if you were in a room of mensa people, and they became angry at you because what they considered what you were saying was below their intelligence; would that be right? Would that be fair to you to treat you with disrespect just because you were born with a different IQ than they?

You are right. This is what was so upsetting to me. I was feeling those emotions, but was also thinking of how unfair it was to feel those emotions.

And Aaron, thanks for the great post! I will be sure to incorporate these exercises into my everyday life.

[ayadew]

Hello colorado. This is some old, unforgived energy you're feeling. One that you've placed behind you, left behind, but that's coming back.. you can't flee from yourself! I felt a lot of that when I was visiting my parents this Christmas. Great catalyst isn't it..

We have an incredible complexity in our feelings, and it might take a long time to plumb the depths of these and forgive your mother/her friends. But when you do, ah, I can assure you, it'll be so very much worth it.

[colorado]

Yeah, it really is good catalyst, ayadew.

In fact, this morning, my mother was saying things that I thought were not very intelligent or well thought out, and I felt those intense feelings of frustration building up. I took Aaron's advice, thought to myself why I wasn't loving this person unconditionally, examined this part of me, accepted the feelings, and then was even able to accept my mother's comments. By the end of the exercise, I was thankful of my mother for saying those things for it gave me the opportunity to examine this small part of me and (temporarily I suppose) accept/overcome it. It was a great feeling.

[Peregrinus]

There is but only one true emotion, one true feeling, and that is LOVE. This is the one emotion which we have no control over, for we are love, and love we are, and that is truth.

EVERY other emotion is a choice of free will. When you make this realization, and come to comprehend it fully, every time an emotion comes to you, you may consciously choose to accept it, allowing yourself to fully deal with the emotion. Feel it, prolong it, get in touch with this emotion. You may then come to the realization that the emotion is not truth. This is the first part in a two part process, and need only be done until full realization is made. Once you have come to this full realization, you may then choose to continually replace the false emotion with the one real emotion, love, each time the false emotion arises. This takes a conscious effort and awareness, and becomes easier and easier over time.

Soon, as you have learned to consistently replace the false emotions with love, all you will feel is love, and what used to upset you will bring you joy. This is the most effective use of catalyst which leads to the path of least distortion. This is desired

[ayadew]

Great job colorado, now do it everytime you feel something negative and you'll soon be a lighthouse of pure love

Too true peregrinus!

[Monica]

I felt those intense feelings of frustration building up. I took Aaron's advice, thought to myself why I wasn't loving this person unconditionally, examined this part of me, accepted the feelings, and then was even able to accept my mother's comments.

Wonderful! Sounds like you had a breakthru!

There has already been a lot of great advice given.

I can relate to your challenge, though for me it's not so much less intelligent people that I get frustrated with, but those who are narrow-minded. I know that people don't have much control over how intelligent they are, so I tend to view 'stupid' comments the way I might view the comments of a child. You'd expect a child to act like, well, like a child, right? Spiritually and intellectually, we're in a 1-room schoolhouse, essentially.

But narrow-mindedness, ah, that one I struggle with, because it seems so intentional. I have a difficult time loving unconditionally when someone closes their mind to something they know nothing about, or totally twists something, or refuses to even consider another point of view. And yet even that must be accepted, loved, and forgiven! What helps me is to remember that there is probably fear lurking at the root of their blockage of new ideas.

The obvious isms like racism and sexism are easy to spot; less so the other isms like looksism, speciesism, intellectualism, and, what do you call the one I struggle with? The one regarding closed-mindedness? I don't know the word for that! They're all the same in that they offer an opportunity for separation because the person is different from us, and maybe doesn't live up to our expectations or ideals. They're all the same in that they offer an opportunity for us to accept, forgive, and love.

In the case of intellectualism, (which is one I've experienced on both the giving end and the receiving end), we have Ra as our role model. Don frequently expressed embarrassment and self-consciousness for not understanding Ra's explanations, and for asking 'stupid' questions. And yet, Ra was entirely patient, loving and forgiving. We are younger siblings so we're expected to not understand as fully as Ra would. Likewise, many of our other-selves might be younger siblings, in certain respects (though not in others).

Your mother might have a lesser intellectual capacity than you because she might be a younger soul. Or, she might be an older soul who chose a limited intellectual capacity this time around, in order to focus on certain lessons. She might actually be your elder on issues like compassion, kindness, or whatever. Notice how Ra always said 'teach/learn' never just teach by itself. You are never just the teacher. You are always the student as well.

It might help to ask yourself: What can you learn from your mom? In what way is she your elder? This can be humbling. Look for her strengths and gifts. A strong intellect isn't one of them, but surely there are other areas in which she is blessed or gifted, and can teach you. It might help to turn the tables on this dynamic. Who knows, she might even be frustrated with you regarding other personality quirks!

As was just mentioned in a previous post, the key is to choose to find the love in the present moment. Making the choice to seek out her strengths might help to do that.

Another technique that has helped me a lot was one given by Q'uo, and I have been trying to find that session for awhile, so if anyone knows which one I'm referring to, please tell me! It had to do with feeling the negative emotion, focusing on it, then pulling it up to the heart where it could be transformed into love. Something was said about the heart being an actual device for doing just that. It's a very powerful technique.

You seem to be already consciously doing that...just keep doing that and you will transform this!

[Lavazza]

Hey Colorado,

I also can sympathize with your feelings of frustration here. For me it's a one-two punch because when someone responds in an attacking / close-minded way to something metaphysical that I am interested in, 1. it feels like an attack on me, with regard to what I believe in. (E.g. you believe in god/ufos/channeling/spirits? you must be really dumb!) And 2, it is an attack on the credibility of whatever it is we are talking about, which I see as detrimental towards that topic gaining more credibility in the mainstream (which would be nice, eh?).

Whenever you venture to talk to someone who may or may not be open minded to metaphysical topics, you are taking a risk to some degree that you will get a response you are not looking for. On some level I see it as duty (in a minor way) to raise the topic now and again, so as to better introduce metaphysics to our collective consciousness, but I have learned to do so in non-obvious and/or non-direct ways. And when I get the "you're stupid" response (usually implied) I take it as a clear message from that person's higher self that he/she is NOT ready to take on this sort of material at this time so as to best fulfill his/her life lessons/missions. I make sure to never bring it up to that person again, unless initiated by that person.

Being a part of a group that is an extreme minority on earth (people who are consciously aware of the Law of One material) is in and of itself an interesting catalyst, wouldn't you agree?

[ayadew]

It's a bit of a trial and error, this balancing business. Try a bit here, poke a bit there.. see the other-self's reaction, see your own reaction, ponder it's implications and meaning, integrate and balance it, do it again to see if you really learned something! And usually you do, and you feel more aware, full and conscious.
It's quite difficult to be thankful for catalyst when you're in the middle of it, being full of annoyance, frustration, injustice or anger. And yet, when you learn the lesson, you see the love in it and it is glorious!

[Ali Quadir]

I was just wondering what you guys do when you have emotions that you do not approve of. I suppose I should meditate on them, but I was just wondering if anyone had specific suggestions as to the type of meditation I should perform.

We go for walks? Well, I do at any rate.. But my cross is usually anger. A brisk stroll takes the sharpness out.

Regarding your mother, it seems to me you feel a kind of transferred embarrassment. Basically, you identify with your mother. And when she does things that would embarrass you if you did them then you feel embarrassed in her place.

I think if she does something like that... Best is to remind yourself that she's who she is, and her choices and silly quirks do not reflect who you are. Smile, you may hold yourself to a high standard of intellectual accuracy (some of us do that) but your mother has a different set of values. And so do her friends... When your mother says one of her goofy things look at how her friends respond.

All this said, your mother managed to get through life before you came along. She may not be as intelligent, but in her own way she organized things so they worked out. And I doubt there's not one or two things you can still learn from her.

At the very least, be happy that she doesn't get totally drunk and starts throwing bottles at the neighbors.

Meditation won't help much I think. You need to reevaluate the values you hold regarding intelligence. Even though it is a good quality, one we can appreciate in people, it's not a requirement to be "good" people. Some people are actually awesome because they don't have a lot of intelligence. I know one person who once asked me if the propeller on a helicopter was to keep the pilot cool.. She's also the person who explained to me about a thousand things about how people function, how you can recognize character traits in facial features. She can read minds by reading faces. She may not be very rational, but she has the ability to perceive things I totally miss and this gives her strengths that I can only dream off.

[Peregrinus]

My brother Ali brought up something which made me think of a past realization...

It is easier to find fault in others than oneself, and the faults one finds in others are the faults one dislikes in the self.

[feibelal]

Hi Colorado.

I did a cool mediation on this a few days ago; very creative, very enjoyable, joyous. I listened to Carla’s broadcast on BBS radio about the sun, what is the sun really. Sub-logos, literal creator of this solar system and all the entities, including us within it. And each of us is to our vast interior world, all our thoughts, feelings, experiences, history, as the sun is to us. We are the all-powerful creator of this vast interior landscape. Meditated on it. That for me leveled the playing field. So then I went to a meeting of an organization I belong to, a meeting where people were miscommunicating and where there was very little joy or peace, but many negative emotions (that’s what makes me think of being with your mom and her friends). These were people with whom I have some level of disconnect. And having this palpable experience of how they are this vast tree of consciousness, who have existed since time immemorial, and I rather imagined, in my mind’s eye, that they all wore cloaks with hoods and long trains which encompassed the multi-billion year old world of internal experience which each has created, and, well, things changed for me. I was free, and joyous sometimes, to be in the presence of these august creators, these divine lords of these complex universes reaching back, in their roots of consciousness, to the beginning of the physical universe. And operating for the moment out of the leafy tips of their most recent consciousness, acting to learn lessons most recently chosen, posing as stuck, unhappy vast waifs seated in a circle on hard concrete with poker faces. Now I contemplate the unctuously groomed harvest being prepared for the one infinite creator back of all universes, galaxies who was right there in the room...

Dreamweaver

[Ali Quadir]

My brother Ali brought up something which made me think of a past realization...

It is easier to find fault in others than oneself, and the faults one finds in others are the faults one dislikes in the self.

Very often this is true I think. Especially if we can't quite describe why these faults bother us so much.

[Brittany]

I have a hard time giving a good answer to this post because I suffer such an similar situation. I have a job that requires working with the public, and I deal with all manner of unsavory people. Sometimes I get so annoyed with their behavior and their thoughtless comments that I just want to scream and shake them.

The only thing I can really suggest is trying to look at the situation objectively. Try to figure out *what* exactly about the person’s behavior is annoying you. Why is that one thing getting under your skin? Once you find the reason, dissect it until you get to whatever root issue in yourself has caused these feelings and then decide what you want to do about them. Do you need to heal a buried inner wound or see things from the other person’s perspective or just get away from the for a while so you can catch your breath and regroup? Ultimately when faced with these situations I try to adhere to the mirror allusion that Ra gives. I try to figure out what about the other person I see in myself. I know it sounds like I’m just quoting the Ra Material now, but in the end simply putting their suggestion into practice has been the most effective means of helping myself get over this intense annoyance that at times has threatened to consume me.

[fairyfarmgirl]

Wow! I can relate to this thread... only it is my son who incessently asks the same questions over and over that he already knows the answers to! So annoying! I am so tired of asking him to just stop talking!

I just got a call from his teacher who thinks he is mentally deficient because he has the charm and guile and continuous talking to bring the entire class to a standstill just asking irrelevant questions like a filibusterer (USA political tactic in the US Senate).

I feel :

Embarrassed, annoyed, angry and fed up... what to do with a filibusterer kid?

Love--

fairyfarmgirl

[Lorna]

why do you think he's doing it fairyfarmgirl?

[fairyfarmgirl]

why do you think he's doing it fairyfarmgirl?

My darling and Annoying child wishes to be a STAR--- I have gotten him a guitar which he serenades us with so that is a positive start... but he likes the attention... Good or "Bad" it is attention he seeks... and no amount of attention is "enough." He had this pattern even before I had the twins... but when its a young child doing attention seeking question asking it is CUTE--- but when a 9 year old does it--- ummm it has long lost its endearing qualities! LOL It is really hard to watch him do this to himself... we have tried intervening and NOTHING works... because it is ATTENTION! LOL see the wonderful cycle we have in the fairyfarmgirl household.

fairyfarmgirl

[Lorna]

haha he sounds fab

[fairyfarmgirl]

haha he sounds fab

He is fab... as long as you don't intend to be on time to anything... or stay on topic... or get a word in edgewise... LOL We are working on modeling positive conversation skills with him. We also make him rewind his questions (that he knows the answers to) and then state it as a statement... not a question to be answered... LOL The rewinding process is quite entertaining to watch... I think he might be in showbiz in the future... either that a rockstar... hopefully we will have been able to instill some self-control by that time.:-/

--fairyfarmgirl