Greetings from the Dark

[Lulu]

thank you for all that zaxon, all very interesting.

I often see myself as a "catalyst" or as I have referred to myself as "the universes helper" begrudgingly when being willing to call others out on their denials, bull-s*** and self-lies, however gentle makes no great impression. I consider that technically in Service to Others. I avoid doing it because it does not serve ME that well. I prefer to stay in my own energy and that is technically Service to Myself.

The whole concept of STS/STO seems from a fairly low place. I wonder if you could elaborate on how you proceed as catalyst being from a higher place. Can you give an example perhaps?

It's interesting that you have no awareness of your connection to the energy that I can feel. It also seems to have become very much more distant now. You have received no impressions, images or other during our interaction?

I wonder what exactly you think you gave me a sample of when I checked into your energy field? The emptiness that I felt was exactly representative of a state I had been dragged into during my experiences. As a female that is the exact opposite of an energy I would crave to be AS myself. However the image that arose in that moment was a strong male of silver light, with head bowed (perhaps to the creator) and a worshipful stance in total humility, yet in strength. If you have merged with your spirit body this will make sense to you, if not then your other self is whatever opposes that. That would mean you are arrogant and not in humility to the creator and quite weak in the masculine energy that appears to others. You are fortunate, another male I did this on had a very weak masculine spirit body, rather weak in posture and disheveled. He has no trust in the Feminine energy. As I approached him fangs, biting blood etc would appear in his mind when I came close or went to touch him. However I did Polarize myself in the farthest feminine energy before the reading. I could try that with you. Is your offer to do as I see fit still in standing?

p's I did not receive an answer to the 6thD lie question (?).




.

[Zaxon]

Lulu,

Motivation is what differentiates STS from STO. The STS/STO dichotomy is rather subjective in this respect, though in terms of energy the distinction is best characterized as the difference between those who give energy and those who absorb it. My awareness and understanding often reach beyond this density to a greater understanding of the creator. However, the potentialities of the "lower" negative densities reside within me. My awareness of higher densities does not change the fact that this life is lived in the third density. So I live each day in dedication to and service to self.

Your energy is familiar. That is all I can say. I have not turned my awareness toward this matter and/or these memories. Therefore, they remain obscured if they exist at all. With effort I might search, but in this density my awareness is but a candle in the dark. I can recall particular things if I focus the light of awareness on them, and the clouds clear, but the rest remains mystery. I currently dedicate my energies and awareness to other matters.

The silver body of light is indeed my energetic body. The energetic body and incarnate body I now inhabit are one in the same, though this body vibrates at a lower frequency because of its third density incarnation. The image you perceived was not worship of creator but communion. By mid-sixth density every moment is communion with creator, until the individual mind and the mind of the creator become difficult to distinguish.

Lying becomes difficult if not impossible beyond the third density, given the nature of being and communication. However, I find it likely that a higher density entity could lie to a third density entity if it so chose.

You are of course free to do as you like. It matters not to me.

-Zaxon

[Lulu]

By mid-sixth density every moment is communion with creator, until the individual mind and the mind of the creator become difficult to distinguish.

What is it you are communioning about, do you know?

For me I get Impulses to write what I write, say what I say, do what I do etc. these impulses, when I'm at my best, are coming from all beings who assist in my experience.

Communing with the creator or (whichever spirit that can reach me) or perhaps my Source is something that I can not "remember" too well when I come out of it.

It sounds like you are having a constant conversation with one specific entity? Do you think you are communing with The actual SOURCE Creator, as in The, THE CREATOR ---or one of the many on the way to it, if that is even something that exists to you?

I've only glanced through Urantia info. It's never been that interesting to me but after having certain experiences I do feel there are many gods, many creators, replicated universes inside of other universes (perhaps ours, thats why it's so f*ucked up, Lol).

I think it's fascinating how when I do a reading on someone and discover so-called "guides" they are really clingy, needy spirits at times who co-miserate with that one here.

I still have not a satisfactory reading on you.

[Patrick]

...That being said, our relationship is based on duty, respect, and understanding - with the explicit understanding that love is conditional, and must be daily earned.

-Zaxon

This is so not for me!

The more I explore STS and the more I can bask in and appreciate my polarity (STO).

[Lulu]

Valtor,
I know right! Can you imagine the lack of true expression in a relationship based on that? The very things that allow a relationship to be intimate and of companion and partnership are stripped away to recreate the cold dutiful relationships of times past, the epitome of the miserable and stuck marriage based on security and duty. Within less then a few years it would be sex as a duty, if at all, an emotionally stagnant experience with no heart connection. Probably the woman once devoted, in discouragement and guiding soul pressure of the feminine heart energy, once she knows she is secure enough will begin to have an affair and eventually leave if she can.

[Zaxon]

...That being said, our relationship is based on duty, respect, and understanding - with the explicit understanding that love is conditional, and must be daily earned.

-Zaxon

This is so not for me!

The more I explore STS and the more I can bask in and appreciate my polarity (STO).

Valtor,

It certainly is not for everyone. With regard to a mate's flaws the STO couple will say, "No one is perfect." An STS oriented couple will say, "No one is perfect, yet." Implicit in this is the understanding that flaws are temporal and the other will strive daily to overcome it. There is no tolerance for wallowing in weakness, rather we chose to bask in one another's strength.

-Zaxon

[Lulu]

LOL --nice try... haha.

[Zaxon]

Lulu,

If that is to be that fate of our relationship, so be it. It would signal to me that we are truly incompatible, and that she is both without discipline and honor. In which case I would prefer solitude to her companionship.

-Zaxon

[Lulu]

Z!
oh nooo It's clear you ARE perfect for each other. You are both willing to enter into roles that are bound within the confines of commitment residing around limits of duty and security; forgoing silly stuff like desire, love, passion, joy, intimacy, heart connection, euphoric sex, partnership, openness, etc.
Lulu

[Shin'Ar]

Z!
oh nooo It's clear you ARE perfect for each other. You are both willing to enter into roles that are bound within the confines of commitment residing around limits of duty and security; forgoing silly stuff like desire, love, passion, joy, intimacy, heart connection, euphoric sex, partnership, openness, etc.
Lulu

committment - the foregoing of desire, love, passion, joy, intimacy, heart connection, euphoric sex, partnership, openness, etc.


Okay, wait a minute, I have to go check Websters on this one.

LOL, Lulu

[Lulu]

Lulu,

...she is both without discipline or honor. In which case I would prefer solitude to her companionship.

-Zaxon

A marriage designed as a military campaign where both apply themselves adherently to what the Dictator in each of them has through their own emotional blockages and addictions has deemed is "right":

discipline  & honor

Definition: regimen, training
conduct, control, cultivation, curb, development, drill, drilling, education, exercise, inculcation, indoctrination, limitation, method, orderliness, practice, preparation, regulation, restraint, self-command, self-control, self-mastery, self-restraint, strictness, subordination, will, willpower :::
acclaim, accolade, adoration, badge, bays, commendation, compliment, credit, decoration, deference, distinction, favor, homage, kudos, laurels, privilege, recognition, regard, respect, source of pride, tribute, veneration

and when one or other has failed they are THIS:

chaos, confusion, disorder, disorganization, neglect, negligence, permissiveness :::
censure, condemnation, reproach

Zaxton, what you choose to attract and see is yourself in the mirror but only of that which you accept in yourself. You have attracted a female who will ONLY reflect to you what you wish to see (for the moment) and not all aspects of yourself or herself. Should she begin to show to you other aspects, you would judge her of the polarity of that which you would judge yourself.

As Ra says in the Healing section about mirroring: you must see the polarity in others, in your silence.
You many only value Patience but on the other end there is Impatience. The polarities are in all of us and the key is to see them and then accept them.

I hope I didn't ruin it. RE: Law of Confusion. It might have been more fun to play the red-neck Banjo and gaze into your eyes. LOL. :-)

---

thanks for the idea... ;-)

[Lulu]

http://home.comcast.net/~readingnews/Hidden_Hand.html

“How do you justify that the current British royal family line is the true bloodline, but Ishmael is not the true receiver of Abraham's gift? If you're true bloodline, you'll know what I mean.”

Who says it is the 'true' line? There were Ruling-Bloodlines long before your 'Yahweh' and his 'Christianity' arrived on this planet. Yahweh is 'a' Creator, not 'The' One Infinite Creator.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Zaxon have you determined yet if this the Creator that you worship (commune with) do your duty for? Do mind if Yahweh owns you? Do you owe your life to him? What price do you pay only to be in service to him? What is the bribe, what does he do for you?

Just curious. Thanks,
Lulu

---

btw -- you have disconnected yourself well from me. I can gather no information or feel anything coming off you now. There are others who can though...

[LsavedSmeD]

I have to see that I love reading this thread. Zaxon although Self-Serving is actually providing a Service to Others type of service in creating, responding, and taking part in this thread. He truly is aiding each and every one of the readers in understanding the positive path better by expressing the concepts of the negative path.

Odd how you could be self-serving in each choice and yet serve all simultaneously.

Much as I serve another out of Love and even as this is my intent I serve myself as what you put out comes back.

In essence it is not the action truly, as I have learned from this thread, but the intent as all actions serve both the self and other self on some level - there is only Unity.



Adonai!

[Shin'Ar]

I have to see that I love reading this thread. Zaxon although Self-Serving is actually providing a Service to Others type of service in creating, responding, and taking part in this thread. He truly is aiding each and every one of the readers in understanding the positive path better by expressing the concepts of the negative path.

Odd how you could be self-serving in each choice and yet serve all simultaneously.

Much as I serve another out of Love and even as this is my intent I serve myself as what you put out comes back.

In essence it is not the action truly, as I have learned from this thread, but the intent as all actions serve both the self and other self on some level - there is only Unity.



Adonai!

True, but don't let that thinking cause you to become apathetic to the danger of entering onto that path and becoming lost in its appealing offerings to the flesh.

[RonAl]

I came across this quote while rereading the Aaron/Q'uo Dialogues and found it interesting concerning service. Weekend 2, Session 6
Aaron channeled by Barbara
"We have spoken at length about negative and positive polarity as service to self and service to others. When there is not a distinction between self and others, you inevitably serve yourself because there is no other self or other. And, truly, even that entity that you think of as a negatively polarized being in service to self, without having the intention of doing so, does serve others because there is no difference between self and other.
Thus, the difference is not in the direction of the service so much as the intention. When there is intention of service to self, it is because fear is present; and greed, needing, and grasping. The distinction, then, becomes intention to serve fear and the solidified self that grows out of fear, versus the intention to serve love and the deep connection that grows out of love."

[Lulu]

When there is intention of service to self, it is because fear is present; and greed, needing, and grasping. The distinction, then, becomes intention to serve fear and the solidified self that grows out of fear, versus the intention to serve love and the deep connection that grows out of love."

RonAl that is a brilliant Ra explanation, thank you! I like the entire section, and I wholeheartedly agree with each and every word of it.
Lulu

---

Lulu,

All serve the Creator in their own way. Light is defined by darkness, without one the other cannot exist.

-Zaxon

Do you understand your own motive yet?

As you are duped into believing you are serving a Creator you ironically give away your own sovereignty in your fear of not being in control.

The ONE word that describes what I have felt from you and what to you "safely" makes ONENESS is indeed, Enslavement.

Why would your motive be Enslavement? I do feel you at your deepest level where you cannot feel.

Your fear is your own Enslavement, of which you are Enslaved of the "creator" that you wish to believe in. This Creator is a low part of the god-construct universe that is losing it's grip. You can still play around with Yahweh and Satan and all the ones in between. Your emotional injuries can be so great that you can be hooked into being an ANGEL for Yahweh or a LORD for Satan (...Dominus) or you can move right on past them both. They both have much to "offer" in past ideals, and they both are convincing that there is nothing beyond them.

There are those who will Do anything to maintain Control over themselves and their own passions of Love including being Controlled by other Creator Entities in exchange for the feeling of Power ("I am in control!"). It's a false truth and cowardly. You WILL have to deal with your Whole self sometime, like it or not. Both Negative and Positive hold at the Gate. You won't get past it and your fortune will never be what you hope, you will always be left Empty in your desires no matter how great success you achieve. You will become ugly and hideous, dark and decayed like the others. The light that is portrayed is but manufactured. The Gold that you chase will never be found because it is in your own Alchemical nature and aura that your Soul Desires for it to be.

Lulu

[omcasey]

Zaxon,

Your state of presence, the degree to which you are [being] who you are is not only beautiful but recognizable to me--thank you. It is ever a blessing when one comes into this. Few will understand your path, and your purpose, save those of similar depth and perhaps color pattern. You indeed seem close to the neutrality of which you speak, you are from it, as am I.. the core equivalence of STO and STS is clear. We share much in common, despite our leans, which is where we veer.

I appreciate your presence and what it ultimately allows..

The growth is almost audible.

Casey

[Zaxon]

Greetings Casey,

It is incumbent upon all sentient beings to seek out and express their highest truth - to become the fullest expression of the Creator they reflect. I find many people have difficulty understanding and accepting their truth and being, rather they become distracted and confused by the opinions and expectations of others; never truly seeing who and what they are. My natural disposition has allowed me to live a deliberate and closely observed life, unclouded by sentimentality and the opinions and expectations of others. I have always been keenly aware of my desires, motivations, strengths, and weaknesses.

The deepest part of my being is well beyond good and evil, and service to self or others. I remember well the place of unity, where all is self, and there is no distinction between self, others, and the Creator. Yet this aspect of my awareness exist in this time/space, in a place of limited dimensions and polarity. So I polarize. In this life, under these circumstances, for the sake of this mission - I polarize towards negativity. Yet that deep part of my being is ever bemused by the pantomime. How can one but laugh, when the creation is viewed from a god's eye view? How seriously the creation takes itself, with its pains and pleasures, and its delusions of good and evil.

-Zaxon

[Zaxon]

I found myself on this forum soon after awakening, in search of answers. Those I found, I found within myself, by the act of writing that which was already deeply known. I return now for similarly selfish reasons.

I have wandered in twilight for much of my life. Negatively biased, but somewhat influenced by the positive energies of this planet. Most of your stories end in redemption towards the light - but this is my story, and it does not.

I am an emissary of the dark - the dragon that eats worlds.

[Unbound]

Is that like eating gobstoppers?

[Seed]

I actually found your other thread helpful, despite you not looking to help anyone! Being a mainly "STO" biased site, it's understandable that you won't find too much that interests you or is helpful in some way. There's no piece of advice I can suggest to you, since you're a level or two above me in the intelligence department, however I would like to say thank you, and I wish you the best of luck on your journey; and have as much fun as you'd like!

[Patrick]

I sense positivity from you. Don't know why though.

[godwide_void]

Is it self-deification through this ephemeral form which you seek at the expense and exclusion of others for no other reason beyond self-empowerment with no intention of using the attainment of your goal for the benefit of others around you? If it is evolution into the negatively oriented spectrum of the higher levels of creation which you seek, you then must be thusly aware that your gaze must have always been and continue to be solely fixated upon self-aggrandizement and lack of perception of value in 'others' around you, even with the knowledge that there is only One of Us here, correct? To what extent do you plunge your spearhead of darkness and to what degree does your self-professed situating within malignancy extend to? Is yours merely an ideological or conceptual affiliation with darkness? I do not sense you as the murderous type and were you to have directly extinguished the incarnation of another aspect of the All you would have been to a great degree barred from awakening to the degree which you have, unless I am incorrect in this assumption. My intuitive sensing reveals to me that your modus operandi is in the utilization of your Ajna to bend the wills of others to fit your own, perhaps? You are not at all obligated to refute or clarify my musings if you deem such revealing of information to be sensitive and more than you are comfortable with although it would provide better in-depth understanding of one who is situated in the shadows to the proclaimed degree you are with the comprehension you claim to hold.

[Daydreamin]

Zaxon I am sending you My Love!


Namaste!

[Xenos]

Your darkness allows us to become brighter as we are able to easily detect emissions than absorptions.
You and I complete the law of duality and balance. But choice is up to ourselves... and I totally respect your choice!
Thank you for your presence and contributions Zaxon, having an STS entity allows us to open our perspectives and perhaps kick back a little.

May love and light, with a little sprinkle of darkness guide you along your way

[Kalle]

Are you sure that you are biased towards STS? In my awakening I convinced myself that I was STS, little did I realise that our negative friends will take the opportunity to 'plant seeds' if you give them the chance. My close friend also experienced this, feeling as though he had been living biased towards STS, I reminded him that in all the time I've known him I did not see it in him.

Have you actually grasped how negative you need to be if thats the choice you now consciously make? Your message does not convey fear or manipulation, something I would have thought essential to polarizing STS. Thats why I ask are you sure, or have you been manipulated? Its never too late to make the change

16.61 Questioner: If a Wanderer should be successfully infringed upon, shall I say, by the Orion group, what would happen to this Wanderer when harvest came?

Ra: I am Ra. If the Wanderer entity demonstrated through action a negative orientation towards other-selves it would be as we have said before, caught into the planetary vibration and, when harvested, possibly repeat again the master cycle of third density as a planetary entity. This shall be the last full question of this session.

Does it mean that you should use the Negativity as the tool that it is, to show you that which you are not? Yes.

[Siren]

I found myself on this forum soon after awakening, in search of answers. Those I found, I found within myself, by the act of writing that which was already deeply known. I return now for similarly selfish reasons.

I have wandered in twilight for much of my life. Negatively biased, but somewhat influenced by the positive energies of this planet. Most of your stories end in redemption towards the light - but this is my story, and it does not.

I am an emissary of the dark - the dragon that eats worlds.

And I am a friend of dragons.

This is the first time I directly address you. I have wandered places, far and wide, my friend. You are one of the few here whom I deeply resonate with. I see you, brother, and I acknowledge the God-hood within you.

[Brittany]

This one finds it odd that one pursuing a heart-state of blackness would surround itself with dozens of individuals who overflow with light, who twist everything it says into service-toward-others and shower it with loving acceptance. Is it not similar to a troupe of grade-school children clinging to your coat, shouting "Daddy! We love you!?" We know you visit the forum nearly every day, and find your interest in this little community highly amusing. Though of course, existence in its entirety is an amusement as well.

We see you, Shadow Brother. We see through that human costume, to all that lies within and beyond. We would go so far as to wager that our view would awe even that consciousness you entertain at this moment. Adonai.

[111]

An angel in wolfs clothing wearing a Human suit... Anything we do, anything at all exsist within the paradigm of BEING... The very fact that you have now, or have ever been is in service to creator and every other aspect of such. Regardless of ANYTHING said within these forums, thought within this coinsiousness, experienced within this being, the very fact that you choose one path or the other, light or dark, sto or sts, is in service to Being, to all that is and ever will be. I appreciate you, I appreciate your being, and I see the divine spark within us all. Namaste

[godwide_void]

An angel in wolfs clothing wearing a Human suit... Anything we do, anything at all exsist within the paradigm of BEING... The very fact that you have now, or have ever been is in service to creator and every other aspect of such. Regardless of ANYTHING said within these forums, thought within this coinsiousness, experienced within this being, the very fact that you choose one path or the other, light or dark, sto or sts, is in service to Being, to all that is and ever will be. I appreciate you, I appreciate your being, and I see the divine spark within us all. Namaste

You speak words of such elegance pointing to the core truth that regardless of who we are, how many there are of us, how we all uniquely appear, what path we individually walk, what personal beliefs we hold and what we do, there is only ever One being wearing these various masks, playing these various roles and walking these various paths. There is only One being which loves and One which hates. There is only One which sees and only One which is seen.