The Quest for a Soulmate

[Oceania]

but Monica someone who's into looks and stuff will get a partner who's the same. but why tell someone not to do that if that's what they want?

[Monica]

but Monica someone who's into looks and stuff will get a partner who's the same. but why tell someone not to do that if that's what they want?

I'm not telling anyone not to do anything. You have a good point so if that's what they want to do, then go for it!

I was talking about someone who is looking for their soulmate, which is the topic of this thread. Having criteria about looks is a great way to find a partner who is also into looks, but might not be a very effective way to find one's soulmate.

[Oceania]

it might be. aren't our mates on the same path as we are?

[Ruth]

I think Monica and Oceania are technically saying the same thing. If you have agreed preincarnation with your soulmate to explore catalysts related to physical appearance then you might be searching for a soulmate with specific physical attributes.

You are searching for the mate that will provide the catalysts you need, or at least be the best support for you while dealing with the catalysts you will encounter in this incarnation.

[Monica]

it might be. aren't our mates on the same path as we are?

Maybe. I guess each person will have to figure that out for themselves. In my case, I found my soulmate very quickly after letting go of any attachment to any criteria. So I'm just sharing what worked for me.

At the very least, I would suggest adding some other attributes besides just looks. How many hot babes and hot studs are there out there?

(Not saying you were focused on looks only. I'm sure it was just one of many desired attributes.)

---

I think Monica and Oceania are technically saying the same thing. If you have agreed preincarnation with your soulmate to explore catalysts related to physical appearance then you might be searching for a soulmate with specific physical attributes.

You are searching for the mate that will provide the catalysts you need, or at least be the best support for you while dealing with the catalysts you will encounter in this incarnation.

Maybe so. I think it also depends on one's definition of soulmate. Apparently the word means different things to different people.

I've had my share of boyfriends. Each provided what I needed at the time, in terms of catalyst. I wouldn't call any of them my soulmate. They were just temporary. To me, a soulmate is a life partner.

[Oceania]

if you want one that's aesthetically appealing what's wrong with that? i think that's an important part. for example someone thinks big noses are ugly, i think they're really hot. so someone who chooses a big nose, might just match me, and it'd be serendipitous.

---

and often there's a guy i like and he just happens to have a big nose or other features i like.

[Monica]

if you want one that's aesthetically appealing what's wrong with that?

I didn't say there was anything wrong with it.

[Oceania]

you kinda implied it.

[Monica]

you kinda implied it.

I was very clear in my opinion that if one wants to attract their soulmate, they might have more success if they release any attachments to physical or superficial criteria.

I didn't imply any judgment about 'right' or 'wrong.'

The reason for my opinion is simple: Maybe your soulmate is physically hot and has a big nose, and you picked up on that; hence, you're looking for someone who is hot and has a big nose.

But, what if your soul mate is a few pounds overweight and doesn't have a big nose? By looking for only the hot guy with the big nose, you might not recognize your soulmate when you actually meet.

If that happens, there is nothing 'wrong' with it. I'm not saying anything is wrong. I'm just offering a possibility. But if you feel certain that your soulmate is hot and has a big nose, then don't listen to me! I certainly don't know anything about your soulmate!

[Oceania]

there's nothing wrong with *wanting* and expecting physical features. i've never expected certain ones but i expect them to be pleasing to *me*.i think when you say there's nothing wrong with that, you still think there *is* something wrong with it.

[Monica]

there's nothing wrong with *wanting* and expecting physical features. i've never expected certain ones but i expect them to be pleasing to *me*.i think when you say there's nothing wrong with that, you still think there *is* something wrong with it.

I just told you I don't think there's anything 'wrong' with it, but if you don't believe me, that is your choice. :-/

You're apparently perceiving judgment, Oceania. It's not coming from me.

[BrownEye]

I don't find any meaning in "soul mates" as far as two people from separate oversouls. To me that is a "contract".

The "higher self" of my wife is also my higher self, the same oversoul. Tracing my past incarnations I am always male, she is always female. Only a few of my lives have I been alone without her part incarnated to possibly "hook up".


This would possibly explain why we fit so well as opposites. All of my strong points are her weak points, and vice versa. We work as a team rather than individuals.

---

Actually there is the concept of teaching each other seen in our relationship.

[Monica]

I don't find any meaning in "soul mates" as far as two people from separate oversouls. To me that is a "contract".

The "higher self" of my wife is also my higher self, the same oversoul. Tracing my past incarnations I am always male, she is always female. Only a few of my lives have I been alone without her part incarnated to possibly "hook up".


This would possibly explain why we fit so well as opposites. All of my strong points are her weak points, and vice versa. We work as a team rather than individuals.

---

Actually there is the concept of teaching each other seen in our relationship.

That's very similar to my hubby and me. I have wondered about the sex part. All the past life memories I have were female. I wondered if maybe I was biased and just assumed they were all female, since psychics say we've incarnated as both sexes. Ra says that too, if I remember correctly.

Are you saying you think you never change gender, or that you might change, but your mate will also change so you're always opposite?

Ie., could you incarnate next time as female and your wife as the male?

[Shin'Ar]

IMO, as with so many other things that man must alter to meet his opinions, I think the original meaning has been defiled.

In my understanding of the soul, also known by many other names as you all know, the mating of two fields of consciousness which creates the Sacred Eye is the actual process of the creation evolving.

So with every mating soul mates are created.

One can imagine the countless fields that are out there and we will only ever mate with a tiny number of them. Each fields that we do mate with would of course be our soul mate, and that would include this planet, this solar system, this galaxy, and the One Consciousness. And everysingle consciousness that we have shared fields with in the course of the evolution of our own field of consciousness.

[BrownEye]

That's very similar to my hubby and me. I have wondered about the sex part. All the past life memories I have were female. I wondered if maybe I was biased and just assumed they were all female, since psychics say we've incarnated as both sexes. Ra says that too, if I remember correctly.

Are you saying you think you never change gender, or that you might change, but your mate will also change so you're always opposite?

Ie., could you incarnate next time as female and your wife as the male?

At some point I may switch, but from all I have found I have followed a genetic marker along with one gender. In the beginning I found that I am considered young, but old enough to make choices of incarnation.

[BrownEye]

37.6 Questioner: You said that each third-density entity has an Higher Self in the sixth-density which is moving to the mind/body/spirit complex of the entity as needed. Does this Higher Self also evolve in growth through the densities beginning with the first-density, and does each Higher Self have a corresponding Higher Self advanced in densities beyond it?

Ra: I am Ra. To simplify this concept is our intent. The Higher Self is a manifestation given to the late sixth-density mind/body/spirit complex as a gift from its future selfness. The mid-seventh density’s last action before turning towards the allness of the Creator and gaining spiritual mass is to give this resource to the sixth-density self, moving as you measure time in the stream of time.

This self, the mind/body/spirit complex of late sixth-density, has then the honor/duty of using both the experiences of its total living bank of memory of experience, thoughts, and actions, and using the resource of the mind/body/spirit complex totality left behind as a type of infinitely complex thought-form.

In this way you may see your self, your Higher Self or Oversoul, and your mind/body/spirit complex totality as three points in a circle. The only distinction is that of your time/space continuum. All are the same being.

37.7 Questioner: Does each entity have an individual mind/body/spirit complex totality or do a number of entities share the same mind/body/spirit complex totality?

Ra: I am Ra. Both of these statements are correct given the appropriate time/space conditions. Each entity has its totality and at the point at which a planetary entity becomes a social memory complex the totality of this union of entities also has its Oversoul and its social memory complex totality as resource. As always, the sum, spiritually speaking, is greater than the sum of its parts so that the Oversoul of a social memory complex is not the sum of the Oversouls of its member entities but operates upon the way of what we have called squares and what we grasp you prefer to call doubling.

[BrownEye]

From Edgar Cayce. This sounds like birth marks sometimes signify a connection to previous experience. I assume this would apply to "soul".

We know that many have hereditary birth marks, which would show that "identity" may follow DNA lineage. My children had matching marks on the back of the neck/head.

Another interesting point, some of the friends I connected with for combined seeking had marks similar to mine.

(Q) What was the cause for the birthmark on left hip?
(A) Few individuals there are who do not carry a mark of some character or nature. This is a mark from a former experience, from former activities in the earth plane. (From reading #2175-2)

(Q) Why do I have a mark on my physical body?
(A) As given, there is set a mark in those that they themselves may know that they have been called; that they may understand that they have been called. For it has been given, "I will set my mark upon my own, and they shall hear my voice, and answer—within." Seek into self to know whereunto such has called thee, that ye may answer even as He, "Here am I, Lord, use me as Thou seest fit." (From reading #540-3)

(Q) What caused the birthmark on my baby's arm?
(A) Marks on many bodies, as on this one, are for a purpose—and... it would be seen that it has a purpose to perform in the affairs of those in its own surroundings and in many others. A mark! [An aside: Take individuals everywhere, where there has been or is a mark in the body, and analyze their activity and associations among individuals; for their lives and their associations are different from the ordinary ken. Many will be found to have almost caused or averted tragedies (as called in the earth) in the lives of individuals.] (From reading #573-1)

Q. Was I marked by Ra Ta in the Egyptian Period? If so, where and what is the meaning of it?
A. In the face and the mouth: that there be not too much talk. (Reading 585-6)
Q. Was I given a mark by Ra Ta? If so, where is it, and what is the meaning of it?
A. The upper portion of the lip, or between the nasal passages and the corner of the lip – which exists there at ties – especially a feeling of twitching there: the
messenger, the speaker to those that need counsel and advice. (Reading 1100-
26)

From my interpretation of "soul mate" it is possible that could be your parent, sibling, or child. A close friend just found out her 9 year old son is of the same oversoul, which made her realize that that is why they always know what each other is thinking and feeling.

[Oceania]

there's nothing wrong with *wanting* and expecting physical features. i've never expected certain ones but i expect them to be pleasing to *me*.i think when you say there's nothing wrong with that, you still think there *is* something wrong with it.

I just told you I don't think there's anything 'wrong' with it, but if you don't believe me, that is your choice. :-/

You're apparently perceiving judgment, Oceania. It's not coming from me.

look closer, Monica. you were judging, you're just not seeing it.

[BrownEye]

Oceania, don't mix up personal choice/decision/judgement with placing judgement on others.

She has an overabundance of compassion, and will normally spread her "inner" love that is based on personal judgements, and can be mistaken for judging. This happens when trying to get points across. The issues with our perception come from not connecting properly.

[Oceania]

well, that's how i perceive it. Monica was implying clearly with her words she did not approve of the "superficial and shallow" way to attract a mate. i don't appreciate that as i think what she perceives as shallow, isn't. how can i convey this to her? i can't.

[BrownEye]

36.22 Questioner: I’m a little fuzzy on a point with respect to the Higher Self. We each, I am assuming, have an individual Higher Self at sixth-density positive level. Is this correct? Each of us in the room here; that is, the three of us?

Ra: I am Ra. This shall be the last full question of this working. We shall attempt to aim for the intention of your query as we understand it. Please request any additional information.

Firstly, it is correct that each in this dwelling place has one Oversoul, as you may call it. However, due to the repeated harmonious interactions of this triad of entities there may be seen to be a further harmonious interaction besides the three entities’ Higher Selves; that is, each social memory complex has an Oversoul of a type which is difficult to describe to you in words. In this group there are two such social memory complex totalities blending their efforts with your Higher Selves at this time.

[Monica]

Oceania, don't mix up personal choice/decision/judgement with placing judgement on others.

She has an overabundance of compassion, and will normally spread her "inner" love that is based on personal judgements, and can be mistaken for judging. This happens when trying to get points across. The issues with our perception come from not connecting properly.

Thanks, Pickle! Yes, Oceania, there is a difference between my personal choices/preferences/judgments about what is right for ME, vs. personally judging others. I am sharing MY choices. I have No judgment towards YOU. Does that make sense?

well, that's how i perceive it. Monica was implying clearly with her words she did not approve of the "superficial and shallow" way to attract a mate. i don't appreciate that as i think what she perceives as shallow, isn't. how can i convey this to her? i can't.

Oceania, I have expressed my own personal choice. For ME to have criteria based on superficial attributes, would not work. For YOU to do that, is really none of my business. Only you can decide that. And you don't need my approval!!!

(By the way, when I say 'superficial' I am referring to physical. That's not judging. It's just fact. Hair color, size of nose, whether someone is 'hot' or not are all physical characteristics. That's what superficial means. It's not a judgment.)

I was very attached to a certain 'rockstar' look when I was a teenager. My husband is very good looking, but before I met him, I consciously and intentionally set aside my attachment to having a good-looking guy. It just wasn't important to me anymore. For me to do that, was a big thing. It required changing my priorities.

I even let go of the attachment to him being vegetarian. This was an even bigger deal than looks! And guess what? He wasn't a vegetarian yet. So if I'd had the criteria of wanting a vegetarian, I would have missed him!

For ME, it worked! It was spiritually fulfilling to let go of those attachments. I am simply sharing what happened in MY life.

Thankfully, my husband NOW fits all those desired traits that I had wanted but let go of (except the rock star hair!). And MORE. He is way MORE than I originally could have imagined! Rock star hair is just so unimportant, to me NOW. I chuckle at ever having wanted that, it's such a NON-issue.

But the point is, that at the time I was trying to find my soulmate, I gave up ALL attachments. I really really did. And very quickly after that, I found someone who ended up having the very qualities I would most want in a mate now. We ended up growing and changing together, and balancing each other out.

Why in the world would I even care if you want a hot-looking guy or not? Honestly, I really don't sit here and think "Oh Oceania is so shallow." Those thoughts truly don't even enter my mind. What you perceive as judgment, is actually amusement. I predict that some day you just won't care as much about looks as you do now. That's just normal aging and it happens to all of us. Remember, I'm much older than you are. We don't keep our looks forever!

Case in point: I recently saw an ex-boyfriend on facebook. I was shocked! He looked OLD, like somebody's dad! This was the guy I used to drool over when I was 15! In high school he had long hair, the total rockstar look, and even played in a band. But no more. Now, he looks totally 'average' is overweight and balding. Well guess what, my husband looks waaaaay better than that guy NOW!

But here's the cool thing: Neither of us looks as good as we did when we first met. It's been almost 30 years! But we love each other even more.

My only point was that any criteria, whether it's for looks, lifestyle, or whatever, might cause one to miss the soulmate because they're looking for something else. And by letting go of the criteria, one might actually attract someone even better.

This opinion has nothing to do with you, Oceania. It's just a general opinion. If it doesn't work for you, then just let it go. Whether it's "ok" for you to want a hot guy, is not for me to decide. It's for YOU to decide. I cannot judge or validate your choices. That's for you to do.

Does this clarify?

---

I used to have the hots for young Ozzy, circa 1970s. But look at him now!

(see pix)

I'm sure Sharon still loves him, though!

[Shin'Ar]

Oceania is going to be looking forever to find a human that will continue to live up to her expectations.

My question to her is what does she intend to do as that person loses their looks with age?

Will she change her expectations as she ages? or will she only remain with a person as long as they meet her expectations?

Call this judging if you want. Does not matter what anyone wanst to call it. These are the natural questions to ask of someone who clearly states that she has certain criteria that must be met according to what she considers beauty.

the truth is that we all have that same desire, but most of us would admit that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder so there is no set standard.

[Monica]

Oceania is going to be looking forever to find a human that will continue to live up to her expectations.

My question to her is what does she intend to do as that person loses their looks with age?

Will she change her expectations as she ages? or will she only remain with a person as long as they meet her expectations?

Call this judging if you want.

I was on the receiving end of that. Despite being pretty, I didn't meet the criteria of an ex-boyfriend in terms of color and shape of certain body parts. :exclamation: Yes that's right, he had a 'preference' for a certain 'exotic' look which I could never live up to, since I was petite and blonde.

I felt judged, belittled, unappreciated, and 'not good enough' and there was not a damn thing I could do about it. Even dying my hair could not turn me into what he wanted.

I have a friend whose husband has a fantasy about Hispanic women. My friend is quite white. She actually dyed her hair black and learned Spanish, in a vain effort to please her husband. It wasn't enough.

It's ironic, Oceania, that you say I am judging you. What I'm really saying is, I think if one wants to attract their soulmate, then judging the physical appearance of prospective mates according to some preset criteria, is in fact judging them.

In my personal opinion, that's not the most effective way to get a 'soulmate' relationship off on a good start. Because, the soulmate might not meet that criteria, and will never measure up.

It doesn't feel good being on the receiving end of that.

Again, just sharing my own experiences, for what it's worth. If this doesn't resonate, which it apparently doesn't, then just discard.

[51/49]

I think Monica and Oceania are technically saying the same thing.

yes ,they are ! .. lol

except for Oceania's poly quote ..

+1 for sharing love !


they both make valid points .. how about you both agree to disagree but you actually do agree !

[Monica]

yes ,they are ! .. lol

We are?

except for Oceania's poly quote ..

Yeah I'm definitely not poly. (I'm not even sure that means, but I don't think I am anyway.) And I can say that about myself without judging anyone else.

they both make valid points .. how about you both agree to disagree but you actually do agree !

Nothing to agree or disagree about. We all have our own unique experiences. I was just sharing mine.

But sure, Peace, Oceania! Good luck finding your soulmate!

[51/49]

We are?

as Ruth put it ... "technically"

I feel like you are coming from a slightly "softer" left side , and Oceania is come from a slightly "harder" right side .. but you are both close to center with your presented ideas.

Yeah I'm definitely not poly. (I'm not even sure what that means, but I don't think I am anyway.)

I interpreted this to be something similar to "free love", but it could of meant that she "polymorphs" into different creatures?

Nothing to agree or disagree about. We all have our own unique experiences. I was just sharing mine.

apologies Monica , i didn't mean it in that way, that might of been rude of me

[Monica]

apologies Monica , i didn't mean it in that way, that might of been rude of me

Oh gosh, nothing to apologize for! You weren't rude at all! I was just a little surprised. Peacemaking is always good! I just meant, there's really nothing to make peace about, as far as I can tell. But I can't speak for Oceania.

I prefer monogamy myself. I hope that doesn't make any polymorphs feel judged!

[Steppingfeet]

I was very attached to a certain 'rockstar' look when I was a teenager. My husband is very good looking, but before I met him, I consciously and intentionally set aside my attachment to having a good-looking guy. It just wasn't important to me anymore. For me to do that, was a big thing. It required changing my priorities.

I even let go of the attachment to him being vegetarian. This was an even bigger deal than looks! And guess what? He wasn't a vegetarian yet. So if I'd had the criteria of wanting a vegetarian, I would have missed him!

For ME, it worked! It was spiritually fulfilling to let go of those attachments. I am simply sharing what happened in MY life.

Thankfully, my husband NOW fits all those desired traits that I had wanted but let go of (except the rock star hair!). And MORE. He is way MORE than I originally could have imagined! Rock star hair is just so unimportant, to me NOW. I chuckle at ever having wanted that, it's such a NON-issue.

But the point is, that at the time I was trying to find my soulmate, I gave up ALL attachments. I really really did. And very quickly after that, I found someone who ended up having the very qualities I would most want in a mate now. We ended up growing and changing together, and balancing each other out.

Agree with everything you said Monica - and still trying to live that! Damn if my expectations/attachments don't trip me up on a day-to-day basis.

There's a great line from a Dave Matthews Band song I love that goes:

"And if you hold on too tight
To what you think is your thing
You may find you're missing all the rest"

Song: Best of What's Around
Album: Under the Table and Dreaming
Artist: One of greatest of all times in the history of ever

[Diana]

well, that's how i perceive it. Monica was implying clearly with her words she did not approve of the "superficial and shallow" way to attract a mate. i don't appreciate that as i think what she perceives as shallow, isn't. how can i convey this to her? i can't.

Oceania, I think you may be taking personal offense where none was meant. We are not judging each other, merely discussing the topic and relating personal experiences and theories.

Even if someone here DID think the preference you describe was superficial, so what? (And just to be clear, I don't think anyone does think that.) It would only be an opinion, and it would not mean it was "right," or even rational. No one can take away your integrity.