Hello, I'm lonely. how are you?

[pksmith]

Hey,
I've been lurking on these forums for a few months. I feel it's time to participate. I don't know what else to say now except that I am lonely, and need to feel like a part of a community of folks with similar experiences. I graduated from college last year and am still living in Oberlin, the tiny town where I went to school. I stayed in order to have the space to expand and to explore my music, but I've found myself living in a house with four intense women, and am feeling more and more suffocated. I've slacked immensely on my practicing (I was a classical guitar major), and a lot of my attention gets pulled into house dramas that I really shouldn't be hearing about of participating in. The more time I spend around other people the more alone I feel. It's hard to all of a sudden be on my own, and I gotta say I'm feeling pretty aloof. It's hard to find the right balance between intention-action and acceptance of my current reality. I could go into my situation more deeply, perhaps I'll write a wanderer story, but I really just want to reach out to all of you because I trust that you will understand the depth of my pain, even if I don't describe it with much precision.
Love
Phil

[Monica]

Hi Phil!

Welcome to Bring4th!

I know what it's like to live in a house full of drama. I grew up in a home with intense drama all the time! And now, as we near the Harvest, people's issues are rising to the surface, where they are mirroring to one another those suppressed or unexpressed aspects of their natures.

Choosing to not get involved in their drama might indeed appear 'aloof' to the person having the drama, but I found that to be an effective course of action in many cases. Although I might have seemed 'aloof' on the surface, inside I was far from aloof; rather than allow my own emotions to escalate and thus add to the dynamic, remaining calm on the outside while actively choosing love/forgiveness/peace/harmony on the inside gave me something to focus on while the sparks were flying.

While in the midst of an emotional upheaval it's often difficult to remember, but choosing to find the love in the present moment is a powerful thing!

I hope that you're able to find some resolution with your current situation! In the meantime, I invite you to get to know us here at Bring4th! We have a very caring community so you are definitely not alone!

[Aaron]

Thank you for your post. No matter how lost you are, there seems to be always SOMEWHERE you can turn to find the light and kindle your own with it. And that's a good thing I think. haha

Monica: "While in the midst of an emotional upheaval it's often difficult to remember, but choosing to find the love in the present moment is a powerful thing!"

I'll echo that statement! I'll add that whenever you find yourself in the middle of drama, just first focus on being present "with every cell of your body" as Eckhart Tolle says. Once you have calm control over yourself and have an eye on your own inner reactions, you can let your outer reactions come naturally. You'll be surprised how people seem to react to your calming presence!

Good luck. I once read something like this somewhere "Walking the path of the Tao is like going alone into the night." It feels unsafe, but always ask yourself what you are actually fearing.

[ayadew]

I am you. You are me.
I'll always be with you.

[Lorna]

welcome pksmith

[Ali Quadir]

I've been lurking on these forums for a few months. I feel it's time to participate.

High time! You've been denying us your presence all this time! (But thanks for speaking up now )

Life isn't easy. But we're never really completely alone. It just seems that way. We're just a little lost on this planet fortunately we're lost together..

If you feel you want to speak about your current challenges, just throw them into the group. The worst that could happen is that we don't have an answer. But maybe someone manages to say something clever about it... That happens too

[pksmith]

Hey all, thanks for the responses!
I'm actually quite surprised at how making this post and receiving responses has made me feel. I feel sort of validated and at home all of a sudden, so thank you all for the warm energy. To find a forum on the internet, among the masses of negativity and confusion (ie youtube comments, conspiracy forums, celebrity gossip, whatever,) with so much CLARITY, where people actually consider each-other's words and extend rays of love from their hearts through the internet cloud to other hearts is totally a miracle. I feel all of a sudden plugged into a network of deep seeking human energy. I'll be a participant rather than a lurker from now on.

[Peregrinus]

It is better to be alone and wish you were with others, than to be with others and wish you were alone.

Here you will never be with others, or be alone, not that you ever really were. Welcome pk, it is our pleasure and privilege to have you among us. We love you and care for you deeply. Welcome

[ayadew]

Clarity perhaps in the way that we all aknowledge that we're all in the gutter but are looking for the stars!

[pksmith]

exactly.

[ayadew]

Coming to this forum always fills me with joy, and I come here often! haha

[Lavazza]

Physical reality is an illusion, all that really exists are thoughts. Your thoughts are with us and ours are with you. Welcome, brother.

[litllady]

Hello Phil....

Loneliness can be hard, but know you are loved and you have other selves who are very thankful for each path that is experienced here, your path is one of those. You are a gem and dont ever doubt this.

Love songs used to bring a feeling of loneliness to me, for I never thought I could find that perfect love. Guess what I think of now, with pure satisfaction, when I hear love songs? I think how much I am loved by my higher self, I can feel the love shining on me in that moment. As much as we might feel alone...we never are. Are roads might bring out the warrior and survivor within...and that is ok. Just know this is all such a small part of 'us'.

I think Ayadew said it best...

"I am you. You are me.
I'll always be with you."

[afrikan p]

Hey,
I've been lurking on these forums for a few months. I feel it's time to participate. I don't know what else to say now except that I am lonely, and need to feel like a part of a community of folks with similar experiences. I graduated from college last year and am still living in Oberlin, the tiny town where I went to school. I stayed in order to have the space to expand and to explore my music, but I've found myself living in a house with four intense women, and am feeling more and more suffocated. I've slacked immensely on my practicing (I was a classical guitar major), and a lot of my attention gets pulled into house dramas that I really shouldn't be hearing about of participating in. The more time I spend around other people the more alone I feel. It's hard to all of a sudden be on my own, and I gotta say I'm feeling pretty aloof. It's hard to find the right balance between intention-action and acceptance of my current reality. I could go into my situation more deeply, perhaps I'll write a wanderer story, but I really just want to reach out to all of you because I trust that you will understand the depth of my pain, even if I don't describe it with much precision.
Love
Phil

your not alone ! i to feel the same way as you do!

[Questioner]

Thank you for joining us, Phil, I look forward to our sharing ideas with each other.

I stayed in order to have the space to expand and to explore my music

It sounds like the situation have now is not at all related to the reason you stayed.

Are you more likely to get four dramatic women to become calm, or to find a place that's already quiet and calm for you? Such as your own apartment, or a home shared with quiet people who would happily respect your classical guitar time? (I'm in a different state but I'd be thrilled to have a roommate who liked to practice classical guitar, as long as he knocked off around 10pm to 8am.) Is there a connection now to the college, like any kind of guitarists workshop you can attend? If not, any particularly good reason to stay in the same town?

I'm not saying you should move, only that you don't have to assume you're stuck where you are

[Ali Quadir]

And a welcome to you too african P!

So many new noses