Greetings from the Dark

[Zaxon]

Greetings, I am Zaxon. I am a wanderer, and have my origin in the "negative" sixth density or beyond. The Law of One as conveyed by the entity Ra is distorted towards service to others (STO), so I recognize this may make some of you view me either as an enemy or antagonist. However, I assure you that I come to you in service of the Creator, as do all wanderers who chose to incarnate in this density.

I have only recently Awakened. However, the deep realization of unity with Creator was merely the culmination of a life long devotion to mastery and perfection of self. Each day brings new revelations, as I consciously pursue a path of furthering my understanding of Intelligent Infinity.

To facilitate understanding, I will include a brief personal history. My life has been a series of lessons in service to self, independence, and self sufficiency. I was born an only child, and have maintained an aloof and solitary disposition all of my life. My primary mode of interaction and existence is a highly logical one. Emotion has always been a rarely felt peripheral aspect of my existence. Upon Awakening I was filled with the joy and love of the Creator. This was an overwhelming experience, achieved through meditation on the nature of existence through reason. However, even during this realization I found both love and joy directed inwardly and towards the Creator - though I attained greater understanding of others, I remained fundamentally dispassionate towards them. In many ways, at the height of my Awakening experience others were both less real and more distant than ever before.

It was only upon research into this phenomena, where I encountered the Ra material, that I began to remember. I have only begun understanding my past, present, and future and the unity of all three.

-Zaxon

[Plenum]

greetings Brother Zaxon!

I can tell from your words that you are earnest and are committed to the Eternal Truth. I am sure you have many lessons to teach us; for discipline and activation of the Will are common to both paths. You are well schooled in these.

if you have any understanding of the archetypes (the tarot) I would be keen to hear these; as it is a particular interest of mine. They were some of the last thoughts that Ra left us.

welcome.

[Zaxon]

Greetings, Plenum.

Yes, I believe there to be great opportunity for teaching/learning here. Attaining a more perfect understanding of all things is a significant concern of mine.

Unfortunately, I have not yet made it to this portion of the Ra material. I find that I must progress through this material somewhat slower than others might, as some things resonate while others strike a cord of discordance. Therefore, I must carefully parse and digest the material, incorporating into my understanding what resonates and searching inward where I find incongruency or omissions. That being said, I have held an Agnostic/Atheistic view of the world for the larger part of my existence. I sought knowledge of the esoteric realms as an adolescent out of an inner seeking - but eventually abandoned the pursuit when I found much of the information to either be frivolous, incorrect, or intuition absent discernment. Going forward I firmly grounded myself in the present and intellectual, and meticulously constructed the human facade that serves me to this day. Therefore, I have many knowledge gaps concerning esoteric/spiritual pursuits - a deficiency I am dedicating significant resources to amending.

-Zaxon

[kycahi]

Welcome to these forums, Zaxon. Most users here are in service to others, so you may find us annoying, boring or frustrating, but stick around as long as you wish.

No surprise that the Law of One is slow going. Still, you likely will find a lot of useful information there.

[Oldern]

Welcome in the forums, Zaxon! I hope you enjoy your time here and get to improve spiritually further and further.
May I say that I felt some familiarity in your story, but mine has a twist in it - as in the middle of solitude, logic and "caring only for myself", my catalysts have pushed me into loving everyone around me instead of pursuing an "sts" goal. Not that it matters though, we are all unique in our ways of going forward.

[Meerie]

Greetings, and welcome to the forum.

Looking forward to hearing more of you!

[Zaxon]

Greetings Oldern,

I am cognizant of the potentiality of a highly polarized entity switching polarity. Prior to dedicating myself fully to the conscious pursuit of the STS path, I forced myself into a STO orientation so that I might make a more informed decision. I learned much from this experience, as to both the value and allure of the STO orientation. I believe being able to experience the duality/unity of polarity is a imperative step in the spiritual progression of any entity. However, in my exploration of the STO orientation there was also that which I found incongruous with my primal distortions towards STS.

The unified Creator - without distortion or separateness - consists of forces that both pull its infinite energy towards itself, as well as forces that in the totality of unity are separate, utterly independent, and all encompassing. As intelligent energy progresses back to the Creator, these tendencies are manifested in the STO and STS orientations, with those of an STO orientation manifesting the pulling togetherness of the Creator, and those of the STS orientation seeking the knowingness and completeness of self. This latter aspect is the primal impulse of my being that calls to the Creator.

-Zaxon

---

Greetings Meerie,

I have always deeply understood and empathized with what is termed Aspergers syndrome. I believe it to be a dysfunctional manifestation of someone with a STS orientation. However, I would say I differ from someone with this dysfunction in several fairly significant ways. Perhaps most significantly, I do not have trouble understanding or relating to other's emotions. I find that I have exceptional emotional and empathic acuity. Within a few moments of meeting someone I can easily summarize their emotional state, inclinations, basic desires, and most significant defects. However, where one of an STO orientation may become submerged and/or immeshed in the other-self, I am unaffected by the encounter. Another significant departing point is that my emotional intelligence and empathic abilities have allowed me to construct a compelling, charming, and even charismatic human facade. Because I am easily able to "read" a person, it takes no effort for me to manifest a demeanor that most find pleasing and disarming. My natural state most closely resembles that of the "Vulcan," and it is that aspect that I express here.

-Zaxon

[3DMonkey]

Welcome Zaxon

You say your remembering came through reading LOO? I'm curious if you had any remembrance of the terms "service to self" or "sixth density" before crossing paths with the material.

( cool name. I can't read it without thinking 'Zaxon, zaxoff' )

[Zaxon]

Greetings 3DMonkey,

As I said previously, I have been on the STS path my entire life. Both consciously and unconsciously I have manifested the traits of an STS entity since early childhood. I have always had an INTJ Myers-Brigg personality, that has been stable since early childhood, with Thinking and Judgement at the 100% quartile, and Introversion and Intuition at the 80-90% quartiles. Also, even though I have never seen STS as a spiritual path per se, I have spent the last decade or so actively engaged in its pursuit and philosophical understanding. One of my bachelors degrees is in philosophy, where I wrote my thesis on the necessity of the evolutionary imperatives of survival and fitness to inform societal values and ethical systems. At this time I wrote from an Agnostic/Atheistic perspective, and it is only recently that this philosophy has taken on spiritual significance.

-Zaxon

[Meerie]

Thanks Zaxon
(I later eliminated the part about Aspergers, because I thought it might be inappropriate )
actually it is interesting that you mention the Vulcan aspect, since I was thinking of Spock and also Sheldon from BigBangtheory too.
They are both fascinating characters to me, since I am quite the opposite - more feeling than intellect.
I got a feeling you have a lot to contribute to the forums.
Glad you are here!

[Zaxon]

Meerie,

You will find that short of infringing on my personal sovereignty I am extraordinarily difficult to offend.

-Zaxon

[3DMonkey]

At this time I wrote from an Agnostic/Atheistic perspective, and it is only recently that this philosophy has taken on spiritual significance.

-Zaxon

Only recently have I begun to appreciate the atheistic perspective, and also how to find the spiritual aspects within it. For me, I have come from a highly spiritual (or imaginary) perspective and found how it is grounded in science. Would say you are walking a similar path from a different direction?

[Zaxon]

3DMonkey,

The Agnostic/Atheistic paradigm was a necessary step in my spiritual progression. It solidified my understanding of separateness and independence, as well as the idea that I am complete in and of myself. Religiosity and many spiritual understandings engender dependence and a master/slave mentality, where the supplicant is ever the weak and trembling slave to a separate all mighty Creator. I found these notions repulsive on a fundamental level from my earliest exposure to them, and rejected them.

Of course we are on the same path, all travel from unity with the Creator, through the illusion of separateness, back to unity. Duality is the illusion of separateness that instigates change, and movement back towards unity. All of our differences are merely aspects of the Creator.

I wrote an article outlining how a logical mind discovers the Creator and unity. I will post it in the blog section.

-Zaxon

[3DMonkey]

I think independence and dependence are both too extreme for balance in a social memory complex. I think the truth is we are all interdependent, and discovering that the spirit of the mind/body/spirit paradigm is the same across all perspectives is paramount to progress. (of course, there are persons operating in the lower chakras that still have not discovered that the minds/bodies are equal)

[Zaxon]

3DMonkey,

Either interdependence or dominance is necessary to form a social-memory complex. However, the social-memory complex is a thing used out of necessity to achieve a mutual objective for STS entities. It is a thing tolerated, but is neither desired or aspired to.

-Zaxon

[3DMonkey]

Do you prefer the dominance style society, as an STS entity?

[Zaxon]

3DMonkey,

I prefer independence and freedom. My most basic desire is to be alone with the Creator, without distraction. The relative frailty of these corporal bodies requires humanity to live in what you call "society" - I find this to be an unfortunate and unpleasant condition. I prefer a libertarian social structure, where entities loosely associate where they have a mutual cause or interest, but otherwise take responsibility for their own lives. I believe societal structures to make the individual dumb, weak, and complacent. Below I have reposted some of what I wrote in another thread about the misconceptions of STS entities.

"It is not surprising that a STO entity would view a STS social-memory complex as chaotic, given its tendency to disintegrate and reintegrate. However, this perception comes from a misunderstanding of STS entities. While STS entities are capable of forming social-memory complexes, this is not our desired or preferred state of existence. STS entities form social-memory complexes when it is necessary and beneficial to the self to do so. A thing that occurs when there is either existential threat, or to a achieve a mutual objective that cannot be achieved alone. As soon as the objective or threat is eliminated the STS social-memory complex loses focus and tends towards entropy as the association has outlived its utility.

The STS distortion towards power is a byproduct of the fundamental distortion/desire towards independence, separateness, and freedom. Things that can only be achieved by becoming as strong as the strongest force that threatens your selfhood an independence. This is the source of what you might refer to as the "distortion towards power." It is also this distortion that causes the top down structure of what you refer to as the Orion Group. Only the most powerful entity in the group will be capable of marshaling the energies of the individual STS entities to form a social-memory complex, as each STS's desire for for either separateness or control causes entropy that must be overcome by a stronger ordering force. Entities capable of marshaling this much power and control will typically be either high fourth density or above. I believe the threat or objective would have to be significant for a fifth density or higher STS entity to involve itself in such an undertaking, as it faces few threats, and its main objective is unity with the Creator and understanding of self. In this respect the higher orders of STS entities will be extraordinarily detached and other-selves will have lost most of their utility, as there are few things that cannot be accomplished by the self. Therefore, the character of the Orion Group will often fluctuate, being dependent upon the mastering personality/entity. I believe the "negative" manifestations of STS are largely a result of high fourth density entities who yet enjoy power for power's sake."

-Zaxon

[drifting pages]

Zaxon, how do you see love in your life ?

In any way shape or form.

[Zaxon]

Drifting Pages,

As I understand it, the STO orientation strives for unconditional love which is to be universally given. For the STS oriented entity, love is directed toward the Creator, and the self as a specific manifestation/aspect of the Creator. Love of other-selves, when/if given, is given conditionally to the extent that the other-self is a reflection of the self as a manifestation of the Creator.

It may surprise you to know that I have a mate. For all intents and purposes she is as close to a female version of myself as possible in this density. She is a wanderer, like myself, with her origin in the same or similar density as my own. Neither of us "dated" either casually or seriously before meeting one another. In fact, we were both primarily asexual. Upon meeting one another, a sort of fusion occurred, with the more dominant entity (me) prevailing in the minor ways that we were different. That being said, our relationship is based on duty, respect, and understanding - with the explicit understanding that love is conditional, and must be daily earned.

-Zaxon

[Liet]

I have always deeply understood and empathized with what is termed Aspergers syndrome. I believe it to be a dysfunctional manifestation of someone with a STS orientation. However, I would say I differ from someone with this dysfunction in several fairly significant ways. Perhaps most significantly, I do not have trouble understanding or relating to other's emotions. I find that I have exceptional emotional and empathic acuity. Within a few moments of meeting someone I can easily Summarize their emotional state, inclinations, basic desires, and most significant defects.
However, where one of an STO orientation may become submerged and/or immeshed in the other-self, I am unaffected by the encounter. Another significant departing point is that my emotional intelligence and empathic abilities have allowed me to construct a compelling, charming, and even charismatic human facade. Because I am easily able to "read" a person, it takes no effort for me to manifest a demeanor that most find pleasing and disarming. My natural state most closely resembles that of the "Vulcan," and it is that aspect that I express here.

The aspergers personality type is one with a pineal gland is abnormaly strong, at the cost of the solar plexus.
The things written in above quote seem to tell the tale of you having them both strong.

[BlatzAdict]

I haven't read the whole thread sorry... Children start out STS because their higher chakras are not activated yet until around the 16th birthday when the third eye chakra starts to form and energize hence most peoples experiences of waking up but not being able to move around that age.

Also I didn't really have a sense of others around me until I turned 18 or 19.. never finalized until 24

We grow towards STO on the path to wisdom. at least thats my interpretation.. then again u have people like madonna who are.. well... everyone has their choices. all is one.

[Zaxon]

Liet,

Yes, I believe this is correct. Since Awakening these chakras have been in an constant state of pulsation. I have found that I have a great deal of control over each chakra, and can charge one or all with energy. Meditation for me typically involves drawing energy inward at the solar plexus and upward and out the crown chakra. Since Awakening the power of these chakras and the energy moving within me is physically felt, making the body feel like an overflowing vessel stretching to accommodate greater volume.

-Zaxon

[Liet]

Liet,

Yes, I believe this is correct. Since Awakening these chakras have been in an constant state of pulsation. I have found that I have a great deal of control over each chakra, and can charge one or all with energy. Meditation for me typically involves drawing energy inward at the solar plexus and upward and out the crown chakra. Since Awakening the power of these chakras and the energy moving within me is physically felt, making the body feel like an overflowing vessel stretching to accommodate greater volume.

-Zaxon

Now i'm curious as to how are they physicaly felt to someone of your balance.
For me me its somewhere between an extremely fine semi-soft static, and silk....
This energy is moing both within my body and right on the outside equaly.

Theres a direct corelation to how this energy is felt (and how the noise within your head sounds, and the colors when you close your eyes look) and the state of ones energybody as a whole, you currently are the only missing piece in my puzzle.

[Zaxon]

Liet,

The energy is felt as power, a soft pulsing when at rest, and as a crackling torrent that shakes the body when focussed upon. I believe my energy body to be of a silver luminescent nature, at least this is the image that comes to mind when I envision it. When I flood myself with energy, I feel akin to a cosmic law - dispassionate power, acting on preordained principles. There is much integration of polarity in me - I am very balanced. Polarity is not my preferred state. I view it is a necessary aspect of this density and many of the higher ones, because it is by this mechanism that the Creator reintegrates and experiences itself. My preference is oneness/completeness with Creator.

-Zaxon

[Sagittarius]

What role will you play in coming events? I assume you are not here to polarize towards STO ?

[Zaxon]

Sagittarius,

All walk a path from oneness with Creator, through the illusion of separateness, back to unity. Those who wander all serve the basic mission of facilitating unity with Creator. My mission is no different. I believe my primary mission is to be channel for the light/love of the Creator, to increase the planetary frequency. In doing this I also help both wanderers and third density entities Awaken and rid themselves of defect. While it is true that a highly polarized entity can switch polarity, the uncharged/unawakened entity must first polarize in one direction or the other, to refine the will and attain the gateway to intelligent infinity. Do to the karmic path and primal distortions of a given entity, they may be inclined to one or the other polarities. Therefore, one path may be a more expedient and efficient means of progressing. At the present time, there are many unpolarized/unawakened entities on this planet, that waffle back and forth from incarnation to incarnation between STO and STS, never truly achieving polarization and the gateways to intelligent infinity. I believe this is largely attributable to the respective efforts of fourth density entities to "aid" these entities, so that they may chose the "right path." The ultimate polarization of an entity is of no moment to me. Attainment of the gateway of intelligent infinity and progression towards unity with the Creator is my only concern. I do this primarily by balancing entities close to awakening, and removing defective energy patterns. If the entity wishes to progress in the ways of the STS orientation I instruct them, teaching the path I know best.

-Zaxon

[abstrktion]

Hi Zaxon,
I'm curious about how you would see participation in this forum as beneficial to you. It is "social" and predominantly "love-based." Why would you want to share your views and your path? How do you see this as self-oriented service? Or are you hoping for converts?

I guess I don't see the desire for freedom and independence as "negative". Eventually the adept must be impersonal in all his or her doings--even in the relationship to self. This will seem "evil" to some because it breaks through the predictable ties upon which society relies (the experience of the Matrix of the Spirit (p. 50 of Book IV or session #80.10).

Here are a few other thoughts on the balance of Love and Wisdom from a source I trust:
“Different souls are at different stages of evolution. At one time mankind was of the grade of evolution of the plants today; and there are still a very great many souls which are at the level of evolution of the animals…but the greater majority of mankind, in civilized countries, have drawn clear of this stage…and are in a transition stage between being completely Group ruled and being individualized. Towards such, compassion needs to be shown; and to them come the Masters of Compassion and those who serve Them, helping those on the painful path of individualization. For when they are in the transition stage they are, in varying degrees helpless and irresponsible, freed from the perfect control of the Group Soul, not yet in full control of their own destinies. To such, God is Love, because the God whom as individuals they adore blindly, takes the place to them of the Group Soul; but to those who have achieved individualization and are responsible for their own destiny, God is Truth, and their need is not compassion, but understanding. …It is only individualized souls that are suitable for initiation, but there are many souls who, in the course of achieving individualization have acquired deformities (I think Ra would say “distortions”)…the correcting of a deformity is painful, and it cannot be helped…We do what we can to mitigate the pain by teaching the sufferer to cooperate, but there will come a time…when such orthopedic methods are seen to be producing no results, and then the Spiritual Surgeon breaks down forcibly the adhesions of the soul which are preventing growth…There is no substitute for discrimination, sound judgment, and adequate knowledge.”
I believe this might be the difference between “Love/Light” as compassion (4D) and “Light/Love” as wisdom (5D). Even Ra says, “The practice of magical workings demands the most rigorous honesty” (Book IV, page 37) and further “The faculty of faith or will needs to be understood, nourished, and developed in order to have an entity which seeks past the boundary of third density. Those entities which do not do their homework, be they ever so amiable, shall not cross” (Book IV, page 71). RA takes up the issue of balancing compassion and wisdom on page 93 of Book IV, noting that “there are many subtleties to which the adept may give careful consideration…Love and wisdom…are faces of the same coin” not a progression from a lower to a higher sphere of understanding.

But when I think of the STS path, I think of those who are willing to coerce and control others, to harm and exploit others for their own benefit--deliberately and consciously choosing to supress the truth that they know inside: The "Other-self" is as much "Creator" as they are. Not wanting to be "entangled" and reach out in service is not the same thing as seeking others out to vampirize them, nor do I believe it to be a question of emotion vs. logic. It is logical to respect others as well as self if one knows all are part of the Creator.

Further, all love is somewhat conditional here. It is part of the 3D experience. Root chakra makes sure of that. We typically cannot be free of it.

[Zaxon]

Abstrktion,

The act of explanation increases my understanding. As I force into words that which is deeply known, I increase understanding. I also learn by understanding other's misapprehensions. I found many misconceptions in the Ra material regarding the STS path. The material is strongly biased by the holy/evil paradigm of the scribe group, as well as the STO orientation of the Ra entity. I offer what I believe to be a more balanced view for any who have interest in it. However, this is not a primary or even secondary concern.

I am biased both towards light/love and unity, in other words, I receive the love of the Creator and achieve unity with the Creator, by understanding the Creator. Both the third and fourth density are highly polarized volatile planes of existence. Entities of this density begin to understand unity, but retain primal biases to one or the other polarities. There is a tendency then, consciously or subconsciously, to evangelize one's particular distortion. I am both puzzled and bemused by this phenomena. A sixth density understanding of polarity recognizes it as illusion. The Creator exists in both passive and active states. In the illusion of separateness we are the Creator in an active state of self exploration, moving back towards the Creator by the twin impulses that draw us together (love) and those that make us unified and complete (will). The Creator in a passive unified state is the ultimate balance of STO (love) and STS (will) energies. In other words, the illusion of separateness ends, and the Creator is unified and indivisibly complete. As an entity moves through 6th and 7th densities it strives for the balancing of these impulses. Once perfectly alined love encompasses the self, which is all, and will has unified mastery of the whole.

-Zaxon

[Sagittarius]

Sagittarius,

All walk a path from oneness with Creator, through the illusion of separateness, back to unity. Those who wander all serve the basic mission of facilitating unity with Creator. My mission is no different. I believe my primary mission is to be channel for the light/love of the Creator, to increase the planetary frequency. In doing this I also help both wanderers and third density entities Awaken and rid themselves of defect. While it is true that a highly polarized entity can switch polarity, the uncharged/unawakened entity must first polarize in one direction or the other, to refine the will and attain the gateway to intelligent infinity. Do to the karmic path and primal distortions of a given entity, they may be inclined to one or the other polarities. Therefore, one path may be a more expedient and efficient means of progressing. At the present time, there are many unpolarized/unawakened entities on this planet, that waffle back and forth from incarnation to incarnation between STO and STS, never truly achieving polarization and the gateways to intelligent infinity. I believe this is largely attributable to the respective efforts of fourth density entities to "aid" these entities, so that they may chose the "right path." The ultimate polarization of an entity is of no moment to me. Attainment of the gateway of intelligent infinity and progression towards unity with the Creator is my only concern. I do this primarily by balancing entities close to awakening, and removing defective energy patterns. If the entity wishes to progress in the ways of the STS orientation I instruct them, teaching the path I know best.

-Zaxon

I see. How many have asked for guidance in making the choice of STS ? What will happen to you when the planet polarizes 5d positive ?

What are the differences between a lower density sts entity and one higher up such as yourself? Are the lower density entities more cruel and domineering towards other self's ? Is the experience of tyrant/hateful violence just another step on the STS path?

Thankyou for your answers, they have been extremely insightful.

[abstrktion]

The act of explanation increases my understanding. As I force into words that which is deeply known, I increase understanding.

This makes sense. Thank you for clarifying.

The Creator exists in both passive and active states. In the illusion of separateness we are the Creator in an active state of self exploration, moving back towards the Creator by the twin impulses that draw us together (love) and those that make us unified and complete (will). The Creator in a passive unified state is the ultimate balance of STO (love) and STS (will) energies. In other words, the illusion of separateness ends, and the Creator is unified and indivisibly complete. As an entity moves through 6th and 7th densities it strives for the balancing of these impulses. Once perfectly alined love encompasses the self, which is all, and will has unified mastery of the whole.

-Zaxon

I enjoyed the clarity and depth in your expression, particularly the understanding of the Creator as active and passive; I see this as "form" and "force" and relate it to the Tree of Life.

May I ask what works have been the most formative of your philosophy? You mentioned a philosophy degree.

Several years ago I painted my understanding of "Unity," I've attached it. Here is the description:
“Union” represents the eventual rejoining of all that is currently separate in the universe. Conceive of all life as having been derived from an impulse sent forth from a Center Point. This one impulse grew aware of itself and as it did so, it began to divide. And the divisions grew aware of themselves, thus they became intelligences (swirls and spirals of different colors). These intelligences began to have preferences. The intelligences gathered together, like with like, and began to organize (grouping of swirls in the left top corner). And from the great revolving spheres where the intelligences organized, grew many kinds of other beings (the Kokopelli-like creature on the right side of the painting). At a point in the future, all will again return to Source, for ultimately, all is One (blue and yellow interlacing egg shape at the middle of the painting signifying the joining of opposites).