Ok, I never thought I'd consider this, but... (Masonry)

[Gribbons]

I've hit a big change in my life. I had to withdraw from the university I've longed to attend my whole life, and had to leave in my final semester. A girl that led me on, and who I had asked God for nearly two years, if she was the one, and got positive signs confirming she was, filed a charge against me and I had to leave.

I'm basically on a form of house arrest at the moment, and, while I was in jail for 3 days/3 nights, I did meet a man who helped me with my faith and my issues in overly-trusting people. If anyone has read the book, The Peaceful Warrior, he was the closest person to Socrates I've ever met.

So I'm at home, thankfully, by God and my dad. All I can do is hopefully get my old job back, if not, find one I don't even like. We're tight on money and this is all I can do. Also, this is 2012, so I've suspected this is a part of God's plan, as I have felt nearly all my life I was meant for something bigger than just getting a degree and fitting into the system.

The church is good for me. I go to a non-demoninational church, and sometimes attend a college church group. Which can be fun, BUT...

I've always been highly suspicious of freemasons. In fact, this new years eve, I went to a friend-of-a-friends party. The friend who brought me there, I've never known to have any association with freemasonry, and he doesn't, but his friend, who I kind of knew in the past, is a part of a family that is. There were 4 or 5 overt freemasons there at the party. I talked with them for a while, nicely and everything. To me, it kind of seemed like interesting catalyst to me, as it was random, and maybe i was there to see for myself they aren't bad people. To me, they seemed a bit stiff- like, fortified in yellow chakra, like there was something up their butts I couldn't quite put my finger on.

All my life I've been STO, and I've read that it's quite possibly an STS organization, but, being stuck here in my house, looking for guidance beyond the Bring4th and ATS forums, the thought came to mind that maybe I should join the masons. I've kinda always liked the idea of joining a guild, you could say, and with it being a spiritual guild, you'd think I'd really like the idea. I have managed to go through the trials of joining a fraternity in college, and while I learned stuff going through that, I felt misfit as a brother. In fact, I felt I could hardly breathe at times, because I felt my heart-chakra was being closed off entirely.

I want to be a part of something bigger, and masonry would allow me to talk to older, wiser people that I could talk spiritually with that doesn't have the prejudice-bias that I find in most churches, but I am uncertain. I've been firmly against the idea of secret societies for a long time, but the idea does seem fun to me. Ever since I accidentally found the lawofone.info, I've been entranced by learning more about life, infinity, purpose, and freedom by God.

But for the time I resisted the idea, I kind of thought, well Jesus is against these kinds of organizations. Hiding in the shadows... spirituality is something should be brought to light, and not contained in the dogmatic principles of religion! I mean, if there is a Satan trying to overtake the world, secret societies with a facade of God and helping children would be the way to work undercover...

Talk to me about your thoughts on freemasonry. I am all about love and service to others, and would never sacrifice my principles and ideals, even for a collective, But I am in a spot in my life I never thought I would be in, and I would like to talk to people as open-minded, or as crazy as me! Face-to-face, regularly, you know what I mean?

In fact, an old high-school classmate was at that party, and he sent me a text not to long ago about something random, and I've never even talked to him on facebook, let alone trade numbers with him.... are they trying to recruit me? Am I falling into a trap? ...

[Ashim]

The work and initiations of the Masons is freely available, just as the OT levels of scientology.
You dont have to 'get on the bandwagon' to get the understanding.
However, there is a chance that you made an agreemnet in your soul contract to receive specific training from a particular institution.
If you feel this in your heart then its ok.

There are white and dark brotherhoods in all the earth based mystery schools.

[Gribbons]

I'm looking in the secret societies forum of ATS...

The church has lifted the spirits of man, united people, doesn't discriminate between men and women, but at the same time they have been the source of war, prejudice, and the ensuing ignorance that results from keeping their people's minds in a closed-box.

It's POSSIBLE that a secret society exists to bypass the biggest fraudulent order in the world in a way that their people are protected. it makes the whole masonic symbols on the dollar not look so bad for once... i mean, the founding fathers were masons and they made the best, free-thinking, love for life and liberty documents ever written. they did not go through all of that for some grand conspiracy..

---

to think that they did would go against ALL capacities to trust another human being. everyone becomes a conspirator at that point. we need to get ourselves free of the paranoia

[abstrktion]

Sometimes things are kept secret because they are sacred. But I know nothing of the masons. I'm just REALLY leery of anything that requires any kind of oath from me. Only God gets that kind of allegiance, not an organization or institution. On the other hand, years after my close relationship with a man I deeply respected ended, he became a mason. I cannot imagine him being involved in anything nefarious (this would be a masonic group in the south of France--don't know if they are different in different places.)
I'd say follow your gut; you really know what you're doing better than anyone else!
It could be a positive or negative experience and either way, you'll learn and grow from it. Best of luck!

[Gribbons]

what do you think of it, as a woman? would it make me untrustworthy if you were to meet me (if i were a mason)?

---

I don't think it's something I want to be a part of, but I feel, wild inside. I need a group of people that can help me. And God has been the main interest in my life since I read the Ra Material. This IS a road to go down, but I honestly never thought I would go to them.

But a reason I don't want to be a part of it, is because people distrust it. Generally, you know. It kind of makes me, elitist and secretive in their eyes. And I know what they mean, but I also know what the masons mean.

[abstrktion]

I'm not into conspiracy theories and all that, so I wouldn't immediately distrust anyone (well, except walking down a dark alley at night)--and I've been part of a religious group that people distrusted, but I know from the inside that this distrust was unwarranted, that I grew closer to Christ in that group.

I'm sure you can find STO and STS in any group. It's who you are that counts. But place your trust in God and your guides, not in other people.

[Gribbons]

But I am also trying to find/let me Twin Flame come to me. If you've seen my other threads, you'd understand. I already feel different inside thinking about joining than I did before, but before, I felt more... uncontrollable. Passionate, but sporadic. Up and down. I feel reasonable now. I hate to let go of passion because I link that to creativity. But I've messed up a couple times now, big time. I'm not sure what to do, that's why I'm considering this.

I'm not depressed, but I feel somewhat heartless. I don't know what to do. The church is good when I'm there... but masonry kinda kills the animal in me. Which is good to a degree, but I fear I won't be as natural, or creative, or as good in bed. lol I want to be me, but because of these changes in my life, it's hard to trust me!

---

I feel as if I'm deciding on whether or not to join the Army lol

[Diana]

My boyfriend's uncle (now deceased, a wealthy business owner) was a 33rd-degree Mason. He would not tell us what they were up to at the top of the organization, but he told us that the hierarchy is very much closed: the members at the bottom have no idea what the real agendas are up through the ranks. He intimated that there was some truth to the conspiracies surrounding the society.

However, whatever path you feel compelled to follow, go for it. And as for relationships, I recommend that you focus on yourself and your mission and goals. Relationships will fall into place naturally, so you don't have to look for them.

[Gribbons]

I'd rather honor my vows to my wife over an organization. if I had one. But right now, i'm feeling, with how many mistakes i've made following my heart, if i'd ever get one. that's why i'm scared. i went with my feelings for so long, and they backfired. you know what i mean?

---

i don't think i'm going to join. i'm filling this up for my lack of self-esteem. i'm better than that. what do you think are good self-esteem builders?

[Oceania]

if there's a void in you, can fill that void by doing good deeds for other people and going within, meditating and finding your passion. and when you're full inside, your love will come. abraham teaches that neediness only repels, when you aren't desperate but are engaged in things you love, you'll attract your mate. be it the person you want or someone else. maybe your need for a quick fix gets you in trouble. i've had similar problems. try to look into why you feel that way. maybe some chakra balancing and focusing on doing good will help. i wish you well.

[@ndy]

Gribbons - How would you feel about keeping secreats from friends and loved ones?

The Masons requires that you do that. You take an oath to keep their seacrets, even from your partner/your own children (should you get some) your parents.

How would you feel to be in a situation where someone you loved was looking to 'share' in that part of you life.... and you were 'oath' sworn not to tell them?

I just asked as I experainced this with my Father --- (He was recurted at a low point in his life after my Mothers death) It was the first time we were unable to be open about anything. He's out of them again now wich he is glad about - but it was not easy for him to leave.

[drifting pages]

I personally wouldn't join.

But if you are feeling attracted to it, maybe you should do a test drive, doesn't matter what the mason group says about oaths and rules and whatnot if it not of your liking, simply walk away.

Unless they are a terrorist group or a mafia group which i believe they are not, i don't see the harm.

What do you think ?

[Aureus]

Keep in mind who the "Illuminati" are. IF the teachings between lodges are similar, then I would advise you to avoid their societies. Also keep in mind the countless of oaths and levels you need to complete before they let you in on the juicy parts. You might just end up in chains.

You have infinity within, you don't need a secret group to fulfill yourself.

[apeiron]

Keep in mind who the "Illuminati" are. IF the teachings between lodges are similar, then I would advise you to avoid their societies. Also keep in mind the countless of oaths and levels you need to complete before they let you in on the juicy parts. You might just end up in chains.

You have infinity within, you don't need a secret group to fulfill yourself.

I agree.

Have you considered getting a pet if you don't have one? Dog, etc? They are big responsibility too, so maybe it's not the best idea at this time for you.

The situation you are in can make you a stronger person.

[BlatzAdict]

What about the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn?
I think thats an STO spiritual guild.

---

I'd like to add you are already part of something bigger. just by being at that party you brought your energy with you to the fields of those other selves.
I think that an imprint is left if you are one of the transmitters.

The point is to anchor light, and the funny thing is many find that being an anchor sets you aside from other spiritual individuals. I have meant many who I consider close but no one on a day to day basis. Because we are to be spread out over the planet, to anchor in the ascension light. I think you are part of something bigger that your higher self is over seeing.

---

It's just many of us don't know it because it's not in our plan to know, it would not befit the experience at hand, and take away from the realness of this reality. It would also lessen the amount of catalyst, and end experience for the sum total of all experience.

I think.

[Oceania]

i wouldn't test drive the masons. i doubt they'll take kindly to that kind of dabbling. and if you wanna join and advance, it's like buying a box whose contents are not known. what if the upper levels turn out to be less than nice and you can't leave? seriously, magic and secret societies are not for fun.

[Gribbons]

Thank you for the thoughts. I'm not going to join the masons. I was just resorting to thinking about it because I was so down last night, and the thought kind of nulled the heart for me. But I feel much better today. In fact, I just meditated for an hour on love. I cried in so many ways during, but I also felt my heart opening up, and I smiled very naturally and happily.

I'm just gonna stick with that. Turns out, the way I meditate effectively is by mantra, not so much by just silencing my mind, because that's impossible for me at this point with how much blockage I have. Lol

[Oceania]

what mantras do you use, if i can ask? i like om mani padme hum and gayatri mantra,

[abstrktion]

I'd like to add you are already part of something bigger.

The point is to anchor light, and the funny thing is many find that being an anchor sets you aside from other spiritual individuals. I have meant many who I consider close but no one on a day to day basis. Because we are to be spread out over the planet, to anchor in the ascension light. I think you are part of something bigger that your higher self is over seeing.

---

It's just many of us don't know it because it's not in our plan to know, it would not befit the experience at hand, and take away from the realness of this reality. It would also lessen the amount of catalyst, and end experience for the sum total of all experience.

I think.

I think you're right on with this.

The void in people's lives is the illusion of separation we're here to work with--we did this on purpose because it would provide stronger catalyst. In fact, RA calls the experience prior to veiling and free will “pallid” and the “lessons were garnered with the relative speed of the turtle to the cheetah.” (pages 42 and 67 of book IV talk of this).

Nevertheless, I know I sometimes think to myself, "what the hell was I thinking?" and "why in the world would I plan THIS?"...I mean, basically, we thought it would be a great idea to cut ourselves off from "reality" and create a fantasy world where we sit blindfolded by the veil trying to pin the tail on the donkey, so to speak...Kind of crazy...I guess that's where faith comes in...but when I think about it in these terms instead of in those oh-so-serious guru-Great White Brotherhood terms, I laugh. And laughter is good.

One more thought on the twin flame thing Gibbons mentioned...all time and space is here and now. Those that have twin flames are already One in the higher self. We can call on that when feeling low and isolated; but we split on this plane so that we can gain a fullness of experience. You can't engage with the world if you're too absorbed with yourself...yourselves...

[Gribbons]

what mantras do you use, if i can ask? i like om mani padme hum and gayatri mantra,

I guess it's not really a mantra. I just keep repeating 'love' in my head and focused on it as best as I could. It really worked for me as it dug out a lot of unworthiness, questions, experiences that got me into this hole. Doing this actually got me back outside to meditate again on a guy I never really liked. He's the boyfriend of the girl I've been in love with (she had a crush on me at one time, but, long story, and it doesn't mean anything anymore. i'm actually hoping for an explanation in a dream, because a lot of it doesn't make sense and i think she was leading me on..) but i digress, i've never wanted to take him into heart, so i meditated on his name and found i actually do like the guy, and love him, because he loves the girl I love, and if she's happy, then I guess I'm happy too. as long as she's protected and loved, that's all i can ask for really.

its only day one though. i'm sure i'll dig up more stuff tomorrow, but i feel a little bit better honestly.

The point is to anchor light, and the funny thing is many find that being an anchor sets you aside from other spiritual individuals. I have meant many who I consider close but no one on a day to day basis. Because we are to be spread out over the planet, to anchor in the ascension light. I think you are part of something bigger that your higher self is over seeing.

thank you for this. i do feel, while i probably had karma with this guy that led me to leave the university, i feel i probably have something to do here. i wasn't of much use up there, ya know? not a lot of people liked me outside of the classroom. and perhaps the degree won't mean as much in the near future... i felt the place was caving in on me. i wish i had meditated more, but honestly, i was too close to the source of my drama to deal with it level-headedly. i was very up and down. very loving this minute, angry and in a bad mood the next. it's kind of sad really. but, i say i was following my heart, and its not like i just imagined this whole thing and this girl liking me, even just a little bit, but it wasn't meant to be, so that's why i'm down here with my family again most likely.

Those that have twin flames are already One in the higher self.

Like they've already resolved their karma and are at peace/one with themselves, thus capable of seeing/meeting/supporting their twin flames? or something else..? cause i had a lot of faith this girl and i were going to work out, and there were some pretty weird and unlikely coincidences putting us together at times, but it seems that isn't everything, or even signs even. /endquasicynicism

i'm trying to contact my higher self. haven't tried real hard, but i try to hold onto a question as i'm going to bed, hoping i get some kind of answer. any suggestions? i need to know if i went wrong in my pursuit for this girl or if i'm down here for some bigger purpose...ah forget it, i was wrong. i just want to know why i was led to believe things would work out better than this.

[Oceania]

what i understand, twin flames go through many lifetimes with other people, because they are so strongly one that they need to have their own experiences. they come together in the end. or i could be wrong.

[abstrktion]

Those that have twin flames are already One in the higher self.

Like they've already resolved their karma and are at peace/one with themselves, thus capable of seeing/meeting/supporting their twin flames? or something else..? cause i had a lot of faith this girl and i were going to work out, and there were some pretty weird and unlikely coincidences putting us together at times, but it seems that isn't everything, or even signs even. /endquasicynicism

i'm trying to contact my higher self. haven't tried real hard, but i try to hold onto a question as i'm going to bed, hoping i get some kind of answer. any suggestions? i need to know if i went wrong in my pursuit for this girl or if i'm down here for some bigger purpose...ah forget it, i was wrong. i just want to know why i was led to believe things would work out better than this.

I think sometimes we don't let ourselves see the end so that we'll make the journey--and sometimes this means heading in the opposite direction of where we'll eventually end up. There's a great country song called, "I Thank God for Unanswered Prayers" that lends some wisdom in love. Hang in there!

Here's a link to some Qu'o material on the higher self: http://www.llresearch.org/transcripts/is..._0108.aspx

[kycahi]

This is not advice on whether to join the Masons. My granddaddy was one and I thought he was a really good man, though I was young when he passed on.

Regarding their secrets, I suspect that they call certain information that so that the member will take it very seriously. The Law of One has no "secret," but I won't share some of it with a friend who I think would not get it. Also, the obscure format of the Ra material dissuades someone who is not ready for it.

The Masons have various affiliated organizations for women and children of various ages. They have secrets too, I'm sure, so those members won't be offended by any held by a Mason husband / father.

[Gribbons]

what i understand, twin flames go through many lifetimes with other people, because they are so strongly one that they need to have their own experiences. they come together in the end. or i could be wrong.

this intrigues me. can you point to a source where you heard this? it makes sense to me in a way i've never been able to wrap my head around before, and yet, most of soulmate sites i'm aware of speak as though there is only one to be found.

perhaps an pre-incarnative agreement between twin flames to have their own experiences this life, but the next 3 lives they'll be together the whole time?

[Ankh]

Twin souls

[BlatzAdict]

Umm the way you describe things not working out with that girl brought me back to a time I went through a very similar situation. Sometimes the point is to not know what anything means. You can never know anyway, until after the fact.

You might learn in the future she's totally not your type and is shallow, or you don't get along, or lots of crazy things could happen. Is she sleeping as far as the world goes? Does she know how you feel about her? How well do you know each other?

Maybe you should just yell it at her, get it off your chest. Stare fear in the face and go... hey this is me. this is who i am and this is what i feel.

... Or you can say nothing and find a reason to define it later. Either way as long as your thinking about it, that is the catalyst. What is the lesson?
Could be anything.

I've found that when I didn't say it right away, I regret it, fear always gets there and makes me think oh I wonder what she would think about me if I told her.. and then I regret it and end up telling them way after I'm over it. I failed the fear test.... in choosing between fear and love.. it is always a difficult thing, especially when it hits close to home or rather our own egos.

[Oceania]

i have heard it from many sources, one was this woman whose name was... Jonette Crowley. MagentaPixie talks about it, and twinflames on youtube talk about it.

[Gribbons]

I've found that when I didn't say it right away, I regret it, fear always gets there and makes me think oh I wonder what she would think about me if I told her.. and then I regret it and end up telling them way after I'm over it. I failed the fear test.... in choosing between fear and love.. it is always a difficult thing, especially when it hits close to home or rather our own egos.

Yeah. I chose to look fear in the eyes and speak my mind. It got me thrown in jail and suspended from the university. But you know what man, I always felt I would feel worse by not speaking my mind, so, I guess, I'm glad I did what I did. Even if I did get in trouble. Trust me man, the story's LONG, and complicated, but, while I didn't deserve all this, it was meant to be I guess. But I did what was right, that's for damn sure.

[Ashim]

i have heard it from many sources, one was this woman whose name was... Jonette Crowley. MagentaPixie talks about it, and twinflames on youtube talk about it.

Little Grandmother aka Kiesha Crowley

www.littlegrandmother.net

[Meerie]

her name is Keisha Crowther