Love, Separation, Relationship

[pat19989]

Hello everyone.

I have been sick for the past week, both physically (possibly covid), mentally, and emotionally. To put it plainly my girlfriend and I came to conclusions last weekend that maybe it would be best if we broke up. This led to quite a lot of distortion and turbulence throughout this week. I came to the conclusion during the week that it would be best if we did separate, and once I was trapped in this logic-centric mindset I forced it upon both of us. The sickness has cleared now, both physically and emotionally, and I am left wondering what I have done, what the best way to move forward is for the both of us. There is still tremendous love and caring between us, it a sort of "We could both use time alone to grow because we keep getting stuck in the same patterns of resentment towards ourselves and each other" motivated separation. 

Last night, I finally started feeling better physically and it felt like a cloud was lifted from my perspective. I felt that I had not made a decision out of love, but out of ego and idealized "self-growth." I do believe change would benefit both of us, but I am now open to different kinds of change that may not look like a conventional separation. 

I am not necessarily seeking specific advice on my situation because the nature of these dealings are so deep-rooted in us as individuals, but if any thoughts come to mind I would welcome any input. If there are any channeling sessions concerning the bond between humans in a romantic relationship that come to mind, or any spiritual takes on relationships in general, I am just so tired of talking to my family and friends about it all due to the traps of conventional thought and ego that so many of us, including me, cling to. I just feel that the way "breakups" are viewed and dealed with in society at large, at least in the culture I grew up in, is very toxic and not conducive to real love and healing.

Open to any sources or thoughts. Thank you for listening if you made it this far.

Love

[SolRgreen]

Some questions I love are "can awareness hate itself?" and "Is awareness incomplete?". 

I feel like other than that trying to spend some time loving yourself no matter what else is felt, in my knowing/experience love without reasons/unconditional love can't lead you far astray ..

["the stumbled one"]

Hello pat19989, I am pleased to meet you. I have spent much time going through Teal Swans youtube channel regarding relationship mechanics, it may not for everyone, I feel her perspective aligns with my own, if you choose to look have a browse through some of the older videos. She also mentioned once that much of her info is somewhat channeled. You will find yourself drawn to what is important to you.

Regarding your physical ailment, is it because of your emotional ailment perhaps?
I hope you find what you are looking for.

[aWanderer91]

Relationships, especially romantic ones are tough.

If I could of pointed the compass in the right direction, in my romantic relationships in the past, I would of. Unhealthy patterns were noticed, but it would of taken both of us to point this compass and it would have to be wholeheartedly towards healing, with complete desire on our part to encounter the unexpected and the deep rooted pain. This is quite rare and I do agree with you that society's view towards relationships and ending them can be quite toxic. I've also been the one who refused to point this compass at times. It seems as humans, we have a tendency towards leaving things broken.

Failing this, I've learned that closure is incredibly important. That closure is a form of honouring and respecting the time and love we shared with someone. Losing a relationship is painful, but losing a relationship without the closure that both or one of the parties need and deserve (providing they haven't acted too out of line), adds a whole new dimension of pain and can add a lot of meaninglessness to the relationship as a whole.

I wish you all the best pat, I really do, my heart goes out to you.

[Spiritualchaos]

I made a video about relationships on my channel just recently, full of channeling and Law of One quotes. Maybe it can help? It’s called Soul Bonds & The Social Memory Complex

[pat19989]

Relationships, especially romantic ones are tough.

If I could of pointed the compass in the right direction, in my romantic relationships in the past, I would of. Unhealthy patterns were noticed, but it would of taken both of us to point this compass and it would have to be wholeheartedly towards healing, with complete desire on our part to encounter the unexpected and the deep rooted pain. This is quite rare and I do agree with you that society's view towards relationships and ending them can be quite toxic. I've also been the one who refused to point this compass at times. It seems as humans, we have a tendency towards leaving things broken.

Failing this, I've learned that closure is incredibly important. That closure is a form of honouring and respecting the time and love we shared with someone. Losing a relationship is painful, but losing a relationship without the closure that both or one of the parties need and deserve (providing they haven't acted too out of line), adds a whole new dimension of pain and can add a lot of meaninglessness to the relationship as a whole.

I wish you all the best pat, I really do, my heart goes out to you.

I really appreciate your thoughts. I will definitely keep closure in mind, because we both deserve it if this is the end of us. Letting go is hard

[pat19989]

I made a video about relationships on my channel just recently, full of channeling and Law of One quotes. Maybe it can help? It’s called Soul Bonds & The Social Memory Complex

Thank you! I will definitely give it a watch tomorrow, just checking the thread now before I nod off to sleep.

[pat19989]

Some questions I love are "can awareness hate itself?" and "Is awareness incomplete?". 

I feel like other than that trying to spend some time loving yourself no matter what else is felt, in my knowing/experience love without reasons/unconditional love can't lead you far astray ..

Great advice, this process is already starting to help me love myself, because s*** im all I got haha

[IndigoSalvia]

considering parting ways with another can offer a unique set of catalyst for reflection, perhaps a lot of or intense catalyst.

as you and the other take these next steps together - whatever they may be - is there a way to ground yourself in love and joy? perhaps easier said than done, from personal experience. when/if you can, plant your spirit's feet firmly in love and understanding, seeing self/other with as little separation as possible, and hold the two of you together in your heart closely, whether your paths part ways or parallel one another.

challenges give me an opportunity to do it differently than I have previous times. I ask myself: where can I deepen spiritually in this new (possibly repetitive) catalyst?  

perhaps gaze upon the energies (thoughts, feelings, sensations) as they arise up within you (they may well rise up in the other as well). Whatever they may be, invite them to sit down and chat with you, sit quietly with them and listen to them with your heart. perhaps you find that you wish to travel with those energies for a while longer, or you wish to balance them, or you wish to release them to the Great Ocean.

simply recognizing that there is a difficulty between one and another is a big step, and then we ask: how can I bring forth love here? where is love in this situation?