Feeling the transformation process

[tadeus]

I have found my way to the Ra material over the "Hidden Hand" thread more than one year ago.
Reading the Ra material had given the feeling of deep understanding to me, but left me with a bit desorientation.
After beginning to read Carla's "A wanderer's handbook" i could find myself in the stories, and the presumption to be wanderer explains all the unknown feelings and events that happens in my previous life.
The presumption turns more and more into certitude of being a wanderer in the last year.
There is the feeling that i am here at this place for a good reason. It would be wrong to leave the place where i am living, that i have choosen in 2012.

Today there was a very intensive feeling of disharmony with my body and my surroundings.
My intuition let me go outside into the forest and meditate to get clear.
After a short time the disharmony transforms into the perception that a transformation process is working heavily.

I am feeling still like having a distance to my body and intellect and being a observer of all.
But it is not the feeling of desintegration, it is like seeing of all being in transformation, without understanding what is really going on.
It's more like observing that the Ego is not the leading authority any more and will go more and more into symbiosis with the soul / higher self.
So for the intellect it is more fascinating then the fear to get crazy. There is the perception that everything is fine.
Additional there is a common identity with this planet and especially with the matter of it.
Like there is a asynchronicity that must be synchronized.

Time is not a constant and is feeling elastic (like flofrog has nicely defined).
Generally the past and future has less relevance and everything focalizes to the presence.

Does someone else have such feelings?

[Spaced]

I think that it's one thing to think about concepts presented in the Ra material (and other such works) intellectually and another thing altogether to begin to experience them. It can be a little intimidating to the ego when it realizes it doesn't have total control and that the self and universe are much more vast than previously considered. It can also be intimidating to come to terms with the responsibility that comes with these sorts of realizations, as it is our responsibility to put into practice the things we have learned. Growing in understanding and acceptance of these concepts is an ongoing process of transformation.

[tadeus]

There where some strange feelings the whole live, specially to feel different from most of the people.
But there was no such "position" of an outstanding observer.

I was no spiritual man, but believed in somewhat of a higher universal energy.
After i had read Ra, i only could find my diffuse "vision" of the universe confirmed and described in a really detailed way.

At this time there is no active experimenting with the concepts of LOO, it is more like not supressing it any more with the intellect.
The shame and fear of feeling different has gone. Whatever happens can be accepted as mission.

[Diana]

I have similar feelings Tadeus.

This existence is indeed paradoxical. I have found, in my tiny bit of progress over the years, that the paradoxes do resolve, or rather, I can see that they are in the process of resolving, as I inch toward a wider view of what is possible. But as all things in my experience, what you think things are or what you think will happen, is never what things really are in their wholeness or even a wider view, or what they will eventually become within the infinite and many-layered possibilities of existence.

It all remains a mystery. But what fun it is to explore the mystery when one is in a centered frame of mind.

[tadeus]

Yes - the outstanding observer sees only input to senses of a body that is acting as part of an material illusion.

You can zoom in and out the view with different resolution of the details in the different layers of reality.
But you cannot see all at once - only that all is associated - One.

[Steppingfeet]

I love when someone says that they've read A Wanderer's Handbook. Such a treasure, that book.

You've been participating in the forums, so I don't know if I should offer a welcome here. And this isn't so much of a wanderer story but a little introduction along with your recent experience and inquiry into the nature of time. But! To you, Tadeus, I shall say welcome nonetheless. And thank you for sharing your calm energy here on Bring4th. : )

I do feel a sense of ease and peace when reading of your recent experiences and realizations. It sounds to me like it has a flavor of peering into the non-solidity of all things - everything is in flux and flow and transformation. That can be a realization to lose oneself in a non-life serving dis-integration way, or it can be a realization to lose oneself in an upwarding moving self-transcending sort of way, I suppose.

At any rate, impermanence is a key insight in vipassana meditation and Buddhist teaching in general. I would think such insight would really help to unloosen the grip of that which needs the illusion of its own permanence, that which you describe as the ego.

Blessings

[tadeus]

You've been participating in the forums, so I don't know if I should offer a welcome here. And this isn't so much of a wanderer story but a little introduction along with your recent experience and inquiry into the nature of time. But! To you, Tadeus, I shall say welcome nonetheless. And thank you for sharing your calm energy here on Bring4th. : )

Thank you.
At this time i am on a short excursion / holiday.
On the outbound trip i did have an epiphany of elastic time again, because i had driven a way that needs normally about 90 minutes in 45 minutes.
I was driving very relaxed and could feel that my time was slower than the surrounding, but nevertheless i was surprised to arrive to early.

I do feel a sense of ease and peace when reading of your recent experiences and realizations. It sounds to me like it has a flavor of peering into the non-solidity of all things - everything is in flux and flow and transformation. That can be a realization to lose oneself in a non-life serving dis-integration way, or it can be a realization to lose oneself in an upwarding moving self-transcending sort of way, I suppose.

This experiences and realizations are often only for a short period of time.
The peering into the non-solidity of all things is primary seen by the observer.
It seems that the observer is really an independent instance not coupled with spirituality in a direct way,
Today my magic biorhythm is in a critical state and spirituality dead, but the observer was still active.
The observer could notice the physical state of the body after walking for 6 miles as a strained vehicle and not as an tired ego.

At any rate, impermanence is a key insight in vipassana meditation and Buddhist teaching in general. I would think such insight would really help to unloosen the grip of that which needs the illusion of its own permanence, that which you describe as the ego.

That's a good question - it's somehow like that the ego is not surpressed nor restive - it's just like that the consciousness of the ego is not bound to the body any more.

[Spiritual Ronin]

This thread brings me peace in hearing others with a similar story. I connect with the idea of losing one-self. It really can go one of two ways as SteppingFeet stated. I was meditating on that concept the other day. How reaching out to understand the totality has an effect of dampening my own sense of individuation. So lately I've been putting an emphasis on understanding the whole through personal exploration. Understanding my origins and the archetypes associated. I might not fully ever understand my preincarnative biases and energetic underpinnings, but just maybe I can learn more about my personal journey and use that knowing to reflect outward.

I appreciate this forum already as the Ra Material has been in my life for 3 years or so, but only recently have I been able to understand the depth of it all. It has a way of giving you something at whatever level you are on, and as you progress, are offered new plateus to understand from.

[tadeus]

I think we experience the ongoing transformation process into the 4th density.
It is a very individual transformation process regarding our mind.

[Spiritual Ronin]

That's it Tadeus. Some people feel the connection their whole lives and some (like me) had to have the ego death occur first. It's taken me so long to wake up but luckily I still have more life ahead of me than behind me.

The last two days I meditated on the healing of the Earth. Putting my right hand on the Earth after calling in energy from my left, through the chakras as Ra stated. Shortly after the 2nd working yesterday I got quite sick and I can't help but wonder if this is what the Earth feels like in its transformation. There's so many factors to consider and nothing to bounce it off of but faith itself.

[tadeus]

That's it Tadeus. Some people feel the connection their whole lives and some (like me) had to have the ego death occur first. It's taken me so long to wake up but luckily I still have more life ahead of me than behind me.

The last two days I meditated on the healing of the Earth. Putting my right hand on the Earth after calling in energy from my left, through the chakras as Ra stated. Shortly after the 2nd working yesterday I got quite sick and I can't help but wonder if this is what the Earth feels like in its transformation. There's so many factors to consider and nothing to bounce it off of but faith itself.

Connecting with Gaia and the living environment often gives a certain feeling of suffer or pain, but there is no real awareness of the surrounding second density what is going on.

It's possible to concentrate on the positive aspects of life and to reflect the consciousness of being one and love for the wonderful aspects of life.
That seems to be a way to give our love / light to the planet / sphere and maybe into the group consciousness of the third density.

[flofrog]

I agree. I think we are all aware of the incredible negative effect we have on Gaia, so the beginning of connecting with her for sure has to see with our own involvement that is so painful when we stare at it in depth. When that passes, that sort of limitless kindness she has for us is just so moving and so healing. I do cry sometimes when I feel it, but then, I am a sap, lol. But connecting with her is one of the mot wonderful thing that I experiment.