what ive been feeling lately

[norral]

i figured i would put this out there as it has been a long time since i have started a post on the forums.
basically i have been experiencing an extreme sense of i dont want to be here anymore. i find that the very structure of society doesnt interest me at all it seems kind of meaningless. i dont want to achieve anything or attain anything or be anything. the structures of better than less than could interest me less they make me want to barf to be honest what a load of
c___ that is. what i do enjoy is spending time with the grandkids who range in age from 15 months to 21. that interests me i guess because youre not playing a lot of games when u relate on their level.
when i look at this world it seems to me that we live in a state of total insanity. the fact that half the world lives in abject poverty and nobody cares about it is proof enuf for me. the fact that this country bombs children around the world and nobody care about it is proof enuf for me. like its our divine right to kill in order to make a few rich.
and to cap it all of there is something sitting out there at the outer edges of my conciousness that the only way i can descirbe it is magnificent. and i feel it is soon to arrive . hard to put into words except to say something wonderful is coming. anyway i though i would put this out there and see how others are feeling. i realize also i am a lot older than others on the board so i dont know if i would be feeling the same way if i was 22 in all fairness(im 63)

norral

[Crown]

I dont have much to say becaue im alot younger than you and i dont know whow u feel. But focus on the things that you do like in life. Get yourself a new pet. Meditate. Travel. And love your life. You have been living here for 63 years, i think thats a reason big enough to love yourself and your life.

Love and light to you my friend.

[kycahi]

norral, I lived that too. In fact, I'm taking prescription meds for depressive disorder. If they didn't prevent my suicide (probably did), they sure made my existence more bearable.

I hope your post here is only a little venting and not something more serious, because if it is, then get help, puh-lease.

An observation: I think true Wanderers or just those who made the Choice before this life, came into this 3D with confidence that we will make a difference. Now we have confronted the Earthland resistance and, having been here so long (I'm in your decade), feel weary.

I also feel the approaching magnificence and hope I live to see it. Follow the many good tips from Crown and, I'm sure, more. Rejoice with the grand-kids for awhile, ignoring the big picture, but keeping eyes and ears open for the indicators of big positive change. I posted a quote by David Brooks in another thread that is truly heartening. The future is almost now. Yee hah!

[Crimson]

I'll be sending you some light and love my friend. Remember things are getting "better" and this nonsense suffering is due to disappear.

[native]

Yes, it is total insanity here! "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society - Jiddu Krishnamurti"

You are very still in your beingness, which has required a lot of work to find the peace within. I don't want to be anything or attain anything either. We are confident people that have found peace. But the spirit is always moving isn't it? And where is it moving? Towards unity, towards others. I've found that when the physical stops moving, the spirit says "What the hell?". Perhaps your answer lies in service, if you aren't doing that already. Volunteer somewhere, maybe work with children, or help with a nature preserve. Spring is around the corner and being in the sun is so valuable towards your well-being. If you are actively doing positive things you will feel positive.

I've found that when the emptiness appears, to look outside the self for answers. Radiate instead of trying to find comfort in absorption.

[Lorna]

dear norral, i'm sorry to hear you feeling this way, your words are usually always so full of kindness and warmth when you post, it's a shame to hear you feeling down. i agree that the winter for so many people can be incredibly hard, hopefully the return of the sun will bring with it a gladdening of your heart.

what do you look forward to in your day to day life? can you plan special time, or days away - or can you plan a trip over to Scotland this year? i have been feeling very overwhelmed with life's busy-ness lately and i've found planning a day or two away somewhere new every 6 weeks or so helps me avoid that overwhelmed, burdened feeling, aiming towards a break, and it helps enormously

perhaps it is simply a lull for you that will lift, i hope so, your presence is much valued here - don't go away just yet please!

[Eddie]

basically i have been experiencing an extreme sense of i dont want to be here anymore. i find that the very structure of society doesnt interest me at all it seems kind of meaningless. i dont want to achieve anything or attain anything or be anything.
norral

I feel the same. I wouldn't describe it as "down", just disconnected. There is almost nothing belonging to 3rd density ordinary life that interests me anymore. It's fatiguing.

After many, many incarnations I have a vague feeling that most of my work is done. The only thing that keeps me going here is an inner knowing that there is one more task, something I'm supposed to do right here in the county of my childhood, at the time of transition. I don't yet know what that thing is, but I have deliberately arranged my life to return here, to be here at that time; and I gave up a lot to do it. But my heart told me I needed to be here. So, I'm just waiting, being available.

[BlatzAdict]

i figured i would put this out there as it has been a long time since i have started a post on the forums.
basically i have been experiencing an extreme sense of i dont want to be here anymore. i find that the very structure of society doesnt interest me at all it seems kind of meaningless. i dont want to achieve anything or attain anything or be anything. the structures of better than less than could interest me less they make me want to barf to be honest what a load of
c___ that is. what i do enjoy is spending time with the grandkids who range in age from 15 months to 21. that interests me i guess because youre not playing a lot of games when u relate on their level.
when i look at this world it seems to me that we live in a state of total insanity. the fact that half the world lives in abject poverty and nobody cares about it is proof enuf for me. the fact that this country bombs children around the world and nobody care about it is proof enuf for me. like its our divine right to kill in order to make a few rich.
and to cap it all of there is something sitting out there at the outer edges of my conciousness that the only way i can descirbe it is magnificent. and i feel it is soon to arrive . hard to put into words except to say something wonderful is coming. anyway i though i would put this out there and see how others are feeling. i realize also i am a lot older than others on the board so i dont know if i would be feeling the same way if i was 22 in all fairness(im 63)

norral

this is exactly how I feel.. i'm 27. Exactly how I feel. and for that I have a song for you.
Survivor - Eye Of The Tiger

u know it.. i know it.. get pumped.. lol
We're not wanderers we're freakin survivors.

the only thing I like about this world is the possibility of finding love amidst this sea of duality.
and kung fu.
I'm thankful to be a part of this community, and to know I'm not the only one who thinks the way things work is run by a bunch of selfish money grubbing idiots.
sorry. that was mean.
I love them too? kinda. lol

[Protonexus]

It seems like a lot of people are tired of this world, especially those that can see the potential for the new world.

On a note about being survivors, the thing is that I am starting to see wanderers as living guides, we are here to survive to help people learn how to not fear death and transition into 4d smoothly. No 3d body is going to be necessary for 4d, it is going to perish, in the transition many will likely die initially and slowly afterwards, those that refuse to let go of 3d are the ones that most require aid by wanderers. We cannot fear death anymore than a caterpillar fears becoming a butterfly.

We know what it takes to graduate, and we can be gate holders to ensure that those whom are lost may find the way - even if one of those money grubbing fools changes their mind last minute. At the time of greatest transition the potential for rapid polarization will be present.

[Ankh]

Dear brother, my hearts aches for you. I feel the same in the deapth of my heart, but usually I ignore it. Today it rised up on the surface though. Couldn't bear it anymore.

That magnificence you talk about I feel too. Everyday - and I can't bring it through that thick wall (veil?) into everyday life.

I am not intersted in "normal" life activities anymore. I don't watch TV or buy any new clothes or do all that ordinary stuff people around seem to take such interest in. And I am 33. I get bored beyond any words talking about the superficial subjects with others. But what are we supposed to do? We came to serve. I don't know if we knew in advance that it's going to be this hard, but we probably felt bravery screaming "All for one, and one for all".

I don't have any advices to give, and I don't want to do it either. I just feel in my inner essence that I don't want to be here anymore, as you. But everyday I push it back to the deapth where it came from and force myself through another day filled with catalysts.

I've been feeling for a very long time that this is my last 3D incarnation and that I should use it well. But what you think and what you feel can sometimes be two completly different things. So I admit it right here and right now - I don't want to be here anymore. I want to go home.

But I won't do it yet. I will constinue to fight to my very last breath, for my daughter at least.

Here is one song to listen to when that Wanderer's blues is overwhelming:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oz6c0bhINeg

Take care, my brother! May the One protect and guide your path!

Namasté

[norral]

dear brothers and sisters what wonderful responses. amazing . it reaffirms what i love about this place. just to clarify i am not feeling
depressed or down or anything i am just feeling. i breathe in the whole spectrum of my being whatever it is and i trust what it is i feel. i will not run or avoid myself because only by feeling everything and i do mean everything
can we ever penetrate deeply into our hearts. the responses were truly beautiful and they ran the full spectrum. i take each one of them into my heart because i know they came from a place of love. blatz addict u picked up something from the universal i was just watching the grand kids play a video game tonight and the song that was playing was u guessed it
eye of the tiger too cool right. ankh thanks for sharing that incredible music sister i didnt know about that group but they are truly amazing. i was also listening to their version of nananana on you tube so beautiful. i cherish each response in my heart and my love and gratitude goes to each one

your brother
norral

[turtledude23]

I feel that way often when there's no female company in my life, when I'm infatuated with someone all my worries and criticisms of the world disappear.

[native]

Yeah that Kelly Paddy/John Paul Marry has an amazingly beautiful voice. He definitely needs international recognition. Reminds me of John Denver and Stevie Nicks combined!

[Brittany]

I totally know how you feel here. Some days it's hard to keep the positive attitude and affirm that all will be well. Some days I really, REALLY just want to go back. I see it like climbing a mountain...every day I climb a little bit higher, but the cliff seems SO huge, and my arms hurt SO bad. I just want to be at the top already.

[Meerie]

I am not intersted in "normal" life activities anymore. I don't watch TV or buy any new clothes or do all that ordinary stuff people around seem to take such interest in. And I am 33. I get bored beyond any words talking about the superficial subjects with others. But what are we supposed to do? We came to serve. I don't know if we knew in advance that it's going to be this hard, but we probably felt bravery screaming "All for one, and one for all".

Hey I can relate to that, LOL. My mum is kind of surprised that I always wear the same old clothes, Jeans with holes and she always want to give me money to buy some new things. Well I have the money myself, but I am just not interested. I am sooo longing for an existence where none of all that is necessary (food, shelter, clothes) . I read recently "Earth is the only planet where you have to work in order to live there" - in other words we have to earn our existence to be able to survive. When all I want is just to be! Sometimes I feel like building myself a shed in the woods and live there, isolated. But you know what... some guy did that here in Germany and they put him into jail! It just is not permitted. We have less freedom than Neanderthal men, in that respect.
And sometimes I just want the veil to go away so badly and know everything that I knew before my last incarnation... sigh

[Jerome]

Hi Norral,

I don't know you personally but I can feel your frustration. I am familiar with this frustration. The way we collectively live in this world is insane, there is no getting around it. But hold on a second.
It often seems like nobody cares about it but this isn't true. Its not even close to true. Maybe the majority aren't aware of the insanity, maybe a large percentage actually don't care, but there is a large and growing population of souls who care very deeply and don't aim to stop anytime soon.
If we could avoid all the fiction we're given in the day to day maybe this would be readily apparent. These social trends aren't reported by any media that relies on advertising revenue so they're hard to see, but they are very real. People are pushing back the old power everywhere. People are educating themselves and each other and are translating that into real change.
I'm a nut for following things that are hard to follow (ie the truth behind current events). This past decade was rather difficult. So much darkness, so much loss. But things are shifting quickly away from darkness. That thing you feel on the edges is real, that dark thing in the way is simply that, in the way.
The insane power structure is still there but it is being threatened mightily across the globe. The revolution in Egypt is so beautiful and its only one facet. Similar events have been happening all over South America too. You may think people are apathetic in your country but they aren't. The majority of Americans abhor violence - go and check every major public opinion poll and see what your government has to carefully work against.
Heed that magnificent thing. Its closer than you think.

[fairyfarmgirl]

The Platnium Rainbow Ray that began beaming into the Earth on Jan 19 2011 brings all the darkness(personal and global) to the surface. Fears that we hold that we just did not want to see and release... well now is the time when the releasing is happening. It is a quickening--- a birthing--- and the shedding of thorns of negativity all in one. Very intense for me right now, as well.

I Bless you all with Love--

fairyfarmgirl

[Meerie]

That is interesting what you say about the Platinum ray, fairy... but I have felt an increase in catalyst and hidden things rising to the surface since the beginning of the new year already. Maybe these things can sometimes be felt in advance... as the saying goes, coming events cast their shadows before...

[norral]

Hi Jerome and Fairy

thanks for your response. jerome u hit the nail on the head it is frustration that i deal with on a regular basis. its like how can we go on living our lives while so so many suffer. however u brought up some excellent and encouraging points, there are many many decent people out here and this government the american government does not really represent the people it represents the rich and powerful. your words have encouraged me brother to keep on keeping on and let the chips fall where they may. i thank you from my heart, its great to hear your point of view and take on things, very uplifting.

Fairy i wasnt aware of this ray but interesting my back started bothering me about that time so i believe there is a connection. thanks for sharing that info.

your brother
norral

[fairyfarmgirl]

Good Greetings All:

click on the Platnium Cosmic Rainbow Ray for more information. Here is a video on this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwFx6YXYMCU

[BrownEye]

i figured i would put this out there as it has been a long time since i have started a post on the forums.
basically i have been experiencing an extreme sense of i dont want to be here anymore. i find that the very structure of society doesnt interest me at all it seems kind of meaningless. i dont want to achieve anything or attain anything or be anything. the structures of better than less than could interest me less they make me want to barf to be honest what a load of
c___ that is.

Hey I think I can relate. I became aware of the structure maybe a year ago. At that point I didn't know what to do. It took a while but I connected to the inner and with guidance came up with direction. I found that many others have taken the step I just now am acting on, getting rid of all worldly possessions and moving to where they are steered. Wilhelm Reich also saw this structure. It has been here throughout history, and at certain times in history there seem to be mass migrations. You may find something prodding you towards a direction.

[Aaron]

I'm 21 and you took the words right out of my mouth.

Except, I feel that this deep inner disgust for the way we're living should be channeled and redirected into a constructive way of living. That's what I'm trying to do at this point. Let the love flow! Follow your highest passion to start untangling and changing our society. Love comes from below and sweeps up, changing the entire planet!

[NegaNova]

I feel for all of you.
Personally, yeah, I've been feeling kind of exhausted. It's not that I feel the world is wrong, I know there is great good being done all the time and that the Earth is experiencing that love, and I think that that is probably largely ignored or unnoticed by me and a lot of people, because I tend to put my focus onto the things that make me sad about the world, or things that are painful, etc.

It's like,
I feel as if I'm in some sort of spiritual chaos. Like, since I've had experiences recently that have been particularily painful, it makes me feel almost like... I cannot rely on the Universe, because anything can happen, and it's like... I'm not gautanteed to be protected from struggle, because that is apparently what makes us grow so well, but I wish I didn't believe it had to be like that. And once I think about that, it feels like... I am doomed to this roller coaster of good and bad things happening, and there will never been eternal peace,
and yet I know it exists,
and I know that love surrounds me, and that God is watching, and understands, and that it truly all is part of a perfect plan,
but it's so frustrating when I cannot see it.

Still,
I also think Harmony and Love are coming our way.
It is like... you are all pushing through a little tunnel together with me,
and it's become very narrow and difficult to press on,
but when we finally figure it out,
and get through the opening,
we find on the other side that it is very expansive and open, and very deeply coloured, which is a reflection of who we have become and who we have discovered with each other.

[norral]

Hey Aaron and NegaNova

Aaron thanks for letting me know brother that the young can also feel this way, you know its really not an age thing its a perception thing as you perceive certain truths it affects you.
NegaNova i relate entirely to what you said , we are most definitely on a roller coaster here a very intense learning experience.
just to add something i had once read in one of my books called the
history of mankind by william schroeder i believe that only one out of every 12 souls ever incarnates here on the earth, the reason being is that it is just too hard to live here for most and they choose to bypass it. the advantage to living here is that the lessons are intense and the progress availabe is much greater than just staying in the nonphysical realms. so this reality is no joke and i take my hat off to those who come here and manage to manifest love in their lives.
thanks guys for your thoughts

your brother
norral

[Ankh]

the advantage to living here is that the lessons are intense and the progress availabe is much greater than just staying in the nonphysical realms.

Yup, intensity might be so high that it takes one a whole eternity to process all information

[kia]

Dear norral, I can relate too. Sometimes it happens for no reason, I just wake up like that...tired, nothing interests me anymore, feeling that I have been here forever.. and I really have to make an effort. Sometimes it last for days. It always helps me out to think that I wont be feeling like that forever and then I then hopefully I change my mood

Loads of love

[norral]

Hi Kia
thanks for your response. while i was reading your introduction and your experiences the thought came to me that u might be an empath. you certainly have the characteristics of one , the sensitivity, here is a link to a book on amazon about empaths. there are many of us here on this board
i am one and there are many others

http://www.amazon.com/Invisible-Armor-Pr...910&sr=8-5

your brother
norral

[Confused]

An observation: I think true Wanderers or just those who made the Choice before this life, came into this 3D with confidence that we will make a difference. Now we have confronted the Earthland resistance and, having been here so long (I'm in your decade), feel weary.

That I think is a great point. One such example that I think Ra highlighted was Nikola Tesla.

[kia]

Dear Norral,
Hope you are feeling better. I think you are Thanks for the book. Yes, I´m a empath and its been so hard till I found out what´s going on with me. I just cried easy since I remeber. It has been hard most of all cause my family was so used they didnt care anymore. I was diagnosed with bipolarity years ago. And about 3 years ago I came across a book called "the book of storms" and it saved my life at the time. I try now to pay attention more and to protect myself. Thanks to that I have sometimes helped people around me just by asking them, hey how are you? I dont tell them that I´ve sensed something wrong, dont need to. They straight tell what is wrong. And I listen. And we both feel better afterwards. I have travelled so much, especially when I was younger, and I always find myself meeting people of all ages and they tell me their stories, like really personal things. And we hang out for a while and then they are gonne. They carry on with their lives. I was very frustrated I thought I was abandoned. Now I dont mind. Most of the time they are really grateful too so it works out both ways. But I find it hard if noone comes. I become much more vulnerable to different energies, get tired and then I isolate in my house. But later or sooner somebody else will come and the circle starts again. Its ok. I feel a bit lonely sometimes but its fine.
You can check out this site and go to the coursework. There you´ll find the book of storms.
http://mysilentecho.com/

Thanks brother, have a lovely monday and shine!!

[norral]

Kia
thanks that is an incredible website. the funny thing is ive always liked storms. something very basic about them.

norral