Deciding to connect with my higher self

[EvolvingPhoenix]

So I was going for a meditation walk today. And while I was trying not to think, I couldn't help but find myself thinking. And I was thinking about how no matter what I do, nothing will ever be enough for me and I won't be happy. Nothing I could become will make me happy. Nothing I could accomplish. None of it, because for the ego, it's never enough. Every time I concern myself with the ambitions of my ego, I just end up suffering. Every time I think about the things my ego wanted me to accomplish that I failed at, I suffer. As long as I serve my ego, I suffer. So if nothing I could accomplish could be enough, and nothing I could be could be enough, as long as it's in service of my ego, what could I possibly become that would fulfill me and be enough? I also thought about how I've been a crappy friend to a lot of people, and how with some of them, I'll probably never get another chance to prove I've changed, but if I could prove I've changed to them, what version of myself would I want to have changed into?

And At some point in the walk, it dawned on me that only by embodying my higher self will I be happy with who I am. If I could somehow figure out what my higher self would do with my life and do that, all the pain and suffering I've been through will have been worth it, because that's the version of me I can be happy with becoming, and if it took all that suffering to get to that point, I guess it will have been worth it.

Problem is, I don't have a good connection with my higher self, so I don't really know how to embody my higher self. But I've got some tools available to develop a connection. I've got my meditation walk and I've got a special mantra. I know it's a lifelong endeavor, but the closer I get the more happy with myself I'll become. I've got to develop a connection.Aside from my meditation walk, regular meditation and my special mantra, I intend to collect more tools to employ.

If anybody has any good tips or tools that you would suggest, I'd be interested to hear. But otherwise, I've got the tools I've got and I suppose that's enough for now. Truth is, I've been slacking spiritually until recently. And I've been suffering with a sense of worthlessness. That's what my mind has been on lately. Feeling worthless and like a loser. I need some way out, and so far, I've determined that developing a connection with my higher self and doing my best to embody it is the only real way out. Problem is, how do I tell when it's really what my higher self wants and not the ego? The ego is tricky after all. I guess only by developing a good connection will I know. It'll take a while, but at least I have some sort of answer to my problem, as vague as it is. It's not that I've got a star pointing north, so much as it is that I now know to head north. Still gonna need to develop that internal compass because so far, I've been following all the wrong things. But at least I know I've got to develop it. Life just might get better from here, as low as I am right now.

I know my higher self would forgive everybody who ever wronged me, so they're all forgiven. Apart from that, I guess only time will tell where my higher self leads me to...

[AnthroHeart]

It sounds like you need liberation. There are many paths, and only you can know what is right for you.
I found when I don't know what to do, that surrender works for me. I surrender to the will of the Universe.
When you meditate, walking or sitting, the best technique I found that worked for me was just to sit or to walk.
And not to worry if your mind wanders.

I don't know if this helps since I don't know if you were looking for advice, or an outlet.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Well, advice is welcomed

TBH I was kind of hoping for some advice, but at the same time, if nobody has any advice or help to give me, that's okay. I know the tools I have are enough and there'll be more down the road I'm sure.

[krb]

I'll make a suggestion, but because I have no idea of your "circumstances"... ( personal finances/physical capabilities/time constraints etc. ), it may or may not work for you.

You may wish to consider volunteering your spare time in your community... food banks/shelters for the disadvantaged/hospitals etc. This is a good and productive way to move closer to "happiness". As you help and work with others towards a worthwhile cause, you'll gain much in the way of satisfaction/inner peace and just in general, the good feeling that wells up from within, knowing you're making a positive difference in the lives of others.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I'll make a suggestion, but because I have no idea of your "circumstances"... ( personal finances/physical capabilities/time constraints etc. ), it may or may not work for you.

You may wish to consider volunteering your spare time in your community... food banks/shelters for the disadvantaged/hospitals etc. This is a good and productive way to move closer to "happiness". As you help and work with others towards a worthwhile cause, you'll gain much in the way of satisfaction/inner peace and just in general, the good feeling that wells up from within, knowing you're making a positive difference in the lives of others.

Not a bad suggestion. I'll consider it.

[Tae]

And I've been suffering with a sense of worthlessness. That's what my mind has been on lately. Feeling worthless and like a loser. I need some way out, and so far, I've determined that developing a connection with my higher self and doing my best to embody it is the only real way out. Problem is, how do I tell when it's really what my higher self wants and not the ego? The ego is tricky after all. I guess only by developing a good connection will I know.

It is not your mind that is worthless and like a loser, it is only what your mind is receiving. You also won't find "a way out" through mindfulness–it will be a way in.

The trick to breaking down an enormous task is to find the tiny things you can do to climb the stairs to get there.

So, you want to connect to your Higher Self, to get there you need to be able to tell the difference between the thoughts that come from you and the thoughts that come from anything else. To do this, you need to develop "mindfulness" which is a frustrating shorthand if you haven't got it for what really seems to mean "challenging whatever you receive."

So you think "I'm a worthless loser." Let me break it down.

"I am" is extremely powerful–you are giving yourself the identity with those words. Language used both within and without has immense power to influence us and our surroundings. Instead of going into it with the words "I am", explore it with temporary and detached language, "Right now, I experience the feeling of being worthless." It is only an experience and it is not permanent. Don't make it so.

"Worthless" Worth less than what? Surely you have some value in some arenas and less in others, like all people. So trace it back to the specific thing making you feel that way. You feel worthless because you burnt your sandwich? "I would like to learn to be a better cook." Taking the feeling and identifying where it comes from, gives you the opportunity to replace it with something you can take action against.

When I have a thought like, "I'm a loser" I ask myself, so where did this thought come from? Before I was closely acquainted with my Higher Self the only way I could identify if a thought was from my ego, or from my Higher Self, or from an implant of some sort not originating from me at all was to slow down and run each thought through a matrix to determine its intent.

Try replacing "I can never do enough to matter" with "I am exactly where I need to be to make what differences I can." Or something like that. You're not out of time. You're not out of chances. Small ripples and radiation of love are meaningful even if not in human terminology. You can ALWAYS become a better person, and it's okay if that takes time. You're in the right heartspace.

[RitaJC]

So I was going for a meditation walk today. And while I was trying not to think, I couldn't help but find myself thinking. And I was thinking about how no matter what I do, nothing will ever be enough for me and I won't be happy. Nothing I could become will make me happy. Nothing I could accomplish. None of it, because for the ego, it's never enough. Every time I concern myself with the ambitions of my ego, I just end up suffering. Every time I think about the things my ego wanted me to accomplish that I failed at, I suffer. As long as I serve my ego, I suffer. So if nothing I could accomplish could be enough, and nothing I could be could be enough, as long as it's in service of my ego, what could I possibly become that would fulfill me and be enough? I also thought about how I've been a crappy friend to a lot of people, and how with some of them, I'll probably never get another chance to prove I've changed, but if I could prove I've changed to them, what version of myself would I want to have changed into?

And At some point in the walk, it dawned on me that only by embodying my higher self will I be happy with who I am. If I could somehow figure out what my higher self would do with my life and do that, all the pain and suffering I've been through will have been worth it, because that's the version of me I can be happy with becoming, and if it took all that suffering to get to that point, I guess it will have been worth it.

Problem is, I don't have a good connection with my higher self, so I don't really know how to embody my higher self. But I've got some tools available to develop a connection. I've got my meditation walk and I've got a special mantra. I know it's a lifelong endeavor, but the closer I get the more happy with myself I'll become. I've got to develop a connection.Aside from my meditation walk, regular meditation and my special mantra, I intend to collect more tools to employ.

If anybody has any good tips or tools that you would suggest, I'd be interested to hear. But otherwise, I've got the tools I've got and I suppose that's enough for now. Truth is, I've been slacking spiritually until recently. And I've been suffering with a sense of worthlessness. That's what my mind has been on lately. Feeling worthless and like a loser. I need some way out, and so far, I've determined that developing a connection with my higher self and doing my best to embody it is the only real way out. Problem is, how do I tell when it's really what my higher self wants and not the ego? The ego is tricky after all. I guess only by developing a good connection will I know. It'll take a while, but at least I have some sort of answer to my problem, as vague as it is. It's not that I've got a star pointing north, so much as it is that I now know to head north. Still gonna need to develop that internal compass because so far, I've been following all the wrong things. But at least I know I've got to develop it. Life just might get better from here, as low as I am right now.

I know my higher self would forgive everybody who ever wronged me, so they're all forgiven. Apart from that, I guess only time will tell where my higher self leads me to...

I am really happy to hear you have gotten so far in your process of awakening to the Truth already.

There is still lots of confusion, and that is the experience we came "here" to have: to be confused to the maximum about who we are and why we are here and to experience waking up from the illusion created by those beliefs that have nothing in common with the Truth.

I believe, we can always experience only one thing here: what we believe ourselves to be. The great news is: we have the inner compass that helps us make discernment about if what we believe about ourselves is true or not: the senses experienced as our "body". And we can learn how to use it properly.

E.g., if you really stay with each of the two beliefs for a while: "I am disconnected from my higher self and don't know how to embody it" and "My higher self is who I really am and I am learning how to live as that" or any of the wonderful suggestions by Tae (I would add tapping on the opposite sides of the body) you will have different sensations in your body. And you will know which of them is closer to the Truth by which of them feels better.

It's really hard to help you in writing. I would love to have a live call with you. Drop me a PM, if you are interested

[Cyan]

Okay, so, were I to say what your higher self would do if you embodied it fully, here is a short list:

1. make you a few billion usd.
2. Solve global warming
3. Solve global hunger
4. Solve lots of global problems.
5. Retire to a harem
6. ?????
7. Profit


Okay jokes aside, if you succesfully embody your higher self i estimate the planet has one more elon musk on it, Perhaps you will be wise as an elephant and be called Elon Tusk. =)

I do have a question for you that involves my connection with my higher self, very technical and i think a bit odd but I'll ask anyway.

Should me in my model that I play and occasionally mention here and I used for a healing on you once, I think, should we build a nuclear power plant to stop being dependant on energy while we build green or should we continue to build green slowly while having to buy energy. Consider our foreign relations and neighbouring countries as well.

IF you feel like answering I'm sure my higher self would tingle with joy.

[Minyatur]

I think the art of being happy does not lie in accomplishing, but instead in one's ability to enjoy every small thing. For example lately I've been more tired than usual, but when I go to bed I have a greater feeling of thankfulness for how great it is to have a bed to go to. Your first step might be to focus of why you should be thankful for what you already have, instead of focusing on what you want to be different. It'll allow you to be lighter and from a state of happiness you can accomplish more than if you strive to accomplish to find happiness.

As for connecting to your higher self, the best is clearly meditation as it will allow you to disconnect from your mindful constructs. An effective technique I've found is to gaze at your own eyes in a mirror, it is much like looking into your own soul and for myself the process naturally silences the mind. It is a magical experience in itself, something as simple as gazing silently into your own eyes. I remember reading that feelings of worthlessness indicate a blockage in the indigo ray and so this exercise would work for that also. If there is one eye that struggles more with the exercise, because of emotions that rise, then that's the part that requires more focus.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

So I was going for a meditation walk today. And while I was trying not to think, I couldn't help but find myself thinking. And I was thinking about how no matter what I do, nothing will ever be enough for me and I won't be happy. Nothing I could become will make me happy. Nothing I could accomplish. None of it, because for the ego, it's never enough. Every time I concern myself with the ambitions of my ego, I just end up suffering. Every time I think about the things my ego wanted me to accomplish that I failed at, I suffer. As long as I serve my ego, I suffer. So if nothing I could accomplish could be enough, and nothing I could be could be enough, as long as it's in service of my ego, what could I possibly become that would fulfill me and be enough? I also thought about how I've been a crappy friend to a lot of people, and how with some of them, I'll probably never get another chance to prove I've changed, but if I could prove I've changed to them, what version of myself would I want to have changed into?

And At some point in the walk, it dawned on me that only by embodying my higher self will I be happy with who I am. If I could somehow figure out what my higher self would do with my life and do that, all the pain and suffering I've been through will have been worth it, because that's the version of me I can be happy with becoming, and if it took all that suffering to get to that point, I guess it will have been worth it.

Problem is, I don't have a good connection with my higher self, so I don't really know how to embody my higher self. But I've got some tools available to develop a connection. I've got my meditation walk and I've got a special mantra. I know it's a lifelong endeavor, but the closer I get the more happy with myself I'll become. I've got to develop a connection.Aside from my meditation walk, regular meditation and my special mantra, I intend to collect more tools to employ.

If anybody has any good tips or tools that you would suggest, I'd be interested to hear. But otherwise, I've got the tools I've got and I suppose that's enough for now. Truth is, I've been slacking spiritually until recently. And I've been suffering with a sense of worthlessness. That's what my mind has been on lately. Feeling worthless and like a loser. I need some way out, and so far, I've determined that developing a connection with my higher self and doing my best to embody it is the only real way out. Problem is, how do I tell when it's really what my higher self wants and not the ego? The ego is tricky after all. I guess only by developing a good connection will I know. It'll take a while, but at least I have some sort of answer to my problem, as vague as it is. It's not that I've got a star pointing north, so much as it is that I now know to head north. Still gonna need to develop that internal compass because so far, I've been following all the wrong things. But at least I know I've got to develop it. Life just might get better from here, as low as I am right now.

I know my higher self would forgive everybody who ever wronged me, so they're all forgiven. Apart from that, I guess only time will tell where my higher self leads me to...

I am really happy to hear you have gotten so far in your process of awakening to the Truth already.

There is still lots of confusion, and that is the experience we came "here" to have: to be confused to the maximum about who we are and why we are here and to experience waking up from the illusion created by those beliefs that have nothing in common with the Truth.

I believe, we can always experience only one thing here: what we believe ourselves to be. The great news is: we have the inner compass that helps us make discernment about if what we believe about ourselves is true or not: the senses experienced as our "body". And we can learn how to use it properly.

E.g., if you really stay with each of the two beliefs for a while: "I am disconnected from my higher self and don't know how to embody it" and "My higher self is who I really am and I am learning how to live as that" or any of the wonderful suggestions by Tae (I would add tapping on the opposite sides of the body) you will have different sensations in your body. And you will know which of them is closer to the Truth by which of them feels better.

It's really hard to help you in writing. I would love to have a live call with you. Drop me a PM, if you are interested

Sure, Rita! Sounds interesting

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I do have a question for you that involves my connection with my higher self, very technical and i think a bit odd but I'll ask anyway.

Should me in my model that I play and occasionally mention here and I used for a healing on you once, I think, should we build a nuclear power plant to stop being dependant on energy while we build green or should we continue to build green slowly while having to buy energy. Consider our foreign relations and neighbouring countries as well.

IF you feel like answering I'm sure my higher self would tingle with joy.

To be honest, I'm no expert in the matter a d my opinion is probably worth jack diddly. What's the risk of natural disaster? You don't want a situation like Japan sometimes has where an earthquake or tsunami threatens to cause a meltdown. But then again being independant puts you in a prettt good spot. I dont kniw your relationships with neighbouring countries and whatnot. If its a nice friendly relatiinship, i dont see how buying from your friendly neighbours could be so bad. But if it's not that good, you want to become independent.

If I had to pick which one, I suppose I'd suggest whichever one helps you build green faster. But again, my opions probably worth diddly squat so make of it what you will.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I think the art of being happy does not lie in accomplishing, but instead in one's ability to enjoy every small thing. For example lately I've been more tired than usual, but when I go to bed I have a greater feeling of thankfulness for how great it is to have a bed to go to. Your first step might be to focus of why you should be thankful for what you already have, instead of focusing on what you want to be different. It'll allow you to be lighter and from a state of happiness you can accomplish more than if you strive to accomplish to find happiness.

As for connecting to your higher self, the best is clearly meditation as it will allow you to disconnect from your mindful constructs. An effective technique I've found is to gaze at your own eyes in a mirror, it is much like looking into your own soul and for myself the process naturally silences the mind. It is a magical experience in itself, something as simple as gazing silently into your own eyes. I remember reading that feelings of worthlessness indicate a blockage in the indigo ray and so this exercise would work for that also. If there's is one eye (one polarity) that struggles more with the exercise, because of emotions that rise, then that's the part that requires more focus.

Interesting. Okay I'll try that shortly.

[Cyan]

Thanks, that helped, I'll recommend energy independence before green energy for now.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

No problem

[GentleReckoning]

Hello. I am your higher self.

You are forgiven.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Hello. I am your higher self.

You are forgiven.

Thanks GR.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I think the art of being happy does not lie in accomplishing, but instead in one's ability to enjoy every small thing. For example lately I've been more tired than usual, but when I go to bed I have a greater feeling of thankfulness for how great it is to have a bed to go to. Your first step might be to focus of why you should be thankful for what you already have, instead of focusing on what you want to be different. It'll allow you to be lighter and from a state of happiness you can accomplish more than if you strive to accomplish to find happiness.

As for connecting to your higher self, the best is clearly meditation as it will allow you to disconnect from your mindful constructs. An effective technique I've found is to gaze at your own eyes in a mirror, it is much like looking into your own soul and for myself the process naturally silences the mind. It is a magical experience in itself, something as simple as gazing silently into your own eyes. I remember reading that feelings of worthlessness indicate a blockage in the indigo ray and so this exercise would work for that also. If there's is one eye (one polarity) that struggles more with the exercise, because of emotions that rise, then that's the part that requires more focus.

Thanks for the advice Minyature.

[AnthroHeart]

My higher self seems foreign to me. I don't recognize it as myself.
I can only trust Creator.
I can't even trust my own thinking sometimes.

I'm afraid to activate my higher self, or to call upon it, because it is like taking on the magical personality.
And I don't have what it takes to handle the magic.

So I can only surrender to the will of the Universe. I don't know what else to do.

I really hope you are able to find your higher self EP.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Thanks. Realistically it'll probably take a whole lifetime but every step counts. I guess I also just want answers. Answers on what to do with my life, how to fulfill myself creatively how to best be of service, etc etc.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

My higher self seems foreign to me. I don't recognize it as myself.
I can only trust Creator.
I can't even trust my own thinking sometimes.

I'm afraid to activate my higher self, or to call upon it, because it is like taking on the magical personality.
And I don't have what it takes to handle the magic.

So I can only surrender to the will of the Universe. I don't know what else to do.

I really hope you are able to find your higher self EP.

I hope you find a way to be able to handle taking on the magic of connection to your higher self. Perhaps a QHHT session could help? I intend to get one down thr line.

[AnthroHeart]

My higher self seems foreign to me. I don't recognize it as myself.
I can only trust Creator.
I can't even trust my own thinking sometimes.

I'm afraid to activate my higher self, or to call upon it, because it is like taking on the magical personality.
And I don't have what it takes to handle the magic.

So I can only surrender to the will of the Universe. I don't know what else to do.

I really hope you are able to find your higher self EP.

I hope you find a way to be able to handle taking on the magic of connection to your higher self. Perhaps a QHHT session could help? I intend to get one down thr line.

My mom is trained in QHHT. She could do one for free for me, but she has to be in the mood and we don't always get along.
She is in pain a lot, and her knees are almost giving out, so it's hard for her to do a full induction.
It's hard to trust her though because she's into pulling out demons and loves learning about negative things, and wants to build God's empire.
Last time she did QHHT on me, she said afterwards I made the whole thing up.

But there is a hypnotist I trust that I could see.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

If you "made the whole thing up" then she's not a competent QHHT practitioner. What did you say when she did the session on you BTW?

[AnthroHeart]

If you "made the whole thing up" then she's not a competent QHHT practitioner. What did you say when she did the session on you BTW?

Well, she agreed with some stuff like in order for her ferret to heal I would need to love her ferret as much as she does.
But while she agreed with that she still said I made it all up. She is difficult to understand.

What she didn't like was when I said I was part of an anthro wolf species in a past life. That is why I am connected to them.

In a reading I got from Aion before, he said that my mom is my soulmate, and I read that soul mates don't always agree
and often have a difficult time together. So it makes me want to be nicer to her.

You can see Aion's reading for me in my blog here: https://www.bring4th.org/members.php?uid=1118&catid=all

She asked the higher self I was tuned into to heal a guy's back, and they did it. The guy's back was healed from a lot of pain,
and she still doubted.

My mom just has this condition where she has to insult me and put me down. She doesn't curse me out though, but she does curse a lot.

I'm seeing the upside of this more, particularly because of Aion's reading for me before.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Your mom sounds like she's got a lot of personal issues. And she takes them out on you. I'm so sorry to hear that, Indigo.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I read the reading. Very interesting stuff Thomas. Who is Aion and how does one get a reading from him?

Edit: Oh, Aion from b4. Got it. Thought it'd be an Aion from somewhere else

[flofrog]

Send Aion a pm, EP, he is really awesome and did a reading for me.

And really, little things in life are the best. Starting by having a cup of coffee in the morning and deciding this is your very own time that you deserve ( if you like coffee ) it looks like nothing but it changed my life a long time ago !! lol

[AnthroHeart]

Your mom sounds like she's got a lot of personal issues. And she takes them out on you. I'm so sorry to hear that, Indigo.

It's ok. Since re-reading that reading from Aion, I realize she is just having trouble adjusting to her new vibration.
I have been meditating on my soul group, and sending her positive energy.
Hopefully it will help her when she feels sick.

[Cyan]

Got another confirmation today on the value of being energy independent, thought you might like to know. One of the other patrons at the place I live had like a long speech about it to me when we were sitting down talking. Interesting synchro.

[Merrick]

Thanks. Realistically it'll probably take a whole lifetime but every step counts. I guess I also just want answers. Answers on what to do with my life, how to fulfill myself creatively how to best be of service, etc etc.

Have you ever tried just answering those questions? By that I mean, ask yourself “What should I do with my life?” out loud and then immediately answer the question with the first thing that pops into your head. It may not be a fully developed plan, but it should give you direction on which way to go. In truth you do know those answers, we all do. We let ourselves get so caught up in distractions and detours that it’s easy to forget. Sometimes we can cut through the noise by not giving our mind a chance to dwell on those distractions.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

So update:

I've found lately that happiness lies in loving others, not in being loved. This has really changed my outlook. I am working on loving my ex-friend without needing her to love me back or approve of me or want anything to do with me. It's still not easy, but I feel like the means to freedom are now known to me. I feel like my new purpose lately is to heal myself, love others unconditionally, lead by example and teach others how to do the same. It'll take a lot of work to get myself to that point, but I believe if I can reach that point, I can help more people harvest and more closely embody my higher self. If I can learn to love others unconditionally and not need anything from others, I suppose all this heartbreak and suffering will have been worth it.

I still have A LOT of healing to do though. If I can just heal from this friendship breakup and the heartbreak of rejection, I'll be in a much better place probably.