Catalyst

[AnthroHeart]

Is there any interesting catalyst you have come across? How did you respond?

I saw a license plate that started with KLL  and made me think Kill.
Then 10 minutes later I saw another that started with KMN which stands for Kill Me Now.

I started to have some fear that my schizophrenia was starting up again and my mind started to create stories that I'd better kill myself before my ability gets out of control and I go insane again.

But I quickly allowed myself to just be ok, and didn't give my energy to the situation. Soon the catalyst was processed.

I asked my guidance and it said this post would be of benefit to others.

I also had catalyst earlier today where my heart started to open a little and begin to feel God's love. I was going to break down in tears, but I held my composure.
So there was positive-feeling catalyst as well.

[Sprout]

[edited original post]

Sorry, clearly didn't answer your question.

[AnthroHeart]

Thank you Sprout. I needed to hear that. I never thought we could blinded by our own love and light.
I don't feel I am too close to the Light. I feel comfortable. It feels warm though.
I think balance can be tricky because we don't want to force a balance. I believe we allow a balance to happen.
I'm learning more each day so things I said yesterday and thought yesterday may no longer apply.
I got insights as I needed them, and when I outgrew them, I learned they were no longer true or accurate for me.
That's why I'm going to try to reduce how much teaching I do. Because it could later be wrong.
I am naturally one to be chatty on the internet while quiet in real life. I don't say many words to others when I talk.
But I am at peace. And not much really bothers me.

Yeah, I want to make sure I am not getting too much of good or bad with my journey now.

[Sprout]

We are all students and teachers to one another, don't feel ill by progress, remember that learning is one of the primal distortions of TLOO. Whatever I type in is a learning tool to me as well, nothing is conclusive, just opinion. Which is why it is so important to be open hearted and honest, it is a feat that you certainly have.

[isis]

How did you respond?

[MangusKhan]

Is there any interesting catalyst you have come across? How did you respond?

I saw a license plate that started with KLL  and made me think Kill.
Then 10 minutes later I saw another that started with KMN which stands for Kill Me Now.

I started to have some fear that my schizophrenia was starting up again and my mind started to create stories that I'd better kill myself before my ability gets out of control and I go insane again.

But I quickly allowed myself to just be ok, and didn't give my energy to the situation. Soon the catalyst was processed.

I asked my guidance and it said this post would be of benefit to others.

I also had catalyst earlier today where my heart started to open a little and begin to feel God's love. I was going to break down in tears, but I held my composure.
So there was positive-feeling catalyst as well.

I feel like these instances aren't directly catalyst, but are rather residual physic energies from previous catalysts manifesting in your thoughts. I wonder, why didn't you allow yourself to cry? I think crying is a good thing. Every tear is a freed prisoner, a glorification of sorrow and joy, relinquished from your self and offered to the creator.

My catalyst of present is anger. Wrath at those who would dare act outside of my wishes. That immense urge to unleash hell on perceived traitors and restore order, even if I'm 1500km away. I can't say I'm at the point of accepting this wrath and blessing it.

[AnthroHeart]

I didn't cry that time when I felt God's love because last time I cried because of that, my heart chakra blocked further feeling of its love. I didn't want a shield to get stronger around my heart from increasing Love. Too much Love and it can overwhelm me.

But even though I didn't cry, my heart defense still came up and now I don't feel the love. I just feel pressure on my heart chakra. But not that good emotional feeling. It's just neutral pressure.

Even if I get to feel the genuine love from God, it's always short lived. Maybe so I don't get distracted. I don't know. But I would like to carry that with me through the day.

I will say that it didn't feel natural to hold composure and not cry.

Your metaphor for crying was beautiful.

[AnthroHeart]

Someone posted on a group messenger: "He is savage AF and he is playing with fire here....like literally"
Talking about someone else.

My schizophrenia immedaitely went "ding, ding, ding, fear, fear, fear, you're going too fast, you're going to get burned."
It likes to create stories thinking someone or something is talking to me.

I'm just starting to face my fears for like the first time. I realize this fear is the body's response. I need to live from the mind
and observe it. Not give into it, but be present in the face of the fears. And then thank them for their service.
It might be too hard to love them, but being present is enough. I am allowing at a pace that's right for me.
The energy of the fear slowly funnels in. And then it plateaus, and I allow it, and it goes away.
Sometimes it's the energetic feeling of the fear. Sometimes it's actual catalyst that's more of a not-just-energy-feeling thing.

[Minyatur]

I saw a license plate that started with KLL  and made me think Kill.

Just saw a license plate that ended with KLL and made me think of your post.

[JJCarsonian]

Is there any interesting catalyst you have come across? How did you respond?

I saw a license plate that started with KLL  and made me think Kill.
Then 10 minutes later I saw another that started with KMN which stands for Kill Me Now.

I started to have some fear that my schizophrenia was starting up again and my mind started to create stories that I'd better kill myself before my ability gets out of control and I go insane again.

But I quickly allowed myself to just be ok, and didn't give my energy to the situation. Soon the catalyst was processed.

I asked my guidance and it said this post would be of benefit to others.

I also had catalyst earlier today where my heart started to open a little and begin to feel God's love. I was going to break down in tears, but I held my composure.
So there was positive-feeling catalyst as well.

Yes! I lost my eye in fight at a drunk'n college party

[MangusKhan]

Is there any interesting catalyst you have come across?

Yes! I lost my eye in fight at a drunk'n college party

Do you mind me asking which eye it was? I have an interest in eye-related trauma as catalyst. I feel there's a great depth of symbology to the loss of an eye.

[JJCarsonian]

Do you mind me asking which eye it was? I have an interest in eye-related trauma as catalyst. I feel there's a great depth of symbology to the loss of an eye.

It is my left eye. I got in a fight w/this guy, and his friends jumped in. My retina cracked, hemmoraged - all i see is light, now.

Up until then, i got in alot of fights and always won and thought God was on my side since I never started any of them. Many times, I stepped in to protect other people. This last time, the guy was blocking my entrance to the back yard and was mad that i was trying to get by.

I havent gotten in a fight since.

How would you interpret this event?

[MangusKhan]

Do you mind me asking which eye it was? I have an interest in eye-related trauma as catalyst. I feel there's a great depth of symbology to the loss of an eye.

It is my left eye.  I got in a fight w/this guy, and his friends jumped in.  My retina cracked, hemmoraged - all i see is light, now.

Up until then, i got in alot of fights and always won and thought God was on my side since I never started any of them.  Many times, I stepped in to protect other people.  This last time, the guy was blocking my entrance to the back yard and was mad that i was trying to get by.

I havent gotten in a fight since.

How would you interpret this event?

Well it seems straightforward enough that you had been seeing life in a combative light, basically through the perspective of a negatively transformed mind, the "left hand path", seeing through the left eye. This attracted conflicts to your life, or those conflicts were pre-planned, and this would constitute the phase of your life in which you got in touch with that violent and controlling part of yourself. I don't mean to insinuate that you are evil or anything, "the battle" is a pretty big thing in this space/time. Someone has to fight, even in the name of good. So then comes your final battle, and the associated eye injury of the left eye. This basically symbolises the closing of the combative phase of your life, so now you can only see through the right eye, now you have to walk the right-hand path. Surely a challenge after so many instances of uncontested dominance.

This sort of catalyst is the other side of the coin for right-eye injuries, in which an otherwise loving entity begins a journey of power and control, now being able to only see through the left eye.

Just my take. I feel like you already understood the significance of the catalyst and came to your own conclusions before I wrote this, and I'm sure not all eye injuries carry such heavy meaning. Surely there is room for completely random trauma.

[Dekalb_Blues]

~

Out-of-print science fiction writer Kilgore Trout in Cohoes, New York, in 1975, having learned of the death 
of his estranged son, Leon, in a Swedish shipyard, having given his parakeet, "Cyclone Bill," his freedom, 
and about to become a vagabond. -- From Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake (1997)
http://kilgoretroutstories.tumblr.com/


Sure, you Humanoidal Earthlings are all about your ape-ancestral-predator-stereo-vision thing* (with all its attendant train of metaphoric affordances),
aren't you? Meanwhile, there are other ways of seeing what's what!
  



http://enriquemuda.es/en/project/hazte-u...ore-trout/

*

[JJCarsonian]

Well it seems straightforward enough that you had been seeing life in a combative light, basically through the perspective of a negatively transformed mind, the "left hand path", seeing through the left eye. This attracted conflicts to your life, or those conflicts were pre-planned, and this would constitute the phase of your life in which you got in touch with that violent and controlling part of yourself. I don't mean to insinuate that you are evil or anything, "the battle" is a pretty big thing in this space/time. Someone has to fight, even in the name of good. So then comes your final battle, and the associated eye injury of the left eye. This basically symbolises the closing of the combative phase of your life, so now you can only see through the right eye, now you have to walk the right-hand path. Surely a challenge after so many instances of uncontested dominance.

This sort of catalyst is the other side of the coin for right-eye injuries, in which an otherwise loving entity begins a journey of power and control, now being able to only see through the left eye.

Just my take. I feel like you already understood the significance of the catalyst and came to your own conclusions before I wrote this, and I'm sure not all eye injuries carry such heavy meaning. Surely there is room for completely random trauma.

That is a very intriguing interpretation of the catalyst. There is alot of symbolism in your interpretation. Do all catalysts have such deep symbolism, or is it possible we are drawing meaning where there is none?

I also got a ball of cancer in my left knee area taken out during the same time or shortly after. I had it for some time - i felt like it was there for 2-3 years. I could feel it, it hurt when i pressed on it but doctors just said "Oh just take tylenol". FInally i got it looked at and they found a little ball between the tissue. Obviously, it came to be but did not progress for a long period of time.

Any takes on that?

[Surfboard]

Today, after 3 months of no fap, I couldn't help myself and kept touching until i came(wasn't trying to), then I looked at the time and it was 4:44...

I have had a couple awesome and crazy dreams lately

3 have had the presence of me in bed being held down by a dark presence and having to over power it with thought.


In a dream I was biking with a group of friends who stole something from a guy. I decided to let him use my bike to try and catch up with them. He didn't get very far and I caught up with him in the woods and he grabbed a stick and was showing me how to do something with it. I felt amazing

Then maybe 15 minutes later I was in my bed on the astral plane, and a bouncing white light was on the other side of my bed. I embraced it and I felt an energy of love. It was surreal, it was as if I was hugging myself with endless amounts of love.

After embracing the energy I was forced to focus on some scribe. It looked to be a list of lessons, nicely spaced out. It scrolled down and It checked something off the list. When the scribe dissapeared I was in a room with magical creatures. I was following a fairy who told me that they were a group of Earthangels something like (99 angelic Earthangels). I followed the old fairy around asking all sorts of questions. I didnt remember any because I thought to write them down (in the astral world) because I have bad memory. We then went to sit on a bed and their was a deer which was beautiful.

I had thoughts of humping the deer, and then it flipped and the deer kept humping my ass, and I just started laughing and laughing because the distortion I face was too funny when I realized my thoughts controlled the deer. And then I woke up.

I saw an old co-worker I had a crush on, we were at a party or play or something and we hugged. She told me I hugged her for a little too long. I don't remember much there but a couple dreams later we we're at a store like Walgreens and she was working there. She was in the race for a promotion to be a manager but there was another person who she though was gonna get it. I gave her a hug with my man part on her things and she wouldn't let go. I started getting hard and had a wet dream just from the hug.

The same night I don't remember much of this one, but me and some dude knocked an attractive girl out who was attacking us or something. And I looked at him and had the idea of taking her to a bed. I think I started to rape her and a cop car pulled up so I finished with a pocket pussy. And I woke up cumming

Oh disortions

A couple of separate dreams I have woken up at 3:33, 4:44, and 5:55.

[MangusKhan]

Well it seems straightforward enough that you had been seeing life in a combative light, basically through the perspective of a negatively transformed mind, the "left hand path", seeing through the left eye. This attracted conflicts to your life, or those conflicts were pre-planned, and this would constitute the phase of your life in which you got in touch with that violent and controlling part of yourself. I don't mean to insinuate that you are evil or anything, "the battle" is a pretty big thing in this space/time. Someone has to fight, even in the name of good. So then comes your final battle, and the associated eye injury of the left eye. This basically symbolises the closing of the combative phase of your life, so now you can only see through the right eye, now you have to walk the right-hand path. Surely a challenge after so many instances of uncontested dominance.

This sort of catalyst is the other side of the coin for right-eye injuries, in which an otherwise loving entity begins a journey of power and control, now being able to only see through the left eye.

Just my take. I feel like you already understood the significance of the catalyst and came to your own conclusions before I wrote this, and I'm sure not all eye injuries carry such heavy meaning. Surely there is room for completely random trauma.

That is a very intriguing interpretation of the catalyst.  There is alot of symbolism in your interpretation.  Do all catalysts have such deep symbolism, or is it possible we are drawing meaning where there is none?

I also got a ball of cancer in my left knee area taken out during the same time or shortly after.  I had it for some time - i felt like it was there for 2-3 years. I could feel it, it hurt when i pressed on it but doctors just said "Oh just take tylenol".  FInally i got it looked at and they found a little ball between the tissue.  Obviously, it came to be but did not progress for a long period of time.

Any takes on that?

All I know about cancer is what I read in LOO, sorry. As for finding meaning where there is none, it's possible, but the eyes are such important parts of the body and the life experience. To change the vision is to change the perception of life itself. I would expand on the eye injuries, saying that the eyes, on a purely physiological level, are each connected to a hemisphere of the brain, and to alter the eyes will alter the brain. Usually this would have to happen earlier in the life experience though, as a child, in order to have a deep and lasting effect. But there would still an effect regardless. So I see the eyes, and catalyst of eye trauma, as being related to the balancing/unbalancing of perception.

[Glow]

All I know about cancer is what I read in LOO, sorry. As for finding meaning where there is none, it's possible, but the eyes are such important parts of the body and the life experience. To change the vision is to change the perception of life itself. I would expand on the eye injuries, saying that the eyes, on a purely physiological level, are each connected to a hemisphere of the brain, and to alter the eyes will alter the brain. Usually this would have to happen earlier in the life experience though, as a child, in order to have a deep and lasting effect. But there would still an effect regardless. So I see the eyes, and catalyst of eye trauma, as being related to the balancing/unbalancing of perception.

Thats pretty interesting. I was born quite premature and one sign was my eyes. They were not finished developing so i got my first pair of glasses at age 4. My perspective through life was always offbeat and very different from everyone else physically and philosophicaly(maybe because I never wore the glasses) also I could see movement at a distance way sooner that anyone else.

Anyways I finally got laser vision correction the same year basically the same time I started my dark night, ego death and reawakening from who I had been .
I see very clearly.

[JJCarsonian]

All I know about cancer is what I read in LOO, sorry. As for finding meaning where there is none, it's possible, but the eyes are such important parts of the body and the life experience. To change the vision is to change the perception of life itself. I would expand on the eye injuries, saying that the eyes, on a purely physiological level, are each connected to a hemisphere of the brain, and to alter the eyes will alter the brain. Usually this would have to happen earlier in the life experience though, as a child, in order to have a deep and lasting effect. But there would still an effect regardless. So I see the eyes, and catalyst of eye trauma, as being related to the balancing/unbalancing of perception.

Thats pretty interesting. I was born quite premature and one sign was my eyes. They were not finished developing so i got my first pair of glasses at age 4. My perspective through live was always offbeat and very different from everyone else(maybe because I never wore the glasses) also I could see movement at a distance way sooner that anyone else.

Anyways I finally got laser vision correction the same year basically the same time I started my dark night, ego death and reawakening from who I had been .
I see very clearly.

I like to fix my cracked retina - is that possible with intelligent infinity?

[AnthroHeart]

All I know about cancer is what I read in LOO, sorry. As for finding meaning where there is none, it's possible, but the eyes are such important parts of the body and the life experience. To change the vision is to change the perception of life itself. I would expand on the eye injuries, saying that the eyes, on a purely physiological level, are each connected to a hemisphere of the brain, and to alter the eyes will alter the brain. Usually this would have to happen earlier in the life experience though, as a child, in order to have a deep and lasting effect. But there would still an effect regardless. So I see the eyes, and catalyst of eye trauma, as being related to the balancing/unbalancing of perception.

Thats pretty interesting. I was born quite premature and one sign was my eyes. They were not finished developing so i got my first pair of glasses at age 4. My perspective through live was always offbeat and very different from everyone else(maybe because I never wore the glasses) also I could see movement at a distance way sooner that anyone else.

Anyways I finally got laser vision correction the same year basically the same time I started my dark night, ego death and reawakening from who I had been .
I see very clearly.

I like to fix my cracked retina - is that possible with intelligent infinity?

The higher self could do it under hypnosis if there is no attachments or some other subconscious reason for holding onto that.
Well Ra said that a man purified of all flaws could move a mountain.
So if you could accept intelligent infinity in full and transform your body to a light body (over time), you can do way more than fix a retina. You can traverse the Universe with unfettered tread as Ra put it. I've seen the higher self heal someone's back pain, as it happened when I was in hypnosis and my higher self came through and healed it. QHHT can do that. But you may have blockages that prevent that. Belief also helps as does will and faith.

If you penetrate intelligent infinity enough you could even fly. There really is no limit to infinity.

[MangusKhan]

As I was sitting in the library today this guy came in acting funny. He seemed too friendly in the worse kind of way. He sat down at the computer next to me and started talking to me. It turned out he was a homeless ex-addict who's 7y.o. daughter had just been killed by a drunk driver. He broke down and cried and I didn't know what to do but just be there with him as he made a scene and people started shuffling away. I decided that this was clearly God giving me another surprise duty and took him to the park to drink beer and smoke ciggies and talk through his woes in a more private setting. Things got out of hand though and, long story short, I basically ended up watching over this guy while he shot up heroin in the outer suburbs. He was okay, and between the heroin and being able to vent his feelings he was a lot better by the time I said goodbye. I told him I wouldn't see him again, but we hugged and he cried.

I don't even know how I feel about all this. Fear for humanity. I'm so tired I could cry. This post is just a secondhand vent.

[JJCarsonian]

The higher self could do it under hypnosis if there is no attachments or some other subconscious reason for holding onto that.
Well Ra said that a man purified of all flaws could move a mountain.
So if you could accept intelligent infinity in full and transform your body to a light body (over time), you can do way more than fix a retina. You can traverse the Universe with unfettered tread as Ra put it. I've seen the higher self heal someone's back pain, as it happened when I was in hypnosis and my higher self came through and healed it. QHHT can do that. But you may have blockages that prevent that. Belief also helps as does will and faith.

If you penetrate intelligent infinity enough you could even fly. There really is no limit to infinity.

man i would love that.. I heard that was possible through Delores Cannon - would love to do that someday

[JJCarsonian]

As I was sitting in the library today this guy came in acting funny. He seemed too friendly in the worse kind of way. He sat down at the computer next to me and started talking to me. It turned out he was a homeless ex-addict who's 7y.o. daughter had just been killed by a drunk driver. He broke down and cried and I didn't know what to do but just be there with him as he made a scene and people started shuffling away. I decided that this was clearly God giving me another surprise duty and took him to the park to drink beer and smoke ciggies and talk through his woes in a more private setting. Things got out of hand though and, long story short, I basically ended up watching over this guy while he shot up heroin in the outer suburbs. He was okay, and between the heroin and being able to vent his feelings he was a lot better by the time I said goodbye. I told him I wouldn't see him again, but we hugged and he cried.

I don't even know how I feel about all this. Fear for humanity. I'm so tired I could cry. This post is just a secondhand vent.

you're a better man than me, i guess. I will help out when i feel a positive energy from the person. If i feel a negative energy, i tend to leave it be

[AnthroHeart]

As I was sitting in the library today this guy came in acting funny. He seemed too friendly in the worse kind of way. He sat down at the computer next to me and started talking to me. It turned out he was a homeless ex-addict who's 7y.o. daughter had just been killed by a drunk driver. He broke down and cried and I didn't know what to do but just be there with him as he made a scene and people started shuffling away. I decided that this was clearly God giving me another surprise duty and took him to the park to drink beer and smoke ciggies and talk through his woes in a more private setting. Things got out of hand though and, long story short, I basically ended up watching over this guy while he shot up heroin in the outer suburbs. He was okay, and between the heroin and being able to vent his feelings he was a lot better by the time I said goodbye. I told him I wouldn't see him again, but we hugged and he cried.

I don't even know how I feel about all this. Fear for humanity. I'm so tired I could cry. This post is just a secondhand vent.

you're a better man than me, i guess.  I will help out when i feel a positive energy from the person.  If i feel a negative energy, i tend to leave it be

Just remember when you're reading if someone is positive to do it out of a place of love and not fear. Otherwise you can get a wrong reading.
Check out the movie Look Again if you're interested in seeing examples. I think it's on Amazon Prime.

[MangusKhan]

As I was sitting in the library today this guy came in acting funny. He seemed too friendly in the worse kind of way. He sat down at the computer next to me and started talking to me. It turned out he was a homeless ex-addict who's 7y.o. daughter had just been killed by a drunk driver. He broke down and cried and I didn't know what to do but just be there with him as he made a scene and people started shuffling away. I decided that this was clearly God giving me another surprise duty and took him to the park to drink beer and smoke ciggies and talk through his woes in a more private setting. Things got out of hand though and, long story short, I basically ended up watching over this guy while he shot up heroin in the outer suburbs. He was okay, and between the heroin and being able to vent his feelings he was a lot better by the time I said goodbye. I told him I wouldn't see him again, but we hugged and he cried.

I don't even know how I feel about all this. Fear for humanity. I'm so tired I could cry. This post is just a secondhand vent.

you're a better man than me, i guess.  I will help out when i feel a positive energy from the person.  If i feel a negative energy, i tend to leave it be

I don't mind being used as an emotional tampon from time to time, it's just very important to assert that you're doing it because you feel bad for their situation and want to help them, and not because you want to be friends. Hit-and-run service is not so taxing. I feel a lot better this morning than I did last night, but if I now had to share energy with the guy again and again under some pretense of friendship that would just drive me insane.

His little girl got killed by a drunk driver, that's terrible. Someone had to give him an opportunity to vent and talk through his feelings, otherwise he'd still be wondering around the public library scaring people.

[Sacred Fool]

Hmm, talk about catalyst.

In the face of this guy's suffering through serious internal imbalance as a result of, possibly, the driver doing the same for his own reasons, I'd say you navigated the situation with impressive poise, dude.  Rather than recoil at the icky, repulsive side of the magnet, you supported the positive side of the polarity.  The guy you met was suffering because he loved his daughter; that love should be supported, indeed.

 

[loostudent]

Thanks all for sharing your experiences!

Ra said other-self is the primary catalyst here in 3rd density. I have a lot of learning to do in this field. I am often faced with a lot of interactions with people and situations and roles where I have difficulty to take the initiative, to fight for respect, obidience and appreciation from others, to defend myself, to open myself ... And that often puts me in anger and despair. Another catalyst is also a bussy schedule and a lot of tasks. I would prefer a simpler way of life but this would be no challenge for retaining inner peace I guess.

Sometimes I ask myself if the aim of catalyst is to remain in difficulties and learn to accept and improve on weak points ... or to take a great effort to change the situation, try something different, stick to what you're good at and make life more easy, quiet and simple.

[Jade]

As I was sitting in the library today this guy came in acting funny. He seemed too friendly in the worse kind of way. He sat down at the computer next to me and started talking to me. It turned out he was a homeless ex-addict who's 7y.o. daughter had just been killed by a drunk driver. He broke down and cried and I didn't know what to do but just be there with him as he made a scene and people started shuffling away. I decided that this was clearly God giving me another surprise duty and took him to the park to drink beer and smoke ciggies and talk through his woes in a more private setting. Things got out of hand though and, long story short, I basically ended up watching over this guy while he shot up heroin in the outer suburbs. He was okay, and between the heroin and being able to vent his feelings he was a lot better by the time I said goodbye. I told him I wouldn't see him again, but we hugged and he cried.

I don't even know how I feel about all this. Fear for humanity. I'm so tired I could cry. This post is just a secondhand vent.

Great story, thank you for sharing.

To put this into perspective, a higher-class person might likely deal with the catalyst in a very similar way - though their heroin comes in pill form. Substance abuse is rampant in our society and using it to numb the pain of a severely traumatic event is actually quite socially acceptable. Hopefully your love helps him begin an upward spiral, instead of the likely downward spiral he would have begun alone. Blessings to you and him, and thanks.

[MangusKhan]

Hmm, talk about catalyst.

In the face of this guy's suffering through serious internal imbalance as a result of, possibly, the driver doing the same for his own reasons, I'd say you navigated the situation with impressive poise, dude. Rather than recoil at the icky, repulsive side of the magnet, you supported the positive side of the polarity. The guy you met was suffering because he loved his daughter; that love should be supported, indeed.

I recoiled a lot really. The experience was genuinely frightening. I wasn't afraid of him, he was just a broken sad man with a lot of issues. It was more a kind of existential dread I felt afterwards, like what I had just witnessed was only the tip of a giant iceberg of suffering; had I even really made a difference? Really makes me wonder how highly polarised beings are able to take on so much of others' suffering. I read a Quo session where they talk about Jesus's ability to know and accept all the suffering of the creator, or something to that meaning. That must be intense...

To put this into perspective, a higher-class person might likely deal with the catalyst in a very similar way - though their heroin comes in pill form. Substance abuse is rampant in our society and using it to numb the pain of a severely traumatic event is actually quite socially acceptable. Hopefully your love helps him begin an upward spiral, instead of the likely downward spiral he would have begun alone. Blessings to you and him, and thanks.

Thanks Jade, you're right about the class dynamics at play. This guy had led a pretty sad life, not born into comfort at all. His first girlfriend had already died of a heroin overdose by the time he was 14, to give you an idea of the kind of experiences he'd been collecting up until this latest tragedy. He broke all his needles and threw them in the bin after he was done shooting up though. I like to think he will start in a new direction now, but I wouldn't blame him if he chooses to take his time.

[AnthroHeart]

Really makes me wonder how highly polarised beings are able to take on so much of others' suffering. I read a Quo session where they talk about Jesus's ability to know and accept all the suffering of the creator, or something to that meaning. That must be intense...

That was beautiful. It makes me think that could be an example to follow.
Q'uo said that Jesus offered his incarnation to the ever increasing pleasure and agony of the Creator.
Maybe by that it helped Creator not suffer so much.

There's a being I'm working with now, though he doesn't seem to have any suffering. Except maybe the sorrow for everyones troubles. Though I probably would be willing to accept it if he showed it.