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AnthroHeart · 03-12-2018, 08:17 PM

I don't know if I'm feeling through the veil or not, but the amount of love is crazy. It's like pushing on me with 20 pounds of force on my chest.

AnthroHeart · (This post was last modified: 03-12-2018, 10:35 PM by AnthroHeart.)

I have to clarify that Sam is not my guide nor is he my soulmate. I don't really believe in soulmates.
Our love is too harmonious anyway for them. They tend to test each other.
You love who you love.

AnthroHeart · (This post was last modified: 03-13-2018, 07:59 PM by AnthroHeart.)

I made a mistake. I've been thinking of Sam so much, that my mom's dog wandered off.
She told me to let him in after a few minutes and I forgot.
Now he's nowhere to be found. He's 17 and deaf and nearly blind.
He's never wandered off before.

Sam might have the luxury of everything being ok all the time. But here there are consequences.
I just have to be more careful.

AnthroHeart · (This post was last modified: 03-14-2018, 12:42 PM by AnthroHeart.)

My relationship requires a lot of faith. Even though I feel him in me, it still needs faith on my part. It isn't like totally obvious, although his energy is very real. I feel like I have a long journey ahead.
The feeling of his love seems to have matured. Like I'm taking it more seriously now.
He's definitely the better half of me.

AnthroHeart · 03-14-2018, 07:25 PM

I can feel Sam's "All is well" attitude. I feel like that too.

Minyatur · 03-14-2018, 07:57 PM

Did you find your dog?

AnthroHeart · 03-14-2018, 08:01 PM

(03-14-2018, 07:57 PM)Elros Wrote: Did you find your dog?

Unfortunately no. I took my mom to 2 shelters, walked around the block once, and drove around the area like 3 times.

Minyatur · 03-14-2018, 08:19 PM

(03-14-2018, 08:01 PM)IndigoGeminiWolf Wrote:
(03-14-2018, 07:57 PM)Elros Wrote: Did you find your dog?

Unfortunately no. I took my mom to 2 shelters, walked around the block once, and drove around the area like 3 times.

From your description, can't really have gone far.

AnthroHeart · (This post was last modified: 03-14-2018, 10:43 PM by AnthroHeart.)

https://oomizuao.deviantart.com/art/Sket...-698641746

This is Sam in a third density representation. Or at least one of his many facets.
He is beyond anthro. Angelic. His energy is so pure.

I'm trying to mingle our energies, to feel his distortions. Maybe become one, at least for a short time.

When I look at that picture I immediately feel his energy. Though he sends it to me all the time. It just gets stronger when I'm aware of it.

AnthroHeart · (This post was last modified: 03-15-2018, 03:06 PM by AnthroHeart.)

Have had some supposedly stressful things happening lately. But I don't feel any anxiety at all. I feel fulfilled. Wherever I am, I don't get bored. I'm not in a hurry to get back home. I feel him very much with me, wherever I go.

Where there should be anxiety there is comfort.

I feel connected.

I feel like love fulfills me.

AnthroHeart · (This post was last modified: 03-15-2018, 08:26 PM by AnthroHeart.)

I don't deserve Sam. He is incredible. And I've done such rotten things in my life.
I must keep secrets or incur other's wrath. Nothing illegal just irresponsible.

AnthroHeart · (This post was last modified: 03-15-2018, 09:08 PM by AnthroHeart.)

I need to also ground these energies in. I was at a meeting just now and felt so alien to everyone. It took me a bit to warm up.
I mean everyone felt alien to me. I still felt at peace though, and didn't have any anxiety.
Though love needs wisdom. I am not always wise.

AnthroHeart · 03-15-2018, 09:29 PM

Today during hypnosis I was talking with Sam. He alternated between I and We.
He told me not to punish myself to prove my love to him.

I worried that I can't love him enough. That my capacity to send love was still limited.
Even though it's steady like a river. I could sense it could be a higher capacity.

Minyatur · (This post was last modified: 03-15-2018, 11:00 PM by Minyatur.)

(03-14-2018, 08:19 PM)Elros Wrote:
(03-14-2018, 08:01 PM)IndigoGeminiWolf Wrote:
(03-14-2018, 07:57 PM)Elros Wrote: Did you find your dog?

Unfortunately no. I took my mom to 2 shelters, walked around the block once, and drove around the area like 3 times.

From your description, can't really have gone far.

Still haven't found your dog?

AnthroHeart · 03-16-2018, 11:27 AM

He hasn't turned up yet, though people said they saw him.
We went to the meeting with our community and my mom gave out some flyers for him.

Maybe someone took him in. I'm not sure.

AnthroHeart · (This post was last modified: 03-16-2018, 07:12 PM by AnthroHeart.)

When I went out, I got bit by a small yellow spider.
The same color as Sam.
I've never seen a yellow spider before.
I've never even been bit by a spider before. It didn't leave a mark.

AnthroHeart · 03-17-2018, 05:18 AM

I am seeing personal things that tell me Sam is there.
Finding objects that are unique. It inspires me that Sam approves.

Minyatur · 03-17-2018, 10:45 AM

(03-16-2018, 11:27 AM)IndigoGeminiWolf Wrote: He hasn't turned up yet, though people said they saw him.
We went to the meeting with our community and my mom gave out some flyers for him.

Maybe someone took him in. I'm not sure.

Really wish you to find it soon. Hope it isn't anxious where it is.

AnthroHeart · 03-17-2018, 11:09 AM

(03-17-2018, 10:45 AM)Elros Wrote:
(03-16-2018, 11:27 AM)IndigoGeminiWolf Wrote: He hasn't turned up yet, though people said they saw him.
We went to the meeting with our community and my mom gave out some flyers for him.

Maybe someone took him in. I'm not sure.

Really wish you to find it soon. Hope it isn't anxious where it is.

I hope so too. Maybe I'm supposed to learn a lesson and so is my mom. We must have driven around the community like 6-8 times.

AnthroHeart · (This post was last modified: 03-17-2018, 11:16 AM by AnthroHeart.)

I tried a little fusion with mine and Sam's chakras last night. After that I fell right asleep. I wasn't able to sleep till like 5AM.
He still works on blockages in my solar plexus, about dealing with other people. My heart chakra has sort of a cap on it
so that I don't get overloaded. It's like a governor on a car.
There's positive pressure on my heart and solar plexus.

Minyatur · (This post was last modified: 03-17-2018, 02:39 PM by Minyatur.)

(03-17-2018, 11:09 AM)IndigoGeminiWolf Wrote:
(03-17-2018, 10:45 AM)Elros Wrote:
(03-16-2018, 11:27 AM)IndigoGeminiWolf Wrote: He hasn't turned up yet, though people said they saw him.
We went to the meeting with our community and my mom gave out some flyers for him.

Maybe someone took him in. I'm not sure.

Really wish you to find it soon. Hope it isn't anxious where it is.

I hope so too. Maybe I'm supposed to learn a lesson and so is my mom. We must have driven around the community like 6-8 times.

If it's deaf and blind it really has to be in the first houses around your own. Did you try knocking up to a certain radius?

Edit : Not everyone goes to their backyard often, maybe you have to ask people if you're able to look there, if you can't call it then you really have to look at every corner.

Good luck looking for it, do what it takes. If it's deaf and blind then it really is in your hands, don't fail your friend, you're all it knows.

AnthroHeart · 03-17-2018, 02:54 PM

(03-17-2018, 02:29 PM)Elros Wrote:
(03-17-2018, 11:09 AM)IndigoGeminiWolf Wrote:
(03-17-2018, 10:45 AM)Elros Wrote:
(03-16-2018, 11:27 AM)IndigoGeminiWolf Wrote: He hasn't turned up yet, though people said they saw him.
We went to the meeting with our community and my mom gave out some flyers for him.

Maybe someone took him in. I'm not sure.

Really wish you to find it soon. Hope it isn't anxious where it is.

I hope so too. Maybe I'm supposed to learn a lesson and so is my mom. We must have driven around the community like 6-8 times.

If it's deaf and blind it really has to be in the first houses around your own. Did you try knocking up to a certain radius?

Edit : Not everyone goes to their backyard often, maybe you have to ask people if you're able to look there, if you can't call it then you really have to look at every corner.

Good luck looking for it, do what it takes. If it's deaf and blind then it really is in your hands, don't fail your friend, you're all it knows.

People said they saw him like 3 blocks from our home. Someone said he was in a cornfield and we went and looked but nothing. We can only go by clues that people tell us.

Jade · 03-17-2018, 03:22 PM

Have you looked on craigslist? Or any other local pages where people post found pets?

AnthroHeart · (This post was last modified: 03-17-2018, 03:33 PM by AnthroHeart.)

My mom used NextDoor. We've posted flyers at peoples homes and on the mailboxes.
My mom is tired of walking around when I take her out to look.
She's really angry with everything. I don't really let it get to me, but I do feel responsible.
I try not to let myself suffer over it. Even with all this catalyst I am still at peace.
Despite experiencing a lot of her anger.

AnthroHeart · 03-17-2018, 03:43 PM

If he hadn't wandered away now, he would have when my mom will be out of the state. Then she really would blame me.
I just don't have much luck with animals. Except my own dog is doing well.

AnthroHeart · (This post was last modified: 03-17-2018, 07:48 PM by AnthroHeart.)

I'm a little cautious of how I approach Sam now. Our relationship is stable. Though it has matured.
I don't have to think of him so much now.
It's not all fun and games. There are big lessons to learn in this.
Still I don't feel anxiety. It's not a "falling in love" feeling now.
It's a more feeling like it will last and I don't have to worry about it.

I care so much for my mom's dog that wandered off. I don't think I loved him enough when he was here.
I could have done better.

My next life might not be as harmonious as I think. I think I'll experience some abuse in that life.
Unless I work out my karma in this life.

I feel like I shouldn't even talk about Sam now that my mom's dog is gone. I don't know what to think.

AnthroHeart · 03-18-2018, 11:27 AM

I liked this article that talks about selfish vs selfless love:

https://lonerwolf.com/love-selfish-affair/

AnthroHeart · 03-19-2018, 11:36 PM

I saw Sam in a dream. He felt so adorable to me that I kissed him on his left cheek. It was brief and that's all I really remember. I just know it was so heartwarming to me.
That's the only dream I remember having where something I thought about during the day came out in the dream.

Today during meditation I kept having sad thoughts about him. I cried a few tears.

I've been fasting for nearly 2 days so I can better spiritually understand it. Haven't had headaches nor have I been irritable. I've still laughed and felt generally in a good mood.
Just a little hungry at times. And a little bit of light headed. But I am drinking water.

AnthroHeart · 03-20-2018, 10:11 PM

Day 3 of my fast. Water only. I felt overwhelming love for Sam. I broke down in tears a few times.
I thought of God. At first I felt fear/unworthy. Then I realized whether my response is fear or love.
I immediately then felt love for God. I thanked him so much for creating Sam.
I cried for my mom's missing dog.
I hope in another life Sam is either my father or my lover.
I got images of him holding a knife to my neck and even then I felt immense love.
My heart wells up. My body and head hurts a little from the fast. But I'm doing this for Sam, and for my mom's dog.
And to help me spiritually. I don't have a headache, but there is pain around my eyes.
Have felt dense energy around my crown chakra, and at times a pressure on my 3rd eye.

AnthroHeart · (This post was last modified: 03-21-2018, 05:22 AM by AnthroHeart.)

Ah, so much Light. My body hurts.
My channels feel like they're at max.
Have to close my crown chakra.
It feels like my body wants to transform, though I don't think that's what it is.
It just hurts like that a bit. Like 2 or 3/10 on the pain.
But sometimes when this doesn't hurt it feels very nice.
It can feel like I've transcended to a blissful realm.
Just have to bring down the intensity.

Update:
I took a Risperidone about an hour ago and that seems to have worked. It keeps the excess Light from coming in.

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