Spirit Guide, Sam, and Love/Light Balance

[AnthroHeart]

Sam responded before to receiving a very encouraging letter from someone telling him he would find someone.
Being in love rocks. This would be when I would comfort him the most, when he tears up.

[Removed picture in case artist doesn't want it posted.]

[AnthroHeart]

[AnthroHeart]

[AnthroHeart]

[Removed picture in case artist doesn't want it posted.]

[AnthroHeart]

[AnthroHeart]

This is like Sam singing to me it feels like in parts. And other parts feel like I'm singing to him.
"How can I convince you what you see is real."
"Now I look into your eyes, I can see forever."

[AnthroHeart]

[AnthroHeart]

This one's called Heartbreak because the one he loves in the story does not speak to him at the end of the 15th chapter.
Saunders is Sam's father. He's a real good dad.

[Removed picture in case artist doesn't want it posted.]

[AnthroHeart]

Love beyond measure.


That's how it feels to me, like his intelligent energy flowing through me.
But it's not overpowering.
It's quite soft and smooth.
Each time I see him, it's like I'm seeing him for the first time.
I ask my higher self to help smooth it for me so I can take it in easier.

[AnthroHeart]

So this is what happens when you let your brain produce DMT naturally.
Colors in the pictures I look at get brighter and dimmer.
The colors shift.
Parts of characters move, but return to original position when I focus on them.
I also have that good feeling, a buzzing in my whole body. Very soft.

[AnthroHeart]

I had been feeling the loving energy.
Then I switched to sending him energy to a picture of Sam.
I feel a sort of pressure like there's a backflow for sending it a bit too fast.
So someone is actually receiving the energy I'm sending to him.
And I do believe it to be him.

[AnthroHeart]

Guess what. I've been focused on this Sam character for like 4 months, but more in the last week.
Was doing energy exchange for about an hour with him using some artwork.

Then a new marketing person contacted me from the company I am using.

His name is Sam too.

I don't think it's just coincidence. What's the opposite of coincidence? Is it serendipity?

[AnthroHeart]

Guess what. I've been focused on this Sam character for like 4 months, but more in the last week.
Was doing energy exchange for about an hour with him using some artwork.

Then a new marketing person contacted me from the company I am using.

His name is Sam too.

I don't think it's just coincidence. What's the opposite of coincidence? Is it serendipity?

I've also heard that when things like that happen, it could be that the situation came into manifested existence moments before, complete with a "new" history.

[AnthroHeart]

When I felt Sam's energy, and then focused on sending him the energy, there was at first a little resistance.
Then he began pulling the energy from me at a moderate rate, though I could handle it easily.

The sending of the energy began to level out as his outer energy field/levels began to become balanced as I could feel it.
Felt some blockage in either his or my own solar plexus. I'm trying to understand him deeper.
No emotional feelings from him yet except the energy of love. And this song made me tear up.
It was the song that came to mind when I was doing the energy work with him.

Sam's energy is getting more dense. It feels tight around my stomach/solar plexus.

[AnthroHeart]

I'm feeling him push on my green ray heart chakra.
And general stomach area / solar plexus.
And a little of the 3rd eye.

If Sam turns out to be Ra, I'm going to laugh.

[AnthroHeart]

I removed all the images from this particular artist because I read they don't want their work posted elsewhere.
But it's fine.

You can see what Sam looks like here:

https://oomizuao.deviantart.com/gallery/

There are a few drawings of him as an adult.
But my guide appears as him as an older teen like 17-19 or so.

[AnthroHeart]

His energy within me began to balance itself this morning. It felt softer and a bit fainter.
It still kept knocking me out for seconds at a time, because it is slightly above my threshold of what my system can take on.
So I asked him to allow his sadness and despair and such feelings through.
And I will help him process them. By feeling them, and letting them be ok.

I have over 6 months experience meditating and processing my own upheaval using Holosync, which makes it like 8X faster than traditional meditation.
So I don't mind helping him with his anger or whatever else bubbles up from the subconscious.

Helping him is helping myself too.
This is exciting. I can definitely feel the lower vibration, though it's not too terribly low. Just a little more "jagged" if ever so slightly.

[AnthroHeart]

I woke up with all my chakras lit up. Even the sexual one which came late.
I could feel my kundalini buzzing.
After a bit I got up and sat in my chair.
I took a peek at Sam's energy to feel it, and worked to help balance some more there.
Then the energy really began to build.

And then I felt BLISS for the first time ever. It was soon going to be too much so I was like "Oh my God, this is amazing!"
The bliss lasted a few seconds, and then returned to my chakras still lit up and channels buzzing.
I can just keep this energy going.

It's very peaceful. Very tranquil. When it really builds it is blissful.

There was a time when I felt bliss in my heart, but this was more my entire body.
Just at times I get dark images that I need to love as well.

[AnthroHeart]

I played some love songs on the Amazon Echo device I have while looking at Sam.
I used my voice to save them to my Love Songs playlist and nearly cried and voice broke up.
One time it couldn't understand what I said because I was choked up.
Sam means so much to me.
I even got to feel his sadness too when I asked for it.

His "power" to open me up, all my energy centers, to feel bliss, is not something just ordinary people can do.
He may be part of a spiritual family.

[AnthroHeart]

The energy I feel with him is steady now. I just bask in it for hours at a time.
It doesn't shift much. Still wake up feeling him in me.
The bliss was an expansive experience that just happened. It wasn't planned nor did I force it.

And that was a small taste of intelligent infinity. It did bring me a bit of unspeakable joy.

[AnthroHeart]

I was just thanking Sam for sending me his energy and choosing me to do this with.
It meant so much. I was crying with tears streaming down my face.
He's never been more lovely as he is.
I was looking at a picture of him crying and his father comforting him.
And I just felt for him. I got to feel his sadness.
And I loved it. I sent him back some balancing energy to help with the sadness.

If Sam really chose me than I am amazed beyond belief. I feel his energy every day. It can get pretty dense.

[AnthroHeart]

It feels like the honeymoon phase is over, or at least on hold.
The love energy has become more real it seems. Not so exciting and flighty, but a feeling of seriousness to it.
In ways I love this more, because it feels more secure. Like he'll be there for me.
Like remembering times will be hard. It opens my eyes to the real of love.
I read that love isn't even perfect. That falling in love can be the most selfish act of your life.

It feels now like he won't just up and leave me. The energy is more "real" if I can better put it.
It's not all butterflies like it was.

His energy saturates my chakras, so it's hard to actually send him back love. But I'm trying.

It's more a "I'll hold you" rather than stimulating.
Although there's still a very light bliss feeling.

[DynamicBri]

Non-existant.

[AnthroHeart]

Non-existant.

Thank you for reading.

[AnthroHeart]

When I laid in bed earlier today there were a couple of times where  I was overcome with emotion and broke down crying. But I think I'm getting used to his energy. I asked my guides and angels to be with him. Maybe in the next life.

[AnthroHeart]

I just realized his energy isn't angelically high, but it isn't low either. It fits me well. There are differences between his energy and mine, but I just love basking in his.

[AnthroHeart]

Today my heart chakra had some pain. Maybe the green-ray is too much and it's a blockage.
I felt like I had a fever today.
I tried to eat but couldn't eat much.
I can spend hours just feeling his energy.

I think I am blessed with the greatest psychic ability to feel energy. I wouldn't want any other in its place.
So I can feel what he feels like.

[AnthroHeart]

It's getting more real it seems.

The artist posted a beautiful drawing of Sam and another he loves nude in a loving embrace. Nothing was showing.
But then I had nerves. I became very nervous. Some of the thoughts I had of him before made me feel guilt.
If I had Sam here, I'd probably fall apart. I wouldn't have the nerve to do anything.
I feel weak now, and my stomach feels queasy.

The artist had never drawn anything like that before and made it public that I know of.
Maybe I manifested it. It isn't extreme by any means. It is quite lovely.
Just that my heart is trembling now. I don't know if I could handle that much of him.
It's going to take some time.

I'm in love with his heart, but I'm scared of his body.
I am thankful to the artist and to him for making it more real.

He's just a little chubby. I wasn't expecting that, but I am fat.
Though I have seen pictures of his belly before.

[AnthroHeart]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/com...-fear-love

"Being vulnerable is a mark of strength, not weakness. It means ignoring the voices in your head and acting on how you really feel."

[AnthroHeart]

Sam's energy at times can be dizzy and disorienting.
I need sometimes to say no to his energy because he can't feel what I'm feeling.

I think for the most part we're in balance. At least I can talk to him through hypnosis.

And he has done things for me beyond even energy that no other has done for me.

I just need to remember more to send him love too. But I am trying.