Why Aren't Men Fighting Back? - The Sexual Assault of Men and Boys

[YinYang]

The "completely new spirit and attitude" that Alan Watts describes, is the rise of the feminine aspect - gentle, nurturing, maternal and life-giving. People give a lot away in their choice of words - "fight back" "gender war" "conquer" etc. That's the old energy that's waning. The energy where everything is seen through the lens of a contest... let's "fight back". You are trying to close the stable doors after the horse has bolted I'm afraid, and besides... "war-fight-war-fight-war-fight"... where has that gotten us thus far?

[APeacefulWarrior]

It's also worth mentioning that the theme of "Men can't let women have equal status because then they'll treat men like men have treated women" goes back a long time.  During the women's suffrage movements in Britain and the US, that was one of the most common themes among anti-suffrage messaging aimed at men. Well, when they weren't simply calling the women ugly and\or outright advocating for violence against them, anyway.

And, of course, the level of projection is truly notable, as is the apparent lack of self-awareness regarding the overall situation.

[YinYang]

And, of course, the level of projection is truly notable, as is the apparent lack of self-awareness regarding the overall situation.

True words!

[Aion]

Pewpewpewpew~! Everybody shoot your truth guns!

[YinYang]

"Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters."

- Albert Einstein

...oops! I just quoted a man, my bad!... let's try harder...

“There is a single truth, it filters through different stories and languages because people come from different cultures and speak different languages. And this truth has manifested itself through millennia, in multiple ways. Different people belong to different manifestations of truth. Some people take those manifestations and turn them into religions, or into gathering places or into a system. Others take those manifestations and allow that light to illuminate the paths on their inward journeys. All in all, the only reason why there is strife or hatred in any way, is because of the strife and hatred and intolerance inside of people. Truth does not call for any division or any hatred or intolerance of any kind. In order to love one thing, this does not mean we need to put down another one.”

― C. JoyBell C.

[YinYang]

“The philosopher is in love with truth, that is, not with the changing world of sensation, which is the object of opinion, but with the unchanging reality which is the object of knowledge.

And isn't it a bad thing to be deceived about the truth, and a good thing to know what the truth is? For I assume that by knowing the truth you mean knowing things as they really are.

When the mind's eye rests on objects illuminated by truth and reality, it understands and comprehends them, and functions intelligently; but when it turns to the twilight world of change and decay, it can only form opinions, its vision is confused and its beliefs shifting, and it seems to lack intelligence.

I don't know anything that gives me greater pleasure, or profit either, than talking or listening to philosophy. But when it comes to ordinary conversation, such as the stuff you talk about financiers and the money market, well, I find it pretty tiresome personally, and I feel sorry that my friends should think they're being very busy when they're really doing absolutely nothing. Of course, I know your idea of me: you think I'm just a poor unfortunate, and I shouldn't wonder if you’re right. But then I don't THINK that you're unfortunate— I know you are.

False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.

They deem him their worst enemy who tells them the truth."

— Plato, 427 BC- 347 BC, Classical Greece, Philosopher and Founder of the Academy in Athens (first institution of higher learning in the Western World)

[Jade]

I call you a troll because I can tell just by this: https://www.bring4th.org/forums/search.p...a97f04538f

And I can equally call you a Feminist Troll, @feminist_troll, for posting messages like this. The victimization of men, https://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthre...?tid=14270. From what I can tell, you’re obviously a highly charged Faux Feminist who uses feminism to bash and belittle non-feminists (usually men).

Do you have a specific criticism from something I said in that thread? Because that thread was my attempt to offer sincere sympathy to men, and I received mostly positive feedback. If you can't see that, then I doubt we're going to move to a place of understanding any time soon.

But, it's moot, because even if that thread WAS a troll post, the majority of my posts/threads engage the Law of One philosophy, and are not trolling. That was my critique. All of us have posted contentious threads, but it's people who ONLY post contentious/fearful threads that I become wary of. It's also against the forum rules to only post fear-based philosophies. So, I'm just attempting to do my best in this role as defender of this tiny corner of the internet.

80.8 Questioner: I am sorry for my lack of penetration of these mechanisms and I apologize for some rather stupid questions, but I think we have here a point that is somewhat central to what we are presently attempting to understand, so even though my next questions may be almost unacceptably stupid, I will attempt to try to understand what this power that our visitor seeks is and how he uses it. For it seems to me that this is central to the mind and the evolution of it in which we are involved.

As this entity that is our visitor increases his power through these works, what is the power that he increases? Can you describe it?

Ra: I am Ra. The power of which you speak is a spiritual power. The powers of the mind, as such, do not encompass such works as these. You may, with some fruitfulness, consider the possibilities of moonlight. You are aware that we have described the Matrix of the Spirit as a night. The moonlight, then, offers either a true picture seen in shadow or chimera and falsity. The power of falsity is deep as is the power to discern truth from shadow. The shadow of hidden things is an infinite depth in which is stored the power of the One Infinite Creator.

The adept, then, is working with the power of hidden things illuminated by that which can be false or true. To embrace falsity, to know it, to seek it, and to use it gives a power that is most great. This is the nature of the power of your visitor and may shed some light upon the power of one who seeks in order to serve others as well, for the missteps in the night are oh! so easy.

[tRistAn]

Shoutout dante, shoutout CA.

Youre drowning and you have the choice between a male and a female lifeguard to save your life. Who do you choose? Why?

/thread

<3

[YinYang]

One thing that is very characteristic of these times, is the level of exposure all over the show. Just look at how major American news outlets constantly get caught out for producing fake news stories... is it something with the stars? It would be interesting to hear from an astrologer on these matters.

[Nicholas]

The creation of this thread definitely has similarities to my own critique of turning a movement into a doctrine. I think it would be more useful to phrase the question as "Why do some feminist spoke people portray masculinity in a condescending fashion?" It was a very rare occasion when Ra spoke in an authoritative tone, but here is one such occasion with regards to the foundation ray in 3rd density and beyond.

"This ray may be understood to be the basic strengthening ray for each density. It shall never be condescended to as less important or productive of spiritual evolution, for it is the foundation ray." - 39.10

And so I suspect, for the most part at least, that there is a misdiagnoses occurring which is resulting in the suppression of masculinity. This suppression begins internally, and when enough individuals that are internally imbalanced group together, are organised by intelligent, educated (and resentful) leaders, It is not surprising to see a backlash against the feminist movement.

Another problem is this middle class obsession with corporate and political equity. I have listened intently for about 8-9 months now to a program on BBC radio 4 called "Women's Hour". Rarely have I heard the perspective of your average working class woman or mother. Admittedly, working class language can be a little blunt and abrasive, but at least it's refreshing to hear a politically incorrect perspective. A perspective nonetheless that is screaming out to be heard! (I love women's hour btw, because I am roughly 3/4 biased towards my masculine side). 

This perpetuating conflict can be de-polarized if we recognise the gems within each-others trash. But we tend to conflate how we perceive reality for who we actually are. We associate too closely with our thoughts and become defensive when our attempts to express them are challenged by others that are equally intimate with their own. 

Dante, your picture speaks so well about how most of us feel in society. It's a mixture of nihilism and primal outrage. 

And to the well meaning female members here:

The image of an achetypal female within the minds of the typical male is soo powerful and daunting, that image alone can suppress the desire to approach a typical female. And if it's suppressed, and the projection becomes ever more powerful, how do you think that would manifest itself in this new world of male/female working environments? Sexual harassment maybe? A women has a powerful tool at her disposal, which is the sharp end of her stiletto's!

Now that could easily be construed as apologising for an oppressor, or even blaming the oppressed. Or I might just have a point that not every situation is a clear cut example of male oppression.

Here is a working class perspective that seems to have an insight into the ordinary challenges of male/female reconciliation. What Karen is trying to articulate here is that society is biased towards the presupposition that females are more virtuous than males, which is what I refer to as a misdiagnoses.

[Coordinate_Apotheosis]

Shoutout dante, shoutout CA.

Youre drowning and you have the choice between a male and a female lifeguard to save your life. Who do you choose? Why?

/thread

<3

I don't think as someone drowning I've the luxury to choose, I'd be fine with either, both sexes are equal, biology differentiations not withstanding, anyone can be a good anything.

I was going to wait to reply after I had some time to set myself straight but this seems a good opportunity to say somethings on my mind about this thread.

For starters, I didn't perceive it as a troll thread, and while I've said some mean things to Jade, I've said meaner things to Dante.  I don't know if he's a troll though he does give off a sincere dismissive and sharp attitude that makes me feel wary of his sincerity, ESPECIALLY now having read his opinions of women.

He cites the trashy exceptions, but to be fair, he's also being dismissed in disturbing ways.

As was I for my admittance to the things I felt, and it just seems too easy to say femnazi and chauvinist.  Jade isn't a femnazi, neither was SMC, and by that extension I don't see Glow or Isis in ANYWAY resembling those things.  I don't think there's a femnazi on here.
I think some radical labeling against sexes by both sides has been revealed here.

Some labels I most noted for the power of disgust behind them were patriarchy and feminist.

Some results of my honest emotional outburst were women felt I was insincere, someone even said I had a persecution complex for being hurt by women.  Another insinuated me to be many ways of a disrespectful nature.  And overall the feeling was of being invalidated, oppressed while claiming to not be the oppressor.  I even admit to something that no one here seems to appreciate the sheer power and courage it takes to accept such. Then further even that is dismissed as a slippery scope.

All I see in this thread is everyone's sexism showing and instead of meeting it with catalyst and treating it with love, I see a very different result.

You know I was wrong to go off, everyone does, but in that moment I saw some clarity in retrospect, to be the person in pain and completely dismissed on all fronts.  Now I know how women feel, but more, now I deeply am validated in my beliefs that women and men, not so different.  I was oppressed by women the way men oppressed them.

Like, I hope no female here is taking pleasure from gifting the medicine they've been forced ro take all their life on a guy here.  It's like the fear of a matriarchy becoming likebthe patriarchy.  That isn't balance, that's swapping roles.

When people speak of equality, they often speak of inequality, and what's more, who said anything about a matriarchy? If equality is the goal, both a patriarchy and matriarchy must NOT be made.  George Washington saw the folly in a two party system of politics, I see the folly in only two choices of overseers.  The patriarchy must be balanced, turning it into a matriarchy isn't balance, equalizing the positions of power being held between men and women is also a dangerous judgment game of saying so-n-so is a man and there's too many men, he's highly qualified but there's no more spots for men.
That's sexism, you cannot discriminate against a person's sex.

Dante speaks of exceptions, I am like the thinktank of exceptions.  I even have a saying, there's an exception for everything, otherwise it wouldn't be infinite.

I know of women through friends who have made unfair advance in career due to sexual involvement with management, its extremely taboo and I only know from drunken admittance, I also know of women who lost jobs from similar things.  To accuse all women of this is ridiculous, Dante.  I have said some similar things to another friend and I'm going to say them to you.

This judgment is extremely unhealthy for you.  Women are supposed to be the joy of life (if you'll excuse that remark for a second and let me explain).

When God made Adam, he was lonely.  God saw this and fashioned him a mate called Eve.  Eve was this equal, made from Adam to be his equal,she was Adam, she came from him.  She wss as him, and they shared, seemingly everything, even a simple apple.  It was through her exploration that mankind accrued intelligence of free will,of good and evil.
There's anotger iteration, a prequel.  Adam was made at the same time as Lillith, both fashioned from the ground into flesh by God.  Lilith was Adam's equal, but he demanded her submission to him.  In this disgust Lillith left the Garden of Eden, and as a result her story is damned into a tale of a mother of demons birthing then from copulating with demons while Adam is given a new mate by God.

In both stories there is two major themes, a tale of women's behavior, and a tale of man's need for women.  The singular theme is polarity, and how the masculine and feminine can be portrayed.

In our existence, we each contain masculine and feminine traits, we each are male and female. In the story of Genesis, firstly there is inference of more than just Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, but others like them.  There is inference that there is more than just A God when God proclaims to others equal to him at what Adam and Eve have done.  There is inference of a fall of humanity, there is a lot of overlaid gender archetypes, some skewed by prejudice of the time.

Man is not supposed to be trying to dominate, we aren't supposed to control women, they are our equals and whether we like it or not we are their equals.

This means for all the bad women do, men can do too, and vice versa, and more an old song comes to mind, I Can Do It Better Than You, No You Can't, Yes I Can, No You Can't, Yes I Can!  As a girl and guy sing along in argument.

When I read that all women are manipulators, abusers, nigh subtle oppressors, I feel the EXACT same way when I read that men are sexist oppressors.  I disagree and am hurt by such broad accusations of our brothers and sisters.  People can be manipulative, people can be abusive, people can be sexist, and anyone can oppress anyone.

It's just not fair to have one group blaming in entirety the other.  Not all men or women are any of these things, there are women who can kick your butt at a myriad of things whom could never oppress anyone, and there are men who can do almost anything a woman can do, and they'd never feel anything wrong with that.

What I've seen said here is even the most gentle man can hurt a woman and even the most thoughtful sweet woman can hurt a man.

There are bad apples, the entire lot is not bad.

I believe in the skewed masculine viewpoint that women exist to be loved and encouraged and supported, just as men should be.  I think of we equalize things, make it okay for guys to express 'girly' things like 'emotions', and for women to do 'guyly' things, like be aggressive and standoffish.

Those two things are riddled with knots of sexism in them, implying feminine is emotional and masculine is offensive, but all I intend to portray with such statements is that I, PERSONALLY, would feel less held down and judged if I could cry to someone about getting hurt and not be treated like a weak man for doing so, and that I, PERSONALLY THINK, that women would feel less judged if they could have a bad moment and not be judged as some KIND of women and not just a human being having a rough day.

THAT, is all I, a self-identifying 'Misogynist' desire.  For women to not be judged and for men to not be judged.  For being women or men.  For being born a certain way.  For society to relinquish these honestly insane preconceived ideas about each other, so we can all be equal, so that when a guy abuses a girl, he has to answer to that, AND vice versa, no leeway for sexual identity, everyone is held equally to the same standards.

And no one is suppressed from justice.

As a final statement regards my joke, may it be known in my mind I always view someone coming on to me in a gentle, albeit direct manner at the worst.  If Mr. Spacey were to just grab my butt, I PERSONALLY, wouldn't be too offended, I'd be embarrassed as f*** but hey, thanks for the compliment.
If he were abusive though, grabbed my butt and more just right there threw himself on me, I'd be a bit disgusted, but what would make it abusive to me is if he did all of that, then was forceful if I tried to stop him.

That doesn't mean I think its okay for him or anyone to nonchalantly grope a person, or throw themselves on a person, ALL IT MEANS, is that I personally would welcome an advance and would find a hard time feeling assaulted by such, but as I just said, even I have a boundary, it is admittedly broader than others.  That boundary on anyone needs to be respected.  I don't consider flirting an offense.  Unless he was inappropriate  in persistence or outright objectifying those men, I think we need to be careful what's identified as assault, as a few flattering words shouldn't be rebranded as assault.  I think saying someone has a nice butt, even right to them isn't assault, its awfully honest, but unless there's persistence like all they want to talk about is your butt, then I'd be wary to claim assault.  With persistence, I'd threaten to label such things as unwanted advances, beginning to cross a boundary, and to cease.

But that joke also makes me realize that such things as offensive humor allow us to enter into a discussion of the nuances of what is and isn't okay.

I have no idea what Kevin Spacey has actually done, so I'm ignorant of the severity of that case, I really like the actor so I'm biased to think he was being flirtatious, but for all I know, he really has made life hard for some of his coworkers and if that's so, there are consequences for such sexual behavior.

Overall I hope this post portrays me in a slightly more understandable light. Or maybe I just made myself look worse.

Either way in the afterlife we'll all laugh at this series of moments at how much we're all sucked into this illusion of differences when we're all the same...

[Coordinate_Apotheosis]

Oh, and Dante, Jade doesn't need to give her husband any attitude she's given you here, he's not degrading her.

Don't know why but that particular comment seemed extraordinarily a low blow.

[tRistAn]

101

Penis = Outward/reaching = Positive

Vagina = inward/absorbing = Negative

An easy way to remember is the first letters.

P is for positive and V is for ...... Very negative

*crying laughing emoji*

[Coordinate_Apotheosis]

I think it's fair to remember that every male is female and every female is male.

I feel like Ra was very helpful in describing the concepts underlying the labels of masculine and feminine in thoughtful ways that didn't leave much distaste for me.  There was a fine equality that melded the concepts into a well made image of One being existing various ways.

[YinYang]

As Buddha said: "this arises, that becomes". One has originated, because of the existence of the other. A female uprising has formed as a result of male subjugation, because as I mentioned earlier, nature eternally seeks balance. The Buddhists call it Pratītyasamutpāda. It's the "this" and the "that".  Commonly translated as dependent origination, or dependent arising, it's the principle that all dharmas ("things") arise in dependence upon other dharmas: "if this exists, that exists; if this ceases to exist, that also ceases to exist".

History is replete with female subjugation, I think it's fair to say that it's a common thread throughout all recorded history. The bible is one of the biggest culprits unfortunately.

So if we're going to be able to have any healthy conversation about this, we need to look at where we've been, the progress made, and where we are now. At least women are not burned at the stake anymore, and thankfully now we acknowledge that they have souls. I get the impression that some here may be a little ignorant of history. I mean, as recent as the latter half of the eighteenth century a bill was finally passed in England putting a stop to the public burning of women as a sentence for some often minor offences...

There's somewhere in the Ra material where Ra asked Carla why she never celebrates the progress that has already been achieved, and constantly worries about what still needs to be done. I think that's relevant here... Thank the heavens we're in the year 2017! Having said that, looking ahead, equal representation in positions of power is still a long way off I think, so I feel sorry for men who feel threatened by something that is worth celebrating, because an imbalance is hurting all of us, both genders... look at how peaceful our planet has always been....

Ra: I am Ra. The metaphysical and physical are inseparable.

We are seeing a metaphysical imbalance playing out on the ground, or perhaps the other way around. It's turbulent, it's opposed by many, welcomed by many, and it's always safest to say "let's see what happens". Exciting times!

*******************************

"Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything."

- George Bernard Shaw

*******************************

[Coordinate_Apotheosis]

So long as you're celebrating equality, you have my support.  I willingly support the equality of everyone, but I am wary of rebuttal or worse, that those inflicted with oppressed pain will carry it on and teach it further.  I hope you will rejoice also at how we're learning to treat women better.  I just hope in return that is reciprocated with forgiveness.  Otherwise I see the pendulum swinging beyond balance back into imbalance.

I see equality is possible, but unless we begin attempting forgiveness, the oppression might end but the pain will carry on.  We should focus on healing the pain as well as the cause of the problem.

Maybe it's too soon, but I worry a lot, about the future.  You can end a problem, but the pain it caused, that doesn't end with the problem, it becomes the most important problem to work through.  Without that healing, the Metaphysical side persists, and oppression is transformed rather than ended, it manifests anew until the lessons of love are found and learned.

It's my understanding forgiveness is the key to relinquishing karma, and that and acceptance are needed for passing the tests of catalyst.

What should one do then to heal the trauma of oppression in a time where it is coming closer to an end?  How can we prepare ourselves to help those affected heal?

[YinYang]

Of course I'm hoping for equilibrium, C_A, balance is core in the Ra material, and all mystical literature. I have no reason to hate men, C_A, I have never been sexually abused or harassed, and I have always loved intimacy with men. I must be one of the lucky ones. I have seen ruthlessness in the workplace in both sexes, and I have seen behaviour worthy of the Nobel Peace Prize (when it still meant something) in both sexes. I have said earlier in this thread that I am fairly gender blind, it is a catalyst that I have pretty much been spared in my life.

The forgiveness will come after justice has been served. In South Africa the Truth & Reconciliation Commission at the end of apartheid was vital for forgiveness. In Rwanda they have a similar reconciliation program after the genocide, where victims come face to face with the perpetrators. Imagine looking someone in the eye who slaughtered your entire family. It is noteworthy that all perpetrators were male, that's one manifestation of the imbalance I was talking about. Think about it. The difference between these proceedings and another injustice we're looking at in this thread, is that these perpetrators are admitting to their deeds, whereas all we've seen from these high profile men who are falling like dominoes is "I didn't do it" "that's not how I remember it" bla-bla-bla, no going forward, not yet.... a deadlock.

Women still can't get men to admit to the injustices that have been committed... which is why this is causing so much anger.

[Diana]

Humanity, as I see it, is not very evolved, no matter what may be conjectured here about moving into 4th density (my opinion only). There is a huge amount of unconsciousness, selfishness and self-centeredness, survival behaviors, etc. You can't make someone "wake up" consciously. That's why laws must still exist.

As an individual, I periodically get pulled into the drama here on 3D Earth, and that makes me "look out" resulting in feelings of blame, anger at injustice, sadness at suffering, etc.  At some point I remember to "focus in." What matters is where I am at consciously, because that is my responsibility. Also, what is in my path I see as an opportunity to be of service aside from the services I choose.

I personally have not found that I need anyone to admit to anything so I can forgive them. Even heinous things. To me, it's not about forgiveness (and I know I am rocking the collective boat here), it's about letting go. That is not to say most of humanity operates the way I do. Having an abusive parent admit and apologize to his/her children, does not remove the pain of what happened, though it might satisfy some feelings of injustice or revenge (which does speak to a balancing of a kind). What really matters is letting go of the attachment to it, and that must be done within self. Just as the person who apologizes must have gotten within self to the point of really understanding and feeling the impact of his/her choices, or the apology is empty or forced.

The abusive parent has a history—maybe they were abused, and their parents were abused, or unjust things happened to them. So who is there to blame? Where does one point the finger?

What if the U.S. government apologized for the massive corruption, which has impacted its citizens in more ways that can even be imagined? People in poverty not having even basic necessities while bloated politicians fill their pockets, for example. Would an apology solve anything? If there was a forced balancing, such as laws that protect against such corruption which actually worked, then the victims would at least be able to live decent lives with basic needs. But that action, though it helps, would not eliminate the desire to take, act with corruption, or the climb-to-the-top-of-the-pile-by-stepping-on-others mentality from the heart of humanity. We see this absolutely with racism. We have laws to protect against racism, but it still exists in the heart of humanity, and so it is with gender bias.

This is why it goes back to self, for me. It's two-fold: what is my reaction which I'm accountable for; and what energies am I creating and emanating out to existence.

[Coordinate_Apotheosis]

Of course I'm hoping for equilibrium, C_A, balance is core in the Ra material, and all mystical literature. I have no reason to hate men, C_A, I have never been sexually abused or harassed, and I have always loved intimacy with men. I must be one of the lucky ones. I have seen ruthlessness in the workplace in both sexes, and I have seen behaviour worthy of the Nobel Peace Prize (when it still meant something) in both sexes. I have said earlier in this thread that I am fairly gender blind, it is a catalyst that I have pretty much been spared in my life.

The forgiveness will come after justice has been served. In South Africa the Truth & Reconciliation Commission at the end of apartheid was vital for forgiveness. In Rwanda they have a similar reconciliation program after the genocide, where victims come face to face with the perpetrators. Imagine looking someone in the eye who slaughtered your entire family. It is noteworthy that all perpetrators were male, that's one manifestation of the imbalance I was talking about. Think about it. The difference between these proceedings and another injustice we're looking at in this thread, is that these perpetrators are admitting to their deeds, whereas all we've seen from these high profile men who are falling like dominoes is "I didn't do it" "that's not how I remember it" bla-bla-bla, no going forward, not yet.... a deadlock.

Women still can't get men to admit to the injustices that have been committed... which is why this is causing so much anger.

That's actually a very notable differentiation.  I think there are some men who admit it, but sadly none of us are high profile enough it'd seem.

Why are you surprised by wealthy greedy men lying about their behavior?  Bill Clinton himself lied to a court about being involved sexually with someone, it is their way of life.

Please don't judge all of us guys, many, many of us are aware if at least vaguely of the suffering women must experience at times in a still very prejudiced world.  Just please, please, when you see those men denying such things, realize as balance, many many many other men are admitting to it.

I see such in myself, hence I call myself misogynistic, I don't hate women though, but the ways society teach us all to be towards each other, but maybe calling myself androgynistic is also valid, as I'm generally more disgusted by men than women in 'typical' learned behaviors of society.

I knew a guy who would be with two different girls a week and would use them, then call them sluts and stop talking to them.  After seeing it go on 4 weeks straight I stopped talking to him.

I want nothing to do with that, it is wrong.  No matter how much he'd get drunk and cry to me about being lonely and sad with an alcoholic mother and no father, that doesn't make it okay to USE and HURT people, especially sexually, especially emotionally, most of those girls would text him asking why he would be so cruel to them, and he'd just show me and laugh even as I would look at him disturbed.

So I'm highly aware of those things, or at least enough so to have a radar on when things aren't okay.

I feel the same way about gender blindness, its just it took the Law of One for me to realize one of the things wrong in my life was labeling male and female.  I now see masculine and feminine as almost abstractions of identifiers for concepts, no man is all man, no woman is all woman, we are however all one.

So when I see sexism, or even racism, I try to think, this is catalyst to teach us something about ourselves, something about love.

I don't know what it means yet, but I'm always thinking back to those ism's, their roots, and ideas for how to end that suffering.  But you know, that stuff is in me too.  So I'm not only looking to heal others of those things, but myself too.

I would argue, everyone contains those ism's on a gradient scale, if you immediately deny it then you definitely do.  Those things are learned behaviors, and we are monkeys, we copy what we see.  Our children pick it up too.  So, to me, the first way to stop this oppression beyond awareness, is to stop teaching it to others.  However I don't mean to uneducate others, but more...

Well...  I learned racism from my father...  Ugh...  And sexism.  Had I never been exposed to the n word, I'd have never seen a black person differently, and had I never been exposed to my father calling my mother a slut, I'd have never identified any women in that way.

I think it is really important to protect against perpetuation of such energies, and I think to do that we all must teach the next generations to think differently, to be almost devoid of concepts such as judgment by color or sex, and to not make serious differentiations between ethnicity, culture, and gender, or overall, to not judge identity.

YinYang, you're still cool with me, everyone here is, I want to see you as me in another identity, so I choose to, and that is my choice.  I harbor pain from being used by women but I will not let that be an excuse to treat women badly.  I call myself misogynistic but truthfully I just want all those that hurt me to know I'll forgive them, but I want them to know they hurt me, so they'll be more conscious of it should they ever look at things with a Spiritual eye, and maybe they'll find forgiveness for themselves more deeply as such.

Eitherway, I want to move forward, we should celebrate the ends of so many terrible things, no one should be set ablaze.

I remember the first Assassins Creed.  There was a target, in I think Damascus, whom was having a trial.  A woman is sitting there tied up next to two men, the target, some wealthy guy, proclaims her unfaithful, she pleads he's just executing her for not sleeping with him.  I remember the first time he killed her in that game, I was actually shocked and disturbed by the content, almost raged, broke low profile to stop the whole thing from continuing.

If a video game portrayal effected me, the real life equivalent, I think I can assuredly say, would make me vomit in literal sickness that that can happen and did, and has and might still be.

Who decided a good punishment for anyone was killing them?  Especially slowly?

It's just so sad... Just thinking about it is making me feel sick to my stomach.

I want to focus instead towards what Diana has said.  I mean look at me, I'm basically hypocritical at this point with my outbursts.  Yet I persist.  I apologize and maybe its not as deep as I hoped it to be but my focus is on picking myself back up. And doing better.

I think Diana portrayed what I was trying to get at.  Healing pain for me is akin to letting go, sadly pain can become an old companion.  Decades of that pain compounds it, and it may become as close as family.  Letting go of that familiar pain may be painful in and of itself.

Letting go of things transforms us.  The death of suffering rebirths a person.

All I want is to fix all of these bad things.  I think a good start is myself.

[Aion]

We can talk forever about why there is a war, but it is the action of the moment which creates peace.

[Dante776]

Anxiety is the fear that one of a pair of opposites might cancel the other. Forever.

There’s no fear on my part because I know that’s never going to happen.

Dante, you said above "There has always been balance in one form or another." This is a lie as far as gender equality goes, and you know it, women have been subjugated for millennia now, which completely validates Jade's response "but I feel a duty to not allow complete falsehoods to perpetuate". You seem to be quite upset by this societal change that has been gradually happening for a very long time, these things don't happen overnight. It happens step by step, with every generation inching us closer to an equal playing field for both genders (and all races mind you).

I am very relieved at the progress that has been achieved. What is a free society? A society where everyone, regardless of race, gender or sexual orientation is allowed to achieve their highest potential. We still have a long way to go, so you might experience a lot more discomfort in future, because this wave is just starting to gain momentum. Look where patriarchy got us... a world in shambles... a world at war... a world destroyed...

YinYang, this is a matter of perspective. It depends if you are viewing this strictly through Western lenses, or universally. From the earliest times there was a division of labor on the basis of age and sex in pre-agricultural societies. It was a common practice among hunting-gathering societies to assign different tasks to men and women.

While many “primitive” human cultures were patriarchal, there were also some matriarchal societies, and the vast majority were largely egalitarian, with positions of status that provide very little privilege. No society was ruled entirely by either men or women. Certainly, both mothers and fathers have some influence in any society. Neither sex could exclude half the population (the other sex) from all power, position, or influence. Even in societies where women were not allowed to have jobs outside the home, their influence on the children, the family, and home life was bound to be considerable.

So, the social role of women varied during the Paleolithic, Neolithic, and Bronze ages. During the Iron age however, there were many powerful female rulers. In Egypt you had MerNeith, Sobekneferu, Nefertiti, Hatshepsut, Twosret, and Cleopatra VII Philopater. There was Artemisia of Caria (Persia), Cartimandua, Queen of the Brigantes, a Celtic Tribe in Northern England, Boudicca, Queen of the Iceni (East England), Cleopatra Thea of Syria, Lei-tzu (Lei Zu, Si Ling-chi) of China, Semiramis (Sammu-Ramat) of Assyria, and many others. There were many cultures that revered women and nurtured female authority. The sacred and divine feminine was a significant part of many pre-colonial societies.

It wasn’t until later in Western societies during the middle ages, particularly during the Victorian era, which was the period of Queen Victoria's reign in the United Kingdom, did women begin to be treated as second class citizens (ironically). Even then, women were often found in positions of equality by default. Sometimes a daughter would actually take over the family business and run it herself if her father became unable to, something that wouldn't really happen until much later in modern society. Women also generally ran the taverns in the Middle Ages -- in fact, women once ran England's entire beer industry. Women who became the abbess of a covenant where in a position of power very similar to a male lord.

When you look at the evolutionary trajectory of human history as a whole, there has always been balance in one form or another. So, I respectively ask you to check your facts before calling people liars when there is a plethora of information out there that supports this claim. I've included a few references below as I always do.

Ref:

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2015...scientists
http://www.worldclass.net/geo/Reilly/menwom1.htm
http://anthropology.iresearchnet.com/division-of-labor/
https://www.thoughtco.com/ancient-women-rulers-3528391

[Coordinate_Apotheosis]

We can talk forever about why there is a war, but it is the action of the moment which creates peace.

We can act forever the ways we have, but it is the talk of the act that creates change.

Edit: Looking at it again, I think we've stumbled on an interesting design by creator. Too much talk leads in circles, too much action leads to conflict.

This...3D place is totally designed, there's just no way this is all coincidence of an empty nihilistic universe.

[Dante776]

The "completely new spirit and attitude" that Alan Watts describes, is the rise of the feminine aspect - gentle, nurturing, maternal and life-giving. People give a lot away in their choice of words - "fight back" "gender war" "conquer" etc. That's the old energy that's waning. The energy where everything is seen through the lens of a contest... let's "fight back". You are trying to close the stable doors after the horse has bolted I'm afraid, and besides... "war-fight-war-fight-war-fight"... where has that gotten us thus far?

YinYang, please understand that I have no problem with women’s rights. Contrary to what some of other posters might think. I would love to see the day that all historically aggrieved groups have equality. What I have a problem with is tarnishing people’s reputation, their careers, ruining their families, and their lives all off of allegations that have not been proven. What ever happened to innocence until proven guilty?

So don’t mistake my objection to the way that these men are being summarily castigated and fired for some hidden desire to keep women oppressed. That would be antiquated thinking and I think I’m a fairly progressive person. I believe that people should be able to maintain their employment until some arbitration panel, the EEOC or the courts have concluded their findings and rendered judgment. That’s due process. And that’s what I’m concerned about. I just don’t think this is being done. Especially with allegations that are 30 and 40 years old.

Sorry if you don’t like my choice of words "fight back". But, like it or not that’s exactly what’s going on right now in this current climate. Especially in politics with scores of people now calling for President Trump to step down for decades-old allegations. And believe me, I’m no Trump supporter. I just don’t see where any of this actually helps the feminist movement.

[Aion]

We can talk forever about why there is a war, but it is the action of the moment which creates peace.

We can act forever the ways we have, but it is the talk of the act that creates change.

Edit:  Looking at it again, I think we've stumbled on an interesting design by creator.  Too much talk leads in circles, too much action leads to conflict.

This...3D place is totally designed, there's just no way this is all coincidence of an empty nihilistic universe.

Talk can be used in many ways as can actions, it is an action even. The choice of what is done with that is what influences the movement of events towards or away from conflict or peace. I think in threads such as these it's important for everyone to look at what they are seeking. I think a lot of people are looking either for personal understanding or for some kind of justice in the world. I guess it's up to each to find their peace.

[Coordinate_Apotheosis]

Well, I always seek to comprehend what is and is not valid but I am mostly seeking, or perhaps I should say, am waiting to see discussion aimed away from accusation and directed more towards finding the underlying love in these scenarios.

[YinYang]

I personally have not found that I need anyone to admit to anything so I can forgive them.

Diana I was using these examples of ways to heal wounds of entire nations (like the one being discussed in this thread - the US has now taken the no. 1 spot for highest rape stats in the world, but I caution that rape stats are unreliable or misleading, it's just an indication), not necessarily individual and unique journeys of people like us who are following this philosophy, although they can't really be separated, because a society is made up of individuals. I personally don't need someone's admittance in order to forgive them as well, although it would certainly help, but when a whole society is in pain, then these initiatives are very beneficial. Admittance goes a long way in healing entire nations, because you are publicly acknowledging and validating people's pain and grievances, essentially saying "you matter" "you are important" and "we are sorry". There is also the healing involved from just being able to talk about it. Jungian psychology, which we are practising at present in the West, is essentially talking therapy. Jung noticed that people start the healing process as soon as they are able to talk about it. These national level initiatives like the Truth and Reconciliation Commission are like mass platforms for 'talking therapy'. The book Country of My Skull explores the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in dept, from all aspects. It's a masterpiece! It is the best initiative we have on this planet to heal people and to move forward from major, large scale tragedy and injustice, but it starts with truth. Maya Angelou said "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." Brené Brown said ""If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgement. If you put the same amount of shame in the petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can't survive."

No man is an island. As Nelson Mandela said “To be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others."

What if the U.S. government apologized for the massive corruption, which has impacted its citizens in more ways that can even be imagined?

It would be extremely beneficial, healing and life-giving, due to what I said above.

[YinYang]

As someone living in a country which is often called "the rape capital of the world", I am excited to see that the #MeToo movement is gathering momentum here as well.

******************************

#MeToo : A parallel universe made visible

That so many men appear not to have noticed the parallel universe women are forced to live in every day is a testament to how much more is needed to keep this #MeToo rebellion rolling.

There appears to be, among a certain set, a sense of utter shock, surprise as well as a measure of sadness at the deluge of #MeToo posts that have gone viral on social media across the globe since actress Alyssa Milano reactivated a 10-year-old campaign after speaking out about her abuse by Hollywood sleazebag producer Harvey Weinstein. The campaign has made visible what women across the world experience daily as casual and routine, and the backlash, muted as it has been so far, has been predictable.

Perhaps there is a clinical diagnosis for it. That peculiar human affliction that results in the receiver of uncomfortable information which disrupts or unsettles a worldview or status quo, to turn this around and subvert or undermine it through inserting themselves into the narrative, rendering themselves as potential victims. It is either that, or the need to diminish the revelation as either “hysterical”, “unfair” or “a gross generalisation”.

White people do it when black people call out racism. Not content with embracing or learning from the #BlackLivesMatter campaign which attempted to excavate systemic global race and class privilege, some white people whinged and responded with #NotAllWhites or #AllLivesMatter or #Whataboutreverseracism.

This defensive and decidedly narcissistic response shuts down dialogue and is aimed at deflecting and obfuscating an issue instead of embracing a moment, a rupture, in order to strive for more clarity, greater understanding and a longing for change and healing.

Hopefully the #MeToo campaign will gain greater momentum across the world. Maybe it will be a tipping point for priapic predators like Donald Trump, Jacob Zuma, Harvey Weinstein, Bob Hewitt, Bill Cosby, Bill Clinton (there are enough famous names to fill an entire column) as well as the millions of unnamed, ordinary men who daily encroach on our freedom, our space, our very personhood and see nothing wrong with their entitled, violent behaviour.

They do not see or do not care how this diminishes our world. Or perhaps that is the unconscious collective aim of it all. To render us immobile and useless with fear.

All forms of patriarchy, deeply etched on the fabric of societies across the globe, offer men this delusion of grandeur. This is the root of the problem that entrenches this dangerous sense of entitlement over the lives and bodies of women and girls.

It took a bit of time for those men who are unaccustomed to being questioned or called out to raise their thoughts and voices about the #MeToo campaign.

The mildest of responses are captured in comments that the campaign is an “irritation” because it paints “all men as abusers” and that it is somehow the amplification on social media of the issue that has “distorted” the extent of the global scourge.

The crudest and perhaps most visceral response has been from those men who have expressed a terror at being “falsely accused of rape” – a fear that is completely unfounded judging by global statistics.

Well, for these men we offer this advice.

If that is all you have to worry about then count yourself lucky. If you wake up irritated or anxious that you might be falsely accused of rape – because, really, the system for women is so user-friendly – then suck it up. If you are not (a rapist or abuser) then you have nothing to worry about. Besides, the courts are well favoured towards men.

If you feel the need to offload that one incident when a woman passed a “sexist” comment at you or when that one predatory woman made a play for you, be grateful.

We as women, as girls, must each day step into the world and deal with perpetual and constant clear and present danger. As you can glean from the #MeToo campaign, the abuse not only emanates from the unwelcome glances, touches and whispers from men we might know or who are directly in our obit.

The fear is with us always, everywhere.

We have learnt to live with it, find ways of calming it, of training our minds to seek, when out in public, ways of fleeing the threat, ways of retaliating.

The coiled and ready fight or flight instinct for women is a daily reality.

Those of us who have not been crippled by it have have learnt to use it as a weapon. And sometimes that challenge will get us killed. You never quite know which way it will go.

Daily there is the threat of the predatory sexual advance, the threatened violence should you refuse or ignore it, the sight of the masturbator lurking near the women’s toilets, the dick rubbed up against you on the train, the whispers as we pass a man lingering in a doorway or who struts past us on a crowded sidewalk.

It is there when we want to jog by ourselves, walk home in the dark, stroll in a forest, linger on a beach at twilight, catch a train, wait for a bus or taxi, travel anywhere alone.

Daily we deal with manspread on planes, other forms of public transport, in the movie theatre or the taxi. We endure the mansplaining by men entitled beyond measure, their confidence undiminished by their mediocrity, lack of talent or modest intelligence.

It is having your comments ignored or dismissed only to have these self same ideas welcomed when a male colleague repeats it all a short while later.

If all you fear as a man is being falsely accused of rape or of being labelled or outed as predator or abuser, then this is a burden that should be easy to bear. You most certainly won't be getting up each new dawn wondering how many women today will randomly accuse you.

If you find it hard to carry this burden, ask one of us for help. We, as women, have found ways of carrying across generations burdens that are not ours.

What the #MeToo campaign has proved is that Harvey Weinstein is not an aberration, he is an example of the norm, of the status quo. He could be you.

That so many men appear not to have noticed the parallel universe women are forced to live in every day is a testament to how much more is needed to keep this #MeToo rebellion rolling.

Rapists and abusers must be named and shamed. And while many are not shamed or are so powerful they are capable of destroying the lives of the accuser – and we have Khwezi as just one example in South Africa – we hope that we have reached a global tipping point.

In 2016 the #RUReference which list named and shamed male students who had abused women at Rhodes University unleashed a ripple of terror among some.

“But what happened to innocent until proven guilty?” cried critics of the campaign instead of working to stop the epidemic of rape and femicide in South Africa.

When a group of bare-breasted women came for those predators, one of whom holed himself up in his residence, they were accused of being lawless “vigilantes”  seeking mob justice.

If you have been surprised at the extent of the posts by women speaking out and inspired by the #MeToo campaign, you are part of the problem, you are a wilfully blind bystander, you aid and abet a code of conduct – and it is a code – that threatens the existence of the lives of over half of human kind.

After this you cannot say you never knew.

Source

[Aion]

Well, I always seek to comprehend what is and is not valid but I am mostly seeking, or perhaps I should say, am waiting to see discussion aimed away from accusation and directed more towards finding the underlying love in these scenarios.

Hmm, well I think that is an attitude that leans towards peace, but I think you also understand that trauma can make love harder to grasp. Are you saying people should love their rapists? I think it's an ideal spiritual notion but in a very human way shouldn't really be expected. The thing I always try to remember when I talk with people is that I have no idea 'where they're at'. I have no idea what work they've done, what things they've been through or the things they've felt. Even if they tell me some things, I don't really know. I think that this, for me, alleviates a lot of the pressure of conversation. I found that over time I stopped wanting to know things about people mentally for the sake of content and instead I focused more on what connects people to the heart. I think a lot of talk is 'head talk' and not 'heart talk'. I always like to learn but when each part of reality is an endless well of ideas you have to choose a bit where you swim if you have any desire other than wandering forever.

However, I have found that the heart doesn't always speak from happiness, it can also speak from sorrow. I've found that a lot of people want to feel supported. It doesn't really matter exactly what you say a lot of the time, what matters for people is if you make them feel how they want to feel. Of course, no one is obligated to do that, and indeed plenty of people even take pride in turning others on their heads or trying to change how others feel - whether it be for the purpose of control and coercion or some self-perceived desire to 'help'. I think that even people that are highly mental and intellectual are still driven by feeling and will engage in 'mental pursuits' to move closer towards the state of inner existence they most desire.

So, if I then look at the idea of love. Love is a pretty difficult concept to accurately define. It is mysterious, creative and almost obsessive in its active manifestations, but laid back, refined and deep in its passive. I think that for myself I would first examine my own desires. I like to explain things, so that's what I do a lot of the time. I have a special love of trying to 'speak the words others are thinking'. I see you wish for less accusation and I feel that this is something you feel personally 'attacked' by but then seek the 'underlying love'. This suggests to me that you are very much suffering from a broken heart and a large part of your emotional turmoils surrounding your self image are projected through this broken heart.

I think a lot of people want to feel validated in their existence. That they're not 'wrong' or 'bad'. Others are convinced they are so bad that they are irredeemable and they cannot possibly be validated or that is in itself a sort of validation. Some don't even take the time to think about it, or don't need to. I personally have been through all of these probably at some point, and that is likely true for many.

What I attempt to practice through my communications and interactions is both disposition and clear projection. I understand that I project, it is inevitable, so knowing that I attempt to make my projections as genuine as possible. Geniune meaning from the heart. Disposition is to try to put myself in the perspective of another. This sometimes yields surprising results. A lot of the time I think people say words which don't really reflect their disposition. I always try to go beyond words yet remain aware that they are the vehicle of my expression on some level.

Now I've said a lot of what I think, various thoughts and ramblings, but ultimately I haven't really said a whole lot of anything. What I have done is create an emotional vehicle which is the actual communication.

[Stranger]

The crudest and perhaps most visceral response has been from those men who have expressed a terror at being “falsely accused of rape” – a fear that is completely unfounded judging by global statistics.


Well, for these men we offer this advice.

If that is all you have to worry about then count yourself lucky. If you wake up irritated or anxious that you might be falsely accused of rape – because, really, the system for women is so user-friendly – then suck it up. If you are not (a rapist or abuser) then you have nothing to worry about. Besides, the courts are well favoured towards men.
Source

Rape destroys lives. False allegations of rape destroy lives. I gathered a few personal stories from Reddit of people falsely accused of rape and included them below to illustrate that "If you are not (a rapist or abuser) then you have nothing to worry about" is factually false and dismissive of one group's legitimate concerns in favor of another group's legitimate concerns.

The only spiritual way forward is one where all pain, violence and injustice is treated as valid, important to attend to, worthy of healing.

The culture of frequent and almost casual victimization of women is truly deplorable, and I am so happy it has gained worldwide attention. But it often appears as if people/groups (like the author above) are playing a game of musical chairs where there is only one "victim slot", and if you're the victim then no one else is allowed to be one. This isn't helpful.

Throwaway for obvious reasons.
My last girlfriend accused me of rape. She actually had me convinced of it myself. It really messed with my head. She would guilt trip and threaten me with a public accusation, whenever I would refuse to do something she wanted (which included sex). After a year of that she admitted that it was all fabricated. Whenever I tried to break up with her she would try to guilt trip me again, which confused and scared me. When we finally did break up she told me that she was going to report me to the authorities. I haven't heard from her since. But I have been single, having anxiety attacks, and going to therapy since. Almost going on 4 years now

A little, I watched what one of my residents in undergrad go through that s***. He got kicked out of ROTC based on a kangaroo court system ad almost got expelled. When someone actually did the due diligence it turned out her story was absolutely bullshit and she had a history of making false accusations. It completely derailed his career and even after he was cleared his social life was demolished.

I am a woman, but wanted to pipe up. This happened to my husband when he was a teenager. Luckily he had a lot of people with him at the time, including adults. His alibi was very obvious.
Funny thing is I remember hearing those rumors from that girl at a party before I met my husband. Everyone was telling me "I know him. That is absolutely bullshit." At the time I thought it was terrible either way, wondering how I would feel if I had been raped and then told I was lying.
In hindsight, people would believe me because I'm a painfully sensible person. This girl was emotionally unstable, it was a boy who cried wolf situation. What happens when a woman like that is taken advantage of?
I also knew another girl who had sex with a guy. Accused him of rape and stuck to it for years, but later admitted it was just a bad hookup that she had sorely regretted. She was young, extremely misguided, and made a lot of very poor choices. Shitty, bad situation. She was a nice looking, quiet kid. She spread rumors, but refused to let anyone tell adults or contact the police. Unfortunately genuine rape victims will do the same thing.

LOS ANGELES – The Long Beach Unified School District won a $2.6 million default judgment against a woman whose false rape allegation in 2002 cost the school district money and landed a fellow student in jail.

Although Wanetta Gibson has not appeared in court throughout the proceedings and her whereabouts were not know, the ruling allows the school district to recoup the money through her future wages and property.

Gibson was a student at Long Beach Poly High when she first sued the district for having lax security and an unsafe environment after she accused Brian Banks, a promising football star, of rape.

Gibson later recanted the rape claim on tape, paving the way for Banks’ exoneration of the charge – however, he had already served more than five years in prison.

Abstract
One of the most controversial disputes affecting the discourse related to violence against
women is the dispute about the frequency of false allegations of sexual assault. In an effort
to add clarity to the discourse, published research on false allegations is critiqued, and the
results of a new study described. All cases (N = 136) of sexual assault reported to a major
Northeastern university over a 10-year period are analyzed to determine the percentage of
false allegations. Of the 136 cases of sexual assault reported over the 10-year period, 8 (5.9%)
are coded as false allegations. These results, taken in the context of an examination of
previous research, indicate that the prevalence of false allegations is between 2% and 10%.
Link

So 6% (more than 1 in 20) allegations met the standard to be shown as false beyond reasonable doubt - which implies that the real percentage is likely higher, as explained here.

Arch Sex Behav. 1994 Feb;23(1):81-92.
False rape allegations.
Kanin EJ1.
Author information
Abstract
With the cooperation of the police agency of a small metropolitan community, 45 consecutive, disposed, false rape allegations covering a 9 year period were studied. These false rape allegations constitute 41% the total forcible rape cases (n = 109) reported during this period. These false allegations appear to serve three major functions for the complainants: providing an alibi, seeking revenge, and obtaining sympathy and attention. False rape allegations are not the consequence of a gender-linked aberration, as frequently claimed, but reflect impulsive and desperate efforts to cope with personal and social stress situations.
Source

Notice above that 41% of rape cases were found to be false allegations.

[YinYang]

Notice above that 41% of rape cases were found to be false allegations.

I'm sorry Stranger, but this is simply not true...

The truth about false rape accusations

I'm not oblivious to the fact that these things happen, but let's not silence the voices exposing a global epidemic of unthinkable scale with something else that pales into insignificance at this stage.