(11-10-2017, 06:59 PM)Cainite Wrote:(11-10-2017, 05:10 PM)Glow Wrote: This is the saddest thing I have read in a while. I'm not sure if you saw the thread I started called "what causes a hole in the aura..." but just before that thread started I had my first negative greeting since awakening that I am conscious of. It clearly entered my body for a brief time, less than a minute but it was distinct. I'm going to guess a lot of my youth was spent tormented by things of such nature but I just thought it was a result of my childhood breaking me so never would have thought entity/energy. I had a raging case of ocd with lots of horrible thoughts... suicidal wishes, self harm, and just unbridled terror, its interesting in retrospect to see I was unaware I was perhaps being effected by outside forces.
Anyways I just wanted to post to thank you for sharing. I never would have believed it if I hadn't felt it, and I even today only 2 weeks later needed a reminder. I really need to do more for those affected.
I will continue reading, I wish you well and dominion free and clear of your own energy/body/spirit. Be well.
I feel you! when I was a child at nights I always feared demons and negative ghosts. so I couldn't sleep well.
I've said this before, before my mental illness happened, I contacted Orion entities.. asked questions, tried to dominate them, ... saw myself as a Vampire Lord who leeches life force and practices black magic. (that's where my username ''cainite'' comes from)
but then I realized my missteps and turns out it was too late and because of the short period I had switched polarity, I couldn't see myself as anything other than a monster. that was when the terrible schizo symptoms appeared.
Took me sometime to heal. the messed up version of me now is really hale comparing to those dark months.
I created another thread a few months ago ''There's a devil in my head'' was the title. that devil has been silenced for some time now.
(I just chekced, there's another thread with this name ''Seeing myself as a demon'')
Also the nightmares have been continuing. I think 5thd negatives provide them for me or sth. not quite sure about that.. I had these nightmares some years ago too. back then I couldn't handle them. now I may have become hardened.
Yeah, only one way you're going to reverse all that if you truly wish to...with a lot of focus and effort over time. However, if your desire is strong, the going can be less of an ordeal. If your desire is absolute, the going will be lighter than you can currently imagine. Doesn't mean it would be easy, just that you would relish in the difficulty that comes.
Quick edit: First post of page 7. Aw yeah.