Worry/Hope

[Coordinate_Apotheosis]

...And of course everyone else...  I feel like I'm forgetting someon--
Loostudent.

Next time I won't try to go by memory...

I didn't want to be rude and exclude anyone who participated some thankfulness.

You know, giving thanks in a personal way to others should be a tradition on Thanksgiving for families and friends.  Or at least something to do, like a Christmas present to another only of gratitude and appreciation and the love that comes with that.

[YinYang]

Coordinate Apotheosis, I hope that I was able to plants some seeds in this thread which might or might not germinate. It's like the parable of the sower I guess, and I can assure you that I definitely don't have it all figured out, far from it, it is just a possibility that I might have some hurdles behind me that lies ahead of you, who knows? You might have other hurdles behind you, that lies ahead of me... every entity's evolution is unique.

I have satisfied my curiosity about the dark side long ago, and so should you. I had a "run in"...let's call it a run in, with an 'extremely' negative entity loooong ago, I never knew such evil could exist, and I needed to understand it. So I spent a very long time reading the darkest books about 'evil'. I read an immense amount of psychology books about psychopathology, narcissism, demonic possession, the left hand path, etc. I 'did' satisfy my own curiosity, and I reached a saturation point, and when I was done, I was done. I feel I have a relatively good grasp on it, and the Ra material was instrumental in my understanding of STS as a chosen polarity. Why someone would choose it, I'll never understand, that will remain a mystery to me, but we know that some do...

You stubbornness will serve you well, I'm also very stubborn. Your fear of being attacked lies in a lack of faith, all fear has its origination in a lack of faith. Unfortunately faith is not something you can buy at your local grocery store :-) I was carjacked in Johannesburg a few years ago, with a gun against each side of my head. I was never afraid throughout the entire incident, I had this extreme calm come over me, from where?... I don't know... 'They' were afraid, I could see it in their eyes. I just felt so sorry for them, to be so desperate that they have to resort to such measures to survive... I have been a victim of crime more times than I care to remember, and every single time I was just so relaxed. Take the damn stuff, it's just stuff.

Although mind you, there was this one day when I gave a criminal a good run for his money, literally! Lol! I'm kind of wild! I had this garden boy for the day, and then he asked me to drop him off in town, so I said cool. And as we drove into this "no-go zone", I realised this is not good. So I eventually dropped him in the most dangerous part of town, and as I was standing at a traffic light speaking on my phone, someone grabbed my phone out of my hand through my car window, and I thought f*** this, not today! I switched off my car in peak hour traffic, cars in front of me and behind me, and started chasing after him. I was actually gaining on him, not exactly knowing what I would do when I 'do' reach him... what? Tackle him to the ground? Lol! Then I realised I have my dog in my car, so I turned around and started running back to my car. When I got there they smashed my car window, but my labrador puppy was still on the back seat, and I thought to myself "how could I be so STUPID!"

Life here on planet earth is certainly action-packed, to say the least... I can't really tell you where to find your inspiration, maybe a book, maybe a someone, maybe a song, maybe nature...maybe all of them combined, but in the end they all show the same way, to the One. I love it here, life is a gift!  

I don't know why I was drawn to this thread. When I made my first post I thought to myself "now why did you do that? This is gonna turn into another s*** fest again"... it's a cult...no it isn't... yes it is...lol! That's 'my' stubbornness! It turned into a surprisingly interesting exchange of ideas :-)

Maybe one day when you come to Cape Town we can walk and talk about everything from a positive perspective, and I can show you the magic of this beautiful land, this beautiful planet!

Here's a little song for you!

[Coordinate_Apotheosis]

I'm very aware of such magic.  I just wish I had someone to talk to while exploring it.

I used to go on 3am walks, through my neighborhood mostly, there's a park nearby with a big path along it's outskirts that follows to another park, about 85% of the path is covered in total darkness.  I used to be afraid of the dark, until one night I felt this urge to just go walking.  Then the next night, then the next.  I began exploring.  I discovered so much around my neighborhood, met so many cats, found so much food in the form of fruit trees and prickly pears.
Then finally I took a walk down the dark path and I was scared, but I kept telling myself I'll be okay.  I'm safe, no one would even be able to see me nevermind attack me.

After a while it was just another path, lit or not, i knew it now, i saw the light and love and magic in that dark sidewalk, saw how trees grow towards each other or the next nearest tall object.  Saw how stars don't just twinkle but sometimes look like a light show.  One night I was looking at Sirius, I swear I ran home, grabbed binoculars, ran back to the park bench I was at and just stared at it, it was flashing red and blue, it looked extremely active like there was traffic flow or something.  Then another night while walking I saw a light in the sky, it shone rather bright for a star or plane, and when I looked at it, it shrunk and vanished in place.  I stared for 10 or so minutes waiting for something to reappear.  I still don't know what I saw but I was blessed enough to see it at all.

I got robbed while working at a gas station, by knife, I recall telling the man to have a good one as he walked out.  I wasn't as calm but I wasn't terrified, more disbelieving that someone would rob an employee at knife point for cigarettes and nothing else.

It angered me afterwards but now I'm just glad I still managed to tell that jerk to have a good day.  Twas the very least I could do.

What is with people robbing other people??  Go rob a place with money, they don't care nearly half as much, they even have a budget for loss from theft.  People don't.

What a weird world.

[YinYang]

I also used to take my dog for walks late at night when I still lived in Pretoria, sometimes 11ish or 12ish at night. I also loved those walks, and I was never afraid. People sometimes passed me, and I never looked over my shoulder in case they had any agendas. The world will always reflect your perception of it back to you. I see it all the time, it is something I 'know' to be so. That's how you create.

I also smile and chat to strangers all the time, it's just for me a way to be, and it makes me happy. Yesterday I chatted to the guy who sits at the reception desk of our apartment building, and when I heard he's from Congo, he had my full attention. To me Congo conjures up horrific images, and to him, it's home, and the best place in the world. All he wants to do is go home. It's all a matter of perception. He said I should go see it, and I said "uhm......yeeeaaah....maybe one day...." He's a Hutu, so I wondered if I should bring up the Rwanda genocide, and then I did, and he laughed and said "we sort out our own quarrels!"

He's a good guy, always smiling. Last week my apartment flooded, and he ran up and helped me contain the water until the plumber arrived, and since then we're best buddies!

In the words of Oscar Wilde: "Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future." The guy who wrote "Amazing Grace" was a slave trader earlier in his life... It's indeed a weird world...

Ra: ...but who can know when an entity will open the gate to the present?

Oh yes, and I forgot to mention that the Afrikaans translation on this stone doesn't say "be still", it says "let go" ;-)