So for the greater part of my life, I have viewed my self as a gamer. A few months back I have had to reevaluate that notion. at first I was reluctant to accept that I was not emotionally supported by the whole in my gaming actives, I projected on the players and on the games.
Finally I came to accept that I should focus on other things as games felt so dis-empowering and uncomfortable. I love the idea of gaming to the degree that I started to look at life as a first person RPG as a way to cope with not feeling like playing computer games. In a way it is, as any sense of separation is in my experience; art-ificial. The grafiks are pretty sweet even if the game dynamics can be a bit tedious at times.
I find it fascinating how there can be a gap between what we think we want to do and what we feel like doing. Feelings has nothing to do with choice, but choice has everything to do with feeling. Might as well work with that dynamic of the self organizing universe as ignoring it is soooooo dis-empowering.
Finally I came to accept that I should focus on other things as games felt so dis-empowering and uncomfortable. I love the idea of gaming to the degree that I started to look at life as a first person RPG as a way to cope with not feeling like playing computer games. In a way it is, as any sense of separation is in my experience; art-ificial. The grafiks are pretty sweet even if the game dynamics can be a bit tedious at times.
I find it fascinating how there can be a gap between what we think we want to do and what we feel like doing. Feelings has nothing to do with choice, but choice has everything to do with feeling. Might as well work with that dynamic of the self organizing universe as ignoring it is soooooo dis-empowering.