Control, asking for help and healing codes

[Agua del Cielo]

I had a great experience yesterday that i would like to share with you!

The background is about control.
Many years ago i realized ( with the help of teachers who always said that to me) that actually we are connected all the time with higher realms as well as our deepest subconsciousness but its for control reason that we dont experience it.
If have worked many years on my control patterns, starting with intellectual control and finding ever deeper patterns of control.

For quite some time it wasnt my biggest issue anymore until recently.
I went on a mushroom trip in january and after the substance showed its effect, all of a sudden all my control was gone.
I could almost "see" it, actually, it was like i could see that where before control was, there was nothing left.
It was pretty scary, a lot of fear arose and after i faced it for some time, i ended up in a very old situation where i experienced the deepest pain i encountered so far.

Now, this has been more than two months ago.
But i recently realized, that my inner journeys werent as deep as they used to be anymore.
As we just had a mushroom thread and i wrote about control, i thought about it and assumed, that probably my control system was "reactivated" to a higher degree as a result of my mushroom experience.
So i tried various means to lessen the need for control for a while.

Three days ago i remembered a teacher saying to me (maybe 10 years ago) in a retreat "I dont know what you did, but it was obviously very effective. I perceive you as considerably less controlled".
I never really thought about it, because i couldnt remember doing anything special.
Now i remembered, i have been doing healing codes intensively around that time, especially in regards to control.
I figured, that could have been the reason.

So i was doing a lot of healing codes the last two days.

Last night i went on an inner journey and wanted to better understand my recent control.
For some reason i felt the need to ask for help.
I realized, that i cant dissolve my control using the part that controls. So i asked for help from "higher instances" and was ready for surrender.
I asked for help whoever arose in my mind, my higher self, babaji, krishna, jesus, then the plants in our house, then all plants, animals, planet earth, then humanity, ever expanding, and i asked my girlfriend to provide the energy that would be most helpful for me right now.

At some point i asked the whole creation for help, then all of a sudden i "realized" who is was speaking to, how unimaginably vast creation is.My consciousness expanded more and more and suddenly exploded, i was talking to creation, suddenly i experienced the whole creation.
I experienced the totality of creation from "inside".
Then it shifted and consciousness expanded even more into infinity.
I was now experiencing creation from inside and simultaneously viewing it from outside, then i experienced existence as it experiences infinite creations all simultaneously.
Then after a while i became very hungry and consciousness went back to normal.

That was a nice ride

And it showed me a few practical things:
How much i can benefit from looking into control issues
How effective it is to ask for help and surrender my little ego to a higher instance
And i was impressed at how helpful it was to do healing codes for just two days to get rid of the control that i was dealing with at this time

[kevn]

I agree 100% with everything you said, except I never did mushrooms but used to smoke quite a lot of pot.

I've had OCD for 8 years when I decided to relinquish all control (OCD is basically a very controlling state of mind). That's when I awakened: when I let go of all that control and surrendered.

Letting go of that control requires two things, in my opinion: faith and humility. But in a way, those 2 things are the same.

I'm wondering, what are healing codes exactly?

Here's a poem I thought about last night. Consider it in link with "being everything" and "relinquishing all control":


Identity

I am not Hyde
I am not Jekyll
I am Stevenson

[Agua del Cielo]

I would add trust and safety to the list

Btw, my journey last night was with shamanic drumming, no substances involved.

Here,s the link to the healing codes thread:

http://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthrea...#pid223546

[kevn]

Thanks for the link!

Trust is imho the same thing as faith.

Safety, on the other hand, is the opposite of trust. If you require safety, it's because you don't trust Picture an acrobat: with total trust, there's no net under the tightrope. The same goes for spirituality. As long as you need a safety net, it means you're not fully trusting. Being fully trusting also includes, imho, trusting that death will arrive exactly when it should. Therefore, there's no need for any kind of protection against it.

Or, an even better picture: a baby bird that never flew before. He needs to jump down the nest and trust that its wings will open and that it will be able to use them, or else, the ground (death) awaits. That's why they call it a leap of faith The expression "wing it" (improvise) also comes from there, I think

[Agua del Cielo]

i agree to a degree.

What i mean is the safety that a child would need and the trust that its being held when times get rough.
Since our controlling parts are actually parts of our inner child, the un-heal child, i think this is quite important.

edit:

an example for illustration

Lets assume a therapeutical situation.
A client comes and is holding back buried pain for example, by whatever means of control.

If you offer an athmosphere where the client can feel absolutely safe and supported, he can let go of control.
If the situation does not offer this safety, he will cling on to the control and nothing much will happen.

[kevn]

I think I'm starting to understand what you mean

I think safety comes later in the process, though.

Trust and relinquish control -> Step into the unknown -> Times get rough -> the child gets held (safety)

Bird trusts and relinquishes the nest -> bird jumps down -> ground coming fast -> wings open

Because if you put safety at the start:

Safety = not relinquishing control = not stepping into the unknown = times don't get rough = the child doesn't get held

Bird is safe in the nest = Bird stays in the nest = bird doesn't jump down = bird doesn't fall = wings don't open

At least, that's how I see it...

[Agua del Cielo]

i guess were talking bout different things!
Living a life in "safety" would be avoiding everything than could be dangerous, at the price of a very limited life and almost no growth.
I guess thats what you mean and i absolutely agree!

What i mean is, when you try to give up control so you can access hidden material in the subconsciousness, mainly old trauma.
That trauma happened when we were very young, so a part of that child "installed" control mechanisms to protect us.
No matter how much faith we have, that portion is in a way unconnected to the rest of us and doesnt have this faith. when you want to access this, you need a surrounding that convinces the controlling child that the situation is safe and supportive enough to let go of control.
Basically, the child was extremely vulnerable when it experienced this and you will be extremely vulnerable when it arises, thus zhe need for a "safe" environment.
Thats what i meant

[kevn]

If you offer an athmosphere where the client can feel absolutely safe and supported, he can let go of control.
If the situation does not offer this safety, he will cling on to the control and nothing much will happen.

Okay, I get it now! You can offer a safe environment which is going to help the client build the capacity to relinquish control and become progressively better at it. But in the end, if the client needs a specific environment to relinquish control, he is not relinquishing control fully So, a safe environment for practice can ultimately lead the client to not needing such an environment anymore... Makes sense.

[Minyatur]

I think I'm starting to understand what you mean

I think safety comes later in the process, though.

Trust and relinquish control -> Step into the unknown -> Times get rough -> the child gets held (safety)

Bird trusts and relinquishes the nest -> bird jumps down -> ground coming fast -> wings open

Because if you put safety at the start:

Safety = not relinquishing control = not stepping into the unknown = times don't get rough = the child doesn't get held

Bird is safe in the nest = Bird stays in the nest = bird doesn't jump down = bird doesn't fall = wings don't open

At least, that's how I see it...

The child needs to grow!

First step is embodying the inner child and feeling its hurtness fully as if you were living it now, to then step into knowing better and feeling better and as such to expand the hurtness into an open configuration that allows a healthy flow of one's energy which is not blocked.

[Agua del Cielo]

yes!
The child still believes it is un-safe and would immediatetely experience the same situation again and wouldnt be able to stand the pain.
In a therapy you can offer someone a healing initiation, meaning, the issue can arise, a portion is being healed and the person makes a new experience, in thatcase that its possible to stand it.

From then on there is no more need for that heavy control.

You would need that safety only for a healing initiation, from then on, the person can go on on his own, controlling in bad surroundings (but consciously) and notcontrolling in better surroundings (also consciously).

[kevn]

Thanks a lot to both of you for that discussion. Control is my main issue so this speaks volumes to me and brings new light. I'm going to need to ponder this for a while.

Long story short of my experience:

OCD starts at 23 -> Total relinquishing of control at 30 -> 3 months of bliss/ecstasy/spiritual awakening -> hospital -> reverting to control -> depression -> 4 years to understand -> now