"You create your reality"

[Mahakali]

I guess the key of this would be in asking yourself how you came to be where you are.

What was the free will that lead to your birth and surrounding rules it had to align with.

At this point, I crave spiritual development deeply, and not much else.

Maybe learning the past can help me develop spiritually, but I really want fifth-density light-alteration kinda s***, or to live on the astral plane in a lucid-dream type way with access to advanced science, mathematics, books, pornography, appealing spiritual concepts, time alteration, tesseracting, maybe a little bit of dank-ass weed... the works.

At this point, however, I could die if I don't figure out how to fix the brain thing, and unless some very high-level being makes the unlikely decision to intervene, it means figuring out how to do it myself.

Which is fine. But I really do need to figure it out, or else it's death and then Hell until the universe ends, or at least death and something else. And that would be a shitty ending to a really shitty story; I think it's far more interesting if I overcome this.

Preincarnative decisions are whatever; I think most of the negativity has been accrued in this lifetime, and I need to figure out how my mind and matter interact.

This is also a grand opportunity to make a massive leap in spiritual development, if I play my cards right.

[Aion]

The best way is to kill your self, the identity you have convinced yourself you are.

How would this help?

I mean... one level, I understand, but if I'm trying to achieve a particular effect, suicide is more likely to be counter-productive...

Breaking myself down is something I understand; I need to figure out hoe to build properly.

I'm trying to figure out where the rules are and how things work here, how exactly thought interacts with reality, and how the unity works, how to tesser and utilize thoughtforms in a powerful enough manner.

I do not mean suicide of the body, suicide of the mind, of the identity.

If your goal is building then you need order. Without order no building is possible as entropy will dissolve things before they are even made.

I will profess that I do not think black magic alone holds the answer to what you seek, but holding to it will limit you.

[Mahakali]

I do not mean suicide of the body, suicide of the mind, of the identity.

If your goal is building then you need order. Without order no building is possible as entropy will dissolve things before they are even made.

I will profess that I do not think black magic alone holds the answer to what you seek, but holding to it will limit you.

I'm confused. Ego death would imply death of the body, or at the very least, its dissolution and reconstruction, would it not?

Also, dissolution is generally the prime way I approach things, because it is the ultimate power. Order is automatic, so if you approach things through chaos an dissolution, then you can simply keep breaking down order until it hits the right configurations.

I don't know if I'm expressing what I mean very clearly, but.

At any rate, do you have any idead on what would be a good start to a practical solution? There's a lot to be factored in, here.

WWIII is in the works, a bunch of weird s*** is happening, the planet is under attack, my body is screwed up and potentially damaged, my chakras are all f***** up, and friends and family members of mine might be in trouble.

I really need to stop sitting on my ass in front of the computer, theorizing, but I need to figure out where to go from here.

[Aion]

I do not mean suicide of the body, suicide of the mind, of the identity.

If your goal is building then you need order. Without order no building is possible as entropy will dissolve things before they are even made.

I will profess that I do not think black magic alone holds the answer to what you seek, but holding to it will limit you.

I'm confused. Ego death would imply death of the body, or at the very least, its dissolution and reconstruction, would it not?

Also, dissolution is generally the prime way I approach things, because it is the ultimate power. Order is automatic, so if you approach things through chaos an dissolution, then you can simply keep breaking down order until it hits the right configurations.

I don't know if I'm expressing what I mean very clearly, but.

At any rate, do you have any idead on what would be a good start to a practical solution? There's a lot to be factored in, here.

WWIII is in the works, a bunch of weird s*** is happening, the planet is under attack, my body is screwed up and potentially damaged, my chakras are all f***** up, and friends and family members of mine might be in trouble.

I really need to stop sitting on my ass in front of the computer, theorizing, but I need to figure out where to go from here.

I do understand what you are expressing although I admit I feel you have some pretty strong biases. We all do, of course. I'm not sure I would agree that order is automatic and chaos is not, since entropy is pretty automatic. I think that is maybe a choice you have made. Personally I view them as metabolism. Anabolism and catabolism are both required to maintain a body in any state. To become balanced is to bring these processes in to dynamic equilibrium.

The body does not die due to ego death because the ego is instantly reborn anew, innocent and open. It does mean reorganization though and I do believe it can even affect physical changes. For the mind death is but a doorway to a new self.

I think everything is automatic until you choose to be consciously creative. Personally I see order and chaos as equal tools, both which are required for creation.

On a practical level I am not sure my suggestion would be appealing or even seem useful, but it would be to explore your opposite self. That is, to delve in to all that you see yourself as Not. Open yourself to everything you don't want to be and accept that as part of All that you are.

[GentleReckoning]

This is the blackest magic there is. I open my heart to all energies that enter it. I align my chakras with this energy to realize that all energies that enter my body are my teacher/for my good/for the benefit of the creator. Over time, I purify the energies that enter my body in alignment with my soul's highest calling.

After a while, life just becomes an amusement park.

[Mahakali]

I do understand what you are expressing although I admit I feel you have some pretty strong biases. We all do, of course. I'm not sure I would agree that order is automatic and chaos is not, since entropy is pretty automatic. I think that is maybe a choice you have made. Personally I view them as metabolism. Anabolism and catabolism are both required to maintain a body in any state. To become balanced is to bring these processes in to dynamic equilibrium.

The body does not die due to ego death because the ego is instantly reborn anew, innocent and open. It does mean reorganization though and I do believe it can even affect physical changes. For the mind death is but a doorway to a new self.

I think everything is automatic until you choose to be consciously creative. Personally I see order and chaos as equal tools, both which are required for creation.

On a practical level I am not sure my suggestion would be appealing or even seem useful, but it would be to explore your opposite self. That is, to delve in to all that you see yourself as Not. Open yourself to everything you don't want to be and accept that as part of All that you are.

Of course, both are automatic. But if you control one, you control the other.

Is the body not a product of the ego, anyway? So if you really destroy the ego, doesn't that imply the destruction and rebirth of the physical body, as well?

Otherwise, it's just mind-wiping/brainwashing, which IMO is not anything near the same as ego death; ego death meaning being completely one with the all without bias towards or against any particular direction.

>Open yourself to everything you don't want to be

That's pretty broad. There's a lot of things I don't want to be.

I don't want to be a heroin addict.

I don't want to be a child molester.

I don't want to be a Mormon.

I don't want to be a fan of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

I don't have anything against any of those things, from one angle, because, yes, all is connected to me, but I also don't see the benefit of exploring these distortions.

So, no, that doesn't seem particularly useful, unless I completely misunderstood.

I don't just want any random new self. I want to improve myself. And perhaps ego death could be controlled, but I've learned my lesson about accepting ego death advice from random strangers OTI (no offense).

I really need to know how to heal my body and figure out how to manipulate physical matter with my mind to a much finer degree in order to be able to survive, or at least teleport away from, problems that I may have.

Seems like the next few years in the world might be turbulent, and the odds are frankly stacked against my survival in some possibilities.

I can survive, however, and I need to find the way to do that.

[Mahakali]

This is the blackest magic there is. I open my heart to all energies that enter it. I align my chakras with this energy to realize that all energies that enter my body are my teacher/for my good/for the benefit of the creator. Over time, I purify the energies that enter my body in alignment with my soul's highest calling.

After a while, life just becomes an amusement park.

Yes, that's black magick, all right, but you want to be the one putting energies in others, not sucking them down yourself.

Good luck with that.

Maybe this forum is not such a safe place after all.

[GentleReckoning]

Nope. The blackest heart transmutes all energies into positive lessons. It actually ends up like a super dark emerald. Because as long as you rely on others for love, you allow them to create you. Anything less closes down the throat and heart chakras leading to service to self. For the heart that can take in any energy can go into any environment, and stay fully activated and connected to the crown, leading to soul progress for all involved.

If people want me to leave, I will leave. Shall I post a poll?

[Aion]

I do understand what you are expressing although I admit I feel you have some pretty strong biases. We all do, of course. I'm not sure I would agree that order is automatic and chaos is not, since entropy is pretty automatic. I think that is maybe a choice you have made. Personally I view them as metabolism. Anabolism and catabolism are both required to maintain a body in any state. To become balanced is to bring these processes in to dynamic equilibrium.

The body does not die due to ego death because the ego is instantly reborn anew, innocent and open. It does mean reorganization though and I do believe it can even affect physical changes. For the mind death is but a doorway to a new self.

I think everything is automatic until you choose to be consciously creative. Personally I see order and chaos as equal tools, both which are required for creation.

On a practical level I am not sure my suggestion would be appealing or even seem useful, but it would be to explore your opposite self. That is, to delve in to all that you see yourself as Not. Open yourself to everything you don't want to be and accept that as part of All that you are.

Of course, both are automatic. But if you control one, you control the other.

Is the body not a product of the ego, anyway? So if you really destroy the ego, doesn't that imply the destruction and rebirth of the physical body, as well?

Otherwise, it's just mind-wiping/brainwashing, which IMO is not anything near the same as ego death; ego death meaning being completely one with the all without bias towards or against any particular direction.

>Open yourself to everything you don't want to be

That's pretty broad. There's a lot of things I don't want to be.

I don't want to be a heroin addict.

I don't want to be a child molester.

I don't want to be a Mormon.

I don't want to be a fan of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

I don't have anything against any of those things, from one angle, because, yes, all is connected to me, but I also don't see the benefit of exploring these distortions.

So, no, that doesn't seem particularly useful, unless I completely misunderstood.

I don't just want any random new self. I want to improve myself. And perhaps ego death could be controlled, but I've learned my lesson about accepting ego death advice from random strangers OTI (no offense).

I really need to know how to heal my body and figure out how to manipulate physical matter with my mind to a much finer degree in order to be able to survive, or at least teleport away from, problems that I may have.

Seems like the next few years in the world might be turbulent, and the odds are frankly stacked against my survival in some possibilities.

I can survive, however, and I need to find the way to do that.

Perhaps we simply have different ideas of what the ego is, which is true for a lot of discussion on the ego or if it is even 'a thing'. Truth be told, I don't think it even really exists, it's just another categorization. So, no, I do not believe the body is a creation of the ego, quite the contrary, the ego is a result of the mind interacting with the body, in my opinion. It is a ghost of all the processes of the mind appearing in the body. Like a reflection on the surface of water.

Perhaps we conceptualize death different. By 'new', I mean empty. Not 'random' or just anything, but empty. I see no end in death but there is release and transformation. Maybe empty seems like an end, but it is also a beginning.

All the ways in which you define yourself as a dualistic human being with set and concrete likes and dislikes act as degrees of separation between body, mind and spirit, for these create the contrast of differences, light, shadow and form. There become expectations of the form of the self and therefore limits.

Matter is unified. Energy is unified. Matter and Energy are unified. Energy is locked up in your decisions. Decisions about your identity, about yourself, about your reality. All of these thoughts and decisions take up energy to process all of the many layers. Free your choice, and you free up energy, and as you free up energy, you free up matter.

Choice is the juxtaposition between Chaos and Order. In every choice both exist. From order is chaos and from chaos is order. Yet together, unified, they are one choice which has already been made.

Stop getting in your own way. You already know what to do, you already know the path you seek. You already see it before you. Stop listening to me and it's right there.

Don't you see yet that I am a distraction? See the reflection of your goodness and foolishness in the Owl Glass. Much love, my friend.

[Aion]

Nope. The blackest heart transmutes all energies into positive lessons. It actually ends up like a super dark emerald. Because as long as you rely on others for love, you allow them to create you. Anything less closes down the throat and heart chakras leading to service to self. For the heart that can take in any energy can go into any environment, and stay fully activated and connected to the crown, leading to soul progress for all involved.

If people want me to leave, I will leave. Shall I post a poll?

Aha You crack me up bud, hope you're doing well.

[GentleReckoning]

Nope. The blackest heart transmutes all energies into positive lessons. It actually ends up like a super dark emerald. Because as long as you rely on others for love, you allow them to create you. Anything less closes down the throat and heart chakras leading to service to self. For the heart that can take in any energy can go into any environment, and stay fully activated and connected to the crown, leading to soul progress for all involved.

If people want me to leave, I will leave. Shall I post a poll?

Aha You crack me up bud, hope you're doing well.

We're up to laughter, which if I don't miss my guess is right below love. Considering I moved this energy up from depression and apathy over the course of a couple years, yeah, I'll be just fine.

[Aion]

Nope. The blackest heart transmutes all energies into positive lessons. It actually ends up like a super dark emerald. Because as long as you rely on others for love, you allow them to create you. Anything less closes down the throat and heart chakras leading to service to self. For the heart that can take in any energy can go into any environment, and stay fully activated and connected to the crown, leading to soul progress for all involved.

If people want me to leave, I will leave. Shall I post a poll?

Aha You crack me up bud, hope you're doing well.

We're up to laughter, which if I don't miss my guess is right below love. Considering I moved this energy up from depression and apathy over the course of a couple years, yeah, I'll be just fine.

Laughter is the sound of the Love Train chugging through aha I am glad to see you are taking yourself much more lightly.

[Aion]

This is the blackest magic there is. I open my heart to all energies that enter it. I align my chakras with this energy to realize that all energies that enter my body are my teacher/for my good/for the benefit of the creator. Over time, I purify the energies that enter my body in alignment with my soul's highest calling.

After a while, life just becomes an amusement park.

Yes, that's black magick, all right, but you want to be the one putting energies in others, not sucking them down yourself.

Good luck with that.

Maybe this forum is not such a safe place after all.

Isn't this the black magicians anonymous forum? Am I in the right place? Hmm... :-/

[GentleReckoning]

Holy s*** Tanner. Good to see you man.

Black is white is grey is white black? I get so confused...

[Aion]

Holy s*** Tanner. Good to see you man.

Black is white is grey is white black? I get so confused...

Was my disguise that good? Aha I am glad you are well. Add all the colours and get white. Subtract them all and get black. What is grey but the black and white inherent in the colours? A colour is not itself but is another form of differentiation of the not self.

[Aion]

The link between consciousness and matter is breath. You have to breathe your will in to your dreams and coagulate them out of the infinite aethers of endless possibilities. Breath links the brain to the heart and focus brings the brain in to full activity generated by the will. First attempt to feel all the matter in your own body and the inherent forces which organize it's make-up. Feel, that is, imo, more central to the intentions than pure mental conceptualization since it involves the receptivity of the will.

[Jade]

Mahakali, have you read the Ra material? A lot of the questions and answers you seek are in there.

To contact intelligent infinity, you either must go red-orange-yellow-green-blue-indigo, or, red-orange-yellow----indigo. I think it's very important to understand the chakras if you are consciously attempting to contact intelligent infinity. Otherwise, you can become "damaged" as you say, and as Ra said about Crowley, "overstimulated with the true nature of things". This work is intended to be slow and laborious.

Once you access intelligent infinity, being able to "hold it there" so you can do intense reality manipulation takes time, practice, and work. Will and faith.

Third density is about work, and polarity. It's about accessing these things you desire through the veil and our third density body complexes - not an easy task. You have to choose whether or not you are going to go through the heart or deny love and wisdom as such. Ra claims both paths have the same level of difficulty, though our Logos is "biased towards kindness". I believe the STO path takes more bravery - the heart of the STS path often begins in fear, and a blockage in the root chakra. STO requires an utmost and openhearted trust in all of Creation - which is why it's so difficult to make that "leap of faith". It requires acceptance of all of our experiences. If you start from a base where you are, where you have been attacked and are succumbing to the wishes of others, you are beginning from a place of distortion. I suggest you begin owning the power of your own will.

Here's a tip on how we create our reality, per Ra's Law of Squares. Each time we think, "I'm at the mercy of this negative thought/entity/situation", we reinforce that situation. Each time we access that thought pathway, we double its strength. So, when we realize we want to take our power back, we have a huge deficit to overcome - we must undo each "I'm at the mercy of others" thought with "I am a sovereign being of my own will" thought. It is a slow process when we have huge momentum one way, and must stop the train to begin its trek the other way. But it's entirely possible and probably what you desire more than to just ride the train you're on as a passenger.

[Kaaron]

Hi Mahakali, I'm just gonna go out on a limb here.
Four months ago, I started in a position that quickly "went south", after I realized the guy was consulting with 4th/5th density negative entities.
He told me that he has entities on his shoulders that he consults and they consult their "bosses".
I spent 4 months dealing with lies and behavior that made it hard to find perspective and forgiveness. He'd even stop me going for lunch using lies, then reprimand me in front of the CEO for leaving early, to try to get me to leave a job I was voluntarily doing. A job that I see as my means of helping everyone through, gifted by the all, so I tried to forgive, forgive and forgive some more.
I wrote a letter to the CEO, explaining my situation but they basically sidestepped the issue.
I couldn't leave as I knew I was supposed to be achieving a mission but staying was stressful as f***.
When I finally got to sit down with him and the CEO (as well as other members of management who weren't privy to the letter as the corruption is widespread), not only did I get told that I would have to still report to him, none of his bad behavior got addressed by anyone until I had to bring it up out of pure disbelief at the obviously intentional oversight.
Then the dude sat there and told me I was hard to work with and wrote a letter requesting the dissolution of my contract.
I spent three weeks writing and rewriting a new letter. One in which I would reveal the true extent of his lies. A letter that would ruin him, when sent to the board members.
The more I sat there though, thinking about balance and what would be the best course of action to get justice, the more I realized I don't have a fucking clue about exactly that would be. How do I know what the all has in store for him, or me? Is my need to control the situation, creating the very conditions I'm seeking to avoid?
So I stopped. I realized he's going through a spiritual problem and if we're all one, maybe I should let go n forgive him. I have had - and continue to have -attacks day in and day out...who am I to judge because I can identify the source of the problem?
On Friday last week, I decided to stop trying to make reality bend to my will. I started to believe that the most powerful manifestational power, comes from realizing that the All wants the same thing we REALLY want, we just don't know it yet...the truth is that anything less, is merely another attempt at trying to do what takes no doing, when given the context of faster reconstruction of self as one.
On Monday, the CEO asked me to put together some quotes for a new studio that I'll be running as my own portfolio. It will be situated in a place where I have no contact with the person in question and we've just been approved funding for courses to help youth through music programs.

My suggestion is to try to see that all illusion of separation dissolves, when you stop placing expectations on outcomes that are based on misconceptions, themselves.
Its like the more you think you know, the less you're allowing through from the part of you that REALLY knows.

[Aion]

On the topic of healing, I would offer this page at least in the context of the forum, there are some useful thoughts there I feel.

http://www.lawofone.info/results.php?c=Healing

[Minyatur]

At this point, I crave spiritual development deeply, and not much else.

Maybe learning the past can help me develop spiritually, but I really want fifth-density light-alteration kinda s***, or to live on the astral plane in a lucid-dream type way with access to advanced science, mathematics, books, pornography, appealing spiritual concepts, time alteration, tesseracting, maybe a little bit of dank-ass weed... the works.

You literally do what you want every night most likely, but this is not truly what you seek because when it ends you come back to this place and your spirit re-aligns with your body and you become again the mind of this life with a slightly different ego because there is an higher aspect of yourself that does desire to experience this and makes the choice of coming back to this time and space again. I think you can like get out, grow a whole lot in experiences but this window will remain and you will come back to it.

Also understand that if you want to reach a higher degrees of consciousness, you gotta align yourself with them. This is where ego resistance comes into play. The core of yourself is spirit, your mind is the mirror of your spirit and your body is a creature of this mirror. The ego is a formless construct created from the patterns of the root of the mind. To have 5th density awareness you require to align your mind with your spirit at that vibration and if your ego is driven by lower rays distortions, this obviously does get in the way.
This is where ego death comes into play, ego death can really just be letting go of your resistance to change and instead allow yourself to align with your own spirit when you are provided with a window of opportunity. I think people call those initiations.

At this point, however, I could die if I don't figure out how to fix the brain thing, and unless some very high-level being makes the unlikely decision to intervene, it means figuring out how to do it myself.

I guess there are more things willing to help you than there are who desire to work "against" you. Sometimes you gotta learn to say yes when you are offered, and ask if you really feel a need for help.
Even if you don't get instant results, just saying "yes" can allow some to work with you over time each time you give them windows they can use.

Which is fine. But I really do need to figure it out, or else it's death and then Hell until the universe ends, or at least death and something else. And that would be a shitty ending to a really shitty story; I think it's far more interesting if I overcome this.

Why would you want Hell until the universe ends? I think you'd get bored with that kind of game long before then, everyone does.

Preincarnative decisions are whatever; I think most of the negativity has been accrued in this lifetime, and I need to figure out how my mind and matter interact.

I do think the core of Creation lies in the seeking of yourself and even more so with a veil on your mind. What do you hope to achieve when you know nothing about yourself?

So they may be whatever but they do teach about yourself, what lies at the core of your being.

This is also a grand opportunity to make a massive leap in spiritual development, if I play my cards right.

What is spiritual development? From a simplistic truth standpoint?

[Mahakali]

I suggest you begin owning the power of your own will.

This much is true.

Yes, as I've said before, the chakras are important, but only in one system of working.

I've left my physical body before, so, clearly, energy exists outside of the chakra system.

stuff

And why the hell would you not send the letter? This, I genuinely don't understand.

There are few things more beautiful than revenge.

Then again, I also don't understand working in a corporate environment, and even if I did, I'd catch the bastard on the way to his car and give him something to think about for the rest of his life.

Nobody but old white people who are no threat to anybody is afraid of you writing letters.

Reminds me of this Mexican gangster who mentored me a few years back and taught me about such things. Most people in American society, even the occultists and the military people, are total creampuffs deep down.

Most of them think just like you: "Well, this is no big deal. I'll just let it go. It's not worth it."

I know American millionaires who "forgave" their fortunes being stolen from them.

That's how Americans think. Cowards. If you really wanted to win, you needed to do something to him that would make everyone else adopt the forgiveness attitude with you, so that he would have walked away and found easier prey once he realized that you weren't fucking around.

American psychopaths are used to people not standing up to them, because most people here truly are weak.

They are used to people relying upon others and in the system. They're used to using their system to get everything done for them, because they have no power of their own. What if you don't have a job, or a regular circle of contacts, or a steady address, or even a state ID? What if you really are ready to give up comfort, normality, and fitting in just to be more or less away from their grid?

It's a lesson I've learned and am still learning. Even people who think they're big and bad get genuinely shocked when they figure out that you're willing to go to any lengths, and often won't believe it, so you have to follow through. You have to be willing to devote the rest of your life to it, and beyond, if necessary.

People have to know that messing with you means messing up their own goals and aspirations, that there are consequences for taking your meal, and that there is no time limit for their retribution, and I think that even more or less goes for positive densities in extreme situations.

Song related: http://vocaroo.com/i/s0RIaLxL1bAX

Will respond to more later.

[Aion]

Ah good ol' grudgery. It is certainly true that choosing fight over flight in the face of desperation yields a large amount of willpower and there is a certain power in the willingness to push yourself upon others, as you well know from your experience.

[Jade]

I suggest you begin owning the power of your own will.

This much is true.

Yes, as I've said before, the chakras are important, but only in one system of working.

I've left my physical body before, so, clearly, energy exists outside of the chakra system.

I don't think of chakras as of the physical body. In fact, our physical body is merely a yellow ray manifestation. The astral body is a green-ray manifestation.

[Kaaron]

Why not send the letter?
Why not just attack him on his way to his car?
I'm glad you asked for elaboration.
It was a process of first, letting go of the initial feelings of wanting to treat him as I would have treated anyone, 5 years ago. A time when I was a member of one of the most notorious gangs in the city of Wellington, NZ. Probably similar feelings to what you described when relaying the "on the way to his car" senario. After actually being in that moment of knowing I was about to cave someone's head in with a pole, to pay them back for soliciting my clientelle, I saw the whole "revenge" concept a little differently.
I didn't feel like "this niggaz gon get it..."
I felt like "I hope I don't go to jail n never see my kids again" and "how did I end up in this position? Having to destroy this guys life over drug money and a block my team runs"
That's the difference between in the moment rage, acting on impulse...and sitting there for 2 hours waiting for the dude to come home.
So after weighing that s*** up, realizing that I've done more than enough experimenting in that field of catalyst...I decided to go with a letter as a better first option...feel me yo?

After coming to the conclusion that writing a letter would maybe get me the justice I felt I deserved, I went about writing a 13 page breakdown of my 4 months in my role. I broke down how he treated me in a way that everyone that read it, would have no option but to fire him, or face legal action as the discrepencies were gross misconduct. So I'd say, it's not so much that I was trying to scare him, or make him afraid...more just make it so that he could never work again in our industry (commercial radio/music industry), I make beats and my partner is an MC. It's a studio that I work in as a sound engineer.
It was at some point that I realized that I was writing a letter to make him pay for his intentional disrespect. It's not something I'm used to forgiving in a look, let alone 4 months from my manager. I was also writing from the perspective of someone who has already voiced their concerns over an issue in a letter, which seemed to be kept strictly in the CEO's breast pocket lol. I realized that he doesn't want to lose the contract and he's already under scrutiny.
All of this is irrelevant though, given the context of us all being one.
If all is one, it's not my job to judge and dish out justice. That job belongs to his own distortions that hide his demons. If he doesn't want to look at what's causing him to act like that, I can't make him look at the issue. The universe will slap him in the face continually, until he looks. I can hint...or let him know how that choice in behavior is effecting me...but ultimately, it's up to him how he feels about how his choices effect his life. It's not going to make me feel better hurting him, that would just be him being hurt and then probably wanting to either get me, or me having to deal with the feelings associated with being someone who would attack rather than love or forgive. That action just gives every being in the universe the right, when applying the distortion of free will, to treat me in the same way. I'm not keen on being the puppet of a 4D/5D tag team...so I try to keep my emotions in a higher energy space. They feed off the pheremones of anger and fear...so why would you want to feed the lower space dwellers. Getting him fired would have the same effect because he'll feel bad (his kid and wife would be effected) and then it's more healing for other parts of me that are effected by the fallout... It's a dicotomy of sorts but I resolve it by seeing it as "if he doesn't like me forgiving him and not wanting him to have demons, he can leave as this is our mutual space."
I feel like the answer lies in finding that option, which is best for myself AND the other person AS WELL as the entire universe.
In this equation...there is only one answer. When you find it...you have your higher self perspective.

I also believe that you end up getting back what you put out.

The fact that I didn't react in a vengeful manner, resulted in the energy being used by my higher self to create this job, in this space, in this now. Something that I really doubt would've happened, had I stabbed him on the way to his car.
I know there was other stuff in your post about hanging with mexican g'z n s***, but to be honest...(I hope you don't take this the wrong way) I don't care about what you've learned second hand.
Tell me the deepest, darkest fear about what you feel people dislike about you...then talk to me about gangsta...nigga.

[Kaaron]

I apologize, in advance, if I offend anyone with the use of the word "nigga".
My gang affiliation was "Black Power". A group that rose out of a need to defend the native Maori population of Wellington, from the Mongrel Mob. Back then, in the late 60's, the black panthers were a similar type of organization, who our founders modeled themselves after.
The Mob call us "niggers"...for obvious reasons.
We call each other "my nigga" or "nigga" and that "nigga" is anyone...he or she could be white...as could "my nigga".
Hope this clears things up a bit.

[Mahakali]

I can't believe I'm actually writing a trigger warning, but this post contains brief descriptions of intense violence and STS activity. The content is relevant to the discussion, and intended to improve the knowledge base of such activities, but it's not recommended for those with a weak stomach or who are easily triggered.

You may read by pressing CTRL+A on your keyboard, or by manually highlighting the invisible text below.

To be clear, I don't consider myself a gangster. I've been called that by other people. the only "set" I was in was a little Juggalo drug crew called the Twiztid Murderous Clownz. You've never heard of us, because we didn't do anything other than take/sell drugs and go to concerts.

The only people we didn't like were Surenos and certain Crips. Sur-13's murdered this friend of mine who just joined some Bloods set. Threw him in front of a train and got away with it. I was personally cool with some of the south siders in question, but it really messed up a friend of mine, who was involuntarily beaten into a Nortena girl gang, but still considered herself a Juggalette and hung out with our crew.

The Crips was just a thing because a couple people in our set had ties to the Bloods, who are almost always at war with the Crips. But it was complicated, because there were also JuggaLOCs around, plus childhood friends and s***, so certain ones were good. I'm still okay with some Crips; others, not so much. Some Crips are legitimately crazy, but a lot of them are just typical street gangs, too.

I was briefly an associate of Northside Mafia, mentored by a guy with very deep and direct connections to the Sinaloa Cartel; very high-ranking member in his family, many of whom had been murdered by the Zetas. I was not a member, just someone who worked for them. Sell drugs, tag walls, run around playing with guns, intimidate people, and some other stuff. Full associate, took pictures of my face and my family and my house, supplied me with whatever I needed.

His gangster mentality was not like yours. He would be coked-out, driving around my neighborhood with a gun one day, and happily smoking weed with me the next.

Your gang was for a positive motive, even if it was negative in practice. The Mexicans I knew are extremely nihilistic by comparison. they'd kill you for stealing an iPod, like some kind of f*****-up reverse Mitchel Henderson, or for mouthing off to them, and they'd get away with it, too.

And I quote: "You know why Obama never goes to Mexico? It's because we'd catch his ass and hold him for ransom, and once we got it, we'd just kill him anyways. Hahahahahahahah."

DEA calling and trying to get him to snitch on his set. Raided his house. Homie from MS told me that he's in state pen, but I saw him about a year ago, and he tried to kill me for no real reason. lol Mexicans

They are not like most American street gangs. They have training camps, military guys, government-level technology, and extreme nihilism.

I didn't bond with those people for the gangster s***, I bonded with them for the insanity. Like attracts like. Those people are fucking mental. They do not give two shits and a f*** about your life, their own life, or anyone else's.

I knew a guy homie from MS-13 who would work with me one day, try to get me alone in his house and kill me the next. He said I was like an older brother to him in high school, but he's not exactly the same person anymore.

I won't even talk about the Russians. Those people are just fun. Not any more sane than the Mexicans.

I pissed off some Crips about a year ago, and they took an old homie of mine (Sur-13 - I usually don't like them, but I knew this guy long before he joined) and raped him, posting the pictures of his bloody anus on Facebook with his phone along with a message that he now has AIDS, just to f*** with me.

Also got my ass kicked HARD by Combat 18 and the Crips because I stabbed gang leaders in both for talking s***.

There is blood on my hands. Say what you want, but I know death, horror, and tragedy. Good friends of mine, they are.

I've been around the block a little. But I don't talk "gangsta", I just talk "insane". I don't resonate with the former, I do for the latter.

You would wait outside of somebody's house for two hours for drug money. I'd wait years, and not for any reason other than the fact that there is hatred in my heart. There's the difference.

I'm not a gangster, but you don't want to pick a fight with me. Fear is nothing but a ghost at this point. I just crossed the threshold of transcending it...

Please don't take that the wrong way... I'm not saying my viewpoint is more valid than yours, or ripping on you for anything.

I am trying to improve myself as a person. I just want to be free and create. There's still more negative energy attached to me than I know what to do with, but it's all good.

At this point, fear is fluid, substanceless, almost Choronzonic. It seems attached to certain things, but disappears when I get close. When a Blood in the car I'm driving in announces his intent to harm me, out comes the knife. I'm only afraid in theory, not in practice.

If I feel like a b****, it's because fear is a fluid substance which reflects itself in all areas of my life, due to my spiritual affliction, but it dissolves when I touch it. I'm really not afraid; I just have to change my perspective and remove this distortion.

Do I think that you get out what you put in? Sometimes. But I think it's a lot more complicated than that. I don't think karma is a reward and punishment system. I do think that there might be something to what you say, though; it's easier to reach desirable states of being by sending that out, but there are also other patterns in the ether.

[Aion]

It seems somewhat to me like your heart and mind are saying different things?

[Turtle]

Also, dissolution is generally the prime way I approach things, because it is the ultimate power. Order is automatic, so if you approach things through chaos an dissolution, then you can simply keep breaking down order until it hits the right configurations.

Yeaaaah, no. It's not the ultimate anything, lol.
Black Magic and White Magic are equally powerful, just serve different purposes.

[Turtle]

I think everything is automatic until you choose to be consciously creative. Personally I see order and chaos as equal tools, both which are required for creation.On a practical level I am not sure my suggestion would be appealing or even seem useful, but it would be to explore your opposite self. That is, to delve in to all that you see yourself as Not. Open yourself to everything you don't want to be and accept that as part of All that you are.

I think that's a great suggestion, and one of the most practical thoughts one can grok if they feel stuck on their unique path in life

[Minyatur]

Also, dissolution is generally the prime way I approach things, because it is the ultimate power. Order is automatic, so if you approach things through chaos an dissolution, then you can simply keep breaking down order until it hits the right configurations.

Yeaaaah, no. It's not the ultimate anything, lol.
Black Magic and White Magic are equally powerful, just serve different purposes.

I guess order also only seems automatic so long you dissociate with the facets of the All which manifest this order through their will.

Chaos of itself is just a state of order just like order is a state of chaos. Remove any of the two and you're left with nothing.

I am a partaker of the everlasting Chaos yet I also am an heir of the Order I exist within.