Catalyst when you least expect it - story of life

[Chandlersdad]

My life partner has been noticing my interest in the Ra Law of One materials. I have worn out a printer by printing most of the information on the L/L Research Center website and putting it into binders for study (since I can't take reading online for very long).

Finally my partner said he was interested in what I was doing. He listened politely as I gave him a very brief summary. Decades ago he was interested (as I was) with the Seth material. But that was long ago. I knew I had to talk fast before his mind wandered off. (I say this not in judgment but just as an observation after sharing 40 years with him).

I thought perhaps a good introduction would be an early interview Carla held, where the transcript is available for download. So I created a little briefing binder for my partner. The interview only comes to 14 pages.

He came in to say goodnight and see what I was doing. For some reason, he is annoyed when I print a lot, since it costs money to buy printer cartridges. I said that if he had an interest in what I was doing, this interview might help. Then I then gave him the little binder.

CATALYST: He took the binder, turned the pages without reading, then handed it back to me. I said "Is that it? You're done?"  "Yeah" he said as he walked away to watch COPS on TV.

BOING! Right in the old keester. My immediate thought was "If he had prepared something for me, I certainly would have given it a chance OR at least feigned interest because that is what a good little STO person would do".

Then I escalated the feeling of being misunderstood until it seemed quite silly. I visualized myself tied to a railroad tracks as Dudley Dooright rode away without giving me a second glance!

Then I discovered sadness, since my life partner and I don't share many interests. We love each other but have little in common anymore except for our mutual love for our golden retriever. I followed this thought until I was (in my mind) crying while peeling onions in Dante's Inferno.

Then the ghost of mum said to me "Such is Life", which was her way of summing up the varying degrees of catalyst that trip us as we attempt to float through life with a New Age Mona Lisa smile.

Did I solve my problems like a READERS DIGEST inspirational short story? No.  

But the emotional charge has dissipated.

When someone is not interested in what we are doing, perhaps that is a message to love yourself more, gird your loins, and realize that there is no need to publicize your spiritual path. While the fruits of the spirit may be public on the Service to Others path, the spiritual study itself may be a one man/woman job. Oh, dear.....why am I suddenly hearing an old Three Dog Night song...."One is the loneliest number....".   Yeah, in 3 D one can be lonely. But when you are ONE with the entire universe (quite a challenge at times), it just doesn't matter.

Meanwhile, from the family room I hear the TV sounds of murder and mayhem on the COPS TV show. Evidently, The Ra LOO cannot compete. Sigh. Such is life.  


UPDATE ONE DAY LATER:  I explained to my partner that I was hurt that he rejected my offered "gift" so brusquely. He agreed to read the transcript after I handcuffed him to the bedpost. He was already in that position so I just took advantage of it.

[Billy]

I just had a real moment of affection for you Chandlersdad, after reading your post.  Your openness is admirable and I aspire for the same.  Thanks for sharing.  What insight dissipated the emotional charge for you?  I've often felt hurt in the past when I thought that people didn't understand me.  A perspective that I have been working with is that 'I don't have the right to expect other people to understand me, I mean how often do I understand others?  How many times have I hurt others by not showing them the understanding that they wanted me to show?  It is unreasonable to expect people to always understand you and is a recipe for resentment and sadness.  The best thing we can do is understand ourselves and realize that what we desire is within us.'  

[AnthroHeart]

what we desire is within us.

That touched me deeply. I have some profound desires, that really make me who I am.

[ada]

his higher self must be like "omg man, so close."
thank you for sharing.

[Chandlersdad]

I just had a real moment of affection for you Chandlersdad, after reading your post.  Your openness is admirable and I aspire for the same.  Thanks for sharing.  What insight dissipated the emotional charge for you?  I've often felt hurt in the past when I thought that people didn't understand me.  A perspective that I have been working with is that 'I don't have the right to expect other people to understand me, I mean how often do I understand others?  How many times have I hurt others by not showing them the understanding that they wanted me to show?  It is unreasonable to expect people to always understand you and is a recipe for resentment and sadness.  The best thing we can do is understand ourselves and realize that what we desire is within us.'  

You seem to have a firm grasp of the truth by empathizing with others, which allows you to see how treating others this way and being treated that way is just one of the delightful quirky aspects of the 3rd Density humanhood.

I didn't have an insight so much as intensify the emotion caused by the catalyst. I got this from the Ra Law of One. For me, this often leads to 2 results (we are each unique):

1. The emotion intensifies so much that my comical mind begins to parody the emotion by visualizing myself in some melo-dramatic demonstration of the emotion, e.g., if I feel intense anger, I reach a point where I suddenly see myself as Samson (his hot body but my head) pulling down the temple. This usually helps dissipate the emotion.
2. When the emotion is exagerated (only in the mind) this can lead to a breaking point (like a zit of anger popping!!) and I begin to feel the underlying hurt that caused the anger and a sense of love for myself and the other person. I might again visualize us as two people in a field of flowers, and we are running toward each other with arms open. Then we embrace, lose our balance and fall into the flowers where I begin to sneeze (allergies).