Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD)

[Major3rd]

Hi!

I'm working on accepting myself completely in all aspects. When it comes to me as a person, most of the time I'm pretty happy with myself. But I have a lot of difficulties accepting certain things about the way I look. It has gotten a lot worse the past couple of years and has been extremely painful for me. Gets worse certain periods and better others. On the bad days it really contributes to making me depressed and more introvert and insecure than I would otherwise be. I know it is something in my mind thats playing tricks and I think the problem is more related to the way it makes me feel than the way I look. I have other perfectionist draws as well when it comes to "art", while other things in my life is a complete mess

Could this be connected to the energy centers? And if so, what chakra do you think this is related to? I'm trying to find the connection to spirituality.
I have other problems with yellow ray/third chakra so I guess this is related to that as well. 

It feels like I'm really stuck and not making any progress. Does anyone have any experiences/advise?

[Reaper]

What about your body specifically bothers you? Is any of it related to issues that could be fixed by taking better care of yourself, or is it just a fixation on the actual appearance with no logical source?

[ada]

Try to look from the bigger picture, you've lived countless bodies and will continue to. We are all one same thought experiencing itself, nothing is incomplete. Especially relating to the yellow ray body, it is merely an illusion. Once you awake in the light there is nothing as beautiful as you.

[Major3rd]

What about your body specifically bothers you? Is any of it related to issues that could be fixed by taking better care of yourself, or is it just a fixation on the actual appearance with no logical source?

It is mostly about my face and I would say it is a fixation as you say.

[Reaper]

Is there a particular way you wish your face did look? If so, where do you think this ideal image stems from in your mind? At what point/after which circumstances did you become dissatisfied with your face?

Have you experienced any significant physical or emotional trauma? Sometimes people who are sufficiently traumatized will attach their pain to an unrelated or abstractly symbolic issue as a means of coping.

[Major3rd]

Is there a particular way you wish your face did look? If so, where do you think this ideal image stems from in your mind? At what point/after which circumstances did you become dissatisfied with your face?

Have you experienced any significant physical or emotional trauma? Sometimes people who are sufficiently traumatized will attach their pain to an unrelated or abstractly symbolic issue as a means of coping.

I think it started around 13-14, but wasn't such a big deal back then. Have had both physical and emotional traumas some 5-6 years ago, there might be something to that. 

Don't want to go in to it in too much detail but its about proportions and looking more "masculine". I think it also has to do with being different, not feeling "normal" being afraid of what other people think of me. Since our society has become so oriented around looks, this has become more and more common i think.

[Reaper]

It sounds like a reaction to the idealized gender stereotypes constantly foisted upon us by our culture in the media and advertising. Traumatic experiences tend to leave a person feeling vulnerable and strengthen the reliance upon cultural acceptance.

I would wager a guess that you feel alone in life, unable to relate closely to anyone, and because of this you look for things in yourself that make you culturally unacceptable, hoping you can "fix" yourself and therefore make the loneliness go away. I would wager that your root issue is fear of being alone/not being accepted by society, which would involve all the lower chakras to a greater or lesser degree, particularly yellow, which deals with the social self.

[Major3rd]

It sounds like a reaction to the idealized gender stereotypes constantly foisted upon us by our culture in the media and advertising. Traumatic experiences tend to leave a person feeling vulnerable and strengthen the reliance upon cultural acceptance.

I would wager a guess that you feel alone in life, unable to relate closely to anyone, and because of this you look for things in yourself that make you culturally unacceptable, hoping you can "fix" yourself and therefore make the loneliness go away. I would wager that your root issue is fear of being alone/not being accepted by society, which would involve all the lower chakras to a greater or lesser degree, particularly yellow, which deals with the social self.

That was great input, thanks Reaper, really helpful and almost spot on  . I feel lonely a lot but have become better at relating closely, particularly to family. Though I feel very alone with my thoughts of spirituality, my worldview and so on, since I don't have many friends that share it. 

I'm having trouble understanding precisely how to work on these chakras. Off course everyday catalyst is perhaps the most important, and how you respond/react to it. But I haven't really gotten to a "routine" when it comes to meditation, just trying different methods that I've read about here and there. 

I am thinking about beginning with Yoga, maybe kundalini-yoga.

[Billy]

I can very much relate to you Daniel.  I have, for quite a while now, had problems with the way I look and have struggled with self acceptance.  Like you, it started in adolescence, with the worst of it occurring during my high school years where there is huge pressure to fit in and be accepted.  I have always been the skinny kid, which did quite a number on my self esteem.  My biggest issue however has always been with my nose, which is rather large and bulbous.  It was the bane of my existence during those years and still bothers me, but I am learning to accept myself for who I am.  I had a particularly traumatic experience during my early adolescence where I was made fun of by complete strangers no less simply for how I looked.  That is a scar that I am still in the process of healing.  I used to curse the heavens for how I looked and thought that things would never get better, but as I grow I realize all of this has been a lesson in self acceptance and seeing through illusion.  I still have my bad days but as with most things, time and experience provide wisdom and healing. 

Society is pretty ruthless and unforgiving when it comes to image.  You see it everywhere, in the media, plastered on every shop in sight, telling us how to look if we want to fit in and have worth.  And it only seems to be getting worse, unfortunately.  I especially feel sorry for the young who already are quite shy and struggle with insecurity.  It can really turn someones life into a living nightmare if they don't get the needed support and isolate themselves, like I did.  There are thankfully services now which assist with such issues, but at the end of the day self acceptance can only come from within, my most challenging lesson, and one I am still learning.

Best of luck on your journey Daniel.   

[Jade]

I notice a direct correlation between my mirror-self and the way I feel on the inside. If I'm feeling good, my reflection catches me in a pleasing way. If I'm feeling not-so-good, it's the opposite.

Everything is mutable, even the proportions upon our face and how we see them. Just because your reflection has a bulbous nose does not mean that everyone else views you with a bulbous nose. Letting go of our personal perceptions of ourselves is important, because we need to be that which others need to see - even if it is that one with the "strange looking" face.

I promise, most people are too concerned with their own tiny inadequacies in appearance to ever notice each other's tiny flaws/fixations. Do you remember the last person you met who had an obscene pimple on their face? I certainly don't! Humans are totally weird looking, all of us, but with digitalization we've been brought into the "uncanny valley" where we have unrealistic expectations for how humans should look. Nobody's skin is actually all one shade (like we see on TV with make up), we all have scars and blemishes. On one level, we're all pretty gross, wrinkly, graying, and stinky. On another level we're just varying expressions of a species.

[GentleWanderer]

_____

[Major3rd]

I'm having trouble understanding precisely how to work on these chakras. Off course everyday catalyst is perhaps the most important, and how you respond/react to it. But I haven't really gotten to a "routine" when it comes to meditation, just trying different methods that I've read about here and there. 

I am thinking about beginning with Yoga, maybe kundalini-yoga.

According to the little i've understood, the functionning of the chakra are closely related to our beliefs, thought patterns and emotions.
A method that seems to work for most is to write down on a piece of paper or to record with a dictaphone all your thougths (there is something special about handwriting or speaking) , your concerns and fears about your physical appearance and all that's related. Be very extensive and record all the negative thougths you can find. Empty your bag. You will probably already feel better.

Now a second step if you're interested is related to the teaching of Ra :

To begin to master the concept of mental discipline it is necessary to examine the self. The polarity of your dimension must be internalized. Where you find patience within your mind you must consciously find the corresponding impatience and vice versa. Each thought that a being has, has in its turn an antithesis. The disciplines of the mind involve, first of all, identifying both those things of which you approve and those things of which you disapprove within yourself, and then balancing each and every positive and negative charge with its equal. The mind contains all things. Therefore, you must discover this completeness within yourself.

The second mental discipline is acceptance of the completeness within your consciousness. It is not for a being of polarity in the physical consciousness to pick and choose among attributes, thus building the roles that cause blockages and confusions in the already-distorted mind complex. Each acceptance smoothes part of the many distortions that the faculty you call judgment engenders.

You can them find the opposites of the negative statements you wrote and to able to attain balance. This will help in living in oneness and opening the indigo ray. http://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthrea...#pid208225

Thanks
I've read that passage before but haven't completely understod how to work on it. Am I suppose to just try to think the opposite thought? Is it almost like affirmations, to repeat "I am confident" or "I am beautiful"?

Let's say that a person has a big nose that bothers him (just an example). The original thought is "My nose is too big". What exactly is the opposite of that? I guess that thinking "my nose is too small" doesn't make much sense? Do you think it would rather be "My big nose is beautiful" or something like that?

[Jade]

I might go with something like, "I love and accept my whole self, including my nose, which is perfect in its uniqueness".

[Major3rd]

I might go with something like, "I love and accept my whole self, including my nose, which is perfect in its uniqueness".

That's nice. If you break down the first thought it is actually in essence unacceptance (if that is a word  ) and then the opposite of that is acceptance.

[GentleWanderer]

_____

[hobbvin82]

Hi!

I'm working on accepting myself completely in all aspects. When it comes to me as a person, most of the time I'm pretty happy with myself. But I have a lot of difficulties accepting certain things about the way I look. It has gotten a lot worse the past couple of years and has been extremely painful for me. Gets worse certain periods and better others. On the bad days it really contributes to making me depressed and more introvert and insecure than I would otherwise be. I know it is something in my mind thats playing tricks and I think the problem is more related to the way it makes me feel than the way I look. I have other perfectionist draws as well when it comes to "art", while other things in my life is a complete mess

Could this be connected to the energy centers? And if so, what chakra do you think this is related to? I'm trying to find the connection to spirituality.
I have other problems with yellow ray/third chakra so I guess this is related to that as well. 

It feels like I'm really stuck and not making any progress. Does anyone have any experiences/advise?

I struggle with this as well. It has gotten better over time, and every day is better. Try and remember that your are not what your body looks like. You are an infinitely beautiful entity who just so happens to be residing in a human body right now. This body is imperfect, but you are not. There is absolutely no way to not be perfect.

One thing that I do when I start to feel self-conscious is I image that I am the only one looking at me. If I am out running, and I start to worry that someone is looking at me, thinking, "Look at him. He's too fat to run."...I image myself from their perspective, and see myself from their eyes. I then smile and realize that we are all the same. We all worry about something. And really, as mentioned above, most people aren't paying you any mind. They're too wrapped up in their own perception of this illusion.

Your thoughts create your outward appearance. If you change the way you think, you can change the way you look.

If all else fails, try the following:
(This comes from the documentary "Hungry For Change".)

For 30 days, twice a day, look into the mirror and say to yourself.

"I accept myself unconditionally right now."

[Billy]

One of my core beliefs, which I have been carrying around for a long time now, is "what I look like, is the determining factor in how worthy and deserving of love I am'.  This belief is tangled up with others of a similar nature and they feed off of each other making it difficult to narrow things down, which results for me in a world of confusion.  One of my real weaknesses is that I find it hard to really sit down with myself and empty the contents of my mind, so that I can really take a good look at the kinds of thoughts and beliefs I am looping through on a regular basis.  It is something I strive to get better at.  Ra's exercise can be quite confusing at times, as finding opposites is not as simple as it sounds upon first hearing.  It can be quite tricky and require some mental sophistication.  I might actually commit to creating a list of such thoughts and their opposites in this very thread.  It might prove helpful to others who struggle with the same stuff.  

[Immortalis Vigil]

Hi!

I'm working on accepting myself completely in all aspects. When it comes to me as a person, most of the time I'm pretty happy with myself. But I have a lot of difficulties accepting certain things about the way I look. It has gotten a lot worse the past couple of years and has been extremely painful for me. Gets worse certain periods and better others. On the bad days it really contributes to making me depressed and more introvert and insecure than I would otherwise be. I know it is something in my mind thats playing tricks and I think the problem is more related to the way it makes me feel than the way I look. I have other perfectionist draws as well when it comes to "art", while other things in my life is a complete mess

Could this be connected to the energy centers? And if so, what chakra do you think this is related to? I'm trying to find the connection to spirituality.
I have other problems with yellow ray/third chakra so I guess this is related to that as well. 

It feels like I'm really stuck and not making any progress. Does anyone have any experiences/advise?

Greetings, friend. I've found the teachings of Eckhart Tolle very helpful in addressing many of the challenges of living in 3d reality. I believe he would say your problem arises out of non-acceptance of the present moment, and ego identification with your body. Remember, your experience as an individual with a body, past, and future, are all quantum illusions of human perception. Your body is the universe, and it is perfect in all ways. You are the infinite universe experiencing reality through the perspective of a human body. Rather than reject that present reality, surrender to it, stop resisting it, and instead consider what can be learned from the experience. Perhaps the point of a non-desirable 3d vehicle for your spiritual development is to learn acceptance, surrender, and non-identification with ego.