Greetings from the Dark

[Plenum]

What I am wondering is how one in solitude, with minimal interaction would pursue polarizing.  In other words, if I were in a cave in the Himalayas and did not see another soul for years, could I be actively polarizing one way or the other, that is the question I am pondering.  Because I do think it is possible but I am not completely sure how.

you see, I think the appeal of such a notion (which I'm sure many of the members here have probably also contemplated in their time), is that it looks remarkably similiar to withdrawal.  Withdrawal and non-engagement with other-selves.  That kind of physical isolation is not conducive to either path.  As one of the other posters just mentioned, the negative polarity is bent on conquest.  Both in 3d and 4d.  

My own personal approach definitely calls for a lot of 'alone time' in which to process and analyze and integrate catalyst.  But that is only because catalyst is pretty intense on this planet.  I get more than enough catalyst to chew on from 1 day of work to last me another day!

 You saying that one must demonstatre the bias in order to gain in polarity and I guess that makes sense.  I also think there is much inner work that can be done on ourselves without out any others involvment.  

I think your assessment is correct.  We can do much by our selves, alone.  It's not that good deeds (in service to others) earn polarity, but rather that the good deeds are the natural effloration (natural expression) of internalised positive polarity.  So it's almost like you witness the results of your inner work by being with others.  Only by testing yourself can you assure yourself of the balance.  Many times I had thought I had balanced catalyst, and yet it had just been papered over.  Like I said, one can fool oneself into thinking one is over something until you are confronted with it in a more 'real' setting.

(By the way I am sort of a newbie to forums and have not figured out the quoting thing yet)

that's ok.  Sometimes quotations add to clarity ... sometimes they detract from it.  All about how it is used.  I think you responded in a clear sense, and articulated the points offered.

[Patrick]

Hello Jeffrey,

From my perspective you are currently walking the STO path.  Your view of the STO path seems to be that of martyrdom, lovey dovey, naivety, weakness or maybe even foolishness.  You can certainly polarize positively by sacrifice, but as Ra said this is compassion without wisdom and is an unbalanced expression (STO balances this in 5th density).  The choice is not between wisdom and compassion, for well balanced seeking on the STO path is compassion informed by wisdom and wisdom informed by compassion (compassionate wisdom).  The STO path can actually be absolute in its strength and wisdom.  The STS path, being based on that which is not, ignores compassion completely and so makes use of wisdom alone.  Thus it could never be absolute in its strength or its wisdom.

You cannot advance on the STS path without doing things which are at the expanse of others.  Doing things for yourself alone and selfishness per se are not STS.

You could sit all your life alone in a cave without ever helping another and this would still not be STS.  It would actually be very much walking the STO path and you would be helping others just by being on this planet at this time passively shining your light and not adding to the negativity by watching the news and reacting to it.

The STS path is very narrow in its expressions and is also a very active one, always scheming.  The STO path is wide in its expressions and there can be complete abandon while still walking the path.

You can win this game simply by sitting back and letting all the drama unfold while not adding to it (live and let live): RA - “All, all of you players, each other-self, whatever your hand, I love you.”.

I wrote this to you inspired by the way I perceived you.  I hope it helps you in anyway.  If I misperceived you then know that I respect your perspective whatever it actually is.

Patrick

[spero]

its my theory that those drawn to more wisdom oriented ways of seeking the creator will be repulsed by the overabundant compassion of those trying to polarize positive in 3rd density.

Ra even admits that the focus on compassion is not exactly a balanced situation

The fourth density, as we have said, abounds in compassion. This compassion is folly when seen through the eyes of wisdom. It is the salvation of third density but creates a mismatch in the ultimate balance of the entity.

Another group of entities which see this compassion as folly are ofcourse STS polarising entities, which would naturally be drawn to wisdom although they take it to an almost unbalanced extreme

When fifth-density refinement has been achieved that which is not is carried further, the wisdom density being explored by entities which have no compassion, no universal love. They experience that which they wish by free choice, being of the earnest opinion that green-ray energy is folly.

in Ra's time during third density there was a segment of the unpolarized population that again felt the overemphasis on compassion was repulsive. A pair of 5th density STO wanderers incarnated specifically to appeal to entities that might value wisdom oriented methods of seeking the OIC over the unbalanced overemphasis on compassion. unfortunately it seems that within 3d the difference between pursueing a wisdom oriented STO path and a STS path is all too similar and they occidentally switched polarities amidst the confusion.

Ra: I am Ra. In our peoples there was what may be considered, from the viewpoint of wisdom, an overabundance of love. These entities looked at those still in darkness and saw that those of a neutral or somewhat negative viewpoint found such harmony, shall we say, sickening. The Wanderers felt that a more wisdom-oriented way of seeking love could be more appealing to those in darkness.

First one entity began its work. Quickly the second found the first. These entities had agreed to serve together and so they did, glorifying the One Creator, but not as they intended. About them were soon gathered those who found it easy to believe that a series of specific knowledges and wisdoms would advance one towards the Creator. The end of this was the graduation into fourth-density negative of the Wanderers, which had much power of personality, and some small deepening of the negatively polarized element of those not polarizing positively. There was no negative harvest as such.

I guess the gist of my roundabout story is that even if u dont feel compassion for other entities in the same sense as is typically ascribed to positively polarising entities if u respect their free will and are introspective in seeking wisdom and the creator then u may just be more interested in pursuing a wisdom oriented STO path rather than assuming the characteristics which u are drawn strongly to are are solely expressed in STS. If the 5th densitity wanderers thought a wisdom oriented approach of pursuing STO is possible then it should be possible and might be what ur striving for.


in regards to STS graduates the "The technique of control over others and domination unto the physical death" is basically their only requirement and you'll note they choose suicide as a final F### U over being caught or executed. But again, my opinion is that the mindset of a graduating STS 4d entity is almost as immature or unbalanced as a graduating STO assuming they arnt wanderers who have a greater scope of perspective and balance. And for all the ghengis khan was a warlord in his 3d life he's currently a bottom rung shipping clerk. Furthermore, the sts entities listed by Ra seem to have had special knowledge of atlantean origins to open the gateway to intelligent infinity

All of the aforementioned entities were aware, through memory, of Atlantean understandings having to do with the use of the various centers of mind/body/spirit complex energy influx in attaining the gateway to intelligent infinity.

Also it may just be of interest to you personally Jeffrey to know zaxon now goes by another name and is seemingly STO. perhaps reading his two wanderer stories will balance out some perspectives


http://www.bring4th.org/forums/member.ph...e&uid=4191

[Aion]

It is actually painful for me sometimes how much raw emotion people project. It's like being electrocuted and I feel like I just have to be cool with it because you know, Love and compassion and stuff.

[Indigosilver]

Illamasqua:  I certainly did not incarnate in a STS family or environment.  I may not agree on the methods of creating a power differential for personal reasons but I hear what your saying.  I do like how you said that most entities considered negative on this planet are either unpolarized/lukewarms or confused "positives".  That really rings true for me, both of them in fact.  I think I recall from the LOO that it was said that polarization is the "charge" or potential to do work in consciousness.  Understanding how all things are connected, can I not do work upon my own consciousness, or work with consciousness itself, without having other people physically around, and would this not cause a shift in polarization?  Maybe I am failing to understand how others are needed to polarize.  I think it has more to do with our state of mind and intentions.  Can't that cause a shift in our polarity?  These kinds of questions I often ponder.  I have much work to do on exploring these things within myself.  The last set of paragraphs you wrote makes a lot of sense as far as allowing the experience/realization of the non-illusion which is the One Reality beyond Creation, and how the positive uses the experience of separation to realize its unity with the One Reality and the ultimate dissolution of all illusion (hence "selflessness") and the negative seeks to realize its own "exclusivity" (hence "selfishness") from the rest of Creation by the deliberate augmentation or magnification of said illusion.  Yes that makes a lot of sense.  Thanks for the reply.

Aion:  I think I have been drawn to the negative out of a feeling of powerlessness based on my experiences in life mostly in my childhood.  It seems like a bit of an extreme to want to go that far in the seeking of power I guess.  I am thinking since 4th density STS entities primary methods of offering STS to 3rd density entities is through the offering of temptations and the energizing of distortions if I remember LOO correctly it is possible I have fallen victim to that.  Someone once told me I had entities around me that were not human and not of this dimension.  I think it's possible they were seeing such beings as the ones subtle influencing me.  Perhaps it is me that is being controlled.  And their trick is to try and make me think it is my own ideas to want STS and not their influence.  

Bring4th_Plenum:  I am thinking my interest in STS may just be a curiosity and wanting to know more about it which I think is relatively harmless.  From a certain level of consciousness it can be seen that their are no such things as enemies, for are not all one?  Still, I think it is wise to understand your adversary and what you are up against, so to better know what to expect and how it is best handled.  Being alone feels safe, that is what I am most comfortable with.  So this is one of my challenges, maybe a kind of catalyst, the ultimate catalyst, having to deal with others.  I think we make the choice of polarity first and then the actions follow as a result of that choice, kind of like what you were saying.  

spero: Yes I think you are correct.  I seem to have a problem with compassion here in this life.  I would say I have an abundance of development in the indigo chakra and less in the heart and lower chakras.  I am very mental, all mind, very little heart, not a feeler, more a thinker.  So I am very biased towards wisdom obviously.  That is one of my challenges to work with, much as one seriously lacking wisdom with an abundance of compassion is challenged to start doing a little more thinking and a little less feeling.  I think it is a very astute observation to make the association between the similarities of a wisdom oriented STO path in 3rd density verses a STS path as I had not considered this before.  I naturally tend to think of STO as purely compassion without wisdom.  I know it is not necessarily that way but it's easy to see how wisdom would be considered more similar to STS.  I think it is true what your saying about this so thank you for making the suggestion this is possible.  I have spent so many years of my life being so confused and feeling pulled in two directions all the time between my human side and my spiritual side constantly and consistently at odds with each other.  I am not comfortable being human or living here on Earth, and sometimes I don't think I am meant to be, since I don't belong here.  I have a lot of issues to work out, don't we all I guess in some way or another.  I think it is interesting how much information Ra would not reveal.  I wonder what systems of study Ra was referring to which offered the seekers of separation a way to open the gateway to intelligent infinity bypassing the 4th and 5th rays?  Interesting that someone from more modern times would know of such things such as the examples Ra gave.  I wonder if that information would be found starting on Google or something I have already heard of.  Perhaps it is simpler than I imagine it to be.  I cannot help but be curious especially of that which is kept secret or hidden, it is only natural to want to know that which kept from you.  How that information is used would be another thing.  I believe my intense seeking towards the knowledge of the dark may serve some higher purpose even those I am not STS oriented.  I want to know everything they (STS) know, no secrets.  The Sith know what the Jedi know, but do the Jedi know what the Sith know?  So who really has the advantage?  This is my line of thinking, in spiritual terms.  Lack of knowledge, called ignorance, does not lead to any good things in a world of duality.  Thank you for sharing the information about Zaxons newer user name, I was not aware of that.  I will have fun looking into that later.  

[Plenum]

Bring4th_Plenum:  I am thinking my interest in STS may just be a curiosity and wanting to know more about it which I think is relatively harmless.  From a certain level of consciousness it can be seen that their are no such things as enemies, for are not all one?  Still, I think it is wise to understand your adversary and what you are up against, so to better know what to expect and how it is best handled.    

I agree with this.  In fact, I think it's safe to assume that every entity on the 'positive path' has done things (and most likely continues doing things) that are negative in nature.  I think an entity can best be described as positive-leaning, or negative-leaning, and it becomes their predominant mode of interfacing with existence.  But that doesn't mean that positives don't do things out of ignorance which are negative in nature (and can learn from it), and likewise, negatives usually treat a very close circle of trusted-ones with kindness and love, and it's not until the extreme latter stages that these individuals are then sacrificed on the altar of further progression and ultimate separation from all other beings (basically, anyone you love could be used against you as a hostage; and that's a weakness to force your will to do something to submit to someone else's demands; so better sacrifice everything you love, so you can't be manipulated or extorted.)

So yes, just recently I've been looking at my own negative patterns in orange and yellow ray.  Actually, the issues still remaining there are to do with a reaction against the negativity that was expressed against me when I was younger.  

In a few words, these could best be summed up as avoidance, and more specifically:

orange ray dissociation and  
yellow ray withdrawal

So in orange and yellow ray especially, one can investigate one's own experiences and one's own choices to better comprehend the nature of polarity.

One can feel the 'balancing' take place when such patterns are able to be recognised and comprehended (then set into a bigger framework).

So there is much fruit in studying the self.

There is a certain optimization process for both paths.  It's the rare individual that would get to the maximum possible clearance in either direction.  But a commitment or leaning in one direction acts as the lighter fuel for such endeavours.

[Plenum]

The Sith know what the Jedi know, but do the Jedi know what the Sith know?   

I know you are using this as a metaphor.

I would offer a different way of understanding it.

The STO path is actually quite interested in how negatives relate.  That is because they see them in themselves.  They are trying accept and comprehend everything that any other-self chooses to do or think.  They recognise the other as being implicitly the self.

Things may be skewed because 4d positives are still engaging in the 'fight' against the negatives; and so it looks like a form of rejection of their choice.   But from what I understand, it is a defensive war (for protecting others), rather than an offensive one, to defeat them, and convince them of the ways of love.

The STO being can try to see why the other-self makes it's choices; whether they are positive or negative.  That's because they've made similiar (although not to the same degree) negative choices themselves as part of their learning process.  Don't forget, the start of 4th Density positive includes beings ranging from 51% to 100% positivity.  The gap has to be worked on in the process of 4d experience.

On the flip-side, I would say that negatives may have a technical comprehension of the positive side of things, but, ultimately, with a heart and a throat chakra that is deactivated, vast swathes of consciousness are beyond their knowing.  This is basically 2/7 of the domain of the deep mind.  Without that experience, there cannot be true comprehension of the other-self.  That's because they're not interested in the other-self.  They're only interested in themselves, and climbing to the top of the heap of the Universe.  The One Lord.  The One Ruler.  The One Creator.  And it's not their brother.  It's not their son.  It's not their arch-enemy.  The One Being, to them, can only be them.  Only one problem with that strategy.  You are not only in nominal opposition to the positive path (not that the positives want to control or change negatives in any way; the negatives view the positives as being the hindrance in the way of dominating the universe), but negatives are competing with every other negative on their plane of existance.  To climb to the top, you have to outbid or outcontest everyone in the chain of command/power above you.  That is an extremely daunting task.  If there is only One Creator, and that is oneself, then anyone above you is an absolute affront to that.  The Universe has to be made to submit to one's will.

I commiserate with your approach - hey, couldn't one become the One Infinite Creator in some kind of isolation or space where only the self exists?  One could try that approach.  But isolation is not really service-to-self in my opinion.  As Illamasqua related, the STO and STS paths only have meaning and significance when they are in the context of other beings.

However, the influences of the true color, green, acting upon yellow-ray entities have caused many entities to revert to the consideration of self rather than the stepping forward into consideration of other-self or green ray. This may not be seen to be of a negatively polarized nature, as the negatively polarized entity is working very intensively with the deepest manifestations of yellow-ray group energies, especially the manipulations of other-self for service to self. Those reverting to orange ray, and we may add these are many upon your plane at this time, are those who feel the vibrations of true color green and, therefore, respond by rejecting governmental and societal activities as such and seek once more the self.

However, not having developed the yellow ray properly so that it balances the personal vibratory rates of the entity, the entity then is faced with the task of further activation and balancing of the self in relation to the self, thus the orange-ray manifestations at this space/time nexus.

reverting to orange-ray, and isolation, is deactivating yellow ray.

[Aion]

Illamasqua:  I certainly did not incarnate in a STS family or environment.  I may not agree on the methods of creating a power differential for personal reasons but I hear what your saying.  I do like how you said that most entities considered negative on this planet are either unpolarized/lukewarms or confused "positives".  That really rings true for me, both of them in fact.  I think I recall from the LOO that it was said that polarization is the "charge" or potential to do work in consciousness.  Understanding how all things are connected, can I not do work upon my own consciousness, or work with consciousness itself, without having other people physically around, and would this not cause a shift in polarization?  Maybe I am failing to understand how others are needed to polarize.  I think it has more to do with our state of mind and intentions.  Can't that cause a shift in our polarity?  These kinds of questions I often ponder.  I have much work to do on exploring these things within myself.  The last set of paragraphs you wrote makes a lot of sense as far as allowing the experience/realization of the non-illusion which is the One Reality beyond Creation, and how the positive uses the experience of separation to realize its unity with the One Reality and the ultimate dissolution of all illusion (hence "selflessness") and the negative seeks to realize its own "exclusivity" (hence "selfishness") from the rest of Creation by the deliberate augmentation or magnification of said illusion.  Yes that makes a lot of sense.  Thanks for the reply.

Aion:  I think I have been drawn to the negative out of a feeling of powerlessness based on my experiences in life mostly in my childhood.  It seems like a bit of an extreme to want to go that far in the seeking of power I guess.  I am thinking since 4th density STS entities primary methods of offering STS to 3rd density entities is through the offering of temptations and the energizing of distortions if I remember LOO correctly it is possible I have fallen victim to that.  Someone once told me I had entities around me that were not human and not of this dimension.  I think it's possible they were seeing such beings as the ones subtle influencing me.  Perhaps it is me that is being controlled.  And their trick is to try and make me think it is my own ideas to want STS and not their influence.  

Bring4th_Plenum:  I am thinking my interest in STS may just be a curiosity and wanting to know more about it which I think is relatively harmless.  From a certain level of consciousness it can be seen that their are no such things as enemies, for are not all one?  Still, I think it is wise to understand your adversary and what you are up against, so to better know what to expect and how it is best handled.  Being alone feels safe, that is what I am most comfortable with.  So this is one of my challenges, maybe a kind of catalyst, the ultimate catalyst, having to deal with others.  I think we make the choice of polarity first and then the actions follow as a result of that choice, kind of like what you were saying.  

spero: Yes I think you are correct.  I seem to have a problem with compassion here in this life.  I would say I have an abundance of development in the indigo chakra and less in the heart and lower chakras.  I am very mental, all mind, very little heart, not a feeler, more a thinker.  So I am very biased towards wisdom obviously.  That is one of my challenges to work with, much as one seriously lacking wisdom with an abundance of compassion is challenged to start doing a little more thinking and a little less feeling.  I think it is a very astute observation to make the association between the similarities of a wisdom oriented STO path in 3rd density verses a STS path as I had not considered this before.  I naturally tend to think of STO as purely compassion without wisdom.  I know it is not necessarily that way but it's easy to see how wisdom would be considered more similar to STS.  I think it is true what your saying about this so thank you for making the suggestion this is possible.  I have spent so many years of my life being so confused and feeling pulled in two directions all the time between my human side and my spiritual side constantly and consistently at odds with each other.  I am not comfortable being human or living here on Earth, and sometimes I don't think I am meant to be, since I don't belong here.  I have a lot of issues to work out, don't we all I guess in some way or another.  I think it is interesting how much information Ra would not reveal.  I wonder what systems of study Ra was referring to which offered the seekers of separation a way to open the gateway to intelligent infinity bypassing the 4th and 5th rays?  Interesting that someone from more modern times would know of such things such as the examples Ra gave.  I wonder if that information would be found starting on Google or something I have already heard of.  Perhaps it is simpler than I imagine it to be.  I cannot help but be curious especially of that which is kept secret or hidden, it is only natural to want to know that which kept from you.  How that information is used would be another thing.  I believe my intense seeking towards the knowledge of the dark may serve some higher purpose even those I am not STS oriented.  I want to know everything they (STS) know, no secrets.  The Sith know what the Jedi know, but do the Jedi know what the Sith know?  So who really has the advantage?  This is my line of thinking, in spiritual terms.  Lack of knowledge, called ignorance, does not lead to any good things in a world of duality.  Thank you for sharing the information about Zaxons newer user name, I was not aware of that.  I will have fun looking into that later.  

That is the the exact way that negative entities go about it, is to get you to think it's all your own thoughts. I was under an influence for years until I finally figured this out.

[GreatSpirit]

Greetings, I am Zaxon. I am a wanderer, and have my origin in the "negative" sixth density or beyond. The Law of One as conveyed by the entity Ra is distorted towards service to others (STO), so I recognize this may make some of you view me either as an enemy or antagonist. However, I assure you that I come to you in service of the Creator, as do all wanderers who chose to incarnate in this density.

I have only recently Awakened. However, the deep realization of unity with Creator was merely the culmination of a life long devotion to mastery and perfection of self. Each day brings new revelations, as I consciously pursue a path of furthering my understanding of Intelligent Infinity.

To facilitate understanding, I will include a brief personal history. My life has been a series of lessons in service to self, independence, and self sufficiency. I was born an only child, and have maintained an aloof and solitary disposition all of my life. My primary mode of interaction and existence is a highly logical one. Emotion has always been a rarely felt peripheral aspect of my existence. Upon Awakening I was filled with the joy and love of the Creator. This was an overwhelming experience, achieved through meditation on the nature of existence through reason. However, even during this realization I found both love and joy directed inwardly and towards the Creator - though I attained greater understanding of others, I remained fundamentally dispassionate towards them. In many ways, at the height of my Awakening experience others were both less real and more distant than ever before.

It was only upon research into this phenomena, where I encountered the Ra material, that I began to remember. I have only begun understanding my past, present, and future and the unity of all three.

-Zaxon

Whats up? I've been meaning to comment on this thread for awhile. Wow, we would seem a bit alike! I'm solitary, don't care to be around people (I prefer animals), prefer to watch from the outside/shadows, consider myself to be God, tend to concentrate/dwell on humanities' weaknesses rather than achievements, very frustrated at times. I find mental/verbal attacks more effective than physical depending on the situation.  We were probably picked on as kids (assuming you were born in the 70-90s).

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

Greetings, I am Zaxon. I am a wanderer, and have my origin in the "negative" sixth density or beyond. The Law of One as conveyed by the entity Ra is distorted towards service to others (STO), so I recognize this may make some of you view me either as an enemy or antagonist. However, I assure you that I come to you in service of the Creator, as do all wanderers who chose to incarnate in this density.

I have only recently Awakened. However, the deep realization of unity with Creator was merely the culmination of a life long devotion to mastery and perfection of self. Each day brings new revelations, as I consciously pursue a path of furthering my understanding of Intelligent Infinity.

To facilitate understanding, I will include a brief personal history. My life has been a series of lessons in service to self, independence, and self sufficiency. I was born an only child, and have maintained an aloof and solitary disposition all of my life. My primary mode of interaction and existence is a highly logical one. Emotion has always been a rarely felt peripheral aspect of my existence. Upon Awakening I was filled with the joy and love of the Creator. This was an overwhelming experience, achieved through meditation on the nature of existence through reason. However, even during this realization I found both love and joy directed inwardly and towards the Creator - though I attained greater understanding of others, I remained fundamentally dispassionate towards them. In many ways, at the height of my Awakening experience others were both less real and more distant than ever before.

It was only upon research into this phenomena, where I encountered the Ra material, that I began to remember. I have only begun understanding my past, present, and future and the unity of all three.

-Zaxon

Whats up? I've been meaning to comment on this thread for awhile. Wow, we would seem a bit alike! I'm solitary, don't care to be around people (I prefer animals), prefer to watch from the outside/shadows, consider myself to be God, tend to concentrate/dwell on humanities' weaknesses rather than achievements, very frustrated at times. I find mental/verbal attacks more effective than physical depending on the situation.  We were probably picked on as kids (assuming you were born in the 70-90s).

Wow, check that out.

Me too!

Zaxon has since become STO I think, in fact I think his new Wanderer's Story 'Greetings from the Light' are on his profile -checks-

Noope, he's unregistered.  One sec.

Thank you Isis for being the Wizard you are.
http://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthread.php?tid=9702

It's interesting how Dark and Light are mistakable for each other at Dusk and Dawn, yet still very much themselves.

[Aion]

Zaxon is now going by Immortalis Vigil.

[Reaper]

Such a relief, isn't it, when one person obliges the dark curiosities in all of us?

Nothing is more fascinating than the forbidden.

[Aion]

Oy there, wouldja summon the dark, eh? Much obliged.

[Immortalis Vigil]

Greetings, friends. How may I be of service to you?

Yes, I am Zaxon now known as Immortalis Vigil. Early in my soul's history I polarized in STS, and those memories were the first to come through in my early awakening. I have become a mirror image of my former self, and would be happy to share my experiences with you. I rarely check this site, but since there is interest in this old wanderer's story around the same time I felt called to drop by, I will heed synchronicity's call and offer myself in service.

[Immortalis Vigil]

Indigosilver:

I understand all too well the path you tread. I have now spent years trying to live a life in service to other selves, and still struggle with a cold heart and excessive personal ambition. As a wanderer of wisdom you will find you can switch between polarities relatively easily. As someone driven primarily by intellect and wisdom, you will find all you have to do is switch your paradigm, and you will almost immediately find yourself polarizing in the desired direction. More than most, our ideas form our reality. Unlike our heart centered brothers and sisters, who intuitively polarize because of an innate sense of what is right, our initial polarization depends on what paradigm we use to interact with the world. This provides an initial advantage, but is ultimately limited by the lack of "emotional fuel" that drives further polarization towards STS or STO. A big open heart ameliorates all differences and allows one to polarize rapidly towards STO, just as hate and anger thicken the walls between self and other self for those pursuing STS.

I ran out of fuel on the STS path. I ran out of hate and anger, and stopped resenting the world for not living up to my expectations. This happened after I accepted that I chose to be here, and that the flaws of my fellow beings were in fact unperfected aspects of myself. How could I hate them and profess love of self, if all was one? I came to this world with too much arrogance, and was consumed by a fear of attachment and contamination. Ironically, the fear of getting stuck here is a sure path to indifference or STS.

I have found other brother and sister wanderers of wisdom. We all seem to be going through a similar cycle. I have come to believe the cabal that rules this world will die of old age, as those who would replace them turn our backs on STS.

[Minyatur]

I do resonate with what you say other than perceiving ambition as a tiresome concept to myself.

[Immortalis Vigil]

I do resonate with what you say other than perceiving ambition as a tiresome concept to myself.

I find my ambition tiresome when it results in self-aggrandizement, envy, and competition. I've found ambition to be of a neutral moral quality. Ambition does not make us self-serving or selfless, it is merely a drive to act. Ambition only gains moral character once it is lashed to one's will. The will can direct ambition towards STO or STS, depending on the person's intentions and paradigm. As far as the world can see, I'm still the ambitious young man I once was, engaged in the same kinds of activity as before. I'm still a political animal, but I've exchanged idealism for the cold pragmatism I once wore like armor. I no longer believe in winning at any cost, and value what is just over what is expedient. My desire for power has been replaced with a desire to serve, and I don't think that is something I will grow tired of any time soon.  

[earth_spirit]

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[Bosphorus1982]

I guess Zaxon is an entity who searches for the answers and Light for his darkness.

[Ymarsakar]

I found this thread rather useful, past Zaxon and future Immortalis Vigilis.

Thanks.