The Reality of Murder Fantasies

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

An inherent lesson is available through people.  With that said:

Including those that steal $200 dollars worth of stuff right in front of you.  What messes me up is the entire time watching the thief walk away all I could think was, how I wanted to bring a rapid end to his life.  I knew I didn't want to, but the thoughts just came anyway.

Then commence the usual anxiety freak out (I stepped forward, will that be enough to fire me?  What'd I do wrong, will I need to find a new job, all of that.), then adrenaline, then anger, then more anger, then blood red anger then its like a scene out of Dexter.

You can just walk away? <Insert fantasy of fatally wounding the individual.>

Instead, in reality.  I stood there powerless to do anything.

Because of a Person.  A nobody just like me.

And it just makes me wonder.  Murder fantasies suck, they're illogical but make you feel so good because you put the control back in your hands.  Then the guilt and terror of thinking such things comes up.  You wonder if there's something wrong with you or what is going on in your head.

Hah this actually JUST HAPPENED, I figured.  I'll ask B4 while I'm seething in emotions...

Do any of you ever have something happen that angers you so much you withdraw into your mind and just go over different ways of taking revenge or taking back control?

Spiritual advice greatly desired...  I'm pretty mad at the moment but I'll calm down.  Just wish I didn't always end up feeling such anger at these things.  They happen.  Higher Self attracted the encounter, they happen.
I tried not to be mad and it happened anyway.

-Sighs-

[spero]

sorry to hear you witness or be participant to a robbery(?)

who doesnt get angry and imagine taking back control, violently or not. its pretty normal. My advice would be to take some time and explore the emotion the anger might be supressing i.e. of feeling powerless, an uncomfortable emotion but if its uncomfortable then its often catalyst.  There might also be some red ray fight or flight stuff going on, as well as societal constructs that tell you your violent thoughts are bad but at the same time orchestrate the powerless narrative you should engage in in those situations. couple that with being worried ur gonna lose your job and there really is a mixed bag of emotions and triggers to explore.

Also theres nothing wrong with indulging desires in the imagination (18.5) 

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

That Ra session is the only reason I don't judge myself vehemently for what goes on in my brain -_-

Just wish I was less swayed so I could stay focused on how I want to be in those situations.

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

You know what. I just realized I did do as I desired.

I told the guy to have a good day. Instead of telling him to go die. I didn't control my thoughts but I controlled my words and actions moderately enough to squeeze out that single positive thing.

I got robbed today, I work Graveyards at a Gas Station. I'm glad I met such helplessness with a tinge of positivity

[Plenum]

I got robbed today, I work Graveyards at a Gas Station.  I'm glad I met such helplessness with a tinge of positivity

so was this a dream?  or did it actually happen today?

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

This actually happened, at 3:12am nonetheless, which was what initially made me go, 'oh, my higher self sent that guy.  Thanks. :l.'
Since 3:12 is a sequence of 123 from the center going to the right it made it a synchronicity for me.

But yeah.  It's why I'm up posting during the hours I do.  My new job has me with a lot of down time.  But because bad people are just part of the risk I get a bit of a higher pay.

And honestly, 150 dollars worth of known stolen items (mostly cigarettes) wasn't worth a confrontation, I'm not really a fighter anyways.  The adrenaline is still going a bit though four hours later...  Bed time's coming soon though.  Which kinda sucks.

Can I, just ask if you think I'm making this up?

[Jade]

Feeling emotions like anger and rage is perfectly okay. It's just not dwelling in them (or acting on them), and being able to balance them energetically after you experience them that is important. "Seating them in the ray of experience" - this was an orange ray event (someone stole from you (disrespect) and you wanted to take their life), moved up to yellow (how will this affect my job?) and hopefully, you've been able to keep it at green and above (the acceptance of the event; the true desire for the man to be well).

You can move it up to blue and indigo by pondering how you had a part in creating this experience, how the catalyst has affected you and why your Higher Self decided you needed this catalyst. You're already doing the right thing - contemplating the emotion and its effects, instead of dwelling in the murder fantasies. It's easy to make the other choice.

For what it's worth, when I worked in retail, I was always told not to fight any thieves because all of the products in the store are insured, but I am not. On the flip side, almost every restaurant I have worked at would fully expect me to chase someone out of the building if they didn't pay (and if I failed, would have to pay for the stolen items myself). I'm glad you are safe (and that the thief is safe too)

Another thing to consider is the amount of value we give "things" in our society. I personally don't believe property theft is worthy of a punishment anywhere near death. But, we are definitely conditioned to think it is. I know it's the action of disrespect that probably bothered you most of all, but that $150 of merchandise was really probably closer to half that value and, not near the value of his life.

Hope some of my thoughts on the subject help neutralize your thoughts.

[Minyatur]

The only person I'd see myself actually killing is a friend of mine, picture it as a sort of game. Like.. haha I ruined your incarnation.

I don't really get angry so much, it's an emotion I very rarely explore. But I can still have fantasies such as that but I am a bit more cold emotionally when thinking about it.

I've got a fun game where I fake slicing my friend's throats when they don't see it coming. It's especially fun when high.

[Plenum]

no, the thread title threw me off, that's all.

anyway, we were talking about the Law of Free Will before.  I guess this is an example of someone coming in and taking stuff (technically, not your stuff, but you were responsible for it), and then the feelings that arise from such an infringing experience.

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

I wouldn't call it infringing.  He didn't actually force me to do anything, just asked me to get what he wanted, then took it all.
The title was named as such because it felt pretty real inside my head at the moment since I was typing a thread name with adrenaline and 'derp' going on as far as thinking was concerned since I'm not used to this.  Yet.  Probably.

Feeling emotions like anger and rage is perfectly okay. It's just not dwelling in them (or acting on them), and being able to balance them energetically after you experience them that is important. "Seating them in the ray of experience" - this was an orange ray event (someone stole from you (disrespect) and you wanted to take their life), moved up to yellow (how will this affect my job?) and hopefully, you've been able to keep it at green and above (the acceptance of the event; the true desire for the man to be well).

You can move it up to blue and indigo by pondering how you had a part in creating this experience, how the catalyst has affected you and why your Higher Self decided you needed this catalyst. You're already doing the right thing - contemplating the emotion and its effects, instead of dwelling in the murder fantasies. It's easy to make the other choice.

For what it's worth, when I worked in retail, I was always told not to fight any thieves because all of the products in the store are insured, but I am not. On the flip side, almost every restaurant I have worked at would fully expect me to chase someone out of the building if they didn't pay (and if I failed, would have to pay for the stolen items myself). I'm glad you are safe (and that the thief is safe too)

Another thing to consider is the amount of value we give "things" in our society. I personally don't believe property theft is worthy of a punishment anywhere near death. But, we are definitely conditioned to think it is. I know it's the action of disrespect that probably bothered you most of all, but that $150 of merchandise was really probably closer to half that value and, not near the value of his life.

Hope some of my thoughts on the subject help neutralize your thoughts.

It's funny how you mapped that out, it's exactly what I went through.  Only I'd name Indigo working in tandem with each Ray, in order of the Red Ray as the very first response, being surprise or shock, then orange ray kicked in anger.  Yellow ray reminded me not to fight.  Green ray was kind of shut down at the moment.  Blue ray kept silent mostly (beyond a 'come on...'), Indigo ray was going fully though, just.  Like a spider-sense???  Like a spiderman sense, telling me this guy was sketchy.  Then it was a steady ride along with each ray's activation and response.  Got stuck in the red-orange-yellow feedback loop of 'murder fantasies for this reason and that reason', each part was informed as I calmed down and relaxed.
Sort of like a mental check up in my mind to assure myself everything was okay, working through knowing/understanding what the indigo ray was telling it needed to be felt, if that makes any sense at all???

It's why literally ten minutes before I saw your post I made a thought to change my outlook towards the guy.  It's a gradual process, but at least he doesn't deserve to die now in my mind.  Just hope he doesn't choke on all those cigarettes, seriously.  So green ray got back into gear there and helped remind my indigo ray how to process the feedback loop (thank you lower sanctum/shadow self) which led to blue ray honesty to myself about how I felt (useless) and ended up as you said.  Now it's just catalyst in a sense to learn lessons from.  How I'd rather be in the future.  You know, 'trying to be a better I' type of stuff

The only person I'd see myself actually killing is a friend of mine, picture it as a sort of game. Like.. haha I ruined your incarnation.

I don't really get angry so much, it's an emotion I very rarely explore. But I can still have fantasies such as that but I am a bit more cold emotionally when thinking about it.

I've got a fun game where I fake slicing my friend's throats when they don't see it coming. It's especially fun when high.

You sound as bad as my two best friends who constantly pretend stab and violently murder each other -_-
If you like throat slicing, Season 5 Episode 1, The Walking Dead.  Enjoy!  -shudders-  What if your killing him actually fulfilled and informed him of his incarnation though, Min??

[Minyatur]

The only person I'd see myself actually killing is a friend of mine, picture it as a sort of game. Like.. haha I ruined your incarnation.

I don't really get angry so much, it's an emotion I very rarely explore. But I can still have fantasies such as that but I am a bit more cold emotionally when thinking about it.

I've got a fun game where I fake slicing my friend's throats when they don't see it coming. It's especially fun when high.

You sound as bad as my two best friends who constantly pretend stab and violently murder each other -_-
If you like throat slicing, Season 5 Episode 1, The Walking Dead.  Enjoy!  -shudders-  What if your killing him actually fulfilled and informed him of his incarnation though, Min??

Hm... hadn't thought of that. I definitely don't want to fulfill his incarnation, he actually does seem to be begging to get killed. 

He shall live his whole life, for letting him live is the true evil.

[Jade]

Sort of like a mental check up in my mind to assure myself everything was okay, working through knowing/understanding what the indigo ray was telling it needed to be felt, if that makes any sense at all???

I think this is an extremely healthy relationship to develop with catalyst. It's letting it blow by without considering it's energetic implications that causes further problems. Processing extreme events like this in the moment/subsequent moments are some of our biggest opportunities for growth, the real grist mill of 3D.

[AnthroHeart]

Movies where there's a bad guy doing something bad to another, I think of killing them, for only a moment before I think about loving them.

[Reaper]

I have these thoughts all the time, sometimes over very trivial things, such as someone cutting me off in traffic. I do nothing to suppress it. It just passes through like an electrical surge and then it's gone, and obviously I don't actually go around murdering people, nor do I have any desire to. It's a very primal, instinctual reaction, and I think the horror most people feel toward these sort of thoughts is the only unnatural thing taking place.

[tamaryn]

Wait, he only stole cigs? What brand did he ask for??

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

Marlboro. I had none in cartons like he wanted so he opted for camel lights in a carton and 10 boxes of Newport shorts.

[AnthroHeart]

I couldn't even watch Repo! The Genetic Opera
It's supposed to be funny I think, but it was too bloody for me.
I don't like gore or vore either.

[anagogy]

Spiritual advice greatly desired...  I'm pretty mad at the moment but I'll calm down.  Just wish I didn't always end up feeling such anger at these things.  They happen.  Higher Self attracted the encounter, they happen.
I tried not to be mad and it happened anyway.

Ra: The proper role of the entity is in this density to experience all things desired, to then analyze, understand, and accept these experiences, distilling from them the love/light within them. Nothing shall be overcome. That which is not needed falls away.

The orientation develops due to analysis of desire. These desires become more and more distorted towards conscious application of love/light as the entity furnishes itself with distilled experience. We have found it to be inappropriate in the extreme to encourage the overcoming of any desires, except to suggest the imagination rather than the carrying out in the physical plane, as you call it, of those desires not consonant with the Law of One; this preserving the primal distortion of free will.

Ra: The entity polarizing positively perceives the anger. This entity, if using this catalyst mentally, blesses and loves this anger in itself. It then intensifies this anger consciously in mind alone until the folly of this red-ray energy is perceived not as folly in itself but as energy subject to spiritual entropy due to the randomness of energy being used.

Positive orientation then provides the will and faith to continue this mentally intense experience of letting the anger be understood, accepted, and integrated with the mind/body/spirit complex. The other-self which is the object of anger is thus transformed into an object of acceptance, understanding, and accommodation, all being reintegrated using the great energy which anger began.

Ra: Control is the key to negatively polarized use of catalyst. Acceptance is the key to positively polarized use of catalyst.

Sounds like you followed Ra's advice down to a tee.  

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

Thank you B4th, sorry for the graphic descriptions provided.  I'll be more conscious about that next time

Anagogy, I wasn't even thinking of how Ra told us to go about these things, I just, I was in the middle of an adrenaline rush, I wasn't really thinking, you know?  I just had the luck to stand down instead of try to stop the guy, had the fortune of not getting hurt, and hopefully, the pleasure of not needing to deal with that same individual again.

But since you bring those quotes up, that makes me feel a lot better knowing my normal process is one that is consonant somewhat with the Law of One philosophy...

Even if I'm still coming to terms with seeing the thief himself in a better light.  I still have moments where my mind wanders tot hat subject and is just like, "ARGH YOU GRARRGGHHHH, YOU JUST GOONE AHH FUUUUUUU--"

Entropy is the proper word, it's just frenzied emotional thoughts collapsing into themselves.  I hope the guy gets caught personally, he truly came off to me bad enough to set off my intuition.  I generally receive past thieves of his type as normal customers.  He literally had my unconscious intuition pinging me all like, 'bad news bad news bad news'.

And I'm oblivious, please believe that.  I do not look at someone and think, 'oh this fu-- is going to just grab something and book it.'  And when they do, all I usually think is, 'typical, please don't come back.'  So when this guy walks in, and my lizard brain is just tapping the back of my brain like, 'bad news bad news bad news'.

Something must be off about that person in some way that had me instinctually on guard.

Not someone you want on the streets per say for the safety of others.

Or maybe I'm just being overtly judgmental.

I don't know, but I'm working on that last part, it's a slow process for me, especially since I don't regularly meditate I don't normally take in those experiences as deeply as I used to.

...Mostly for complete fear, seeing as how I've only come this far from minor meditating in the past, I'm honestly scared of encountering more 'catalyst' of any kind (even over the internet or such) that is worse than what I'm already becoming desensitized too.

Because I'll be honest, I'm desensitized to violence.  The moderators had to point out how graphic my OP was, I didn't even think twice about it (even if I was in an adrenaline rush you'd still think one would be more cautious...Or maybe not I don't know!) and had to edit it a bit.

I've already experienced two separate hellish realities, I've already seen some of the greatest and worst things my mind could handle.  And I'm already so effected and changed by my experiences ever since awakening ONLY A YEAR AGO, that I'm now scared for what lies ahead.  Will I become homeless or have to fight for food?  Will I have to work 50 hour weeks endlessly just to survive or have to deal with my mother suddenly dying or some past affiliate of me or my mom bringing the cops to the house on bogus charges (which leads into an irrational fear of police brutality). (Also a story for later, used to hang with a group of bad people, they think ruining lives is funny so they occasionally call in bogus 'anonymous tips' on people they dislike. My mom was one of those people.)

The future is ripe with strong catalyst awaiting to be triggered and activated from potentiation.

And I can't stop any of it.

So.  It's scary, that properly polarizing consistently or at all with any catalyst but especially 'stronger' catalyst (like this) may be the 'precursor' to ever-stronger catalyst awaiting is, just scary to me.  I already understood that aspect of reality pretty quickly, it's somewhat hell-like as if you know something bad will come your way and you need to treat it good or else something just as bad will happen again giving you another chance when you've polarized to a point ready to receive it, or possibly even not.  Catalyst doesn't stop.

So, accepting this, even though I want to, I don't want more, but even if I don't accept it, I'll get more occurrences like this.

So...I'm trying but the entire way is bogged down with fear of the latent way reality teaches us in 3D.

I guess I'm by that line of reasoning, scared of reality LOL

-sighs-

-sighs more-

I hate being honest sometimes too.  Scared of reality.  -scoffs at self-

[Jade]

One of the tricks to polarity is that if you make the conscious decision to use all of your catalyst in a positive way, it seems much less scary as it's happening. It's also good not to dwell in negative future possibilities/probabilities. One thing that is for sure is that catalyst IS designed to be a surprise, or we wouldn't get anything out of it.

You shouldn't be scared. You are a creator. You had something scary happen and it afforded your a more refined point of view. These are the jewels we seek. Indulging in fear is letting the darkness win. You can refuse to participate in that vibration if you wish.

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

I apparently cannot refuse that vibration.

Part of the Catalytic built in mechanism of Surprise.

Example (he typed with massive dejavu):

Today literally not even 3 hours ago as I'm driving to work, I see a cat on the other side of the road.  It ran across the median right INTO my car!!
And I couldn't stop it! And it just put everything into perspective but only for a moment...

Then everything got really depressing.  I've never hurt an animal physically, and suddenly SURPRISE.  And you feel that energy happen, death.  And its not like a video game death or even like an old person passing on.

Its just horrible.  And sometimes you don't get a choice.

THAT is catalyst.  Everything is catalyst...

Its why I fear its arrival now in the form of people.  Events.  Things.  Phone calls and texts.  And I TRIED to be positive about it but death?  Basic killing?  Murder?  Its catalyst.

I just.  I'm trying to make sense of itbut i think its a bit soon to make sense of killing an animal even if on accident in my car it still.  I just keep thinking I should've braked, I should've braked without thinking the cat would stop at the median like virtually 95% all other fucking cats!

Ugh.  This is what I meant by sometimes free will comes off as illusion.  Im not the one choosing life occurrences.  I'm not. As in this personality, is not in control.  I don't pull myself to run over a cat accidentally on purpose.  I don't pull for my coworkers to find me so reliable they ask me to cover their shifts often on purpose.  I don't pull for random people to come and rob my store while I'm working on purpose.

But apparently my higher/future/bigger self does.

And the veil makes it out as not my pulling when it apparently is.

All because I'm trying to learn...  Learning hurts, sometimes it apparently kills too. . .

This honestly wasn't what I hoped for life becoming like in the future...  Its close...but its not what I actually wanted.

Almost feels like I've been cheated into a game I won't actually like the mechanics of.

Sorry Jade.  But I personally don't fully agree.  Maybe I just don't understand... but so far. I haven't been allowed to leave that vibration of darkness apparently...

[Jade]

That's okay. It's extremely useful.

I can't empathize with the horror of killing a cat with your car, but I almost can. Where I live there are many dozens of feral cats, and when I come home at night, they are often laying in the road, etc. I drive very slowly with my brights on but still there was one night I turned the corner, and this blind, kink-tailed, probably 15 year old cat stumbled out of the bushes and almost right under my tires. It still haunts me when I turn that corner. If I would have killed it, I would have been insanely distraught.

A deer jumped in front of my car 3 nights ago when I was leaving work. That would have been bad, too. Anyway, hitting an animal with my car is a great fear of mine so I understand. I just try to be as aware as possible. I know nothing could have stopped that cat from jumping in front of your car, even a smidgen more awareness. The cat needed to end its incarnation. Your vehicle was there. That is the unemotional reality. How you deal with the catalyst, and how you use it to be of service in the future, is your choice. I know it's a hard one. If the cat was a pet, it offers its owners catalyst, too - maybe next time they keep their cat indoors where it's safer. Or maybe they go out and adopt a new cat at the shelter and save a cat's life because of the death of another. You could do something like this, too, if you wanted to absolve your guilt. Or, if you don't have room for another life in your home, you could sponsor a cat at the shelter so that it can get a new home, something like that. There are many ways to use this catalyst. My friend killed a bunny with her car, and it was the catalyst to make her vegetarian.

As far as being on everyone's speed dial at work, I can relate to that 100%. This is a lesson on getting out of the martyr vibration. You don't have to appear to be the most service to others all the time, or, have to do things in the physical reality to prove you are service to others. Of course, it's still a great service, but if you don't *want* to do it, you're ultimately doing yourself a disservice. What happens with the work thing is you become super reliable, and then when you aren't, people are angry. I'm very familiar with that. You have to learn to say "no". It's okay. You aren't going to slip into the negative polarity. If you really want to help them, great, but if you are sacrificing free time that you don't want to, don't.

You (maybe) didn't ask for this specific catalyst, but the fact remains that you have started down this road on working on consciousness. It's hard to go backwards. You have to keep pushing on through all of the "initiations". These are opportunities where you have a choice. There is usually a spectrum of "right answers" and "wrong answers", as far as whether or not the catalyst will ease up in the near future. Sometimes, time alone can help you find the decision. Mostly, it's the emotional rush that hints to the answer. We're here to play a game. It's a hard and masochistic game, but success is extremely gratifying. Even if it's your Higher self pulling the shots, it isn't going to give you more than it thinks you can handle. You're a tougher cookie than you realize.

I'm not asking you to agree with me, either. I'm just sharing my heart as you share yours, hopefully it will help us both.

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

I've thought on what you've said somewhat.  I actually hope you notice I made a reference of your advice in a post to Aion in another thread referring to my view of Service to All Polarity.  Because I think your advice is right.  It's not wrong to consider yourself too.  Not necessarily consider yourself over others, but rather to respect your limits and availability, just as you would theirs, exactly the same actually.

With the cat...  It's mostly the...Mental images of what it must have looked like from another's perspective looking, or even a closeup view, if not the cat's perspective itself.  It saw me, it stopped half way in the road, looked at me then started running towards the median and never once looked in my direction as it disappeared underneath me.  It's just haunting, very distraught, I took several minutes parked outside my work trying not to freak out in my car before freaking out thinking I had some zombie-tier grade level of guts trailed underneath my car.  Which I didn't, not even any blood, nothing.  My tires aren't even.  Yeah...  So in my mind, I imagine that all happening from the cat's view, right up to my car hitting it, and it's very gruesome to me.  The cold unemotional reality is I splattered an animal a fraction the size of my vehicle effortlessly like it was...Nothing.

It's just so horrible!  It's not nothing!  It shouldn't have died so...meaninglessly.  It was like a suicide.  To be used by another against your will.  Like a straight message regarding my feelings towards Free Will: To deal with it, I am out of control.

I had no chance, no time, by the time my foot pulled off the accelerator it was too late.  I didn't even put my foot back down I just froze up.

That's the...Sort of reality I feel like I'm in sometimes, Jade.  Feels like I'm out of control and less than nothing cares, like it's all a game and I'm, literally, just a board piece.  It's sometimes to the point I'd call Hellish like sometimes in my mind.  Like patiently being forced to await the next Surprise, will it be nice, will it be mean?  Find out next time on Dragonball Z!

Comedic relief.  But seriously sometimes it's ridiculous, it's not an anxiety attack, it's not extreme paranoia or fear, it's like someone looking at you with sinister amusement, it's closer to despair I guess.  Just putting all the pieces together within the apparently small reality my 'infinite' mind can fathom to make a barely logically plausible system of how reality actually mechanically operates from the metaphysical to physical levels from energy to matter, and realizing there are things missing, without answers, that create somewhat odd implications sometimes ranging from cute to horrific.  Cute is when you can see how another being treats another and immediately recognize the underlying tensions or issues that might exist.  Horrific is realizing logical fallacies exist in the information provided subsequently side by side in the provided explanations of that information that point to two potentials typically if not many more.

I do not believe personally that my Higher self is in anyway a monster or indifferent.  I really doubt I'll ever find myself in a reality of chaotic horror filled with death and extreme suffering (HIGHLY doubt it, but still worry), and I'm pretty sure all of my confusions will be healed and figured out when my incarnation finally ends, and I'm actually more than sure but positive, that 3D is not in anyway nearly as bad as the many ways I conceive it to be.

However, I see many do actually live in those realities of War and Hell, I see lots of things on a Worldly view, and while there is so much good that in a sense outnumbers the bad.  The bad sometimes seems so much more intense than the good even though there's less of it.  And I get that it's all experiences, not actually anything more beyond 'happenings' but it's real enough to me and I'm aware of it.  Others don't even fathom it.  What must a dark life look like to them?  Despair with a fear strong enough to keep them from death to continually despair, dragging the self deeper into horror from the outer to the inner universe causing further horror in the outer universe.  There are many who can't do it, who can't manage it.  I just don't understand, how did that happen?  I was told no one receives more than they can handle, the facts do not support that query upon consensus reality, it is essentially a lie then in my mind.

Meaning what else is a lie?  Now I just, leave it behind?

My problem is I want to explain this bad to others, and then be able to still bridge them to the other side, the one where that 'shalln't recieve more than can handle' distortion is upheld because free will wise no will is broken, the suicide is a lesson and choice as well to experience from, everything is okay in the end no matter what.

But there's, a lot of seriousness to traverse to create that bridge.  So I have to be serious, when I think about these things, then I need to approach that seriousness with openness and calmness, and attempt to be more positive and less nihilistic about it.
I do that simply because if I can simply explain these things to others who are suffering, maybe it can literally be the light-beacon to pull them up and get them to help themselves, a showing of the door through empathy in ways that are considered direct and helpful without being...Insulting.  Just a relating with.

I find it's very hard to do for many so I need to find a way to reach more than the few.  Understanding their pain even in small ways helps a bit.

I'm just hanging in there I guess, losing my mind along the way but I have been for a year now LOL
Thank you for the help, it's greatly appreciated and has been very useful for me so far

[Aion]

I've killed probably hundreds of entities and thought-forms in this life, most of which crossed the boundaries of free will and wished harm upon myself or others. Others I have sent to positive time/space zones to heal. Others have willingly transmuted their spirits and repolarized. War is in my nature, much of my 'magic' and influence works through visualization of combat.

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

Hmm, Aion, why do you war?  Whats the point of warring endlessly?

[Aion]

Everything is endless. Why make peace?

I war because it is desired. I war because there is a cry for freedom. Most importantly, I war because there is war.

You may find it paradoxical to think that I find the most peace in battle, it is when my fight comes out that I am filled with joy and excitement. It is when things get difficult and intense that you will see a smile on my face.

Keep in mind, the nature of war is never beginning and never ending. War is the process of reconciliation. The whole nature of polarity is one of war and peace until in 6D they become the same thing.

You ask me, why do I war? Because it is part of who I am and who I have been and I honour that. I fight for the freedom of this planet. Many will say there is no need to fight, no need for war, no need for conflict. I say, birth is war, living is war, every breath you take is a conflict.

The peace is in accepting this. In realizing that all of reality is at war, and all of reality contains peace. I have simply found these to be the same thing.

If I were to put it down to the simplest thought, I would say, 'because I'm good at it'. You might ask me, why? Much practice over many lives.

Let me ask you then, why do you run from war?

[Minyatur]

Let me ask you then, why do you run from war?

In my case to not make enemies, I'd rather see everyone as a friend or a brother/sister of the order and chaos of which we emerged.

[Minyatur]

Short 3D example : During my first semeters of University, my parents couldn't understand why I didn't want to vote for whether or not we would do a strike. I personally did not want the strike to happen for myself but neither did I want to prevent others from wanting it, so I simply did not vote and contently went along with what happened with each voting session.

That is kinda how I approach pretty much every aspect of my life when confronted to other-selves.

[Aion]

War isn't about making enemies, it's not about enemies at all. What we see around the world is not war as I know it, it's slaughter, exploitation and black ops. It is true that the same tactics have always been used, but at one point in time there was good reason to fight. War used to be something which was represented by honour, about skill and abilities. It has always also been about deception, manipulation and crossing the line. There is a reason, however, that there are 'war crimes'. Not all fighting is war and not all war is malicious.

War is the defining identity of the human race because the human race wars with themselves, with their own identity. I have simply embodied that for many thousands of years. I am actually transcending from my position as a deity of war and the position will be passed on to a new individual who will take the energies of war and temper them to take shape in a new way for this era. Who can say if it will become a war of bodies, such as was fed this last cycle, or a war in some other manner. Not all war means good versus evil, just keep that in mind. Sometimes good wars with good and evil with evil.

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

Heh. Thank you for the explanation but I meant, why in the broadest sense.

So to actually make that more clear, may I ask why you handle war as you've said you do?