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Minyatur · (This post was last modified: 05-27-2015, 01:11 PM by Minyatur.)

Well who do you blame? The One? Because the One is the only thing that choses and that suffers.

I do agree in a way with what you're saying. I've said multiple times : "Why was nothingness not well?", it was very much in this sense. But yeah stupid Creator wanted to know Itself...

The only thing actual Free Will implies is that the Creator will know Itself. That means that He will go through anything He creates. From a Creator's perspective, the whole of reality is nothing but a dream projection you create for yourself to interact with. So why is sufferings justifiable? Well it is not necessarily but we created sufferings without doubt else we would not experience it.

What we are told is that each portion of the Creator will grow in awareness toward unconditionnal Love and then move on to the Greater Orders, existence is an infinite adventure that never stops changing shape into more and more glorious ways. Without sufferings the Creator would be lacking and it is a small frame of infinity.

About how you feel toward yourself, I may propose that your feelings are not of your current 3D ego but rather something you channel from your higher self. You've done things and hurted yourself and were in need of healing. 3D is an indirect way to heal ourselves. All of these feelings that you hate might be much more worse and of much bigger proportion if you were not asleep down here. What if this hellish life actually weights less than your existence unveiled? Would you still think it is pointless?

Minyatur · (This post was last modified: 05-27-2015, 01:12 PM by Minyatur.)

As harsh as 3D looks like, to the higher self it is the of the same nature as sleeping. A tormated soul's dreams are nightmares but even then, it sleeps because it needs rest.

AnthroHeart · 05-27-2015, 01:20 PM

(05-27-2015, 01:08 PM)Minyatur Wrote: The only thing actual Free Will implies is that the Creator will know Itself. That means that He will go through anything He creates. From a Creator's perspective, the whole of reality is nothing but a dream projection you create for yourself to interact with. So why is sufferings justifiable? Well it is not necessarily but we created sufferings without doubt else we would not experience it.

By reality are you talking just about our incarnation, or about the whole Octave?

AnthroHeart · 05-27-2015, 01:22 PM

(05-27-2015, 01:11 PM)Minyatur Wrote: As harsh as 3D looks like, to the higher self it is the of the same nature as sleeping. A tormated soul's dreams are nightmares but even then, it sleeps because it needs rest.

Even in my dreams I feel physical pain. But extreme pain seems rather inappropriate (couldn't think of a better word). People shouldn't be able to be tortured.

VanAlioSaldo · 05-27-2015, 02:00 PM

But for the sake of every other seeker on this path...

I see now that Suicide isn't an answer. You will just come back... If you want to leave, finish up. After that... Well, I'll probably disintegrate myself to a different aspect of creation, something more akin to UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, and not...Hell sold as Heaven. If I can, because if I am part of an Infinite Creator that believes this is the way...

I'd rather be gone as a consciousness altogether, Human, Soul or otherwise. It is truly horrifying from this perspective I have beyond any imaginable reason for any of this to need or have to happen. Then to be told it is desired...

I...Can't...Imagine.

I think I'm losing my mind literally, all of this is almost a fanciful packaged lie from this perspective, while up there it's all fun and games and laughs. But down here, real horror and suffering, but offering some love will help, and light...But, not real, actual 3D love. Not...Real, 3D level stuff. Just...

Invisible...Energy. That works...

I can't believe in anything the higher says, if this is the justification. I can't...Believe we...Allow this...alll to happen...

I just. Am beyond shocked. I can't not see it all. I can't get the thought of it, how everyone's experiences. Together it's beyond worse.

I truly as just disturbed now. I think I need to re-evaluate this Ra Material and look for the 15% incorrect areas because they seem to be possibly placed in very precise ways as to really, really screw some people up. Because there is no way this density is the density of desire. A gross ignorance of Human Perspective is blatantly obvious, right down to Journey of Souls excerpt where a soul even describes an infant struggling but eventually giving in to its appearance.

So. Everyone. Truly, please consider what you have backed yourselves behind. The inherent horror that lies in the reality of the System the Ra Material lays out is all right here in 3D, and hinted to continue with 4D and 5D, but at 2D you're already beginning to partake in the methodical system of teaching you suffering... The whole picture is literally suffering, purposeful suffering. Desired, wanted, suffering.

To learn how to love...? I can think of much more efficient better methods overall as I am right now, Human-wise. I imagine as even a 3D soul or 6D one I'd be able to devise a better method that was more efficient than this current one, unless this is literally the only, best method available, I am just abhorred.

Even a slight slip in the Veil for everyone, a dream once in a while, an odd unexplainable occurrence, but clear, and direct, not spiritual, but personal. Instead, nothing. Dreams that we can't make sense of. Catalyst we have no knowledge of. Horrible things, being planned out. I once read an NDE about a soul that coaxed her human self to fall off a moving carriage to cripple herself, as planned. It was. Most of such NDE's too that talk about future knowledge from the soul perspective is, blatantly ignorant of the experiences being done to the human shell.

Which still also brings up my prior discussion I posted a few weeks earlier regarding Orange-Ray, Human Body Death, and if the Self-Aware Mind Complex of the Human also just ceases into unawareness.

This universe isn't what I've been told it is...

Minyatur Wrote:Well who do you blame? The One? Because the One is the only thing that choses and that suffers.

I do agree in a way with what you're saying. I've said multiple times : "Why was nothingness not well?", it was very much in this sense. But yeah stupid Creator wanted to know Itself...

The only thing actual Free Will implies is that the Creator will know Itself. That means that He will go through anything He creates. From a Creator's perspective, the whole of reality is nothing but a dream projection you create for yourself to interact with. So why is sufferings justifiable? Well it is not necessarily but we created sufferings without doubt else we would not experience it.

What we are told is that each portion of the Creator will grow in awareness toward unconditionnal Love and then move on to the Greater Orders, existence is an infinite adventure that never stops changing shape into more and more glorious ways. Without sufferings the Creator would be lacking and it is a small frame of infinity.

About how you feel toward yourself, I may propose that your feelings are not of your current 3D ego but rather something you channel from your higher self. You've done things and hurted yourself and were in need of healing. 3D is an indirect way to heal ourselves. All of these feelings that you hate might be much more worse and of much bigger proportion if you were not asleep down here. What if this hellish life actually weights less than your existence unveiled? Would you still think it is pointless?

Please understand, this still dodges the point that the universe inflicts suffering on an entire level of existence without any actual consent from that actual level of existence from the standpoint of...That level of existence's Inhabitants, like, Human's who are aware, of this picture, who see something veiled very fancifully, but when you look under the cover it's got a bit of a secret everyone is kind of hush-hush or blatantly acts as if it's no big deal about. That is torturing Human Beings for their own selfish goals of evolution. That isn't Unconditionally Loving, or consonant of Free Will. It isn't even remotely Loving, it is by essence the most Selfish thing once can do, is parasitically utilize another to gain at their loss.

As far as I'm concerned about my soul and higher self, and my reason's for being here, it's all irrelevant until someone can explain why I should cooperate with my 'higher desires' when they have no actual love or care for what they are doing to me!? I'm going to be having a long, and very, very, very adamant discussion with the way of things, and if it turns out I'm the way I hate, then I will truly, hopefully, consider leaving this place and truly consider changing what/who I am, where I am, and everything. I literally feel like I am bathing in...Horror, like I will forever be changed in a terrible and unforgiving way by continuing to be here just simply by the aspect of my personality alone.

As I have said, this is not what I desire, in any way, shape, or form. That I have lost the will to live should be apparent of that, yet I'm forced to live, or else, so I now know I can't just opt out that way because I'll end right back up here, going through it all, again.

Don't misunderstand. It is not that I do not understand that some actually do want this. I just don't understand how I'm supposed to buy this story of love when the entire cosmos is using my level of existence like an experiment and pet lab to torment and enjoy suffering?? If there are souls who want this, cool. But if some souls resonate here, but don't actually desire to be here, or if some human's don't desire to put up with the LITERALLY, LIFE, RUINING, ISSUES, of this crap! But are FORCED to.

How. How and Why should I even dare begin to look at that with a pinch of love, and accept it just...AS. IS?

It is no different from looking at God puncturing Oneself with Love in a crippling way, in order that when he dies, he'll be better not realizing that the Human had dreams. A Life and Goals. Desires of its own, that didn't seem to align with the Souls, resulting in punishment. I mean. Catalyst...

It is literally only from 3D that this perspective can be met it seems, all others seem to truly just accept it as is. Which I don't know if I should believe it is actually out of Love, or if I am truly in a Hell Universe where they package such as Heaven.

And you know what, I honestly feel like that guy in that Stephen King movie 1408, who is trapped inside Hell, but is outside, but still inside Hell. I am here. I can't leave. I will be tortured. I will be in pain. I will suffer. My dreams do not matter. My desires are pointless. MY wants are ignored. I'm here to suffer, not to learn to love. That comes after. Those with the will to pull themselves out of the horror and learn along the way to accelerate their speedy escape out of Hell have extra punishment dished at them and if they fail, they are indifferently treated. Those who love get surprises and suddenly, here's Hell!

But we're all souls in a relatively locked location in Time/Space (Sounds like room 1408...) and we are here in Space/time being tormented.

I seriously have seen and know people who would attribute the theme of their life to Everything Ruined.

I am so disturbed...Let people be as they will be. If I desire to leave as a Human Being, my Free Will should be met with the Unconditional Love I thought it was supposed to be met with, not indifference. I loved this place as best I could and it instead hurt me endlessly, and then said I was the issue, it's my fault, and everything I can blame on myself for my life turning out the way it did.

I looked at the Universe after it did that, and believe me, I looked. I looked at my entire World. I looked as best I could and read and listened. I can't say I know anything. But I think I can say. I don't like this to the very core, I do not resonate. I do not. I want to leave. This place is not heaven, nor desirable. I would never desire even a modicum of what this world has done to just a few people around me, never mind the other 8 billion frickin people!

And as I said, if they want that then so be it. But if someone opts out, I think that should be a valid means of incarnation ending, not just, oh you gave up, I don't care if it's hell, go back or else you can't move forward.

Unconditionally Loving? For Evolution?

Something is very, very, very wrong here.

Minyatur · 05-27-2015, 02:16 PM

(05-27-2015, 01:20 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote:
(05-27-2015, 01:08 PM)Minyatur Wrote: The only thing actual Free Will implies is that the Creator will know Itself. That means that He will go through anything He creates. From a Creator's perspective, the whole of reality is nothing but a dream projection you create for yourself to interact with. So why is sufferings justifiable? Well it is not necessarily but we created sufferings without doubt else we would not experience it.

By reality are you talking just about our incarnation, or about the whole Octave?

There is but One dreamer, anything that is not full awareness of the One Dreamer of Itself.

AnthroHeart · 05-27-2015, 02:30 PM

(05-27-2015, 02:00 PM)VanAlioSaldo Wrote: And as I said, if they want that then so be it. But if someone opts out, I think that should be a valid means of incarnation ending, not just, oh you gave up, I don't care if it's hell, go back or else you can't move forward.

Unconditionally Loving? For Evolution?

Something is very, very, very wrong here.

Couldn't agree more.

Minyatur · (This post was last modified: 05-27-2015, 02:38 PM by Minyatur.)

I think Ra hasn't gone through a 3D like our own. His experience is probably what you would seek, a harmonious set of desires which graduate rapidly toward the density of Love. He probably dislike the state of this earth and it challenges him in many ways just like we ourselves are challenged by it. The reason you are here and not in such a world is probably because your inner darkness does not resonate with such a world. To attain positive densities you must first heal yourself, undistort yourself and transmute of all of your inner darkness into light and love.

About your higher desires, they are your past which you may be trying to forget which is also part of those desires (you never get away from them). But to forget works only for a time and once it's purpose is done your awareness of yourself grows. You are not unlike your higher self, you are your higher self in limited awareness of itself. You are confused in a strange world and you know not the depths of your own soul. (This is very true for myself and is a work in progress)

There would be only one alternative to being here and that alternative is nothingness. Beingness implies experience and all experiences are created by us. By not being the Creator could've escaped knowing the darkness He could create. But we did want to be, we wanted to be ourselves and we wanted to be among others.

If I remember correctly you've said you thought you were upon the negative path. Have you thought your higher self may hold partially responsible itself for the state of this world and what you experience is in some way your own self-given retribution? Also as much as you do not want to be here, were you to leave you may simply want to come back once more.

You could say the purpose in term of evolution is that, if this was not, Love would not be known.

AnthroHeart · (This post was last modified: 05-27-2015, 02:47 PM by AnthroHeart.)

I envy Ra. They had 3D so easy. I wish I could have telepathic connection with other selves. I wish I could have hugged the helper when I was at the mental hospital, but he wouldn't let me. I did hug a guy who looked like Jesus though, and I cried.

Minyatur · 05-27-2015, 02:54 PM

(05-27-2015, 02:47 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: I envy Ra. They had 3D so easy. I wish I could have telepathic connection with other selves. I wish I could have hugged the helper when I was at the mental hospital, but he wouldn't let me. I did hug a guy who looked like Jesus though, and I cried.

You are envying yourself, you have experienced both.

Minyatur · (This post was last modified: 05-27-2015, 03:08 PM by Minyatur.)

The concept that separateness is an illusion comes from the fact that we are One awareness of All splitted into multiple unawareness of All. You are all things at all times, but the experiences could not be lived without the awareness being limited to self among other-selves.

The reality we perceive is a projection of inner conflict of the energies of our Logos of some sort. It is like a sea of energitic fluctuations taking the form of images, sounds, etc.

Aion · 05-27-2015, 03:09 PM

(05-27-2015, 02:00 PM)VanAlioSaldo Wrote: But for the sake of every other seeker on this path...

I see now that Suicide isn't an answer. You will just come back... If you want to leave, finish up. After that... Well, I'll probably disintegrate myself to a different aspect of creation, something more akin to UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, and not...Hell sold as Heaven. If I can, because if I am part of an Infinite Creator that believes this is the way...

I'd rather be gone as a consciousness altogether, Human, Soul or otherwise. It is truly horrifying from this perspective I have beyond any imaginable reason for any of this to need or have to happen. Then to be told it is desired...

I...Can't...Imagine.

I think I'm losing my mind literally, all of this is almost a fanciful packaged lie from this perspective, while up there it's all fun and games and laughs. But down here, real horror and suffering, but offering some love will help, and light...But, not real, actual 3D love. Not...Real, 3D level stuff. Just...

Invisible...Energy. That works...

I can't believe in anything the higher says, if this is the justification. I can't...Believe we...Allow this...alll to happen...

I just. Am beyond shocked. I can't not see it all. I can't get the thought of it, how everyone's experiences. Together it's beyond worse.

I truly as just disturbed now. I think I need to re-evaluate this Ra Material and look for the 15% incorrect areas because they seem to be possibly placed in very precise ways as to really, really screw some people up. Because there is no way this density is the density of desire. A gross ignorance of Human Perspective is blatantly obvious, right down to Journey of Souls excerpt where a soul even describes an infant struggling but eventually giving in to its appearance.

So. Everyone. Truly, please consider what you have backed yourselves behind. The inherent horror that lies in the reality of the System the Ra Material lays out is all right here in 3D, and hinted to continue with 4D and 5D, but at 2D you're already beginning to partake in the methodical system of teaching you suffering... The whole picture is literally suffering, purposeful suffering. Desired, wanted, suffering.

To learn how to love...? I can think of much more efficient better methods overall as I am right now, Human-wise. I imagine as even a 3D soul or 6D one I'd be able to devise a better method that was more efficient than this current one, unless this is literally the only, best method available, I am just abhorred.

Even a slight slip in the Veil for everyone, a dream once in a while, an odd unexplainable occurrence, but clear, and direct, not spiritual, but personal. Instead, nothing. Dreams that we can't make sense of. Catalyst we have no knowledge of. Horrible things, being planned out. I once read an NDE about a soul that coaxed her human self to fall off a moving carriage to cripple herself, as planned. It was. Most of such NDE's too that talk about future knowledge from the soul perspective is, blatantly ignorant of the experiences being done to the human shell.

Which still also brings up my prior discussion I posted a few weeks earlier regarding Orange-Ray, Human Body Death, and if the Self-Aware Mind Complex of the Human also just ceases into unawareness.

This universe isn't what I've been told it is...

Minyatur Wrote:Well who do you blame? The One? Because the One is the only thing that choses and that suffers.

I do agree in a way with what you're saying. I've said multiple times : "Why was nothingness not well?", it was very much in this sense. But yeah stupid Creator wanted to know Itself...

The only thing actual Free Will implies is that the Creator will know Itself. That means that He will go through anything He creates. From a Creator's perspective, the whole of reality is nothing but a dream projection you create for yourself to interact with. So why is sufferings justifiable? Well it is not necessarily but we created sufferings without doubt else we would not experience it.

What we are told is that each portion of the Creator will grow in awareness toward unconditionnal Love and then move on to the Greater Orders, existence is an infinite adventure that never stops changing shape into more and more glorious ways. Without sufferings the Creator would be lacking and it is a small frame of infinity.

About how you feel toward yourself, I may propose that your feelings are not of your current 3D ego but rather something you channel from your higher self. You've done things and hurted yourself and were in need of healing. 3D is an indirect way to heal ourselves. All of these feelings that you hate might be much more worse and of much bigger proportion if you were not asleep down here. What if this hellish life actually weights less than your existence unveiled? Would you still think it is pointless?

Please understand, this still dodges the point that the universe inflicts suffering on an entire level of existence without any actual consent from that actual level of existence from the standpoint of...That level of existence's Inhabitants, like, Human's who are aware, of this picture, who see something veiled very fancifully, but when you look under the cover it's got a bit of a secret everyone is kind of hush-hush or blatantly acts as if it's no big deal about. That is torturing Human Beings for their own selfish goals of evolution. That isn't Unconditionally Loving, or consonant of Free Will. It isn't even remotely Loving, it is by essence the most Selfish thing once can do, is parasitically utilize another to gain at their loss.

As far as I'm concerned about my soul and higher self, and my reason's for being here, it's all irrelevant until someone can explain why I should cooperate with my 'higher desires' when they have no actual love or care for what they are doing to me!? I'm going to be having a long, and very, very, very adamant discussion with the way of things, and if it turns out I'm the way I hate, then I will truly, hopefully, consider leaving this place and truly consider changing what/who I am, where I am, and everything. I literally feel like I am bathing in...Horror, like I will forever be changed in a terrible and unforgiving way by continuing to be here just simply by the aspect of my personality alone.

As I have said, this is not what I desire, in any way, shape, or form. That I have lost the will to live should be apparent of that, yet I'm forced to live, or else, so I now know I can't just opt out that way because I'll end right back up here, going through it all, again.

Don't misunderstand. It is not that I do not understand that some actually do want this. I just don't understand how I'm supposed to buy this story of love when the entire cosmos is using my level of existence like an experiment and pet lab to torment and enjoy suffering?? If there are souls who want this, cool. But if some souls resonate here, but don't actually desire to be here, or if some human's don't desire to put up with the LITERALLY, LIFE, RUINING, ISSUES, of this crap! But are FORCED to.

How. How and Why should I even dare begin to look at that with a pinch of love, and accept it just...AS. IS?

It is no different from looking at God puncturing Oneself with Love in a crippling way, in order that when he dies, he'll be better not realizing that the Human had dreams. A Life and Goals. Desires of its own, that didn't seem to align with the Souls, resulting in punishment. I mean. Catalyst...

It is literally only from 3D that this perspective can be met it seems, all others seem to truly just accept it as is. Which I don't know if I should believe it is actually out of Love, or if I am truly in a Hell Universe where they package such as Heaven.

And you know what, I honestly feel like that guy in that Stephen King movie 1408, who is trapped inside Hell, but is outside, but still inside Hell. I am here. I can't leave. I will be tortured. I will be in pain. I will suffer. My dreams do not matter. My desires are pointless. MY wants are ignored. I'm here to suffer, not to learn to love. That comes after. Those with the will to pull themselves out of the horror and learn along the way to accelerate their speedy escape out of Hell have extra punishment dished at them and if they fail, they are indifferently treated. Those who love get surprises and suddenly, here's Hell!

But we're all souls in a relatively locked location in Time/Space (Sounds like room 1408...) and we are here in Space/time being tormented.

I seriously have seen and know people who would attribute the theme of their life to Everything Ruined.

I am so disturbed...Let people be as they will be. If I desire to leave as a Human Being, my Free Will should be met with the Unconditional Love I thought it was supposed to be met with, not indifference. I loved this place as best I could and it instead hurt me endlessly, and then said I was the issue, it's my fault, and everything I can blame on myself for my life turning out the way it did.

I looked at the Universe after it did that, and believe me, I looked. I looked at my entire World. I looked as best I could and read and listened. I can't say I know anything. But I think I can say. I don't like this to the very core, I do not resonate. I do not. I want to leave. This place is not heaven, nor desirable. I would never desire even a modicum of what this world has done to just a few people around me, never mind the other 8 billion frickin people!

And as I said, if they want that then so be it. But if someone opts out, I think that should be a valid means of incarnation ending, not just, oh you gave up, I don't care if it's hell, go back or else you can't move forward.

Unconditionally Loving? For Evolution?

Something is very, very, very wrong here.

So leave then. Do you want sympathy for your suffering? Empathy? To be told that you're right and everything is wrong and we're all f***** and there is no hope? Want me to feed your nihilism a little bit?

Lighthead · 05-27-2015, 03:51 PM

(05-27-2015, 03:09 PM)Tan.rar Wrote: So leave then. Do you want sympathy for your suffering? Empathy? To be told that you're right and everything is wrong and we're all f***** and there is no hope? Want me to feed your nihilism a little bit?

*Jumps out the window.*

Aion · 05-27-2015, 03:57 PM

I know that probably sounds really harsh, but it just seems like his attitude is "everything is wrong, nothing is right, nothing can be fixed, I don't want to do it, let me leave" and either that's a call for help or it's nihilistic.

Lighthead · 05-27-2015, 04:06 PM

(05-27-2015, 03:57 PM)Tan.rar Wrote: I know that probably sounds really harsh, but it just seems like his attitude is "everything is wrong, nothing is right, nothing can be fixed, I don't want to do it, let me leave" and either that's a call for help or it's nihilistic.

Even if it were a call for help, what could we do? He's over there and we're over here.

Aion · 05-27-2015, 04:20 PM

Well, speaking to VanAlioSado all I can say is, where do you go from here? You have acknowledged your displeasure with your life, what are you going to do with that awareness of yourself? The way I see it, you can either fall away from it, or rise to meet it. Nobody said it would be easy, but will it be worth it? I fully believe so, having been at death's door more than once myself. Yet, each time, he rejects me.

Minyatur · 05-27-2015, 04:28 PM

(05-27-2015, 04:20 PM)Tan.rar Wrote: Well, speaking to VanAlioSado all I can say is, where do you go from here? You have acknowledged your displeasure with your life, what are you going to do with that awareness of yourself? The way I see it, you can either fall away from it, or rise to meet it. Nobody said it would be easy, but will it be worth it? I fully believe so, having been at death's door more than once myself. Yet, each time, he rejects me.

We seem alike yet opposite in our incarnations.

Aion · 05-27-2015, 04:38 PM

Well it wouldn't make sense to have two of one of us.

Lighthead · 05-27-2015, 04:42 PM

(05-27-2015, 04:38 PM)Tan.rar Wrote: Well it wouldn't make sense to have two of one of us.

*Minyatur dies.*

Aion · 05-27-2015, 05:12 PM

I meant more that is why we are not identical. Tongue

Minyatur · (This post was last modified: 05-27-2015, 05:25 PM by Minyatur.)

(05-27-2015, 05:12 PM)Tan.rar Wrote: I meant more that is why we are not identical.

We could be "not identical" in many ways, yet I guess it needs to be a purposeful one.

AnthroHeart · 05-27-2015, 05:41 PM

(05-27-2015, 05:12 PM)Tan.rar Wrote: I meant more that is why we are not identical.

You think I could handle the freakiest things you've gone through?

Aion · 05-27-2015, 05:48 PM

(05-27-2015, 05:41 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote:
(05-27-2015, 05:12 PM)Tan.rar Wrote: I meant more that is why we are not identical.

You think I could handle the freakiest things you've gone through?

Tough call, some things are freaky to one but not to another. I have experienced some pretty freaky things. I have swam many times through the morbid abyss of my consciousness.

AnthroHeart · 05-27-2015, 05:52 PM

The freakiest thing was peaking into the previous Octave. It shook my head like if someone violently shook my head. It was real disturbing.

Also once saw what appeared to be two ghosts. They didn't move, but did freak me out.

And twice thought I was getting sucked into the core of a star to burn.

Your experience sound fascinating.

Aion · 05-27-2015, 05:55 PM

I've experienced a lot of deaths, like, a LOT of deaths, in so many different ways.

I think the freakiest is when I encounter negative versions of myself and we face off. There is always some nervousness in the awareness that it is something I could become. Although, I did have a particular initiatory experience where I lived and experienced the crucifixion and it was like I had no control over my body. I have had stigmata-like experiences.

Minyatur · 05-27-2015, 05:57 PM

My initiatory experience was being filled with light and love.

AnthroHeart · (This post was last modified: 05-27-2015, 05:57 PM by AnthroHeart.)

If there was pain that would freak me out too.

But I did have a dream of a creepy pain machine/chamber that was going to trap me in it.

Dying does disturb me to an extent, but not death.

Aion · 05-27-2015, 05:59 PM

I have experience dying I should say then. You are aware death doesn't happening without dying?

I have had a lot of very painful experiences, I have been possessed on numerous occasions and experienced terrifying insanity, deep depression and been on the verge of suicide. I have been hounded by shadows and had to fight for my very soul. I am a dramatic entity it seems. The thing is, I don't think I could make my life less bizarre even if I tried.

AnthroHeart · 05-27-2015, 06:02 PM

I talked with a shaman once that got lost in a nowhere dark place for like 2 weeks it seemed to her.

Aion · 05-27-2015, 06:03 PM

Yeah, I've had the eternal abyss type of experience, just, nothingness.

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