Talk to yourself, write to yourself: Instant channeling

[Adonai One]

If entities exist, they will inspire your inherent speaking when you speak to yourself with a great intent to seek. Just "channel" your goddamn self.

If I can attest towards anything resolutely on this forum: Names are not existing, there is no Confederation, there is no Ra, there is only all being all in silence and emptiness, only true unity without separation of any kind.

This is where my work now lies. I don't care if the soul nor spirits exist: I deal in this stuff because its useful in balancing my intellect while making money and realizing that money doesn't really matter at all. I've gotten paranormal stuff from all this hoodoo voodoo new age crap but the true treasure is just an empty mind that is self-actualized. I'm done with the esoteric.

I don't believe in spirits anymore. I just believe this stuff is an interesting tool. I'll speak of Ra and The Confederation as existing when I've called them towards Earth in physical bodies in a tested and solved hypothesis, clearly defined. That's Science. That's worthwhile. This metaphysical crystal crap without any real form or function? Fodder only worthwhile as inspiration for your own internal, meditative work.

Identity is not contingent so much on naming but so much on that infinite diversity of life can be perceived within unity: A paradox that still screams towards it all being one being, a being of many masks yet one.

[vervex]

While I tend to agree with the sentiment of the first part about unity, emptiness and names being a labeling device used to navigate our dense world, I find myself compelled to call out some of the, erm, bullshit, I see written right after.

It seems to me that you are quick to publicly throw rocks at everything "spiritual" or "esoteric" as you cling to certainties (or what you naively call "science"). Allow me to explain: "This metaphysical crystal crap" is a bundle of phenomena which you cannot explain and, therefore, when faced with your lack of knowledge of this "hoodoo voodoo new age crap", you reject it vehemently as you cannot accept the uncertainty of those methods which are, to you, intangible and undefined. I hate to break it to you (no, wait, I actually enjoy this in a way), but all methods are intangible and undefined.

You are also very quick to judge and put labels on other people's beliefs for a man that said a moment ago that "names are not existing, [...] there is only all being all in silence and emptiness, only true unity without separation of any kind".

You claim to work through faith one moment, but the next you throw it all away and cling to your "scientific method" which supposedly consists of tested and solved hypothesis, "clearly defined"... But "names are not existing", blah blah blah... What were you saying again about absolute uncertainty, emptiness and unity?

And because you constantly contradict yourself, dear love, I feel the need to come here and call out your crap. Because you are so quick to attempt to justify your insecurities in public, I come here and humbly propose that you are afraid, very afraid in fact, of the unknown, and you fail to make a choice, constantly at war within your own mind on these matters.

Truly you are a spiritual man, a man of faith. Yet you judge and condemn yourself for it. Time to shed these judgements and remove some of the sticks you've got shoved up your ass, dear. I say this in love and only because you've deliberately posted this contradictory essay online for everyone to see.

Best of luck to you. I'll be by your side.

[Adonai One]

In order to make things undefined as all inherently is, empty, one must be able to do work that brings one to a state of undefined: Science does that (e.g. proven meditative practice); Scripture enables one to clean one's anus after they use the bathroom.

I bet on the instrumental scientific method of testing constantly without clinging to concepts of true or false because I never have to cling to a potential truth or potential change in truth: It's just all practical, utilitarian seeking for the present moment, not metaphysical "ascension" based on feelings of externalizing oneself in fictional deities.

Public admission: "Spirits" have been a somewhat useful apparition in my mind and the mind of my wife but because they look like "spirits" doesn't mean we aren't just working with archetypal inquiry of patterns in our mind, which is the nature of making things more clearly undefined and empty: Unifying them with our original nature.

[APeacefulWarrior]

I find myself wondering why you hang around here, if you consider Ra's ideas to be, in so many words, bullshit. I see other posts from you lately pushing that same idea. Does it amuse you to attempt to poison the well, so to speak?

Also, it's interesting that you define meditation as being scientifically proven, when it's not. A few spikes on an EEG don't prove anything causally, and they also say nothing directly about the personal subjective experience of meditation which cannot be objectively documented. Nor do you substantiate in any particular way your belief that science somehow leads to emptiness. Scientific positivism, as you express, is not emptiness. The emptiness you seek is every bit as unproven/unprovable as you claim Ra's ideas to be.

By proclaiming science above Ra in this fashion, you're merely holding one belief system above another while using rhetoric to claim these are matters of fact. For that matter, it's also hard to reconcile your claim to have rejected the true/false dichotomy, given how willing you are to proclaim scripture to be useless as anything but toilet paper.

Personally, it seems like you're simply trolling so you can use conflict as a way of pretending your arguments are substantiated. Which is, of course, also in no way representative of either Oneness OR Emptiness.

[Adonai One]

-A man envisioning spirits is obviously experiencing mental mechanisms of coping with the uncertainty of existence

-A man envisioning spirits is obviously receiving spiritual, magical help in coping with the uncertainty of existence.

-A man envisioning things is obviously experiencing mental mechanisms or a spiritual, magical experience to cope with the uncertainty of existence.

I seek to be without things. I hope to see others without things, words, mind as a sense of peace.

I consider all words bullshit.

According to Webster's Dictionary, advocates of instrumentalism held "a conception that the significant factor of a thing is its value as an instrument, ... the doctrine that ideas [theories] are instruments of action and that their usefulness determines their truth."

I am an instrumentalist, not a positivist.

[APeacefulWarrior]

I seek to be without things. I hope to see others without things, words, mind as a sense of peace.

Then I can only hope you one day see how terms like "obviously" and "hoodoo voodoo new age crap" directly contradict this ideal. Phrasing your arguments in such heavy-handed, self-righteous, and provocative ways is pretty much the opposite of what you say you want to achieve.

And that still doesn't address the question of why you're hanging around arguing with people you know will largely disagree on these matters. If you truly seek this thingless emptiness, why are you not off being tranquilly nonverbal with other Zen types?

[Adonai One]

I've been through a lot of intense social trauma in my life and going through these motions, as one would take water from the well (rather than poison it), helps release social dependencies and attachments. Mysteriously, I can't help but to have compassion towards those who cling to spiritual ideals above themselves: I find it to be a form of enslavement. Perhaps my compassion is misplaced but I still release this attachment so I may be in balance.

The imaginary spirits in my head tell me that I feel an inherent desire to teach "as I came here to do." My teaching comes in the form of great internalization of the self towards emptiness, The Law of Pantimonarchy.

[APeacefulWarrior]

Mysteriously, I can't help but to have compassion towards those who cling to spiritual ideals above themselves: I find it to be a form of enslavement. Perhaps my compassion is misplaced but I still release this attachment so I may be in balance.

Interesting. So you choose to cling to and profess a higher ideal while attacking others who have similar higher ideals. Are you certain that you're not simply attacking your own beliefs by proxy?

After all, people tend to most strongly fault others for displaying the traits this most dislike in themselves. The way you dismiss the beliefs of people in this
forum as crap, while putting forward equally unprovable and "magical" ideals, would certainly suggest this is happening.

It's very unlikely that you will find either Oneness OR Emptiness by provoking confrontation in this fashion. If you cannot BE the change you wish to see - rather than faulting others for having failed to achieve it - it's likely that you will struggle to ever achieve that change.

[Adonai One]

Do you understand that I am not even fighting for anything here? You and everyone else here can remain unchanged and I would still be unphased, content, understand? I'm just going through the motions, watching my body move in needlessly complex ways. I don't have to be here, I have no cause to fulfill, I cling to nothing! I just let my body do whatever it wants so it may calm itself.

I literally do not believe in a thing in my system other than what is inherently believed in its biology. I'm just a rabid animal on here releasing traumas. None of this is necessary, as Ra claimed, and I know it. I'm just observing, enjoying your presence and your misunderstanding of why I am here.

You're wasting your energy if you hope to even remotely phase me. Many have tried to make me attach myself to themselves for years, while becoming unconscious: I have yet to commit such submission. None here have convinced me of anything except of their original nature and beauty.

[vervex]

Mysteriously, I can't help but to have compassion towards those who cling to spiritual ideals above themselves: I find it to be a form of enslavement. Perhaps my compassion is misplaced but I still release this attachment so I may be in balance.

Interesting.   So you choose to cling to and profess a higher ideal while attacking others who have similar higher ideals.  Are you certain that you're not simply attacking your own beliefs by proxy?

After all,  people tend to most strongly fault others for displaying the traits this most dislike in themselves.  The way you dismiss the beliefs of people in this
forum as crap,  while putting forward equally unprovable and "magical" ideals,  would certainly suggest this is happening.

It's very unlikely that you will find either Oneness OR Emptiness by provoking confrontation in this fashion.  If you cannot BE the change you wish to see - rather than faulting others for having failed to achieve it -  it's likely that you will struggle to ever achieve that change.

I love this reply. Can I hug you? It's beautifully written, plus it's pretty respectful and without hate, insults or the like. Love.

Do you understand that I am not even fighting for anything here? You and everyone else here can remain unchanged and I would still be unphased, content, understand? I'm just going through the motions, watching my body move in needlessly complex ways. I don't have to be here, I have no cause to fulfill, I cling to nothing! I just let my body do whatever it wants so it may calm itself.

Indeed, you are fighting yourself. You come here to fight against yourself in a public setting. At least you are aware of it to an extent.

[APeacefulWarrior]

In other words, you're trolling because you have a lot of pent up anger and you want to pretend your body is to blame for this rather than your own conscious decisions. You claim in another thread to consider yourself an absolute monarch, yet you immediately dissociate yourself from your body and blame your biology for your poor behavior... while also claiming not to cling to anything. The contradictions in this point of view are obvious.

And no, I'm not particularly trying to convert you. I'm content allowing you to be your own example of the flaws in such arguments, to anyone else who sees them.

[Adonai One]

I don't believe in flaws, mistakes. I like surprises. I have nobody to blame: I let my body go about as it does like a rabid dog: I take fully responsibility and honor for this. I will stand by my distinction between my unconscious and my instinctual mind: I observe the latter with amusement and distinction in full responsibility and honor.

I don't believe in poor behavior nor the concept of etiquette either.

I just see myself, and deliberately allowing myself, to behave like an untrained monkey. I just see this meat suit going wild: It releases its pain and I like that. I consider this healing and detachment.

[Billy]

What do you want out of life Adonai?

[APeacefulWarrior]

You say you don't believe in poor behavior, yet you continue to refer to the actions of your body as those of a rabid animal or an untrained monkey. These metaphors directly suggest proper/improper action. You're just indulging in solipistic self justification, using concepts of dualism to avoid taking direct responsibility for your actions.

(After all, your "meat suit" is just one more emergent aspect of your higher self. )

But, as I said, your willingness to allow yourself to behave like a rabid dog -your words- without considering the karmic burdens of such actions just further illustrates to others the fallacy in such thinking. Like Watson was to Holmes, it seems that you are an excellent *conductor* of light, allowing it to reflect off you such that others can be illuminated in your stead. This is, in its own way, a somewhat unique service to provide to others as an example of teaching/learning.

So in that sense, at least, I believe this discussion has been quite productive.

[Adonai One]

What do you want out of life Adonai?

I want my mind to stop hurting so badly. I want the pain of my unconscious mind to stop already. Without any clear hope of this, I am left residing in the present moment to release the attachment to the pain and hope to normalize my condition.

I live everyday barely able to breathe: I have to do it manually as I am numbed from a basic attachment to my body. I see no life purpose anymore. I just want to be without pain. It hurts so much for me to basically exist. Again, I can barely breathe properly and there is nobody who can help me but my own self-awareness and meditation.

Let me state this succinctly: Most people would have killed themselves already in my position. I would attest to that in court.

APeacefulWarrior: I don't believe in morality except a lack of morality as ethical. I'm an ethical nihilist. Good luck convincing me morality exists. Let it be said: I'm not a general nihilist, I just don't believe in anything except what naturally, originally exists. You can consider me a Darwinist.

[Billy]

I'm sorry Adonai.

[APeacefulWarrior]

I really cannot tell if you're speaking of physical pain or mental. If it's physical, you have my sincere sympathies. The burdens on physical pain can be quite hard to bear without succumbing to negativity. But if it's mental, well, then all you're doing is taking your own psychological problems out on everyone else in this forum.

Again, I'm NOT particularly trying to convince you of everything. I thought I had been quite clear on this point, in my last message. I'm allowing you to stand as your own exemplar of how transferring one's pain onto others does nothing but increase the aggregate suffering, without alleviating it.

Morality doesn't require your belief. Acting in a sufficiently amoral fashion is itself sufficient to inspire morality in others.

[Adonai One]

I'm sorry Adonai.

No need to be sorry.

I'll take my time to express the greatest fear of mine at this moment: My mind just breaking part but it never happens. I never break apart even when I hope for it. When I think I am done with life, I'm not.

I've also given up hope on anybody understanding me because truly the catalyst of hearing what's completely on my mind is too much to bear for most.

I'm so tired of not being understood. I'm very tired. I still do this because I know it's good for me.

Also, doctors have never helped me, they only made my condition worse with toxins they consider medication.

[Adonai One]

I really cannot tell if you're speaking of physical pain or mental.   If it's physical,  you have my sincere sympathies.  The burdens on physical pain can be quite hard to bear without succumbing to negativity.  But if it's mental,  well,  then all you're doing is taking your own psychological problems out on everyone else in this forum.

Again,  I'm NOT particularly trying to convince you of everything.   I thought I had been quite clear on this point,  in my last message.   I'm allowing you to stand as your own exemplar of how transferring one's pain onto others does nothing but increase the aggregate suffering,  without alleviating it.

Morality doesn't require your belief.   Acting in a sufficiently amoral fashion is itself sufficient to inspire morality in others.

It's physical going towards psychological. Anyways tell me when morality means something in my everyday life, then I'll care: I see nobody truly enforcing it.

[Billy]

I'm sorry Adonai.

No need to be sorry.

I'll take my time to express the greatest fear of mine at this moment: My mind just breaking part but it never happens. I never break apart even when I hope for it. When I think I am done with life, I'm not.

I've also given up hope on anybody understanding me because truly the catalyst of hearing what's completely on my mind is too much to bear for most.

I'm so tired of not being understood. I'm very tired. I still do this because I know it's good for me.

Also, doctors have never helped me, they only made my condition worse with toxins they consider medication.

Why is it good for you?  I know that people often say that pain is good catalyst for growth, but what about your well being and happiness?

[APeacefulWarrior]

Yet another contradiction arises: You say that you reject morality, ethics, and polite behavior... then complain about how people don't understand you. You choose to behave in ways that drive people away, then wallow in the sorrow such isolation causes. You, calling yourself a pantimonarch, are the alpha and omega of your own suffering and this becomes increasingly clear with every reply.

And when I directly suggested you might be happier hanging out with people who share your belief in nothingness, like other practitioners of Zen, you pretty much ignored the idea. So you apparently refuse to even be around the types of people who might understand you, in favor of picking fights with those you know will not understand/agree with your choices.

Such are your decisions and you are, of course, free to choose such unhappiness if it increases your learning experiences in this lifetime. The shame is how you seem to blame everything except your own free will for the results of these actions and the suffering they bring.

This too provides a powerful example to others of how non-acceptance of one's self leads to distortions, misunderstanding, and further suffering.

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[Spaced]

If Adonai wanted help he'd ask for it.

He's run away form himself for so long that all he has left are his pain and isolation. Take that away and what does he have?

[Adonai One]

No one besides my wife is competent enough to assist me.

[Adonai One]

I'm sorry Adonai.

No need to be sorry.

I'll take my time to express the greatest fear of mine at this moment: My mind just breaking part but it never happens. I never break apart even when I hope for it. When I think I am done with life, I'm not.

I've also given up hope on anybody understanding me because truly the catalyst of hearing what's completely on my mind is too much to bear for most.

I'm so tired of not being understood. I'm very tired. I still do this because I know it's good for me.

Also, doctors have never helped me, they only made my condition worse with toxins they consider medication.

Why is it good for you?  I know that people often say that pain is good catalyst for growth, but what about your well being and happiness?

My happiness is my own. Others can't provision it. My wife just keeps me from having to settle for canned sardines.

If you claim I need others or you, you're probably never going to reach me.

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[Adonai One]

My pain is not my fault and is the result of random catalyst and I take responsibility and honor for it nonetheless.

Screw you guys, you would be terrible friends. This whole thread tore me down mentally last night. I have less incentive to share myself with this forum.

[anagogy]

My pain is not my fault and is the result of random catalyst and I take responsibility and honor for it nonetheless.

Screw you guys, you would be terrible friends. This whole thread tore me down mentally last night. I have less incentive to share myself with this forum.

From where you sit, right now, what do you think is the best step you could take in your life to alleviate this pain?

[Raz]

Its not your pain... it´s our pain <3