Breaking out of shame with the help of the Law of One, Michael Teachings, and the Enn

[Questioner]

As I mentioned in my Olio post, I welcome guidance from the moderators about whether this should be in Law of One or Life on Earth.

I continue to explore some of the spiritually-minded systems of psychology that inspire me: the Michael Teachings, and the Enneagram.

The Enneagram explains nine patterns of human behavior, and how people are innately drawn to overusing one of those patterns. At best, we make the most of our own pattern, which is a path to enlightenment in each moment and just one stop in an endless flow of growth using all of the patterns in balance. At worst, each pattern spirals down into a unique form of self-destruction and outward violence, cutting us off from other aspects of our own humanity, and from our inward connection with the Divine. The patterns are numbered one through nine, and the numbering does not indicate any kind of value judgment or ranking.

I have Enneagram type 4. This type can feel alienated, usually emotionally disconnected from both parents since childhood, and by extension, from relationships, society, and God. Recognizing that there should be a connection but that connection is missing, type 4 assumes that the absence of connection is also felt by those who should be in a positive, loving, heartfelt relationship.

The relationships that should be present and positive, but instead don't exist with that positivity, could be at any level of experience. Parent and child, friend to friend, love, family, teamwork, society, culture, relatives, community, angels, aliens and God... all seem distant and cut off. Other relationships are screwed up because the initial relationship at the core of human existence isn't as it should be.

The type 4 adult is the older experience of a child who lacks a sense of a parent's consistently good enough attentive love, compassionate acceptance, and desire to nurture and protect. Assuming that the parent also feels the lacks of this relationship, not able to put into words what's desired going back before language is learned, the child tries to comprehend why the parent would not want this type of relationship.

In some cases, such as my own, years of intense inner work and outward research and therapy lead to this conclusion: the parents didn't miss that relationship, nor choose to withhold it. They were simply too immature, broken, sick, injured, and/or overwhelmed with their own problems, to be able to offer it.

It's not that the parents dined at a luxurious feast of loving mutuality from which the children were excluded. The parents also starved, because that food of love was not on their own table either. It was in the buffet of life, but the parents didn't scoop up that satisfying food and fill their plates with it. Spiritually, the parents scooped up the soggy, bitter, tasteless old leftovers. They didn't even see the good food was available, or maybe someone told them it didn't taste good, or maybe the parents were on their own STS austerity diet to gain power by omitting love from their diet.

Until a type 4 person realizes that this is the case, the type 4 person strives to find out what is their own inner defect that makes them unworthy of love, acceptance, or support - even from their parents.

This fits in perfectly with what the Michael teachings call the Chief Negative Feature of Self-Deprecation, or what psychology calls an Avoidant pattern of disordered thinking and relationships (starting with the relationship with self). From MichaelTeachings.com:

The person devalues, disparages, and slights himself. He feels that he is of little consequence among the rest of humanity. He sees others as better than himself, and looks up to them, and down on himself. The environment of the lowly one also often reflects the lack of self-esteem: a humble abode suitable for a person of modest means. Self-Deprecation is the self-image of limitation. The person feels he is limited in ability, talent, and intellect. He thinks his personal attributes and endowments are small and insignificant. In the Negative Pole of -Abasement, he is often beset with feelings of shame. He feels that he is a disgrace, a burden to himself and to everybody else.... driven by the fear of inadequacy.

Shame is about not even trying to do something good, because of a feeling that one's very existence is so unfixably defective that one has no ability or capacity to do good.

Healing comes from realizing two things. First, there was not a wonderful wellspring of love that was closed off to the type 4, self-deprecating, shame-burdened person. The well was empty. In my own case, this lifetime will never include my experiencing a sense of my mother's unconditional positive regard, acceptance, moral support and encouragement.

That is a dead well in parched desert rocks. Bringing a better bucket will not make it possible for healthy water to come out of that well. The better bucket is my hard work at expressing how much I love her and want her to be proud of me, happy about my existence, respectful of my choices in life, connected even if my beliefs and choices are different than what she would imagine would bring her the most reflected glory. I am not thirsty from one bucket after another being inadequate. I am thirsty from going again and again to an empty well.

The solution is to realize that the love of God, that should be expressed through parental love, is also available from other sources. The closest well is bone dry, but the life-sustaining flow of God's love is in other rivers, in the rain and in the fruits that trees have used to package water, all there for me to enjoy. I do not have to remain thirsty for the rest of my life.

Shame is an especially perverse trick that STS forces use to sabotage STO entities from within. If one desires to be supportive, useful, kind and loving... but what one has to offer is so defective that it must even be rejected by those who should be most close and loving... then helpfulness consists of hiding one's light, of withdrawing, not interacting, retreating into a destructive spiral of looking within for nonexistent reasons that one is below God's minimum standards.

Shame is like convincing a pilot that a perfectly good plane is allegedly full of bombs that will blow everything apart at takeoff or landing. This lie would keep a useful plane grounded, or force one already aloft to circle endlessly until it runs out of fuel. Either way, the good it should do is withheld from a false fear of defectiveness. This is what has happened in my life. And the lesson of my life is that the engines have always been just fine, with plenty of people who'd love to enjoy my next scenic cruise in perfect safety.

At best, type 4 is honest about the deepest contents of one's own heart and spirit; leading to a flow of intuitive creativity, and a unique expression of universal truths of human nature... because down below the basement is not hell, but the shared bedrock of God's love and freedom as expressed through every life.

[Confused]

Dear Questioner, I am extremely pleased with myself that I read this post of yours. It is filled with such poignancy, joy and beauty at the same time that it pulled me to an exalted plane of being. Thanks for providing me that experience with your post.

It's not that the parents dined at a luxurious feast of loving mutuality from which the children were excluded. The parents also starved, because that food of love was not on their own table either. It was in the buffet of life, but the parents didn't scoop up that satisfying food and fill their plates with it. Spiritually, the parents scooped up the soggy, bitter, tasteless old leftovers. They didn't even see the good food was available, or maybe someone told them it didn't taste good, or maybe the parents were on their own STS austerity diet to gain power by omitting love from their diet.

Beautifully crafted.

In my own case, this lifetime will never include my experiencing a sense of my mother's unconditional positive regard, acceptance, moral support and encouragement.

Deeply poignant.

The closest well is bone dry, but the life-sustaining flow of God's love is in other rivers, in the rain and in the fruits that trees have used to package water, all there for me to enjoy. I do not have to remain thirsty for the rest of my life.

A most wonderful and exquisite description of the blessed hope in you.

I am sure that the love of many in these forums is with you as well. I leave you with this wonderful quote of Ra in connection with your reference to the STS sabotaging technique of shame on STO entities. This comes from session 19 -

Those truly helpless are those who have not consciously chosen but who repeat patterns without knowledge of the repetition or the meaning of the pattern.

[Questioner]

Dear Questioner, I am extremely pleased with myself that I read this post of yours. It is filled with such poignancy, joy and beauty at the same time that it pulled me to an exalted plane of being. Thanks for providing me that experience with your post.

I'm delighted too! I saw that the post got several reads but no comments... and wondered if I said something confusing or unhelpful. This post summarizes several years of seeking answers. I'm glad you found the post valuable. Thank you!

I am sure that the love of many in these forums is with you as well.

I feel very certain about that.

I leave you with this wonderful quote of Ra in connection with your reference to the STS sabotaging technique of shame on STO entities.

Perfect choice of quote. Yes, that has been my challenge throughout this life: to make unconsciously repeated patterns become conscious, so I can choose whether or not I want another ride in the spin cycle.

[Lorna]

hello questionner, and thank you for your beautiful post. i did read it quickly earlier but wanted to revisit because of the use of your word shame - that seems like such a strong word, i couldn't understand why you had used it. I have since re read and i think i understand what you mean

the way you describe your relationship with your mother reminds me of issues that my mother is still facing in relation to her parents. very timely, i spoke with her for over an hour today about her continued difficulties with my grandmother.

i googled enneagram tests - hadn't heard of them before - and was shocked at how accurate my result seemed to be. i think i may suggest my mum to tries a test, i think she may find it illuminating.

much as i was filled with sadness reading your descriptions of your interactions with your mother, your writings regarding the path to healing are beautiful and full of optimism.

you said "type 4 is honest about the deepest contents of one's own heart and spirit; leading to a flow of intuitive creativity, and a unique expression of universal truths of human nature"

that is a perfect description of your post. thank you

[Questioner]

Thanks Lorna. Before I took my hiatus from the forum, I read some about your difficult grandmother. I'm sad to learn that those issues are still ongoing in your family.

To me, the difference between guilt and shame is simple. Guilt claims that someone has done something wrong or hurtful, and never tried to make amends. Shame claims that someone is wrong and cannot do anything to make the situation right, because it's their existence and presence that is wrong.

To tell the difference, just ask: "What could I have done back then that would have been better; and what can I do now to try to patch things up and fix what's wrong?" If there are specific answers about actions or behaviors, then the issue is guilt. If the answer is, "There's nothing you could have done, or could do now, that would be right, because your very nature is bad," then the issue is shame.

In my opinion, the best web site for a quick introduction to the enneagram is 9types.com. Start with their diagrams for each type. Follow their link to Riso and Hudson's site for more details. Riso and Hudson's "Personality Types" is the best book-length introduction. I think the most important point is that Riso's "Levels of Development" show that any enneagram type at its best is a path to enlightenment and unity, while any type at its worst is a destructive and self-destructive road to hell. I'd love to discuss the enneagram more here and relate it to the Law of One.

[Lorna]

i find my mother's sense of powerlessness in regard to my grandmother confusing. finding a way through it, which i'm sure she will, will be incredibly positive for her

had to come back and share - i logged onto that 9types site, i came up as a type 9 on a different site. two phrases for each type, 'i am at peace' which i read and thought yeah, i really am, followed by 'stop procrastinating' and i burst out laughing because that is exactly what i'm doing right now lol!

off to do some work x

[Confused]

I'd love to discuss the enneagram more here and relate it to the Law of One.

May be this very thread could be used for that purpose. It would be wonderful if you can provide a starting point (if you prefer of course), as I came to know for the first time that something called the 'Enneagram' exists from your post. I am particularly interested as to how it relates to the message of unity or the Law of One.

[Questioner]

Thanks for the interest. Let's get started.

All of what I say here is my own interpretation based on what I've read and meditated on. I apologize in advance if I have some misunderstandings that would lead anyone else astray.

The Enneagram is a collection of ideas about human experience. It could be thought of as a spiritual approach to psychology and sociology. Several people have worked on developing these ideas in recent decades.

Depending who you believe, some of the ideas may go back centuries or even millenia. Or maybe that is just picturesque language or even deliberate manipulations for marketing gains.

My impression is that some of the modern Enneagram's beginnings, around 1970, may have been what we'd call channeled on this forum. Not necessarily spoken words received telepathically, but bundles of concepts received intuitively or with spiritual meditation. It's clear that much of the more recent work has involved ordinary human analytical and creative thought processes.

These ideas describe nine aspects of human behavior and experience. A circular diagram with arrows represents how these nine facets of life relate to each other. My own interpretation is that these nine points are not necessarily all aspects of human life. Instead, I think of them as like primary colors. Midway between colors are both named and unnamed combinations: teal, aqua, pastel light greenish blue, dark saturated bluish green. I feel that Enneagram descriptions of "two with a three wing" and "three with a two wing" may represent only two of an infinite number of blends between points two and three.

The points are numbered. The numbering does not indicate anything about value or chronological order, it simply designates the points in order to tell them apart. They may relate to numerological concepts.

Each of the points or numbers represents a distinct state of consciousness. Each of these states of consciousness is available to every person at any moment. In a healthy life, we experience and use each of these states in a naturally ongoing flow.

Each person has a greatest affinity for one of these states of being occuring very easily and spontaneously. We refer to that most innate state of being as the person's type.

Each point includes the opportunity to rise up to enlightenment at the best experience of that state of being; the opportunity to destructively and self-destructively make a road to hell out of that type of consciousness at its worst; and a range of everyday life experiences in the middle. Don Riso did extensive work to document these "levels of development" within each type.

People with each type have a common sense of feeling about their relationship with their parents. It's unclear to me if this is nature or nurture. It might be that no matter what the parents were like, the incarnate soul plus the genetic makeup of the person might have led to a particular range of interpretations about family life. It might also be that early life experience, in preverbal years, is a major source of interpretation about the nature of the world and a person's place within it.

At best, we are aware of our type; rise up through the levels of development towards our innate capacity for enlightenment; and can respect and draw on the states of consciousness throughout all the other types to live a balanced, harmonious, mature, well-developed life. At worst, we fall down through the levels of development towards our innate capacity for horror and abuse, and are oblivious, hateful and fearful towards any other way of experiencing a human life.

I'll have follow up posts outlining the individual types and how they relate to each other.

Even before I get into the specific types, I think you'll be able to see several ways that these concepts connect up with the Law of One teachings.

[Confused]

I feel that Enneagram descriptions of "two with a three wing" and "three with a two wing" may represent only two of an infinite number of blends between points two and three.

What does "two with a three wing" mean? I am not sure I understand the reference to wings. Is it some technical aspect of the Enneagram. I apologize that I have a mind that grasps very slowly and is weak in understanding scientific ideas. You may be faced with a barrage of questions from my end as we proceed with the greater work of sharing this concept. I request that you please do not get tired of my constant requirement for explanations

[Questioner]

A barrage of questions is welcome. That helps me see if I am explaining things clearly. You didn't understand because I used some Enneagram jargon without defining it. Thanks for catching my mistake.

The Enneagram circle is like a clock, but instead of numbers 1 through 12 around the outside, it has just numbers 1 through 9 spread evenly around the outside.

Think of a clock with a smoothly moving hour hand. Before 2 o'clock, the hour hand will gradually move from 1 to 2. After 2 o'clock, the hour hand will move from 2 to 3. Between 1:30 and 2, the hour hand points to the area the could be rounded off to 2 o'clock but it's still partially in the area of 1 o'clock. Between 2 and 2:30, you could round off the time to the 2 o'clock hour, but the time is starting to get influenced by the approach to 3 o'clock.

The wing concept is that each of the numbered points on the Enneagram circle can be subdivided into two parts, each influenced somewhat by its adjacent point. For example, type two can be subdivided into two with a one wing (the side of point 2 that is closer to point 1), and two with a three wing (the side of point 2 that is closer to point 3). This would be like identifying the time as 1, 1:30, 2, 2:30, or 3, rather than just rounding it off to the nearest hour.

My point is that Enneagram concepts include room for subdivision between the points. However, it usually considers each point as though the clock hand jumps instantly between the numbers.

I'm not sure if it's right to call Enneagram concepts a scientific idea. There may not be anything about the Enneagram that can be falsified in a repeatable scientific experiment. I prefer to think of it is a system of ideas about mind, spirit, and personal growth. These ideas are food for thought. They can inspire new approaches to communication and awareness.

[Confused]

The Enneagram circle is like a clock, but instead of numbers 1 through 12 around the outside, it has just numbers 1 through 9 spread evenly around the outside.

Think of a clock with a smoothly moving hour hand. Before 2 o'clock, the hour hand will gradually move from 1 to 2. After 2 o'clock, the hour hand will move from 2 to 3. Between 1:30 and 2, the hour hand points to the area the could be rounded off to 2 o'clock but it's still partially in the area of 1 o'clock. Between 2 and 2:30, you could round off the time to the 2 o'clock hour, but the time is starting to get influenced by the approach to 3 o'clock.

Great explanation with a very lucid analogy. I think I have now grasped the point. You are strong in clarifying concepts. I also found your explanation with pictures of pyramids on another post very limpid.

From what you have said so far, it appears as if the Enneagram is another way of trying to approach the archetypal mind, at least with respect to our experiences in the current planetary episodic density. I look forward towards your elucidation on the personality types that you alluded to earlier.

[Phoenix]

I liked this Enneagram thing. I am type 2 with a sexual variant.

[Godz Enigma]

interesting concept!

When i looked at the pictures of the Enneagram, i saw

Solar Plexus/ Manioura Chakra image.
Do you think this is another take on balancing the chakras?

[Questioner]

Phoenix, since you're familiar with the material maybe you could help me see if I miss anything important in my presentation.

Confused, thanks for the kind words.

Enigma, that's a different diagram than what I'm referring to. I'll get to the diagram but I want to discuss the points first.

Type 3

Let's start with three types of personality - or three states of consciousness available to all of us - that are very deeply interested in the love and approval of other people. I'll start with types 3, 6, and 9.

Type 3 is all about a desire to have pride of achievement at one's own hard-won personal growth.

At best, a type 3 person works hard at their own self-improvement. This person identifies what could be truly great about him or her own self. Then there is the hard work to live up to that potential. As a result, the person can be justifiably, realistically proud of how admirably they have improved themselves. They are happy, humble and inspiring.

At worst, a type 3 person is afraid that other people will reject them for not being admirable enough. However, the negative side of type 3 does not pursue the hard work of inner-directed self-development in order to become more admirable. Instead, the person tries to manipulate other people into providing admiring praise that is unearned, perhaps at the expense of other people who have to be losers so the type 3 can be seen as the winner.

Notice that if the healthy 3 lives up to their own potential, it does not actually matter whether or not other people provide external admiration. The person is able to admire themself for their own evolutionary growth.

There are different keyword terms for type 3; I like "Performer." At best, the person performs at a high level, such as Olympic athletes admired by the whole world for their astounding self-discipline. At worst, the person puts on a performance to try to get undeserved acclaim based on grandiose, narcissistic, arrogant showmanship, or rather, "showboating." Rather than the prestige of earning a role as a self-made elite, the attempt is to carry one's own pedestal around so others can look up and salute.

In unconscious childhood terms, the type 3 person as an adult could still be trying to win Mom's approval on the downside; or on the upside, feel within themselves the pride of knowing that Mom would be proud of them. A good Mom should be proud of you for genuinely doing your best. A bad Mom could perhaps be manipulated into having to grudgingly admit that the kid's OK, or at least entertaining.

I can provide an example of a type 3 person in my past who slid down the negative path. Bill had a genuine great talent at art. He had a big project that needed a team. I was one of five people on the team, who helped him do great at a famous regional arts festival. Videos taken at the time prove that the audience was thrilled and delighted at the art, and that all of the team, including me, were crucial in presenting the artwork.

Bill tried to motivate me to put in more unpaid time (for immediate glory, and money someday...) by pointing out that people would have greater admiration for my work if I put in some more work on the project. I really didn't care about that. My interest was in making the art as expressive as possible, for all the artists on the team. I felt that Bill sometimes shot down my suggestions in order to limit my contribution, and instead try to make his own part seem more glorious. But there was enough good there to be worth the hassle.

The arts fest has public and private sides. The public is allowed in during visiting hours. After hours, the artists get to stay, and the festival grounds turn into a campground that is the region's most prestigious and famous get-together in the local art world.

Unknown to anyone else in his team, Bill, like all of the artists, was given camping passes for all his team members. Rather than saying a word to the team members, Bill unilaterally decided to give away those passes to some arts managers that he wanted to impress, so that they would further his own career. Needless to say, as soon as the rest of the team found out about this, Bill no longer had a team!

I later learned that Bill was the only person to be permanently banned from the pizza restaurant next to the university, where artistic types and stoners hung out. Apparently they got his order wrong one time, and he made such a scene about being disrespected that even the mellow hippies couldn't put up with his antics any more.

In his day job, Bill was an investment advisor and he kept trying to squeeze information out of me about which high-tech startup companies were considered most prestigious. Based on my engineering job at the time, I could comment about who had technical excellence, but again, since I didn't think in terms of trying to win the crowd's acclaim, I had no information of the type he was looking for.

Perhaps it's no surprise that I haven't had any contact with him in many years. Out of curiosity, I just checked if his website is still up. It is, with a last update from a year ago. The site shows that he has a 100% turnover of line-up since I worked with him; and the years of my involvement have no mention of any names of the collaborators back then.

Examples of type 3 energy, for good or bad: Bill Clinton (NOT the Bill I worked with!), Michael Landon, Tony Robbins, Barbra Streisand, Michael Jordan, Sylvester Stallone, Barack Obama, many homecoming kings & queens. All people who feel their place is up on stage, where they can show the impressive results of their hard work to the admiring public; or like some of the above, show to themselves that they have risen to the occasion. I would like to find a more extensive type 3 list that goes beyond show business and politics.

In a healthy life we should all work hard to do and be our best. We also shouldn't get stuck there, especially as a way to fish for comments from the crowd as though their applause proves that Mom loves us.

I'll continue with type 6 tomorrow.

[Confused]

Phoenix, since you're familiar with the material maybe you could help me see if I miss anything important in my presentation.

Confused, thanks for the kind words.

Enigma, that's a different diagram than what I'm referring to. I'll get to the diagram but I want to discuss the points first.

Type 3

Let's start with three types of personality - or three states of consciousness available to all of us - that are very deeply interested in the love and approval of other people. I'll start with types 3, 6, and 9.

Type 3 is all about a desire to have pride of achievement at one's own hard-won personal growth.

At best, a type 3 person works hard at their own self-improvement. This person identifies what could be truly great about him or her own self. Then there is the hard work to live up to that potential. As a result, the person can be justifiably, realistically proud of how admirably they have improved themselves. They are happy, humble and inspiring.

At worst, a type 3 person is afraid that other people will reject them for not being admirable enough. However, the negative side of type 3 does not pursue the hard work of inner-directed self-development in order to become more admirable. Instead, the person tries to manipulate other people into providing admiring praise that is unearned, perhaps at the expense of other people who have to be losers so the type 3 can be seen as the winner.

Notice that if the healthy 3 lives up to their own potential, it does not actually matter whether or not other people provide external admiration. The person is able to admire themself for their own evolutionary growth.

There are different keyword terms for type 3; I like "Performer." At best, the person performs at a high level, such as Olympic athletes admired by the whole world for their astounding self-discipline. At worst, the person puts on a performance to try to get undeserved acclaim based on grandiose, narcissistic, arrogant showmanship, or rather, "showboating." Rather than the prestige of earning a role as a self-made elite, the attempt is to carry one's own pedestal around so others can look up and salute.

In unconscious childhood terms, the type 3 person as an adult could still be trying to win Mom's approval on the downside; or on the upside, feel within themselves the pride of knowing that Mom would be proud of them. A good Mom should be proud of you for genuinely doing your best. A bad Mom could perhaps be manipulated into having to grudgingly admit that the kid's OK, or at least entertaining.

I can provide an example of a type 3 person in my past who slid down the negative path. Bill had a genuine great talent at art. He had a big project that needed a team. I was one of five people on the team, who helped him do great at a famous regional arts festival. Videos taken at the time prove that the audience was thrilled and delighted at the art, and that all of the team, including me, were crucial in presenting the artwork.

Bill tried to motivate me to put in more unpaid time (for immediate glory, and money someday...) by pointing out that people would have greater admiration for my work if I put in some more work on the project. I really didn't care about that. My interest was in making the art as expressive as possible, for all the artists on the team. I felt that Bill sometimes shot down my suggestions in order to limit my contribution, and instead try to make his own part seem more glorious. But there was enough good there to be worth the hassle.

The arts fest has public and private sides. The public is allowed in during visiting hours. After hours, the artists get to stay, and the festival grounds turn into a campground that is the region's most prestigious and famous get-together in the local art world.

Unknown to anyone else in his team, Bill, like all of the artists, was given camping passes for all his team members. Rather than saying a word to the team members, Bill unilaterally decided to give away those passes to some arts managers that he wanted to impress, so that they would further his own career. Needless to say, as soon as the rest of the team found out about this, Bill no longer had a team!

I later learned that Bill was the only person to be permanently banned from the pizza restaurant next to the university, where artistic types and stoners hung out. Apparently they got his order wrong one time, and he made such a scene about being disrespected that even the mellow hippies couldn't put up with his antics any more.

In his day job, Bill was an investment advisor and he kept trying to squeeze information out of me about which high-tech startup companies were considered most prestigious. Based on my engineering job at the time, I could comment about who had technical excellence, but again, since I didn't think in terms of trying to win the crowd's acclaim, I had no information of the type he was looking for.

Perhaps it's no surprise that I haven't had any contact with him in many years. Out of curiosity, I just checked if his website is still up. It is, with a last update from a year ago. The site shows that he has a 100% turnover of line-up since I worked with him; and the years of my involvement have no mention of any names of the collaborators back then.

Examples of type 3 energy, for good or bad: Bill Clinton (NOT the Bill I worked with!), Michael Landon, Tony Robbins, Barbra Streisand, Michael Jordan, Sylvester Stallone, Barack Obama, many homecoming kings & queens. All people who feel their place is up on stage, where they can show the impressive results of their hard work to the admiring public; or like some of the above, show to themselves that they have risen to the occasion. I would like to find a more extensive type 3 list that goes beyond show business and politics.

In a healthy life we should all work hard to do and be our best. We also shouldn't get stuck there, especially as a way to fish for comments from the crowd as though their applause proves that Mom loves us.

I'll continue with type 6 tomorrow.

Ha, so you are an engineer and an artiste rolled into one. That explains your ability to artistically depict and scientifically interpret many of the concepts that an average person like me would find obscure. Glad to have you as an ally in understanding these concepts. Thanks for the Type 3 elucidation. I look forward to the next installment you have promised.

[AnthroHeart]

I took a basic test at http://similarminds.com/cgi-bin/similarminds.pl

Came up with a Type 9. With a variant of social.

Edit: The actual URL is: http://similarminds.com/test.html

[Confused]

I took a basic test at http://similarminds.com/cgi-bin/similarminds.pl

Came up with a Type 9. With a variant of social.

Interesting. Is it possible that you can correlate your personality result with the understanding that you may have gleaned from the Law of One? It may be helpful in terms of providing some insights on the archetypes of the mind at the level of our shared living experience on this planet.

[Questioner]

An important point I forgot to mention about type 3: the love of competition.
People using type 3 energy feel very alive and happy when they are in a fiercely challenging competition. If you think about athletes and politicians, you can see how the competition is built into the system. You can also see that some of the competitors really thrive on the way their rivals push them, forcing them to come up with something better or to just work harder.

Type 3 people in other fields will create their own competitive challenge if the environment doesn't provide one. For example, type 3 musicians will enjoy having a rivalry and comparing whose record or tour is climbing up the sales charts. It's obviously not an essential part of musicianship to have a competitive drive, but it can help a musician to get the most fame and fortune possible out of their work.

At best, the external challenge is a further aspect of the person's own hard work to develop their abilities. An STO type 3 wants to make their contribution greater, and to sharpen everyone involved by the external opportunity for triumph.

At worst, the external challenge is a chance to force someone else to lose so that one's own lack of self-development isn't exposed. An STS type 3 wants to make themselves not just admired, but king of the hill, no matter who they have to stomp on to climb up.

-----

I hope to have the type 6 essay ready later today.

By the way, Confused, the tradition around here is slice the quote down to just the line or paragraph that you're replying to. It makes for a smoother flow of conversation and less scrolling to get to the new material.

People who meet me in person tend to assume I'm artistic and are surprised to find that I know about engineering. People who meet me online tend to assume I'm technical and are surprised to find that I have an artistic side. Integrating these aspects of my life has been a major focus for me.

[AnthroHeart]

Absolutely. Before LOO, meditation, shamanism, reiki, all of that, I was much more fearful and didn't like to be around people.

After I had read LOO for a bit, then I started resonating more with the energy behind the words. Not just the logical understanding of the words, but feeling enhanced sensations from connections of everyone on this board or who is connected to the Law of One. We each give our own energy, even without realizing it. This has formed a ballast, a balancer of sorts in my emotional nature.

Interesting. Is it possible that you can correlate your personality result with the understanding that you may have gleaned from the Law of One? It may be helpful in terms of providing some insights on the archetypes of the mind at the level of our shared living experience on this planet.

[Confused]

By the way, Confused, the tradition around here is slice the quote down to just the line or paragraph that you're replying to.

I will remember that going forward Questioner. Thanks for bringing it up.

It is wonderful that you are putting your engineering and artistic capabilities together to assemble some great posts for readers to savor.

---

This has formed a ballast, a balancer of sorts in my emotional nature.

Great. That is something I can vouch for too after having read the LOO. But many challenges yet remain personally for me in terms of my propensity to patronize (or sometimes terrorize) those I consider weaker to me, and simultaneously pander to the emotions of those whom I fear or consider stronger to myself.

[Questioner]

Type 6 "The Skeptic" or "The Loyalist"

Type Six energy is all about loyalty: be approved by others because of embracing them through teamwork.

The person living by Type Six wants to know that there will be a loyal team to support him or her through life. That's important for everyone!
The Type Six strategy, very sensibly, is to give loyalty to a group in order to get back loyalty from a group. Some things that come easy to Type Six: Punctuality, dedicated hard work, putting up with the problems of the system to gain its rewards, trusting in authority.

The problem is that this not a sensible strategy if the group is not worthy of this loyalty. Type Six can get into a problem of giving more and more loyalty to people who simply take more and more advantage, or who simply discard and disrespect the offer more and more.

Afraid of being abandoned or taken advantage of, the Type Six person can go into a fearful spiral of distrust. If the "bad guys" can be identified before one trusts them, or before one naively trusts them any more, then trust won't be misplaced. This is true, but aggressively looking for "bad guys" can break the trust and loyalty that would make it possible for the individual to successfully connect with the "good guys."
Beyond a certain level of awareness, skeptical cynicism does not provide any further awareness, only dissociation; and rooting for the underdog or the "little guy" can turn into enabling other people whose own destructive tendencies kicked them out of society.
Ironically, the Type Six person can then try to find the most authoritative source of information about skepticism; and be tremendously loyal to what that authority says about who should not be trusted! You can see this with "skeptic" or "cynic" type publications in any field. For example, there can't possibly be any spiritual or extraterrestrial messages that inspire us to think for ourselves; the finest minds in the Standard Paradigm say so!

Unconsciously this energy can be connected to Daddy and afraid of abandonment. There can be unquestioned feelings that security comes from dependence and is obtained through likability, dependability, being a good soldier. Being too original could be dangerous. After all, the nail that sticks is hammered down, and the tall poppy gets lopped off, right?

Growth involves finding one's own authority within, and a kinship with all people, not just the local "tribe."

Mikey, type 6 extraordinaire, worked with me on Bill's art team. He and I had worked together in another art team before. That previous team had superb personal rapport and loving friendship. It also had a unique combination of incredible originality, with some severely dysfunctional people. The dysfunctions got so bad that after carpooling over, Mikey and I would literally wait for hours for the team members who were not yet ready... for the weekly gathering IN THEIR OWN HOME!! It was this frustration that drove Mike and me to try to find another outlet for our creativity. After all, Mikey had a government logistics career, where things were sorted and distributed promptly on a daily basis... at the same agency where his Dad had worked for many years. Why put up with anything less than that in personal life, or in art?

Team #1 was the nice but ineffective group.
Team #2 was Bill's thing.

After things fell apart with Bill, Mike and I started another team... our third together! I soon had to move across the country for work, but as far as I know Mikey's new team #3 is still going strong years later. As for the creative people who couldn't get their act together, last I heard, the friendships continued but any attempt at doing projects together had totally fallen apart. Although the friends had tried to do their projects together for years before I came along, after I left, the lack of my capacity to stand in the center and integrate the different elements was sorely missed and not enough was left to pick up the pieces. A major investment was made by some members of team #1 to create a documentary of all we had done, and the completely unedited footage is still piled up in someone's closet as far as I know.

Just checked the Team #3 website. One guy left six years ago, "after helping to found the team and nurturing it into a viable project... although he remains involved, helping their journey as a consultant and supporter." His current projects are referenced. What a world of difference in loyalty between constructive Type 6 energy and destructive Type 3 energy!

Sorry if the history gets confusing here. It's clear in my mind but I don't know if it came out in a tangle of timelines.

There's a personally painful part of all this for me. A highly welcomed visitor to the first team, where Mikey and I met, was my sweetheart I thought I would marry. I only moved out of town after completely going broke to try to stay in town and make the relationship work out. As I finally moved away in economic desparation, my sweetheart screamed at me about how awful I was.

As soon as I was gone, my sweetheart and another member of the team (perhaps Mikey's oldest and closest friend) got together IMMEDIATELY, and the whole world (of the little clique in the old town) learned all the dirty laundry about my many sins... including hurtful things I'm sure I never did, destructive bad intentions I'm sure I never had, carelessly reckless selfish thought I can't remember thinking.

Well, I knew I wasn't lying; therefore, why was I crazy? So crazy that I couldn't even be trusted to know whether or not I had tried to give up everything for love? I didn't even understand the question, and nobody could give me any answers. This was before I'd really figured out the nature and effects of the cult abuse, and before I'd found anything as compelling and powerful spiritually as the Law of One.

And it's what drove the years of research and introspection, to try to find out the answer to those uncomfortable questions about how my best could not even be acknowledged as a sincere attempt to love.

But this much was obvious: I'd become very difficult and negative, for some incomprehensible reason, rather than celebrating the newly shared life of the people who'd finally found each other's perfect life companions... once I was out of the picture!

As there was no way to express loyalty to everyone, I got increasingly separated from Mikey's world. I had many years of excellent friendship with him, and enjoyed very successful collaboration on projects where our talents fit together perfectly. I don't particularly miss Bill, but I sure do miss Mike. But I don't know if there will ever be any opportunity for him to understand what I feel happened in my own life in those last years we had shared. For him to have that understanding would threaten his even more longstanding loyalties.

Famous Type 6 people include Malcolm X, Princess Diana, Tom Hanks, Phil Donahue, Andy Rooney, Tom Clancy... all people dedicated to whatever it takes to make The Greatest Team (as they see it) a success.

I'll continue with type 9 tomorrow, then look at the triangle linking types 3, 6, and 9.

[Confused]

But this much was obvious: I'd become very difficult and negative, for some incomprehensible reason, rather than celebrating the newly shared life of the people who'd finally found each other's perfect life companions... once I was out of the picture!

Sigh...that is what unconditional love can often demand. The concept of unconditional love is most simple in its essential philosophy; but can be extremely difficult in real practice (in my experiences at least).

Thank you for corroborating the information from the Enneagram with the deepest details of your own life. It is truly fascinating rather than just coming across as dry technical articulation of information.

Is there any reason for you having picked up types 3,6, & 9 first for elucidation, rather than following a sequential order from Type 1 to Type 9?

[Aaron]

Thank you for corroborating the information from the Enneagram with the deepest details of your own life. It is truly fascinating rather than just coming across as dry technical articulation of information.

I agree, thank you, Questioner! I may not find anything meaningful within myself to say here; but I'm behind the scenes loving every bit of this discourse.

[fairyfarmgirl]

Hmmm I was thinking the same thing... why start with multiples of 3? I am interested in the whole spectrum...

fairyfarmgirl

[Questioner]

Sigh...that is what unconditional love can often demand.

It was some extreme catalyst. Without it, I might not have had as much unhappiness in my life. But I also might not have pursued a path of seeking answers that eventually led me to the Law of One material.

Is there any reason for you having picked up types 3,6, & 9 first for elucidation, rather than following a sequential order from Type 1 to Type 9?

Great question.

Remember that in the Enneagram system, the numbering of the types does not have anything to do with chronological order, psychological maturity, or spiritual evolution. Study can start anywhere. Some popular books on the Enneagram start with point 2 and work their way around, clockwise.

There are other systems of personality type, some as insightful as the Enneagram. What is unique about the Enneagram, and so very cool, is the way that the types are connected to each other in a particular pattern represented by the diagram.

Enneagram theory says that each of the types represents a particular state of consciousness which we all should use throughout our lives. It says that in the process of evolution and growth, we naturally cycle through these different attitudes in a way that is healthy and positive. Through the way the points are connected, it points out a way to see the most likely keys to collaboration and interaction. And when a person or a group spiral in reverse through the points, it shows exactly how they unravel.

Before we can look at how this connection between points works, we need to be familiar with the points individually.

There are two ways that the points are connected up: a connection with three points and a connection with six points. The three-point connection links up 3, 6, and 9. By discussing these points first, I'm taking the shortest path to a discussion of the connections. If I started with the other points, I'd need to cover twice as much material before being able to explain how the points are connected.

One of my favorite authors about the Enneagram wrote a paper with a theory of how a particular point of view about psychological structure can explain the links in the Enneagram. I see his theory as also having a relationship to the classic yin/yang dichotomy of Eastern thought. I will bring those concepts in here, but if I toss them out now they won't have any context yet.

From Thomas Chou's point of view (I'll link to his paper later in this series), 3, 6, and 9 all relate to reasons an individual hopes for, or is ready for, love from others in society: because they're a hard-working self-developing highly-performing winner; or because they're a loyal, devoted, yet appropriately cautious team player; or because they're humbly at peace and harmony with all. Yet these strategies all relate to the underlying core value of receiving love from other people... a value that simply is not as deeply, intensely, passionately a core value for the other six types.

We will absolutely cover the entire spectrum in my series here and I hope to be equally respectful of all these different opportunities for enlightenment. I also hope to be equally forthright about all these opportunities to misuse one aspect of human life energy to sink down to a miserable level. I hope my 3 and 6 essays show a balanced respect for both good and bad opportunities inherent in these types.

I hope to have the type 9 essay ready for y'all to enjoy later today. Please continue to let me know what works and what doesn't work in my attempts to explain this bundle of concepts.

[AnthroHeart]

Thank you for your impressive research there Questioner. There's so much to this study.

[CircleofOne]

Just wanted to say thanks to OP (haven't made it through the rest yet), this issue of self-worth is still one of the major lessons that I'm struggling through, and we all know the value of a spiritual cold splash of water on the face!

[Questioner]

Circle of One, one really nice thing about the Enneagram as a self-development tool is that harsh, cold splashes are not necessary. It's about becoming more of who you naturally are at your best. The whole process can be quite gentle (although as challenging as a type 3 needs to inspire themself!).

Type 9: The Peacemaker

Completing our trilogy of consciousness states/personality types focused on the connection with society, we come to type 9, the Peacemaker.

The goal of this type of personality, or this state of consciousness any of us can enter at any time, is simply: unity and peace.
At best, this leads to a calm, joyous, loving acceptance of All That Is.
At worst, it gets tangled up with a terror of being separated and alone, unable to find anyone who could offer a loving and honest connection; so there's a desparate accomodation, even to the extent of accepting evil, just to gain the illusion of union.

Let's look at the consequences of how this impulse plays out differently, depending on who is the recipient of this generous spirit of giving. If one is unconditionally welcoming to people of goodwill, this creats a strong bond. If one turns a blind eye to the consequences of selling out one's own ethics, or even worse, selling out the integrity of others just for illusive "peace in our time," one will find that there is no depth of appeasement that won't be seized by the darkness.

In my own opinion: in Law of One terms, the distinction between fourth density love and fifth density wisdom may be more vividly embodied in type 9 than anywhere else in the Enneagram.

Peacemakers can be a total delight when they happily relax, care about others, enjoy chats and hobbies, help others feel warmly received, and eventually mosey the paperwork over to the file cabinet... but not until everyone is comfy with a nice spot of tea!

And peacemakers can be so darn compliantly passive that you just can't bear to tell them off when they fart around, use their progress on the to-do list as the means to show love, abandon their own identity for the sake of the relationship, or don't stand up for themselves because nobody ever gave them the procedures manual about how to do that!

The subconscious emotional connection can be a deep sense of connection to both parents, and a fear of losing that union if they don't have enough patience or self-repression. Or, someone else may be felt as the focus of devotion to whom one looks up and lives in peace.

Since a Type 9 person wants to see everyone comfortably cared for, and they hate to have to rush or deal with a crisis, they're the perfect person to ask for help preparing your camping checklist or the office emergency kit. Especially if you can do this at a calm time, well before the storm arrives.

With the courage to be fully present, this type of energy can be a very powerful force for good, right in the here and now, enjoying the warm beauty of past traditions and diligently crafting a well-prepared future. When type 9 people dissociate from the present reality that there are sometimes evil, unkind, hostile forces at work that demand vigorous, powerful action, they can be the masters at hiding in the middle of an empty field yet where nobody can spot their true selves... so perfectly harmonized with the contours of the land that they just don't stick up on the horizon at all. Invisible.

Sometimes they do really care a lot, but forget that other people may need an invitation: How are you feeling? Would you like to talk about that? What else is important to you? It's so obvious to the type 9 that they are available that they might not realize others need an occasional sign to the rest area. Otherwise, people who really need a break might zoom down the highway of their own busy lives and never realize that a moment of peace was as close as their nearest Nine.

I believe my Dad was a Type 9 person. I see all of these qualities in his life. He had very stable long-term employment, and his marriage continued for many decades, only ending in his death. He had the most wonderfully delightful way of whistling while he happily did his carpentry hobby. He taught some adult evening classes at the college and his math students absolutely loved him, one going so far as to make a delightful rag doll figure of him as a gift. Since he "knew" that I knew how much he cared, asking the kind of specific questions I mentioned - such as, How are you doing? and What do you want to be when you grow up? - simply didn't occur to him.

In him I see something that the Enneagram books omit about type 9: an innate sense of harmony and balance in their work products, not just their relationships. As an engineer, I suspect that Dad had an intuitive sense of which circuits and software would most harmoniously balance the signal and fulfill the communications purposes between the system, its users, and its environment.

He also put up with some incredibly outrageous B.S. from my Mom, instantly agreeing with her about whatever her latest rant was just so the storm would blow over and he could keep the peace. But battening down the hatches, as you disappear down below decks, is not actually the same as sailing in calm seas! I wish he would have sometimes stood up with her, to say, "I realize you're upset but the demands you're making on other people are simply not fair or reasonable! Finish your whine and cut it out already!"

At best, the type 9 energy is the Field of Dreams that supports whatever other people want to plant. When the type 9 person realizes this, puts a protective fence around their heart and only opens the gate for those who are respectful of this primal Yin energy (in either a man or woman), with a warrior's fierceness to protect this resource for the good of all... only then do they really gain the peace that means so much to them.

I have a list here of famous Type 9 people, all easy to see as the one who was a focus of harmonizing balance across the conflicting terms of their world... or, at least, aspired to be this way:
In politics: Presidents Lincoln, Reagan, and Ford, Queen Elizabeth II.
In transpersonal & depth pyschology: Joseph Cambell, Carl Jung.
In entertainment: George Lucas, Walt Disney, Kevin Costner, Ron Howard, Jim Hensen.
In music: Ringo Starr, Janet Jackson.
The balancing point of quietly peacemaking at home: Norman Rockwell, Edith Bunker, Marge Simpson.
The above citations are from Riso & Hudson's materials. I suspect Arlo Guthrie might be a type 9: it's fair enough to make him pick up the garbage, but did he really have to get sent to the Group W bench?

A glimpse ahead

Now looking at types 3, 6, and 9, in comparison, we can see that all three of them have a fundamental core Yin quality of acceptance and of receiving the blessings of society. Within this fundamental value, Type 3 takes a Yang aggressiveness towards self-development to become admirable; Type 6 takes a balanced approach towards giving loyalty to receive loyalty; and Type 9, the Yin of Yin of the Enneagram, is receptive through receptiveness, a recursive concept that a type 9 could happily contemplate in a hammock all afternoon.

My next essay will be about the lines of integration and disintegration between types 3, 6, and 9. This is the distinctive, uniquely valuabe contribution of the Enneagram so I'm very much looking forward to exploring those ideas with you.

Lorna, you mentioned an online test suggested you're type 9. Does this type 9 description resonate for you?

[Lorna]

lol! i'm sitting here chuckling because it is soooooo spot on, i'm genuinely quite gobsmacked at all this information - not just what seems to be relevant to me but the whole approach of the enneagram

At best, the type 9 energy is the Field of Dreams that supports whatever other people want to plant. When the type 9 person realizes this, puts a protective fence around their heart and only opens the gate for those who are respectful of this primal Yin energy (in either a man or woman), with a warrior's fierceness to protect this resource for the good of all... only then do they really gain the peace that means so much to them.

in the above section you have succinctly and expertly described both the work situation i have created for myself and my attitude to relationships. i suspect i need to unlock the gate a bit in regards to relationships, but generally i am very content and at peace

my personal circumstances, particularly in relation to being a single parent, mean that the passive tendency has lessened considerably over the past four years, but other than that what you've written describes me very well

very, very interesting, thank you so much for sharing this information questioner

[Confused]

Let's look at the consequences of how this impulse plays out differently, depending on who is the recipient of this generous spirit of giving. If one is unconditionally welcoming to people of goodwill, this creats a strong bond. If one turns a blind eye to the consequences of selling out one's own ethics, or even worse, selling out the integrity of others just for illusive "peace in our time," one will find that there is no depth of appeasement that won't be seized by the darkness.

In my own opinion: in Law of One terms, the distinction between fourth density love and fifth density wisdom may be more vividly embodied in type 9 than anywhere else in the Enneagram.

I think this is a very vital concept. Especially the statement '...no depth of appeasement that won't be seized by the darkness'. Ra repeatedly rues the fact that their work of love on earth in ancient Egypt was not informed by a practical grasp of reality, but was guided by naive compassion.

The Enneagram makes a lot of sense. Thank you for putting in the hard work so that the rest of us can be informed. Much appreciated.