Tried Everything

[AnthroHeart]

I've called out to Ra, to my spirit guide, to my social memory complex. To mother Earth. To myself. I've tried meditation, different kinds. Some visualizing, some silent. I've called out to my higher self, and to the Logos. I've visualized myself being rocked to sleep in a woman's arms, while she sings to me.

But nothing can help me find that inner peace that I am looking for. To where my energy isn't worn out. Honestly I am exhausted from being here. I've gone out in nature, laid under the stars. I've prayed to God. I've told negative entities to get out of my field, and called in Christ energy to help cleanse me. But nothing works. I am physically worn out. Mentally tired. I've served others when I can. And I try to tend to my needs.

What can I do when nothing else works? I've tried laughing, but that only works for a moment, and only when I find something funny. I think maybe my meds make me groggy. My body hurts it's so tired. And it's hard to hold a thought.

I am not plagued by negative thinking, but my thoughts just don't fulfill me. I'm thinking I want to get to the state of no thought. I want to rest on a higher plane.

[ricdaw]

I've called out to Ra, to my spirit guide, to my social memory complex. To mother Earth. To myself. I've tried meditation, different kinds. Some visualizing, some silent. I've called out to my higher self, and to the Logos. I've visualized myself being rocked to sleep in a woman's arms, while she sings to me.

But nothing can help me find that inner peace that I am looking for. To where my energy isn't worn out. Honestly I am exhausted from being here. I've gone out in nature, laid under the stars. I've prayed to God. I've told negative entities to get out of my field, and called in Christ energy to help cleanse me. But nothing works. I am physically worn out. Mentally tired. I've served others when I can. And I try to tend to my needs.

What can I do when nothing else works? I've tried laughing, but that only works for a moment, and only when I find something funny. I think maybe my meds make me groggy. My body hurts it's so tired. And it's hard to hold a thought.

I am not plagued by negative thinking, but my thoughts just don't fulfill me. I'm thinking I want to get to the state of no thought. I want to rest on a higher plane.

Fill your spirit by helping others. Join a service group. Deliver meals to the elderly. Talk to hospice patients, play cards with them, visit them. Mentor a disadvantaged child. Become a foster parent. Volunteer at the local school. Raise money for charity. Run or walk in every Race for the Cure.

These things will give you reason to engage the day.

The people you help will mirror back your love x10.

Do these things on faith that they will be healing for you.

[AnthroHeart]

I love that ricdaw. Thank you.

I used to volunteer for a German Shepherd Dog Rescue.

[Unbound]

I agree with ricdaw, but my thoughts would be, have you tried just surrendering and giving in to acceptance of the state of where you are and your life? It seems your whole approach to happiness is that things are not right now and you want to "do" something to change it in to a state of happiness. Maybe what you need to do is stop trying and just start being, accept your life exactly as it is, living your life instead of always trying to make it in to something else.

[AnthroHeart]

I can surrender and let mother earth take my weight. That is when I'm done with work.

[Unbound]

Do you not accept and surrender to your work as well?

[Adonai One]

Stop trying things. Try just being.

[AnthroHeart]

Does surrendering mean doing nothing?
I've got lots to do at work.

I find it hard to surrender to things where I have to do something.
It almost seems counterintuitive.

I thought it was time for me to DO something. I've always BEEN.

[Adonai One]

You do not have to work. You do not have to be on this planet. You do not have to do anything. Once you "surrender" to the fact you don't need to cling to some purpose or directive for yourself, you'll start finding peace. Also, stop clinging to peace. Find peace in non-peace, find the bliss in what exists right now. That's where it is, in suffering and all.

Just a suggestion that you can take or leave.

---

P.S. An expression of awareness of what you've been unaware of in any type of capacity is the only medicine you need. You don't need anything external to feel fulfilled.

[Unbound]

Does surrendering mean doing nothing?
I've got lots to do at work.

I find it hard to surrender to things where I have to do something.
It almost seems counterintuitive.

I thought it was time for me to DO something. I've always BEEN.

No it means to give in to the moment and be where you are rather than always focused on the future or past or something "better". To surrender is to be where you are and to be fully accepting of that.

There's a Buddhist saying that goes, "Wash the dishes to wash the dishes." Being means doing things simply for the sake of doing them and because they are things to be done.

I agree it is time to do something, but what I mean by surrender is to focus on what you are doing while you are doing it, to live in the present moment. If you want unending bliss it can only be found in the present moment when you finally release your resistance to life and living in whatever form it takes whether it is at work or at home or in a forest.

You have to release your defiance towards your own life.

[Horuseus]

Serious question. Have you tried stopping masturbating? The brain rewires itself for the dopamine fix, eventually desensitising itself to the normal pleasures of life.

There are a few good TED talks on this. E.g. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

[ricdaw]

One more practical suggesiton. Read the Power of Now. Eckhart Tolle. And read it slowly, like a page or two a day. It is a miracle book.

[third-density-being]

(...)
What can I do when nothing else works?
(...)

I would like to point out that, from what I've understood, You are taking very systematically some kind of drugs. Maybe they are throwing You into chemical imbalance, that your body has problem to keep up with, due to its systematical inputs.

I would suggest You to resign, or at least to change your medicine.

Take Good Care, Dear Gemini Wolf

[Adonai One]

I suggest editing your post and putting that you are not a licensed medical doctor. Else you can run into legal issues, third density being.

[AnthroHeart]

My therapist today said you don't find happiness outside of yourself.

[Unbound]

Was just discussing that exact thing with my girlfriend aha

[AnthroHeart]

Does surrendering mean doing nothing?
I've got lots to do at work.

I find it hard to surrender to things where I have to do something.
It almost seems counterintuitive.

I thought it was time for me to DO something. I've always BEEN.

No it means to give in to the moment and be where you are rather than always focused on the future or past or something "better". To surrender is to be where you are and to be fully accepting of that.

There's a Buddhist saying that goes, "Wash the dishes to wash the dishes." Being means doing things simply for the sake of doing them and because they are things to be done.

I agree it is time to do something, but what I mean by surrender is to focus on what you are doing while you are doing it, to live in the present moment. If you want unending bliss it can only be found in the present moment when you finally release your resistance to life and living in whatever form it takes whether it is at work or at home or in a forest.

You have to release your defiance towards your own life.

I think this part stood out most of all to me. I have been quite defiant in loving myself.

[Jeremy]

Does surrendering mean doing nothing?
I've got lots to do at work.

I find it hard to surrender to things where I have to do something.
It almost seems counterintuitive.

I thought it was time for me to DO something. I've always BEEN.

No it means to give in to the moment and be where you are rather than always focused on the future or past or something "better". To surrender is to be where you are and to be fully accepting of that.

There's a Buddhist saying that goes, "Wash the dishes to wash the dishes." Being means doing things simply for the sake of doing them and because they are things to be done.

I agree it is time to do something, but what I mean by surrender is to focus on what you are doing while you are doing it, to live in the present moment. If you want unending bliss it can only be found in the present moment when you finally release your resistance to life and living in whatever form it takes whether it is at work or at home or in a forest.

You have to release your defiance towards your own life.

I think this part stood out most of all to me. I have been quite defiant in loving myself.

I don't think he's talking about defiance in loving yourself. He's talking about defiance of your life in general. Your lack of enjoyment or ability to find enjoyment, your confusion on how to deal with your mother, your job that you don't enjoy, yearning to be released from this illusion, etc.

If you can get to a point where you just give up, you might finally find enjoyment in life again. When I say give up, I mean give up wondering about all of these issues and give in to whatever reasons they exist. Also give in to the path that you have chosen for yourself. In this way, such defiance will have no place and a potential reason and purpose for it may become illuminated

[xise]

I have a somewhat different opinion here, but my belief evolution method is based on trial and error. It is very much based on heavy self-understanding paired with heavy self-doing to spark further understanding.

In my opinion, you haven't tried things that could help. You have tried a lot, but you've missed some very important and frankly non-esoteric/spiritual ways of dealing with red/orange/yellow. I've suggested before trying out new activities in life so you start to find something you love, trying to find activities where you start to value yourself and love yourself more, standing up to your mother, and socializing more in groups (meetup.com). From your op, I'm not sure you have tried these. These activities may or may not be helpful for you. I can only tell you they were essential to my journey, in combination with my belief work.

But I do think you need to surrender, but in a different way. You may want to surrender your restrictions on your change. The fact you haven't tried many things out there tells me that you haven't hit that rock bottom where people are ready to try anything to change - when I hit bottom I woulda worn a pink hat for a year if someone honestly believed it woulda solved my bdd. Up until then, I still had a preconceived notion of what form my recovery would take. I was probably a bit hostile to spiritual stuff cause of my mothers spiritual distortions.

It was only after I surrendered any idea of the form of my change and called out for help - did I start to see that the universe was suggesting change in ways that I'd never seriously considered before - ie spirituality. I let all resistance stop and surrendered to the idea that perhaps spiritual change was what was needed. Until you surrender your conception of what form your change will take, and start practicing that belief by trying lots of things, you're fighting and resisting change.

Perhaps you need to surrender all ideas of what form your change will take - perhaps your recovery will primarily be of a grounded, earthly nature in the activities I suggested above. Or perhaps not. But until you've surrendered the form of your change to the universe, and then begin listening and trying everything under sun, you can't say that you've tried it all.

[Billy]

To live in the present moment, do you have to be perpetually aware of your inner body, as Eckhart Tolle puts it. He mentions that as you place more and more attention on your inner body, it's vibrational frequency increases comparatively.

---

In my opinion, you haven't tried things that could help. You have tried a lot, but you've missed some very important and frankly non-esoteric/spiritual ways of dealing with red/orange/yellow. I've suggested before trying out new activities in life so you start to find something you love, trying to find activities where you start to value yourself and love yourself more, standing up to your mother, and socializing more in groups (meetup.com). From your op, I'm not sure you have tried these. These activities may or may not be helpful for you. I can only tell you they were essential to my journey, in combination with my belief work.

This is where I believe I have done most of my work in the last few years or so. I've tried volunteering as well attending meetup groups, all for the purpose of being more comfortable around others and lessening my social anxieties (yellow ray I believe). But even with this work done I still often feel how Gemini describes. Always left wanting more. I feel like there is nothing I can't do in my life, and even though there is still some aversion to certain things, I can build up the strength to face these things. I still suck at socializing haha but I can do it if it is necessary. Im wondering if this shows a blockage. Does having a balanced yellow ray mean that you enjoy all social interactions without any discomfort or strain? Or does it mean you can socialise if need be, but that doesn't necesarily mean you will enjoy the interaction. If I want to talk with someone, I can do it. With all this said, of course I am closer now to where I want to be. Just wish things where a little clearer.

[Adonai One]

If something pains you, be aware of it. I think that's all that is necessary: The acceptance of catalyst by becoming fully aware of it until peace is found.

---

Having a balanced yellow-ray means that you are not suppressing any part of yourself especially towards others. The feeling of wanting more comes from believing not doing anything is unacceptable. This is still properly yellow-ray as it involves the expression of the self towards the self. One should be able to sit with themselves doing nothing while being at peace in joy if they are balanced.

[xise]

To live in the present moment, do you have to be perpetually aware of your inner body, as Eckhart Tolle puts it. He mentions that as you place more and more attention on your inner body, it's vibrational frequency increases comparatively.

---

In my opinion, you haven't tried things that could help. You have tried a lot, but you've missed some very important and frankly non-esoteric/spiritual ways of dealing with red/orange/yellow. I've suggested before trying out new activities in life so you start to find something you love, trying to find activities where you start to value yourself and love yourself more, standing up to your mother, and socializing more in groups (meetup.com). From your op, I'm not sure you have tried these. These activities may or may not be helpful for you. I can only tell you they were essential to my journey, in combination with my belief work.

This is where I believe I have done most of my work in the last few years or so. I've tried volunteering as well attending meetup groups, all for the purpose of being more comfortable around others and lessening my social anxieties (yellow ray I believe). But even with this work done I still often feel how Gemini describes. Always left wanting more. I feel like there is nothing I can't do in my life, and even though there is still some aversion to certain things, I can build up the strength to face these things. I still suck at socializing haha but I can do it if it is necessary. Im wondering if this shows a blockage. Does having a balanced yellow ray mean that you enjoy all social interactions without any discomfort or strain? Or does it mean you can socialise if need be, but that doesn't necesarily mean you will enjoy the interaction. If I want to talk with someone, I can do it. With all this said, of course I am closer now to where I want to be. Just wish things where a little clearer.

I can't speak for you, but I can say one thing I've noticed.

A significant amount of people in social situations have yellow ray blockages. Only those with extremely powerful yellow rays or identical personality/interests can generate excitement from these individuals. So realize that some of what you might be experiencing is in fact talking to people who also have yellow ray blockages, and that you'll feel them, and talking to them will feel draining for both parties.

A decent test is socializing with people who enjoy socializing. This isn't always easy to find. But you'll start to notice their energy - their enjoyment - is contagious, and that usually these types of people are very good at finding the commonalities between interests and personalities between you and them or themselves and the group and can bring out enjoyable interactions very easily. These types of people are a bit harder to find on meetup, but are certainly possible.

I used to think that I didn't enjoy socializing, but I came to realize it was mainly as a result of my own blockages in yellow, and as a result of the blockages of people I interacted with. The more I started to clear my own remaining blockages and also hang out with people with less blockages, the clearer this all began. And don't forget red and orange blockages also significantly affect yellow ray interactions, so they really do build upon one another. It's very difficult to learn yellow ray without doing the requisite red and orange work. Perhaps that might be an area of focus for you Folk-love.

And Folk-love, we all experience what GW experiences; it's a matter of degree. My degree, and even your degree of feeling unfulfilled are dramatically less than others. It's important to acknowledge that as we figure out how well we flow with our experience and how we can better learn the ways of love.

[Billy]

Wow, what you said about feeling other people's blockages is spot on. I've come to realise that my yellow ray blockages are most probably a result of orange ray blockages. In that I feel that I 'should' be charming, loving, considerate, artciculate and so on in all my interactions. I've slowly started letting go of these expectations of myself and I feel a great weight falling off of my shoulders. Someone doesn't like you? Big deal. Someone thinks you're an idiot? So be it. Someone thinks your a jerk? Let them. Does this mean that every chakra is reliant on the ones below it? Are there any yellow ray blockages which aren't related to lower blockages. Say for example you red and orange were balanced, would your yellow automatically be so. Im trying to think of an example of a yellow ray blockage in a person whose red and orange are fully balanced. Any ideas?

---

The feeling of wanting more comes from believing not doing anything is unacceptable.

I often feel guilt associated with not doing more to help the world and its people. How do you reconcile this with the fact that it requires being active in order to make a positive change in the lives of others?

[xise]

Im trying to think of an example of a yellow ray blockage in a person whose red and orange are fully balanced. Any ideas?

You can have a balanced red and orange, but if you have fixed expectation of how the social interaction/relationship "should" look like (yellow ray distortion that is somewhat unrelated to red or orange), you'll probably run into some yellow ray only blockages, especially if your thoughts on the interaction differ from others.

You usually see these with people in leadership (or any role within a group) who have strong ideas about how the group should behave, but then the group has different thoughts. A lack of acceptance and understanding of the particular yellow ray dynamics can be a blockage (ie, getting "fed up with society"), and result in a withdraw into solitary or purely orange experience as Ra describes.

[Billy]

I've thought of volunteering at a hospice, but feel that it may just increase my infatuation with death. Look at me hijacking Geminis thread. Sorry Gemini, but your post has struck a chord with me.

[xise]

I often feel guilt associated with not doing more to help the world and its people. How do you reconcile this with the fact that it requires being active in order to make a positive change in the lives of others?

Working and changing yourself is often a far more powerful method of serving others (by example) than giving a person a ride to the airport, for example.

Honestly, the world has everything it needs resource wise, the main thing that would serve the world the best is to show people how to evolve past their own distortions that continues to create hardship within this illusion. That may well be best accomplished by first working upon ourselves to unblock our positive flow, and then shining by example by whatever way we choose to interact with society.

---

Here I am posting on this board when I have a midterm tomorrow morning...the real world calls. bye for now

[Adonai One]

The feeling of wanting more comes from believing not doing anything is unacceptable.

I often feel guilt associated with not doing more to help the world and its people. How do you reconcile this with the fact that it requires being active in order to make a positive change in the lives of others?

You're not going to believe me but a positive change in the world is not going to come by any way of physical yellow-ray service (although it can augment service) but by helping people realize a choice in seeing all as one, universally loved and well in all moments.

I strongly believe this world is still going to have problems even when we resolve hunger and other survival needs.

The truest issue is people not loving themselves and others in the present moment.

The type of help that is advocated in physical resources is less than half of what is needed and that is actually looking into the hearts of people and acknowledging them for who they are -- not just the emptiness of their wallets.

We can be of inherent service to people if we just live our lives happily and show that happiness to others as we are naturally seen. It will carry from there.

42.7 ↥ Questioner: I would like to try to make an analogy for this in third density. Many entities here feel great compassion toward relieving the physical problems of third-density other-selves by administering to them in many ways, bringing them food if there is hunger as there is in the African nations now, bringing them medicine if they believe they require administering to them medically, and being selfless in all of these services to a very great extent.

This is creating a polarization or a vibration that is in harmony with green ray or fourth density. However, it is not balanced with the understanding of fifth density that these entities are experiencing catalyst and a more balanced administration to their needs would be to provide them with the learning necessary to reach the state of awareness of fourth density than it would be to administer to their physical needs at this time. Is this correct?

Ra: I am Ra. This is incorrect. To a mind/body/spirit complex which is starving, the appropriate response is the feeding of the body. You may extrapolate from this.

On the other hand, however, you are correct in your assumption that the green ray response is not as refined as that which has been imbued with wisdom. This wisdom enables the entity to appreciate its contributions to the planetary consciousness by the quality of its being without regard to activity or behavior which expects results upon visible planes.

[Billy]

The feeling of wanting more comes from believing not doing anything is unacceptable.

I often feel guilt associated with not doing more to help the world and its people. How do you reconcile this with the fact that it requires being active in order to make a positive change in the lives of others?

You're not going to believe me but a positive change in the world is not going to come by any way of physical yellow-ray service (although it can augment service) but by helping people realize a choice in seeing all as one, universally loved and well in all moments.

I strongly believe this world is still going to have problems even when we resolve hunger and other survival needs.

The truest issue is people not loving themselves and others in the present moment.

The type of help that is advocated in physical resources is less than half of what is needed and that is actually looking into the hearts of people and acknowledging them for who they are -- not just the emptiness of their wallets.

We can be of inherent service to people if we just live our lives happily and show that happiness to others as we are naturally seen. It will carry from there.

42.7 ↥ Questioner: I would like to try to make an analogy for this in third density. Many entities here feel great compassion toward relieving the physical problems of third-density other-selves by administering to them in many ways, bringing them food if there is hunger as there is in the African nations now, bringing them medicine if they believe they require administering to them medically, and being selfless in all of these services to a very great extent.

This is creating a polarization or a vibration that is in harmony with green ray or fourth density. However, it is not balanced with the understanding of fifth density that these entities are experiencing catalyst and a more balanced administration to their needs would be to provide them with the learning necessary to reach the state of awareness of fourth density than it would be to administer to their physical needs at this time. Is this correct?

Ra: I am Ra. This is incorrect. To a mind/body/spirit complex which is starving, the appropriate response is the feeding of the body. You may extrapolate from this.

On the other hand, however, you are correct in your assumption that the green ray response is not as refined as that which has been imbued with wisdom. This wisdom enables the entity to appreciate its contributions to the planetary consciousness by the quality of its being without regard to activity or behavior which expects results upon visible planes.

That was beautiful. Thank you.

[Stranger]

I've called out to Ra, to my spirit guide, to my social memory complex. To mother Earth. To myself. I've tried meditation, different kinds. Some visualizing, some silent. I've called out to my higher self, and to the Logos. I've visualized myself being rocked to sleep in a woman's arms, while she sings to me.

But nothing can help me find that inner peace that I am looking for. To where my energy isn't worn out. Honestly I am exhausted from being here. I've gone out in nature, laid under the stars. I've prayed to God. I've told negative entities to get out of my field, and called in Christ energy to help cleanse me. But nothing works. I am physically worn out. Mentally tired. I've served others when I can. And I try to tend to my needs.

What can I do when nothing else works? I've tried laughing, but that only works for a moment, and only when I find something funny. I think maybe my meds make me groggy. My body hurts it's so tired. And it's hard to hold a thought.

I am not plagued by negative thinking, but my thoughts just don't fulfill me. I'm thinking I want to get to the state of no thought. I want to rest on a higher plane.

Gemini, whenever there is dissatisfaction, it indicates imbalance, a lack of harmony. In our truest nature, we are even now in ultimate peace and love. Our personality blocks out certain aspects of the pure rainbow of being, and we are left consciously experiencing only a small subset of the total love that is our true self.

So I ask you to consider those things in your life which may be out of balance for you. Aspects of yourself or your situation which you have not yet faced, or have faced but haven't accepted. If we are fighting against (resenting, disapproving) or ignoring aspects of reality, we can't feel at peace. If we can't feel at peace, we can't feel the inner love that brings joy into our lives.

A vital aspect of reality that must be accepted is yourself, since you are present with yourself every waking moment. Kindness and a compassionate approach toward yourself is therefore absolutely essential, including kindness and acceptance toward the aspects of yourself and your experience which you would prefer not to have. Especially towards those aspects, in fact!

Loving-kindness and acceptance are truly the super balm of this Universe. It is possible to find this energy in any circumstances. I find it supremely helpful to view any apparently negative experience, first and foremost, as an exercise of my ability to find love. Everything else is illusory, but if you can find love in a tough spot, that resonates down to the very core of your total Being. And it brings you joy at the same time.

Best of luck to you, dear Gemini. Keep working at it and don't give up. Our entire purpose in this life is not to escape it, but to find heaven and bliss within in. It may seem impossible, but rest assured that it is always, always there waiting to be found.

I am asked to add this message for you: There is a great deal of love for you, love that is unconditional and joyous. You are being carried on the wings of angels through your difficulties, and many, many entities who care are there rooting for your success.

[Phoenix]

My solution thus far has been to rely on the holy spirit, and to stop thinking and appreciate the now. To get on with simple service based tasks when things overwhelm.

To me, some of these ideas of 'following your dreams' are a bit of a fallacy. The root of some of my problems I have perceived to be a kind of narcissism possibly, and I have had to resist things inside me that don't seem to have my best interests at heart.

When I say the holy spirit I mean an entity that it takes time to create a relationship with, not a single moment. I want a strong relationship with something loving and alive inside me. So rather than meditation, that empties a person, that there be love there to 'scare away the monsters'. I also have found Reiki to be a brilliant tool.

Also, consider carefully what you want to do with mentions of negativity in your creative work. Seems to have helped me a lot. Getting rid of some lines that seem to be very powerful triggers.

If you read the bible. The Psalms are very nice. Especially Psalm 143 might be relevant.