Going against higher self

[AnthroHeart]

Is it possible to go against our higher self's wishes? When we feel bad, is it because we are out of line from our higher self? Does our higher self always want what's "best" for us? How can it know what's best for us? It doesn't answer every prayer I pray. Say I've given up on life, and wish to die. It happens more times than I care to admit. I find solace in these thoughts though. Because I'm not sure if the higher self will act. I'm not feeling like this at the moment. But the thought/desire comes up quite often.

Does the higher self forbid certain magical acts? I don't feel I am violating anyone's free will. I know I sound like a broken record, but I'm curious.

If I am my own higher self, who's to say my wishes aren't also the wishes of the higher self?

I think what keeps me here is not the lack of power of the higher self to do such an act, but that I love you all, and would sorely be missed. Plus my mom and dogs would miss me.

Also, what about something taboo? I've heard if we're congruent with our taboo, then it's ok.

[Plenum]

70.11 Ra: I am Ra. This is incorrect. The Higher Self does not manipulate its past selves. It protects when possible and guides when asked, but the force of free will is paramount. The seeming contradictions of determinism and free will melt when it is accepted that there is such a thing as true simultaneity. The Higher Self is the end result of all the development experienced by the mind/body/spirit complex to that point.

[anagogy]

Is it possible to go against our higher self's wishes?

Only because its wish is for you to be happy.

When we feel bad, is it because we are out of line from our higher self?

Yes. If it would join you in your negative thoughts, you would feel just peachy when you had negative thoughts about yourself. But then there would be no development because you were blissed out on Higher Self drugs all the time. Thankfully, it doesn't do that.

Does our higher self always want what's "best" for us?

Yes.

How can it know what's best for us?

Because you know what is best for you. When you experience something you don't like, desires emanate from you. The Higher Self rides these desires to their probable conclusion outside of time and space as you know it. It then radiates the signal of it to you, the space/time analog. It lights up the trail for you, but you have to tune your thoughts to the signal it is offering.

When you tune your thoughts to the thoughts of your Higher Self (which are the vibrational culmination of all that you have expanded to based on your current experience of catalyst), you have tuned into your own personal frequency resonance vibration. That's like your own personal radio station of your soul essence. Then, the music that equals "YOU" plays on the radio of your life. The experiences that you are having are always a vibrational indicator of the thoughts you have been thinking, so when you think better thoughts, better things have to happen to you.

It doesn't answer every prayer I pray. Say I've given up on life, and wish to die. It happens more times than I care to admit. I find solace in these thoughts though. Because I'm not sure if the higher self will act. I'm not feeling like this at the moment. But the thought/desire comes up quite often.

It doesn't answer them because you are asking for things that don't really reflect who you have become. Also, it doesn't do the work for you, it just guides you vibrationally, which you vibrationally translate as emotion.

But if you find the thoughts, you have done the work, because physical experience is just thought that has evolved, due to attention, from the intangible and general, to the tangible and specific. It is the natural evolution of vibration. The inner is always eventually projected outward.

Does the higher self forbid certain magical acts? I don't feel I am violating anyone's free will. I know I sound like a broken record, but I'm curious.

No. Feel free to explore your curiosity, and the powers that the conscious universe has to offer the awakening personality.

If I am my own higher self, who's to say my wishes aren't also the wishes of the higher self?

They are. The Higher Self knows absolute wellbeing. You are one of its aspects that simply grooves one of its (many) specific instances of that. It is seeking expression through you, but even if you weren't around, it would still find expression in different formats. Read the Seth books for a better understanding of this.

I think what keeps me here is not the lack of power of the higher self to do such an act, but that I love you all, and would sorely be missed. Plus my mom and dogs would miss me.

I think in your heart you know that there is more to life than what you are currently experiencing, and that the ultimate satisfaction is not in checking out of the physical into the more harmonious nonphysical, but rather, learning to deliberately tune your vibration until your mastery is such, that your physical life becomes an honestation of the creator.

Also, what about something taboo? I've heard if we're congruent with our taboo, then it's ok.

A taboo is just a line that is not crossed for some reason or another.

If you are not hurting another, or yourself, the taboo is just 3rd density distortion being unraveled. So don't worry.

[AnthroHeart]

Thank you anagogy. You're always so helpful.
I find thoughts of the afterlife to be quite comforting.
I do find it hard though to tune into the frequency of my higher self.

Back when Carla wished to die, her kidneys failed, and she was given a 2nd chance at life. She had an NDE as far as I'm aware.
I'd like an NDE, but I don't have to have one if it's painful.

[Unbound]

Are you ever bored with your life Gemini?

[AnthroHeart]

Are you ever bored with your life Gemini?

Hey Tanner. I always appreciate your input. Yes, I get bored often. I try meditation, but I can't get deep and get restless. I can't meditate during work, and I only get from 5-9pm free to do the meditation. Even my meditations aren't that satisfying. Sometimes they amplify my sadness.

[Unbound]

What do you enjoy doing?

[AnthroHeart]

What do you enjoy doing?

I enjoy visiting this forum.

And thinking about what lies beyond, other densities, anthros, the afterlife, "home", my higher-d social memory complex, the Sub-Logos (sun), Ra.

I enjoy also dreaming, and sometimes reading. Occasionally I'll draw some artwork. And spending time with Loki, petting him or just watching him.

I enjoy thinking about death, even though that makes you upset. :-/

I like to meditate when I can get into it and it doesn't amplify my anxiety.

[Unbound]

So it seems to me your entire satisfaction in life comes from the experience of your thoughts?

[AnthroHeart]

Well it seems like satisfaction has to come from my thoughts, because nothing is really inherently satisfying except my dog Loki.
Well, and eating when I'm hungry. And using a q-tip in an itchy ear is somewhat satisfying. So is going to the bathroom. And masturbating. And drinking coffee sometimes. There are some activities outside of my thoughts that are satisfying.

But helping my mom do housework isn't really that satisfying. But completing a goal at work is. Completing a script or a project is satisfying because I can put it behind me.

[Unbound]

So satisfaction comes from relief?

[AnthroHeart]

So satisfaction comes from relief?

Yes, and hope.

[Unbound]

What does hope do?

[AnthroHeart]

It gives me the faith that something better awaits.

[Unbound]

Is that because things are not good now?

[AnthroHeart]

It just saddens me because of the veil, not feeling Creator's Unconditional Love, and being closer to everyone in my social memory complex than I am here on Earth. Where we are more than best friends. Where we are One. I miss the harmony. There is one in my life who is a disruption to me feeling well much of the time.

So things are ok. But I miss so much, I have a longing for "home". Thinking of home brings me comfort and satisfaction. But I can't generate happiness while I'm here. Even when I'm petting Loki, and get excited about him, I still have that inner sadness.

[Unbound]

What do you think your social memory complex would say about this? Do you think they would be sad at the fact that you seem to regret incarnating?

---

Why do you think your social memory complex chose you as an ambassador in incarnation?

[AnthroHeart]

I think they would still love me unconditionally. Something I can't reciprocate.
I don't think they feel sadness. But they would sympathize with me.

They probably chose me as an ambassador because it was my turn.
They saw it as an adventure, and I probably did too.

I do not sorely regret incarnating. I just have a longing for home.
Or maybe it's regret. I don't know. But I know it's for the best.
In the end, it will be worth it. But I'm impatient for the end.

[Unbound]

So where does that leave you? Are you going to spend your whole life dissatisfied and begrudging your time here? It seems like you are not even present in your life as you are so busy "everywhere else".

[AnthroHeart]

I don't begrudge my time here. I do what brings me satisfaction.

I am probably not as present as I could be though.

When I look at my avatar, it reminds me why I'm here.

[Unbound]

I suppose I just lack understanding because for myself even though I have plenty of awareness and memories of being on higher planes of existence I do not feel any particular urgency towards returning there. I trust myself in that if I came here, I probably did so for a reason. Then again, the whole first stage of my own spiritual development was all about developing patience, patience, patience. The Lesser Work of the Alchemist develops patience.

[AnthroHeart]

I suppose it's a treat to be in the limitations of 3D experience.
I can probably advance spiritually here if I have my mind in the right place.

I don't have memories of being on higher planes.

[Unbound]

One of my Dad's friends once expressed to me, "this is the only place in the entire universe where you can interact as directly and personally as this, the only place where we can physically be present and each be ourselves, where we can be together without losing sight of ourselves."

Ra says that catalyst is extra intense in this density because of the perception of separation, however they also say that the veil of separation was brought in because before there was no motivation towards greater balancing, nothing to act as incentive for exploration.

If you ask me, this is the ONLY place you can truly advance spiritually because all the "higher levels" are dependent upon what you choose to do here.

[AnthroHeart]

I don't usually dwell in negative thinking. I think about what brings me comfort. But I dwell on those thoughts. They might take me away from the present. I understand the importance of the veil, and I guess I am glad for it. I do want to advance spiritually. But I wonder how my line of thinking is affecting my polarity and my balance.

What choices I have made will have what affect on me in higher levels? I don't know.

I like what your dad's friend said. Like I said I am not frustrated with life. I just want something more.

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Why would she call the cops on you?

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(Also, I am going off-topic here so you can respond in the other thread we are talking in, if you like.)

Because I am her provider. I give her a place to live. If I left, she'd be homeless.

[Unbound]

So why not do something more?

[AnthroHeart]

That's going to be hard, because I don't have extra spending money. And there isn't much I enjoy doing.
I don't have motivation to do more. My interest lies with anthros, but they're not real.

[GentleReckoning]

I've found that the first best step is taking care of my body. I enjoy crunches because it feels like it's firing up all my lower chakras.

There was a time when I was completely focus'ed elsewhere as well, and simply exploring what it is your body enjoys doing is a great way to start enjoying where you are.

[Unbound]

Do you go out in nature much?

I don't know, man, it seems like you've pretty much locked yourself in place. You desire only things which appeal to the imagination and don't seem to have any interest in expanding.

I can imagine it is tough being the provider for your Mom although I don't think the cops could really do anything if you did decide to go your own way. I don't think I have any useful advice for you at this point, I guess just keep doin' what you're doin' aha

[Horuseus]

and simply exploring what it is your body enjoys doing is a great way to start enjoying where you are.

Thanks. I'll continue to masturbate now.

[AnthroHeart]

I'm sorry I seem so stuck. But I am happy.