05-08-2013, 08:35 PM
Someone that I know has passed away, has died. This saddens me. This person leaves two grownup children who struggle to except their mom's passing. https://www.facebook.com/groups/19386463...0/?fref=ts
This person's death reminds me of my own mortality. How will I die? Will it be painful? Will it be after a long painful illness? I am afraid to die. All my life I have been afraid to die. Yet at times I wanted to die.
The first time I had to deal with death I was 9 years old. A younger girl about 4 years old died while in a diabetic coma. I felt such a sense of loss. I talked to my mom about missing this person. She did not know what to say. I tried to talk to my dad later. He pretty much avoided saying anything.
So I grew up with this big emptiness inside of me. Every time I hear about someone dying that I knew, I am reminded of this emptiness. I don't recognize it as emptiness at first. Other emotions show up like shock, fear, anger. But then I come to this point where there is just emptiness, maybe loneliness. Eventually I just tuck it away somewhere until another day when it resurfaces. For some reason I have never learned to deal with death.
This person's death reminds me of my own mortality. How will I die? Will it be painful? Will it be after a long painful illness? I am afraid to die. All my life I have been afraid to die. Yet at times I wanted to die.
The first time I had to deal with death I was 9 years old. A younger girl about 4 years old died while in a diabetic coma. I felt such a sense of loss. I talked to my mom about missing this person. She did not know what to say. I tried to talk to my dad later. He pretty much avoided saying anything.
So I grew up with this big emptiness inside of me. Every time I hear about someone dying that I knew, I am reminded of this emptiness. I don't recognize it as emptiness at first. Other emotions show up like shock, fear, anger. But then I come to this point where there is just emptiness, maybe loneliness. Eventually I just tuck it away somewhere until another day when it resurfaces. For some reason I have never learned to deal with death.