Agoraphobia in regards to Wanderers

[Parsons]

Okay, so you are empathic and had trouble your whole life with experiencing negative emotions such as anxiety and anger when around someone experiencing that... So what is your solution besides shielding or turning this ability off to alleviate these emotions that are coming from the other person?

[AnthroHeart]

Is there a way to tell if we are picking up the negative emotions from another person, or if they are self-generated?

[zenmaster]

Okay, so you are empathic and had trouble your whole life with experiencing negative emotions such as anxiety and anger when around someone experiencing that... So what is your solution besides shielding or turning this ability off to alleviate these emotions that are coming from the other person?

Take responsibility for your life.

[reeay]

We may be experiencing this 'absorbing' when we recognize the same emotion or experience within us. That is our 'mirror-neurons' firing in the brain. Taking care of our distortions and unresolved issues could be long-term resolution to a problem compared to 'shielding' or other methods which would at best, may yield short-term benefits (tho shielding is useful skill to have).

[xise]

I am deeply empathetic. Parties often jar me for the first 10-20 minutes, then I adjust to the often chaotic energy. Individuals with strong emotion/energy do the same to be in small settings.

I have found however, that although I feel the feelings regardless, if its an emotion that I am close to balancing, the feeling is no longer discomforting. In fact, it feels as if I am a part of the other person experiencing that uncomfortable or negative emotion and help the person dissipate it. I don't know how better to explain it other than that.

However, that situation is rare for me. Most of the time, the strong energy/emotion I get from the other individual puts me off balance, and I feel stuck with more balancing of myself to do, and overall it just feels shitty.

So I guess I can say that I understand what zenny is saying from personal experience. It's almost kind of like how negative contacts occur when there is a chink in your armor, my seemingly naturally empathetic abilities are only uncomfortable if I haven't really fully balanced that emotion, and in fact when it comes upon an emotion I've made significant work on balancing, I almost feel as if I am crystal helping the other person dissipate those energies. Unfortunately, this only seems to work with depressive feelings (I have wayyy too much experience in that haha). However, for me, anger, frustration, and irritation still sends me in a spiral.

[Aureus]

Being overly empathic screams top-heaviness, your upper chakras are probably more developed than your lower ones.

[Parsons]

Okay, so you are empathic and had trouble your whole life with experiencing negative emotions such as anxiety and anger when around someone experiencing that... So what is your solution besides shielding or turning this ability off to alleviate these emotions that are coming from the other person?

Take responsibility for your life.

Answer my question instead of avoiding it with your insulting assumption, otherwise your words are completely empty/meaningless.

So I guess I can say that I understand what zenny is saying from personal experience. It's almost kind of like how negative contacts occur when there is a chink in your armor, my seemingly naturally empathetic abilities are only uncomfortable if I haven't really fully balanced that emotion, and in fact when it comes upon an emotion I've made significant work on balancing, I almost feel as if I am crystal helping the other person dissipate those energies. Unfortunately, this only seems to work with depressive feelings (I have wayyy too much experience in that haha). However, for me, anger, frustration, and irritation still sends me in a spiral.

Read again, he never stated he has personally experienced this. He probably hasn't or has never recognized it. So he is projecting the black and white solution to take responsibility for absolutely everything. He doesn't even believe in telepathy/ESP as he has revealed in his thoughts in the Dean Radin thread. It's ironic that he would say take responsibility for my life when I have always done that (to a fault in some instances).

[Meerie]

Okay, so you are empathic and had trouble your whole life with experiencing negative emotions such as anxiety and anger when around someone experiencing that... So what is your solution besides shielding or turning this ability off to alleviate these emotions that are coming from the other person?

Take responsibility for your life.

Answer my question instead of avoiding it with your insulting assumption, otherwise your words are completely empty/meaningless.

Parsons, allow me to chime in ... I understood what zenmaster says here as good advice actually and not insulting. From how I understand it, he means it that you are responsible for your reaction to these things? you are not responsible for the emotions that someone else "gives off" obviously. "taking responsibility", aka realizing that it is up to you how you react, might be the first step.
just my two cents of course.
and when I say "you" I mean myself just as much as anyone else, because I can relate to that problem too...

[Plenum]

well, looks like its good old cognitive distortions time.

really zen, do you really think throwing off zingy one-liners is really all that helpful?

I mean, it doesn't hurt to take the time to be a bit more expansive, share some of your personal experience. Especially in a medium where tone is hard to read, and potential for misunderstandings is rife.

if your intent is to teach that is, rather than to injure.

I've seen that you've received this type of feedback from more than one individual in recent weeks. It's up to you if you choose to continue ignoring this catalyst.

[xise]

well, looks like its good old cognitive distortions time.

really zen, do you really think throwing off zingy one-liners is really all that helpful?

I mean, it doesn't hurt to take the time to be a bit more expansive, share some of your personal experience. Especially in a medium where tone is hard to read, and potential for misunderstandings is rife.

if your intent is to teach that is, rather than to injure.

I've seen that you've received this type of feedback from more than one individual in recent weeks. It's up to you if you choose to continue ignoring this catalyst.

It's easy to see catalyst for other people. It's hard to see catalyst for oneself.

This pattern seems to repeat in what I observe of others, as well as myself.

[reeay]

I'm in complete agreement with Meerie. It's simply a general comment... taking responsibility for oneself without externalizing the blame to someone else or something else. Common sense. It's part of the process of maturity.

The reaction elicited from a general comment here was really interesting - that the comment itself was understood as an insult that was directed at a particular person. Why take this so personally? Has it touched some personal distortion that you are working through or becoming aware of?

[zenmaster]

Okay, so you are empathic and had trouble your whole life with experiencing negative emotions such as anxiety and anger when around someone experiencing that... So what is your solution besides shielding or turning this ability off to alleviate these emotions that are coming from the other person?

Take responsibility for your life.

Answer my question instead of avoiding it with your insulting assumption, otherwise your words are completely empty/meaningless.

That's funny, your words were rather empty/meaningless to me, yet I still responded.

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I mean, it doesn't hurt to take the time to be a bit more expansive, share some of your personal experience. Especially in a medium where tone is hard to read, and potential for misunderstandings is rife.

I'm not here to share my personal experience.

if your intent is to teach that is, rather than to injure.

plenum, something about "negative interpretation of catalyst"?

[Meerie]

I mean, it doesn't hurt to take the time to be a bit more expansive, share some of your personal experience. Especially in a medium where tone is hard to read, and potential for misunderstandings is rife.

I'm not here to share my personal experience.

Why not? Isn't that what we are all here for?

[Meerie]

and absorbing - STS (to the inside, to the self)
and radiating - STO (to the outside, to others)
I mean that without judgment, just as a means of dealing with energies?
since self and others are ultimately one, anyways

Although I agree, the simplification of absorbing and radiating has always seemed as if it has issues in this regard. Is it self-serving to feel other people's emotions. I can see how it would be self-serving to force your negative ones on others.

Just a thought. Is absorbing/radiating a stretch of the analogy in this context, or is there more too it that I don't understanding?

I have no clue... and I never resonated with STS and STO as often presented here anyways, implying STO as good and STS as bad.
I think we should strive for balance honestly, because how can you love someone else if you don't love yourself in the first place? so that would make my "choice" more around 50 : 50 I guess? serve the self and serve others equally?
Not enough! the sinkhole of indifference as some Ra disciples would say.
I don't care.
As I said I was trying to explain this without any kind of judgment, just the idea I had about it.

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forget what I just said about 50 : 50, numbers in that context make me cringe anyways...
just love.
Yourself and others. As much as possible.