Singles / Dating

[Meerie]

Lol Nina!
sorry for ranting so much today but in a way it is good to let off steam.

I think I never encountered more nice men than most of the male posters on this forum, lol.
If the guys I knew in person here in Germany were like that I guess I wouldn't be such a bitter spinster.
You know what imo the worst part about "mainstream" men is? lol
Inability to communicate and lack of open-mindedness.
On this forum, which wasn't even about dating, some guy who had registered but made no posts pmd me and asked if we could meet up. So I am in Germany and he said he didn't live far from Munich and would go there soon.
I had written a lot of stuff already and my photo was online so he "knew" me but I had zero info about him! So I asked and tried to establish some kinda contact because I was curious as to what sort of person he was. And you know what, he didn't even give me his name, he didn't say anything about what he was doing, his age, etc.
Now is that creepy or isn't it??? Would you have agreed to meet him?
lol
About the open-mindedness, this other guy when I was still in my online dating phase, we pmd and since I am into astrology, I asked if he could give me his birth data since I am interested in doing birthcharts and I would do his.
He replied and said he thought it was rather "primitive" asking for stuff like that and then he asked that I send him my pictures.
Ok. thanks for telling me right away that your sign of the zodiac is "a******", so I won't waste anymore time. Lol
He would even have gotten a free chart from me! others charge for that.

[Patrick]

I don't think relationships are supposed to go too well or be too comfortable, at least not on this planet at this time. My fiancee is not awake at all, she has quite a temper and no patience. She provides me with tons of catalysts. She says that I am an angel that came from heaven just for her.

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...
He would even have gotten a free chart from me! others charge for that.

Do you still offer to make charts ? I could be interested. It doesn't even have to be free.

[AnthroHeart]

I'd probably have a hard time in a relationship. I know when my mom gets angry and outbursts in front of me, I get angry too, and get violent thoughts. I don't know if I'm just picking up her energy.

But with someone who doesn't act immature, I'd probably have a better time.
I'm not really desiring a relationship though, since I don't feel it would fulfill me, at least the way the world is now.

[Patrick]

...I know when my mom gets angry and outbursts in front of me, I get angry too, and get violent thoughts. I don't know if I'm just picking up her energy...

This is great catalyst. The goal is to learn not to react. You can react mentally, but the goal is to not manifest a negative reaction toward your other self.

If you manage to not react, you'll see that your other self will get even more angry from this (Eckhart Tolle explains this effect very well). Since you succeeded, the difficulty level automatically increases. Like I said, I do not believe we are here to have it easy.

[AnthroHeart]

Yeah, I don't react towards her, or at least I don't think I do. But once her tantrum is over, she usually goes to her room.
I'd like to get to where it doesn't bother me inside either. I don't think she's directing it at me, but the situation. She usually doesn't express anger towards me. But she does seem to get frustrated when I sometimes don't do what she tells me to do. I mean, I want to be service to others, but sometimes I feel like she's trying to control me.

[Meerie]

I don't think relationships are supposed to go too well or be too comfortable, at least not on this planet at this time.

True, but one still has to draw the line somewhere, to avoid being a doormat for the other persons frustrations.
For me I am clearly not going to tolerate physical or verbal abuse from a partner anymore.

[Patrick]

She is also very kind and genuine. It's a nice contrast. I'm addicted to it I think.

[BlatzAdict]

there should be a Law of One dating site.. hmmm

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though if there was one i think all the good ones would be snatched up

I like this format, it's like the wild west.. lol depends on how tenacious you are

thanks for giving me hope guys

[Meerie]

She is also very kind and genuine. It's a nice contrast. I'm addicted to it I think.

Sorry I didn't mean you specifically, when I wrote "you still have to draw the line somewhere".. I meant "you" in the general sense. Like "one", you know?
or isn't "you" used in that sense in english? I thought it was...
I edited my other post to make it "one", instead of "you" now
Screw language, lol

[reeay]

I see possibilities of "spinsterhood..." for myself. me and my 30 cats living in a house... neighbors telling their kids "that lady is eccentric." lol

[GentleReckoning]

I see possibilities of "spinsterhood..." for myself. me and my 30 cats living in a house... neighbors telling their kids "that lady is eccentric." lol

It's ok. Those are 30 cats that will reincarnate in 3 dimensional bodies whereas otherwise they might have had many more cycles in 2d left to go.

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Instead of Cat lady, they will call you Savior of our Feline Friends.

[reeay]

LOL omg love that GentleReckoning

[Patrick]

She is also very kind and genuine. It's a nice contrast. I'm addicted to it I think.

Sorry I didn't mean you specifically, when I wrote "you still have to draw the line somewhere".. I meant "you" in the general sense. Like "one", you know?
or isn't "you" used in that sense in english? I thought it was...
I edited my other post to make it "one", instead of "you" now
Screw language, lol

All is well my friend. I did not feel targeted.

[reeay]

Instead of Cat lady, they will call you Savior of our Feline Friends.

You are very kind to re-frame it in such a positive & noble way, I thank you

[GentleReckoning]

You are very kind to re-frame it in such a positive & noble way, I thank you

Being kind to you is being kind to me!

Went on a walk while thinking about this, and I feel as though a good way to manifest a SO would be to manifest someone for a relationship that you would be attracted to, yet would have significant catalyst for you to experience and grow from.

I say that because, as many have already noted, sexual matings are one of our biggest opportunities for catalyst/growth on this plane.

[reeay]

Is there not a law that is a companion to the law of manifestation? Namely that you vibrate at a certain frequency, thus you attract that experience? Then it is possible, that when attempts to manifest the ideal mate while being frustrated in finding someone (which many of us have experienced in our lifetime), we merely attract what becomes a frustrated/discontented experience in a relationship?

Is there a point to that common advice, "stop looking." That those who seek deep within and find a sense of contentedness in aloneness, may, without actively searching, meet an optimal experience for a compatible catalyst?

[AnthroHeart]

Good points there Rie. I try to manage a balance between seeking/looking and letting the universe be free to do it's work by clearing my mind. I try not to obscess over what I am seeking. This is also in terms of spirituality. I don't take my spirituality too seriously. I try to have fun.

[GentleReckoning]

Is there not a law that is a companion to the law of manifestation? Namely that you vibrate at a certain frequency, thus you attract that experience? Then it is possible, that when attempts to manifest the ideal mate while being frustrated in finding someone (which many of us have experienced in our lifetime), we merely attract what becomes a frustrated/discontented experience in a relationship?

Is there a point to that common advice, "stop looking." That those who seek deep within and find a sense of contentedness in aloneness, may, without actively searching, meet an optimal experience for a compatible catalyst?

That is more or less what I did. For 8 years, I didn't attempt relations with the opposite sex as I knew internally that I wanted to be at a certain place before I put myself in a position to feel such incredibly strong love for another being. I'm there now, and now I need to jump back into the firmament as much of my growth was contemplative in nature and created a separation from the hooks and strings that I feel manifestation uses.

For example, you may have a difficult time manifesting a porsche to drive if you spent all of your time meditating in the Himalayas (though not impossible!). Similar to that, I feel as though the more connections you make with other people, the easier time reality has bending to the will of it's young creators.

[reeay]

GeminiWolf: That's such a great point you made about balance, GeminiWolf. More balanced seeking/looking rather than the emotionally loaded kind of looking. There's no attachment to outcome or intent but acceptance in just going with the flow and having fun while at it.

That is more or less what I did. For 8 years, I didn't attempt relations with the opposite sex as I knew internally that I wanted to be at a certain place before I put myself in a position to feel such incredibly strong love for another being. I'm there now, and now I need to jump back into the firmament as much of my growth was contemplative in nature and created a separation from the hooks and strings that I feel manifestation uses.

You have courage. For me, it's a danger in "being in love" with the seeking and remaining on the ideological/internal plane... What do you mean by the "hooks and strings"?

For example, you may have a difficult time manifesting a porsche to drive if you spent all of your time meditating in the Himalayas (though not impossible!). Similar to that, I feel as though the more connections you make with other people, the easier time reality has bending to the will of it's young creators.

Agreed, though seems difficult to be amongst others who share similar interests/values etc. these days.

[GentleReckoning]

I explained the hooks and strings in the very next sentence. Basically each connection you make with another human being increases the ways that you as a creator can manifest your desires in this density.

"Agreed, though seems difficult to be amongst others who share similar interests/values etc. these days."

I have a friend that literally gets drunk and high as often as possible during his free time. All he talks about are past events. He is a friend from my childhood that I am trying to reconnect with as an avenue for my growth. I've found that if I ever feel a strong disconnect around him due to him being solidly of this illusion, I just send him love/light and always I'll more easily be a part of the interaction.

Ymmv

[Cyan]

I explained the hooks and strings in the very next sentence. Basically each connection you make with another human being increases the ways that you as a creator can manifest your desires in this density.

"Agreed, though seems difficult to be amongst others who share similar interests/values etc. these days."

I have a friend that literally gets drunk and high as often as possible during his free time. All he talks about are past events. He is a friend from my childhood that I am trying to reconnect with as an avenue for my growth. I've found that if I ever feel a strong disconnect around him due to him being solidly of this illusion, I just send him love/light and always I'll more easily be a part of the interaction.

Ymmv

I would never have thought that this is how the universe actually shows its love to people. =)

[Icipher]

There's a lot of wisdom in this thread. As for a LOO dating service, the only issue is location. Not all of us are in NJ, or Germany, or what-have-you. The trick is how to find seekers in our area...hmm.

[Cyan]

There's a lot of wisdom in this thread. As for a LOO dating service, the only issue is location. Not all of us are in NJ, or Germany, or what-have-you. The trick is how to find seekers in our area...hmm.

I dont know abou tyou, but i've already figured out the future steps i want to take over the next 40 years to bring a utopian paradise to everyone. I dont need seekers in specific, i need people I find interesting, seekrs happen to be interesting, so are any kind of really odd people. Dont be so exclusive

[reeay]

If you seek interesting, creative, and odd people, you should try San Francisco lol.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
~Kahlil Gibran~

[Confused]

Lol there should be a LOO dating site! Lol

Well, I think that is intent behind this thread, started by a very thoughtful b4th committee

[BlatzAdict]

Is there not a law that is a companion to the law of manifestation? Namely that you vibrate at a certain frequency, thus you attract that experience? Then it is possible, that when attempts to manifest the ideal mate while being frustrated in finding someone (which many of us have experienced in our lifetime), we merely attract what becomes a frustrated/discontented experience in a relationship?

Is there a point to that common advice, "stop looking." That those who seek deep within and find a sense of contentedness in aloneness, may, without actively searching, meet an optimal experience for a compatible catalyst?

i really really wish i could apply this.. but seeing my ex with another man makes all of that go away. and i wonder if this is polarizing me as STS

a bit sad now thinking of it.

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If you seek interesting, creative, and odd people, you should try San Francisco lol.

believe it or not it's very hard to meet people in SF
everyone is very flakey and egotistical.

hell i was too when i was living there, maybe i still am

[reeay]

i really really wish i could apply this.. but seeing my ex with another man makes all of that go away. and i wonder if this is polarizing me as STS

a bit sad now thinking of it.

Yeah it's hard to even believe we could get over something... I think it's important to do what you feel you need to do to learn about healing self (e.g., look, experience other relationships, broaden your perspective on relationships/self knowledge through intimate relationships). As some say, you can't change what happens to you but you may shift what that experience means to you. And when we shift how we feel about an experience and what that experience means to us, we may be shifting our present, past, and future self and how they experience the breakup/past relationship.

believe it or not it's very hard to meet people in SF
everyone is very flakey and egotistical.

hell i was too when i was living there, maybe i still am

lol yeah I understand what you're saying - I found that image was important in SF.

[GentleReckoning]

I just emailed an ex, a friend's ex, and texted a friend. All female.

This is the thread for me.

[reeay]

lol what are you talking about GentleReckoning?

[Huntress]

As some say, you can't change what happens to you but you may shift what that experience means to you. And when we shift how we feel about an experience and what that experience means to us, we may be shifting our present, past, and future ......

This is a very concise yet thorough description of what I personally have been trying to accomplish for the past year & a 1/2. I find this wise advice. Thanks!