What are you afraid of (spiritually)?

[sunnysideup]

Keep your head up, Confused.

"This place is a dream. Only a sleeper considers it real. Then death comes like dawn,
and you wake up laughing at what you thought was your grief."
- Rumi

[AnthroHeart]

The near death experience accounts of people give me confidence that the afterlife isn't indifferent or meaningless. Something I look forward to.

---

Envious of you, Parsons. To know one's firm platform is such a blessing. Sadly, I lost it in the hail of severe catalysts that stormed my life. Have become quite cynical and bitter deeply inside, which infects most of my interpretations of almost everything.

That is why I now feel envious of people who know and naturally own their connection to their inner chord of spirituality.

I too am not absolutely certain about my spirituallity. I just take it on faith. Who knows if the Ra material is truth? And even some of the new age stuff.

[Adonai One]

The Ra Material: Book IV studied intensely is all that is need for proof of it being true.

[AnthroHeart]

Keep your head up, Confused.

"This place is a dream. Only a sleeper considers it real. Then death comes like dawn,
and you wake up laughing at what you thought was your grief."
- Rumi

Thanks for the quote. It made my day. Today I am feeling a little anxious. I wanted death last night. Grief describes some of my life very well. Couldn't find the right word before. Oh well, just got to make it through today, and have a long weekend with Monday off for vacation as well. I don't plan to do much.

Death really is the dawn.

[AnthroHeart]

Like someone else said, I am afraid that my spiritual beliefs are just comforts and that the Universe is really an indifferent place.

[Parsons]

Confused, I almost always initially feel that way when greeted by extremely harsh catalyst. But after I have a chance to process it, I oftentimes smile at even the harshest catalyst. I always end up feeling that it must have been a lesson I really needed to learn.

Sometimes I am also assaulted by a bunch of catalyst and I don't get a chance to passively/easily process it. By the end of the day, I am sometimes ready to throw a tantrum or sulk. Those are the days where I actively/manually process the catalyst by going through each one asking myself a question related to each ray (eg, how did this situation effect my red-ray survival? How did this situation effecty orange-ray sense of self? etc). It is often difficult and uncomfortable to get through initially, but a few minutes after I'm done, I feel as though a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Sometimes a catalyst will be overlooked and I will remember it days or even weeks later and I will go back and manually process it. I noticed it can have a profound effect on my general disposition towards life.

[AnthroHeart]

I'm not usually met with very harsh catalyst. Although my truck did need some major maintenance, and it broke down once. I just saw these as a nuisance, rather than getting flustered by them.

I try not to let the small things get to me.

Sunnysideup, that quote by Rumi was very wise. I will enjoy laughing at what I thought was grief and regret and guilt.

[Confused]

Keep your head up, Confused.

"This place is a dream. Only a sleeper considers it real. Then death comes like dawn,
and you wake up laughing at what you thought was your grief."
- Rumi

Thank you so much for the encouragement, sunnysideup

I will attempt to persevere to see the face of the ONE behind everything.

---

Confused, I almost always initially feel that way when greeted by extremely harsh catalyst. But after I have a chance to process it, I oftentimes smile at even the harshest catalyst. I always end up feeling that it must have been a lesson I really needed to learn.

Sometimes I am also assaulted by a bunch of catalyst and I don't get a chance to passively/easily process it. By the end of the day, I am sometimes ready to throw a tantrum or sulk. Those are the days where I actively/manually process the catalyst by going through each one asking myself a question related to each ray (eg, how did this situation effect my red-ray survival? How did this situation effecty orange-ray sense of self? etc). It is often difficult and uncomfortable to get through initially, but a few minutes after I'm done, I feel as though a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Sometimes a catalyst will be overlooked and I will remember it days or even weeks later and I will go back and manually process it. I noticed it can have a profound effect on my general disposition towards life.

Thank you for sharing that, Parsons. That, indeed, sounds like a very disciplined spiritual effort that teachers like Ra would probably commend as good practice.

I think its effectiveness lies in the fact that the practice, like you have provided description of it, will allow for a culture of non-judgment or enlightened understanding to develop, both in terms of the self and other selves. Very often, more than the catalyst, it is the pain of things done in haste and said in spite that keeps rattling in the cage of the mind, festering like a wound that chips away one's elan.

[AnthroHeart]

I don't get terrified of anything unless I have a schizophrenic episode. One time I thought my friend was going to use power tools against me. But I told myself that he wouldn't do that. One time I thought I was being teleported into a star, and saw everything going red. Once I thought I was being microwaved, though I wasn't too scared because there wasn't pain.
Once I thought the center of the Earth was a black hole, and I could feel a gravitational pull on myself, and that distortion hurt my body. Once I thought that my chakras were being teleported to the stars, very dense stars, and that I would feel pain. When I was lying in jail, I thought the overhead lights were turning into heaters and that I would be burned alive. On a number of occasions I thought I was headed to hell rapidly.

Once I thought I was in the sun, but at that time I only felt a mild heat, where it did heat up a few times in hot patches, but I wasn't afraid then. I thought I was seeing my distortions and that I was visiting Ra.

[AnthroHeart]

Maybe I'm afraid of being judged by God at the end of my life, and not being worthy.

Or there being an afterlife, but I would forever be unloved.

I am afraid that the Universe isn't inherently loving.

[AnthroHeart]

That there isn't an afterlife, and we just blink into nothingness. But I guess it wouldn't matter then.
I don't really believe this, but I have an atheist friend, and I respect his beliefs.

[ascension scout]

That is why I now feel envious of people who know and naturally own their connection to their inner chord of spirituality.

Me too. I am also a little jealous of people who have had ufo experiences/contacts-that triggered their awakening. Like I don't matter enough to be contacted. That's silly, I know....but I feel it.

I fear that I wasted years of my life as a drug addict, giving me a 'late start' on my spiritual path.

I fear that I won't have time to fully understand and balance my pre-incarnative life lessons.

I fear that I don't understand my desires and that the resultant manifestations will rebound as harsh catalysts.

"Mistakes aren't permanent, failure isn't fatal."

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” -FH

[Confused]

Me too. I am also a little jealous of people who have had ufo experiences/contacts-that triggered their awakening. Like I don't matter enough to be contacted. That's silly, I know....but I feel it.

I understand what you mean there, ascension scout.

The feeling of being left out and cut away as insignificant is one of the most gaping holes in my soul that I am faced with, too. It feeds the mind with self righteous anger and fear, which turns into an addiction that poisons every part of intersection with the external world.

[Horuseus]

I fear that I wasted years of my life as a drug addict, giving me a 'late start' on my spiritual path.

I fear that I won't have time to fully understand and balance my pre-incarnative life lessons.

Well, it all depends on perspective. I would actually argue that your years as an 'addict' was part of your path and lessons. What did you learn from the experience? That was the purpose of it. Perhaps in the years to come by you may find yourself helping another who is in a similar situation, with your experience being vital in assisting and serving said individual. If you hadn't gone through those motions yourself, others may not have benefited from what you have to share. We tend not to realise at the time, but there is purpose to ones situation.

Often we go in at the 'deep end' so that when we do consciously realise a given programmed path, we accelerate towards the other end, often much faster than we would have done without such experiences in the first place. Someone who has experienced 'lack', is likely to be much more motivated and move quicker than someone who has always been comfortable in that respect.

Re the contact stuff. Honestly, I felt the same way initially. While not quite towards the ET phenomena, but seemingly needing actual to my face 'proof' that I was on the right track to validate it all. I have since realised that it takes much more strength, courage and faith to believe without the need for such proof. It's a rewarding experience, and you will find validation naturally comes when you do not actively seek it later on.

Look inwards rather than outwards, it's all there.

[BlatzAdict]

after trying trance channeling i dunno. negative contact comes in the form of twisting you at the places where you're weakest.
and so you end up dealing with emotional complexes stemming from those very chakras they keep hitting u at.

[ascension scout]

I would actually argue that your years as an 'addict' was part of your path and lessons. What did you learn from the experience? That was the purpose of it.

Yes.....yes. I did learn stuff. I likely would not have stumbled across the Law of One if I was not up all night watching videos on Project Camelot. I would not have gone through the process of sobering up and learning to take control of my life. I also would not appreciate being sober as I do today. I should appreciate the acceleration of my current path more, thank you!

Re the contact stuff. Honestly, I felt the same way initially. While not quite towards the ET phenomena, but seemingly needing actual to my face 'proof' that I was on the right track to validate it all. I have since realised that it takes much more strength, courage and faith to believe without the need for such proof. It's a rewarding experience, and you will find validation naturally comes when you do not actively seek it later on.

Look inwards rather than outwards, it's all there.

As I was initially typing that line about being jealous of contactees, I was thinking how 'ye of little faith' that sounded. Because really that's all I desire is a little validation. Faith over intellect is a work in progress!

"Faith is the conscious tool of the intellect used to link your intellect, which is a rather weak tool, with your intuition and your deeper awarenesses, which are very strong tools, but about which you know nothing intellectually." -Hatonn

"It is ironic, is it not, that in the search for truth the answers lie not in discovering that which can be known, but in discovering that the secrets to the mystery of transformation lie in unknowing and faith. Faith is the most powerful force in the universe, it being another name for realized or positively realized love. You live in a universe made of love. " -Q'uo

[Adonai One]

It is not properly a fear but I have discomfort with people who impose absolutes on relationships and never allow any discussion or questioning on those absolutes.

[AnthroHeart]

I have discomfort of how my eventual death would affect my loved ones.

[Alexis]

My thoughts go to some dark places that I wouldn't wish for anyone to experience. So my fear is that because my mind has created the idea, that I have also created someone's reality.

[Karl]

I fear myself.

[AnthroHeart]

My thoughts go to some dark places that I wouldn't wish for anyone to experience. So my fear is that because my mind has created the idea, that I have also created someone's reality.

Yeah, sometimes it's hard to believe that every thought we have is created somewhere in another reality. Another density perhaps.

[Unbound]

I realized just now that my greatest fear is for something to happen while my attention is elsewhere and to miss on the opportunity to help. I fear walking away or taking a path away from others in that if something happens and they need support and I am not around to give it, I don't know how to deal with that feeling of helplessness. Perhaps this is why I feel so helpless in the world because really, there is much I am sheer-ly incapable of helping and it breaks my heart.

[AnthroHeart]

I wish I had the heart to want to help others more. I am often lazy.
Or I try to take the easy way out.
But my love for others is there.
Even if I might not do things for them, I still can love them.

I saw a guy who looked like Jesus to me when I was at the mental hospital.
I hugged him and cried. Later he washed my feet with water.
I thought he was Jesus. I was in that state.

[isis]

people

[Reaper]

Most of my fears all go back to the same place- a fear of disappointing myself. Being super-critical of both myself and others is a trait that has clung to me like glue through this lifetime, and ultimately I fear my own expectations more than any contrived sense of outward judgment.

[Diana]

It is not a fear but a concern: That I will not have the courage or fortitude to positively navigate through the suffering here in order to complete my mission if I have one, or fulfill what I came to do. I think sometimes of being on the "other side" saying, Dang! Why didn't I just suck it up and finish the job?! 

[APeacefulWarrior]

Fear of somehow losing contact with my higher selves, now that I've finally found them.

(Luckily, it doesn't seem likely. )

[Matt1]

I think my fear is being alone but i accept it as a possibility knowing that it is only an illusion.

[Zachary]

I mean this on a spiritual basis. I could say I'm afraid of doing poorly at work and losing my job, but I want something that's deeper.

I'm afraid of losing my mind. That I might act outside of myself and hurt someone. That I might end up in a place mentally that rocks my world again, like it had in the past. I'm afraid of the times when I think all the bad stuff is my fault.

In "Spirit of the Forest" they accidentally set fire to their clubhouse, and I was blaming myself for that. I thought if I went up in the densities too quickly that I would torch my creation.

I am slightly afraid of creation, that what I create might not be what I like. I am afraid of being swallowed by a black hole spiritually.

I'm afraid that after all this hard work, that I won't be good enough. That somehow I'll fail, and have to do it all again.

I'm afraid of when I think I'm in heaven, that it's not real, and can cause me to make rash decisions. Once I was about to drive and leave for Colorado. I would have lost everything. But I thought I had died and gone to heaven, so driving to Colorado was expected of me. I would have lost my dog Loki, and possibly my life. I'm not scared of death, but I'm not too big on dying. From what I hear wolfdogs are illegal in Colorado. One county over from me they are illegal as well.

I am afraid that if I wandered that maybe I wandered from a negative planet, and would have to return there after my life is done. I am afraid of my life review and the pain I'll have to feel of everyone and every animal I have hurt.

I am afraid that I don't have enough love for everyone. That my love is conditional. That I find it hard to open my heart enough. I fear that I might never again feel that wonderful unconditional love in my heart that I once felt.

But most of all I'm afraid that I might never be able to go home, being a wanderer forever. That maybe I totally gave up my previous life to wander endlessly.

Why do I wonder things like this? I don't know.

Gemini Wolf, 

Are you willing to take full responsibility for your thoughts and actions, even a midst the difficulty of mental health challenges?

Will you continue you to adopt the victim mindset, and is it really serving you? 

Seeing yourself as the victim will never satisfy you. It will only perpetuate the fearful thoughts you have. You can keep doing it of course...its your life. 

But at some point you will realize...whether in this life or another life...that "hey, if I don't like being in this space that im in I have to put in EFFORT and DISCIPLE into creating the state that I DO want for myself.

Heres the thing. Yes life can be very difficult. Yes, You are afraid of things. So are many many other people...but what separates those who find peace and move to higher states of being and those who continue to drift aimlessly is WILL and DISCIPLINE. That means...when your feeling down...don't cry about it, don't complain about it....but say..."I realize I am down right now, but I am going to do everything I can in my power to find peace within myself. I will let go of these fearful thoughts and find my center before acting. I am not the body, I am Spirit and I have the tools I need to live a happy, peaceful life." Discipline means, even if you don't FEEL LIKE IT..or your so down you feel you can't see the light, you still make positive affirmations to yourself and you still STRIVE to maintain clarity and peace of mind. 

STO.... Consider how it affects others before you feel like indulging self destructive thoughts patterns. Many people see what is going on with you. We understand you have difficulties. People want to help you but you have to want to help yourself. If you don't want to help yourself...but constantly seek 'help' from others...people may find that draining and loose the desire to reach out or take your word seriously.

Stop feeding the victim mindset...stop feeding your fearful thoughts. I know you are strong enough to find peace within yourself Gemini Wolf, LONG TERM. It will take EFFORT and consistency and NOBODY is going to rescue you...not in this life or the next. We are all working on ourselves, all with our own unique and similar challenges. If we all adopted a negative mindset these forums wouldn't even exist. Imagine what the people who keep these forums go through and have gone through to give you this avenue of expression. You better believe they have been "challenged", just like you Gemini...maybe not in the exact same way...but do not take for granted the lives of others.

Your too lazy to help others? DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT or accept that you choose to be lazy.

You wish this you wish that, wish all you want but what are you going to do about it?

The Choice is Yours. 

[AnthroHeart]

I made a promise on this site not to complain so much before. I hope to reaffirm that promise.
I appreciate all your help.