Would You? A Contemplation on Life,

[VanAlioSaldo]

I think it's a trauma thing, on a traumatizing world.  Not so much a Wanderer thing as it is a Human thing.

There's a lot of people with it, but surely not the larger % of society. It seems more misunderstood than experienced. That's my observation.

I feel like it might be more understood than we actually realize, and that it is just simply not an openly spoken about thing nor spoken about even in personal settings.  I've many things that are traumatic to me that I have never talked to anyone about.  But I also literally do not know, I handle anxiety by avoiding situations.

Is anxiety a positive wanderer thing? It seems everywhere.

Catalyst produces anxiety.

Only certain catalysts do.

This.  Gemini, a made a thread that's in the Olio forum if you ever want to offer your Catalyst for others to try and aid you with.  I feel like anxiety isn't so much catalyst caused but mental blocks of a sort.  A mental incoherency that is scared of something in the misbelief that it is still occurring, or at the least, possible of happening the next chance it gets.  I think of it as I need the strength to get through this now and then, I need that strength, but I'm not always that strong, but I don't always need to be.  Sometimes it needs to happen, and if I fail, I fail, it's not the end (unless it like, is...) and I just need it now and then, not all the time.  There will come a time soon to relax, calm down, find myself and reorganize myself.  Yearning for it over something until it begins interfering with my ability to relax is what I call anxiety for myself, the desire to avoid something so much it interferes with my ability to function as simply as to relax.

It is a scary feeling, and I find Courage is the answer, not physical courage, but mental courage.  Perhaps even spiritual courage.  This can not break me!  You can break me but you can't destroy me!  You can destroy me but you can't undo me.  I am here.  Now.  This is I, and if there is something that wants to push me down and make me terrified to enjoy my already hard to enjoy life.

Maybe I can channel some anger into that courage, to actually be courageous without being over-the-top angry.  (OH, that IS a good idea!  Thank you again forums!)

can I delete a post?

You can put: Redacted

Or, preferably, personally, [REDACTED]