3rd or 4th name change coming up soon.
10-12-2013, 03:43 AM,
3rd or 4th name change coming up soon.
Just thought I'd write this down here. I am going to change my name from Not Sure to Hototo (Hopi word for one who whistles) in accordance with the guidance I have received over the past few weeks.

Specifically an episode of Star Trek Voyage relating to vision quests, rubber tree people and hawks. I feel that it is an opportune time to change.

I shall give a general overview of my previous names/personas/masks and their functions.

Xenura, A name I used before B4, a analgam of Xena, Xenu and Ra. Though the last two I did not know at the time of writing but they felt natural and a natural morph of the base name. I was a huge Xena fan but I dropped this name very quickly due to my older brother being a douche about it and continuing to insult me about it, its feminity and all things related in public for quite a while.


Hkelukka, A name I picked after Xenura, inspired my Star Craft and the hive / Swarm mentality of the zerg, Short version of Hive-King-Elukka with the last word being Finnish for Animal. So roughly, The hive-king-animal, with the inbuilt joke that no hives have kings, they have queens, and the king's job is usually only to be eaten upon approaching the queen. Which to me felt like a natural way to react to this reality in which the masculine being the feminine and the feminine being the masculine is not only not sought, but is actively destroyed where-ever detected (See LGBT and other systems of thinking that try to get people to accept masculine women or feminine men if you want an idea of the kind of, ehh, "threat" that a happy-feminine man who is still quite into women would get into in this society.) Had this name for over a decade, changed it becuase I felt that a title is not suitable as much as a task oriented name would be.


Cyan, A name I picked, inspired by FF6 Cyan;


The color of clear communication being something of a minor point but it turned out to be the key to this name, as those interacting with it have come to notice. While I was able to clearly reflect in a very much crystallized fashion the situation around me I felt that it was something that I should not do further until I am certain when and if I want to do it in specific situations, instead of as a "always crystallize to max". Towards that end and to answer some internal questions about the process of clear communication and when it is and when it isnt appropriate, I turned to;


Not Sure. A name I currently wear, with the intention of bringing forth the maximum amount of destabilizing and potentially confusing catalyst for the purpose of, well, you cant figure out what you are sure of until you are truly sure of nothing. While this uncertainty answers some deep held questions it has, in the long run, been one of the most depolarizing actions I have done as it requires me to believe, strongly, that my past informational structures might be faulty in ways that I cant see and thus every possible interaction requires a tremendous amount of energy to shift through, eventually this leaves me depleted, which was also the purpose of this name. Uncertainty bringing certainty and all that. This is now being changed to;


Hototo, the Hopi Indian word the one who whistles, mostly on account of my strong desire to whistle and a lifetime spent perfecting that instrument to a point where if I am content I can whistle very closely to almost any lyrical music I follow, Dubstep is a bit difficult to whistle... The background for this name came from watching an episode of Star Trek Voyager where Chakotay the Sky Indian meets the Delta Quadrant equivelant of his home, Rubber Tree people, the storyline revolves much around a hawk that attacks Chakotay until he understands that he is home. In the end the hawk flies in the sky and the chief asks, "do you hear him now" and Chakotay says "I am home" I felt that at that point that a change to an Indian name would be prudent to match with my current new mentality.


Now, for a word about personality changes.

There are, for the most part, three types of personality changes, those that scare when / after they happen, those that cause a sense of distance from the moment when it happens, and those that cause memory loss of the moment when it happens.

The one that causes fear should be clearly obvious to be a mental problem since you fall asleep and you change a personality before you enter the dream world, so the fear is for something that happens at least twice a day, when you fall asleep and when you wake up. The lack of understanding and the lack of acceptence for that which the one who changes personality is the cause of the distress. Usually paradoxically only after thousands or tens of thousands of changes have already been made since the person has slept for every night most likely for years. I feel a great compassion for people stuck in that state but feel there is very little I can do for them.

The second change is deperzonalization, the feel that when you distance from your persona that there is no scary nothingness out there but that you have the ability to do this and talk of it in public is what causes there to be fear of what is going on, if there is any fear at all. DP change of personality feels like a warm wave of compressed air is slowly and gently blown across the totality of your being, not as a blast of air but rather like a band or barrier of "warmer more compressed air" that you slip through. After a slip everyone changes their opinions as the persona has changed, a few people realize it, some people do not. A person in DP could be said to be the classical Shaman that can walk between world with feet unfettered by the ground. Problem with this is that every time after a shift it is necessary to get re-acquainted with your friends and family and it is difficult to do repeatedly if your family and friends is/are not aware of and accepting of what you do. I have had the good fortune to be an open Shaman/Wizard in my community so most of the weird things I do causes people to just remark that its normal for me. Weird things including things like randomly controlling the weather and causing peoples diseases to heal or manifest again in the span of a few moments. Classical healer stuff. Since I am in a community where a sizable portion of the people I come across are healers or healing oriented people as well, the change of personality feels more like a change of clothes, perhaps this is more of an artifact of my culture/country that has, by the general estimate of the Shamans I have met, long LONG reached a hive-mind mentality of unprecedented strength. Example of this being that most of the people I run into randomly are telepaths in my country. Once I realized the full strength of the hive-mind in my country I started to be more open about my personality altering program/regimen, this has caused little to no negative consequences from my community and even when entirely open and public about my abilities and experiences across planes/densities, I have managed to stay an influential political figure in my community, even if for the most part not involved in the inner machinations of politics at this time. I hesitate to wager at what other country / hive-mind it would be possible to be an openly inter-dimensional being and still be involved in politics. My nickname in the party I am involved in is "Warrior-Priest".

And the third way to change personality is through the Schi road in general, where the change itself is seen in most cases in a negative or at least scary light, such a anticipation/strengthening of the negative anticipations of the change make the change more rapid, more difficult to control but much much easier and quicker to do once controlled. The last style of personality allows a person to essentially morph into any being imaginable, while the depersonalization usually is limited to roughly within the accepted societal norms of the baseline people / archtypes you are in interaction with. Or to put it in layman's term. Deperzonalisation allows you to be an angel if the people around you believe that angels exists, while Schi allows you to be Cthulhu, regardless of what people believe.

This ofcourse is something of a simplification since all 3 are within the same time/space self-to-self space/time interaction and are, for the most part, only different based on the emotional / societal expections of the persons and personas surrounding the situation in which the other-self/Self is placed in where the change occurs.

It could be said that PTSD personality change is the result of fear/anxiety being fed into the system around the memory of the personality change. DP is unconditional love regardless of what mask you wear, and Schi is conditional love for only the one specific mask you wish to always return to. Though this is, once again, a gross simplification and should not be taken as the 101 to personality changes.

Towards that end, as my method of travel is, usually, DP and not Schi or PTSD while I have been to both, I find that at this time it would be opportune to explain some of my past changes and to prepare, in public, for the next change.

Xenura, Hkelukka, Cyan and Not Sure, all exist and will continue to exists indefinitely inside of me but they are no longer being energized as their service has, for now, been fulfilled, though I can and do occasionally energize them again to keep the personas up to date. I suppose you could say that the higher self that chose to channel those selves is no longer choosing to channel those selves and now with the acceptance, appreciation and anticipation of the lower/higher self cooperation that I have come to rely on for so much, I bring forth a new name to carry, a new persona.

Hototo. The one who whistles, mostly because I feel now is a good time to distance myself from the more story oriented information and self-diagnostics that I have spent so much time in looking for the key to confusion, or more specifically, looking for the key to why I was pushed away from my original screen name. The light feet of the whistler and the point of the story in which most questions have not been answered, nor their answer considered relevant. I will, in general, allow the persona/interactions to unfold as the situation wishes and will not dictate a future pattern of how I will interact other than the general first impression I have laid out here.

With this change I also invite all previous persona related societal difficulties to be ameliorated and integrated. While the arguments and points made in other personas still apply since I do not change the content of the heart, only the way it is expressed, I do not consider the arguments left over to be applicable, any more than a work related argument between friends, would have the right to be carried over into off work conversation. Such as that is.

As I no longer wish in as much to decode for self diagnostic / exploratory reasons what people say, I am open to personal questions to a greater degree, I ask that no one write my full personal name in here if they know it due to not wanting the kind of political attention the ability to google my name and have it link here would bring. Other than that I am for the most part willing to answer questions.

With that I also ask that the name Hototo be confirmed as the emails seem reluctant to be sent.

And keep in mind, while I am able to with the cooperation and appreciation of my higher self to momentarily channel, trance channel and even hold my form in higher densities, I am still primarily a 3rd density chemical body/person, and while I may have access to a great deal of higher density experience and knowledge, I am not in as such a higher density being and I still do freak out as much as the next guy when people randomly walk up to me on the street and declare themselves to be extra-terrestrials. Which perhaps, in hindsight, might be a bit odd.

So, without further Ado. Hototo is in the house.

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3rd or 4th name change coming up soon. - Hototo - 10-12-2013, 03:43 AM
RE: 3rd or 4th name change coming up soon. - Unbound - 10-12-2013, 02:12 PM

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