What I have come to further understand from the past 12 hours...

[AnthroHeart]

We are the Creator distorted, trying to balance out these distortions resulting in us becoming the One Infinite Creator once more (undistorted).

And if we are wanderers, then ultimately we are less distorted than 3D natives. Unless, by coming into 3D as wanderers, we completely took on 3D distortions. Becoming fully 3D, it may take eons to get back into our home density. I know Ra speaks differently, but I've heard it said also in some Quo channelings that we don't automatically go back to home density.

Home density is my goal, much more than becoming Creator undistorted once again. Because of the veil, I cannot fully appreciate what being Creator is like, or what that entails. I don't have a burning urge to reunite with the All That Is, and lose my identity. I've nearly lost my identity in the past, during certain experiences where Ra took me through exercises that shook my mind. I felt my distortions. They rocked my world.

I am by no means desiring to rush the process. But I do desire to move onto at least 4D. Hopefully 6D. I want to become light again. I feel that's where I was. It could be just wishful thinking. Who knows, any one of us could be from beyond the octave. A spark of Creator coming in, with a pure light. I don't feel angelic by any means. But I am what I am. And I am glad to be here now. Doing the work I am doing. Beaming the light like a lighthouse, or like a Pulsar to put it in more astronomical terms. Maybe energetically I am bright and flashy. I don't know. But I feel like each day I begin to understand love ever more subtly.

If I could suddenly become Creator again, I'd choose not to, because I'd miss all this experience that I can provide Creator. I am helping Creator to experience itself. That in itself is a noble goal, and process. But I feel that I'd be more effective in higher density. I gave up almost too much to be here. I can, without my meds, barely keep my sanity.