Greetings from the Dark

[Ankh]

I didn't really read this thread much because it has grown so much. From what you are saying, I probably wouldn't have resonated with it much. Although I can't ignore my dark side either.

I don't think that a person who chooses the positive path, or service to others path, is an angel with happy thoughts just because of that choice. Not in my experience. I have extreme STS thoughts and feelings and whatnot else. This night for instance, at work, I really didn't want to serve *anyone* but to be left alone, and I was angry because I wasn't left alone. But accepting that STS/dark side gave me power to carry on, and when it came down to my actions, there were firm in STO: no matter how I feel and what I think, I still serve other selves because it is what I choose to believe in no matter how strong this illusion is. So the dark side, at least for me, gives me power when it is accepted and acknowledged. It's not always that easy, and it sure took me some time to figure it out what to do with this side... And I am not saying either that I know now how to handle it... but after recent experiences my experience is that this side needs definitely to be united within the self, not separated. Ra said that choosing STO path is as difficult as choosing STS path, which means that attaining 51% service to others is as difficult as attaining 95% service to self. Neither path is easy to walk in short I believe, but requires discipline and work...