Advice please...

[kdsii]

I feel your pain here.
I've been in a high-pressure sales environment where only the cunning and less-than-honest get the honors.
You have to understand - that anyone of you (or our) natures, will be put under the nutcracker by STS-style bosses.
It's their way of forcing you out, and getting someone else in, who would be more willing to bend and form to being controlled.

So, don't take it personally... Someone who uses blatant control to manage, WILL use control on you, whether you like it or not.
And, if you don't BECOME controlled, needless to say, a STS individual does not see this as progress.

You WON'T understand the pushy shovey behavior.
At the end of the day, if you can't leave that job if it makes you miserable, you -must- make that happen if possible, even if it means taking steps backwards...
You cannot succeed in an STS environment with STO virtues. It will tarnish you, and agitate them. I wish I had better advice, but that's what I had to do. Start over.

Best of luck, it gets better. I promise.

Hello,

I have a problem and I just couldn't find a solution so it occured to me to ask you lovely people.

Ok so we had our yearly perfomance meetings last week and mine was awful. I got ripped to shreds. According to my manager I'm weird and talk about topics people cannot contribute towards, I'm in the wrong job, I'm pretty shite at what I do, I'm a loner and snob and a whole lot of other things which made me very depressed, and I was a complete mess with tears running down my face.

There were some blatant lies in there as well which I disputed but I was told it would remain on the record.

Frankly alot of it was complete fabrication and just plain aggressive. There are various reasons they did this , but mostly I believe it's because they think I'm a snob and that I ignore them and feel I'm better than them. Introverts are often mistaken for snobs and I've been called a snob many times when people have misinterpreted my shyness. Over the weekend I repeated "I love myself unconditionally" at every waking moment to attempt to neutralise the negative judgement thrown at me.

I just can't understand this sort of bullying behaviour.

So now I've come in and my managers manager has sent me a request to rate/judge my managers performance including their sensitivity and empathy and understanding of staff.

As I didn't want anyone else to feel as horrible as I did, and I don't think we should be 'judged' by anyone else, I just went through and gave them top marks for each. Then I realised I was lying. But I want to forgive and be compassionate....

I'm confused. I can't pretend I have uncondtional love at the moment. I'm very hurt. But I don't want to hurt back...or judge....or lie.

What should I do as I really don't know...any advice would be good. You guys are amazing at throwing different perspectives on things. Thanks